Chapter 26 Lyx
TWENTY-SIX
Lyx
The pearl is heavy in Lyx’s pocket. No matter how small it is, it weighs her down, like it could sink her and the rest of the Indulgence to the bottom of the ocean.
She’s never felt guilt. She hardly knows what it means, but that word rises to the surface of her mind like a stream of bubbles.
She pops them one by one. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Whatever Tidus does with this pearl is none of her business.
All she knows is that it’ll get her song back, and it’s about time she gets to be selfish.
Besides, maybe the pearl is nefarious. Maybe it’s trapping people in servitude by collecting pieces of them.
Maybe Heathen and Tidus aren’t that different.
But they don’t feel the same. The tug of Lyx’s song stretches and strains across the distance, but with the pearl, Lyx feels nothing. No tie pulling her toward it, no relief at being near it. It has no control over her.
So what is it for?
The Indulgence reaches a new port at midday. It’s larger than the others, bustling with activity that immediately occupies the crew. Cypher is nowhere to be seen, probably off tormenting someone else. And Cav…
Lyx almost hopes he’ll spot her. Foolishly, she wishes that his gaze would land on her, and he would follow her and ruin her plans. It would be good for the chaos, but it isn’t to be. Cav is engrossed with Angélique, going over the stock list while crew members pass back and forth in front of them.
Lyx turns her gaze out over the harbor and catches the tail of Tidus’s flag fluttering at the far end of the docks.
Her chest tightens, but this meeting will get worse the longer she puts it off.
Still draped in her cloak from last night, she tugs the hood over her head and squeezes down the gangplank.
It’s easy to melt into the disarray. People’s eyes follow her until they’re distracted by barkers selling tickets, confectioners waving treats, or tavern maids hoisting trays of drinks.
The longer Lyx walks, the more the excitement wanes.
Bright colors and delicious scents turn to faded paint and the stench of day-old fish.
Out here, the only sounds are trollers bargaining for lures and deckhands grunting as they unload shipments.
A bird flies overhead. She gets the sudden, uneasy sense that someone is watching her.
She stiffens at the sight of Tidus. He looks worse than a week ago, skin both oozing and flaking when it’s ruffled by the breeze. When he catches sight of Lyx, he takes a puff of his cigarette and jerks his chin down an alleyway.
She scans the faces around her. No one pays her much mind, too busy calling to neighbors or pushing carts.
Her stomach sinks. She didn’t realize she was looking for an excuse.
She never enjoys her time with Tidus, but today feels nearly impossible.
Still, she straightens her shoulders and ducks down the passage after him.
She weaves through garbage, sidestepping rusted cans and crates of spoiled food. Her sandal splashes through a puddle of rotten juice, and she hikes her skirt to keep from gagging. At the end of the lane, Tidus grins through his smoke and turns another corner.
Lyx grits her teeth. This isn’t about being subtle. It’s about forcing her to follow him.
She slows her pace. It’s the only control she has with Tidus, but when she rounds the corner, he doesn’t look irritable. He looks…pleased. His eyes are bright as he flicks away the butt and pushes back an errant strand of her hair. “Look at you.”
Her stomach curdles. A calm Tidus is more of a threat than anything, but at least she’s close to her song again. That tiny glow in his chest is a small comfort. Lyx tries to steady her breathing, so aware of his finger curling in her hair.
“It’s been a while, huh?” His lips turn down into a pout. “The longest I’ve been without you. I missed you.”
She bites her tongue to keep from recoiling.
There’s an almost-guilty look on his face, one he only pulls out when he fears his normal tactics have gone too far.
A week without contact from her must have made him nervous.
He’s right; she’s never been out of his sight for that long, but she can still feel the mark from his hand on her wrist.
Bring me something, or our next conversation won’t be so pleasant.
She isn’t falling for whatever this is. Nose wrinkling, she eases back enough to slip out from his touch. “Was the piss-stained alleyway our only option?”
His hand hovers in the air before it drops. “Thought it would be good for the chaos…although, you look well-fed.”
Her mouth opens, then shuts. What is usually an echoing void in her chest is filled to the brim. Her hunger hasn’t gnawed at her in days. It’s apparent on her body, too; even under the cover of clouds, her skin sparkles.
That can’t be right. For years, she’s gotten all her feedings from Tidus, and she even doesn’t feel like she’s eaten. There’s no exhaustion or fatigue or bloating, just…buoyancy. No feeding has ever made her feel like that.
