Chapter 32 Cav
THIRTY-TWO
Cav
While Sinoe disappears, Cav rubs at his neck, still twinging from the indentations left by her fingers.
There was no hesitation when she snatched him off the street.
It’s haunting how mercurial she was, fluid but unpredictable.
His life meant nothing to her; he was barely an obstacle.
In the blink of an eye, she controlled him with her song and forced him to walk happily to his doom.
He could do nothing while his free will slipped away.
Sinoe is an apex predator on land. What could she have done to him in the water?
His scales lift on end. No wonder Lyx called him a fool. During his time in the grotto, they were surrounded by a horde of sirens. What if the others had found him first? Where would he be now? Dead at the bottom of the sea?
It’s only because of Lyx that he survived.
It’s not that he forgets she’s as powerful as Sinoe, but their power feels different.
Under Sinoe’s control, his mind sent up emergency flares; with Lyx, he craves the vulnerability.
He loves to leave his fate in her hands.
It’s been that way since the moment he washed up on her shore.
As certain as he was that Sinoe would kill him, he’s always been equally certain that Lyx will not.
When he turns to her, she’s scowling with a far-off look in her eyes. Whatever Sinoe said took a toll on her, riddles that only Lyx can comprehend, but Cav wants to understand.
“What did your other sister take from you? Mollo?” He tries to make sense of it with what he knows. “Did she give it to your ex? Is that why you’ve been meeting with someone?”
That brings Lyx back. Her head whips toward him. “You followed me? Did he see you?”
“Of course not. Cypher —” He shakes the thought away. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is getting back what you lost.”
Lyx gnaws at her lip for a long moment before she starts back down the path.
Cav jogs to keep up. “What is it? What did Sinoe mean?” When Lyx doesn’t respond, Cav swings in front of her to catch her by her arms. “Lyx, please, talk to me. I can help you. Let me help you.”
There is something so distant about her now. Something desperately out of reach, like Sinoe’s appearance put her into a boat and cast her out on her own. When Lyx finally speaks, it’s slow and punctuated, so that Cav grasps every word. “I lied to get on the Indulgence. I lied to you.”
“About looking for your ex?” The ghost of a smile crosses Cav’s face. “I told you I wouldn’t care if you were hiding something. Whatever it is, we can fix it.”
“No, we can’t!” she grits when she pulls free of his grasp, but it almost sounds like she’s pleading with him. “Do you never think about yourself? You toss yourself into danger without any idea what it entails. You risk your life for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing,” he murmurs. “It’s for you.”
“Why?!”
His face softens. “Something you don’t believe in.”
Her eyes slip shut. She remembers what he confessed in the pool. He’s not afraid of it. He doesn’t regret it, but she keeps her eyes closed, like she’s in pain. Like she can’t look at him. “Sinoe was right.” Her words are heavy. “You should do what she says. You should find someone nice —”
“I don’t want nice.