Not that it matters. Tidus is already leaning toward her again. “I know things were tense last time we spoke. You just get me so…” He trails a sharp finger down her jaw, tapping before he shakes his head. “And you know how important this is. For both of us. I need something.”
There is no apology. Whatever this act is, he’s only putting it on until she gives him what he really came for. She digs into her pocket and holds out the pearl between her fingers.
Tidus takes it from her. It’s only the size of a button, but it gleams. “A pearl?”
“Dozens of them.” Lyx’s arm drops back to her side, but she doesn’t feel lighter. “They’re hidden in Heathen’s quarters.”
Tidus grins. “Clever girl.”
It rakes up Lyx’s spine. “They’re all like that. Misshapen. Discolored.”
“Ever heard of quality control?” Tidus scoffs. Still, he keeps turning it in the light. A blemished pearl is the most valuable thing he has — besides Lyx. “What does this have to do with collecting pleasure?”
When Tidus handles the pearl, Lyx feels like she’s watching a child with something fragile, something she wants to snatch away before he ruins it. “I’m not sure. There’s a hidden room below deck. It must happen there.”
The words leave a strange feeling on her tongue. She itches to take them back, but this is what she’s supposed to do. Give Tidus what he wants, and get her song. It’s an exchange, like everything else.
Tidus rolls the pearl between his fingers before he tucks it greedily away. “See? This is exactly what we need.” He wraps a proud arm around her waist to pull her closer. “And all you needed was a little encouragement.”
Her skin crawls. She braces her palms against his chest. Depths, she’d rather be anywhere but here. Her mind reaches for an escape and fills with soot and cinnamon.
“Listen…” Tidus’s voice softens. “I know I pushed you last time, but you can’t argue with results. We’re this close to getting what we need. What you need.” She wants to pull out of his grip, but he holds her fast and tugs on the neck of his shirt. “And to show you I’m serious…”
Urchins and coral sprout through his skin.
Her shell is still embedded, but the area around it is raw and angry.
Warily, she leans closer, until she can see the edge of the shell has started to lift.
There’s a gap between the mess of his chest and the surface of the shell, sticky with pieces of Tidus’s skin.
In the midst of it all, her song glows. It knows she’s there. It knows they’re almost at the end of it. She reaches out her hand —
But Tidus tugs his shirt back into place, grabbing Lyx’s hand in his. “It hurts like a bitch to pry it out, but I want you to know I’m serious. I mean it.” He squeezes, and she grits her teeth when his shells dig into her. “Help me finish Heathen off, and your song is free. You’re free.”
Free.
Her heart stirs. The word she’s dreamed of for years is finally within her grasp, but it doesn’t feel the way she thought it would. It’s not like shedding scales or unfurling tentacles; it’s more like an anchor pulling her down.
Tidus grips her elbows. “Don’t get distracted. Ok? Don’t lose sight of it.”
The sinking feeling doesn’t release her. Neither does Tidus. He watches her closely, but she hardens her jaw to keep his prying eyes out. Eventually, he drops her arms and pulls out another cigarette.
“You know, I’ve been thinking…” Tidus cups a hand around his mouth. When he pulls it away, the end of his cigarette glows bright red. “I bet that cabin boy could get us what we need. What was his name again? Cav?”
Lyx’s mouth goes dry. Tidus’s eyes cling to her, watching the little flickers on her face while he waits to pounce. She forces a laugh. “Trust me, he doesn’t know anything.”
Tidus’s smile glints like a blade. “He knows his way around your cunt.”
A ringing starts in her ears. The alley is suddenly cramped, her skin clammy when the wind whistles past.
Tidus takes a long drag, voice singing with mockery. “Bet he’d fall over himself to give you anything you want — given the right motivation.”
Her fingernails dig into her palm. She wants to tell him to stay away. She wants to wrap her hands around his throat and slam his head into the wall — but she can’t do anything. A reaction will stoke Tidus’s interest. It’ll prove him right.
She swallows and prays it leeches the tension from her body. “Don’t bother with him,” she murmurs. Her throat is like a balled fist desperately trying to unfurl. “He’s of no interest to you.”
Beneath Tidus’s shirt, the shell burns with light. It’s so bright that they both squint before Tidus scowls. “It’s been doing that since you joined that ship. Like it wants something.”
He looks at her expectantly, but she doesn’t have an answer. She has no idea what that radiance means. All she knows is she has to get away from here. “It wants the same thing I do — to finish this and get off that ship.”
Smoke coils from his lips like a snake. “Good. You do that.”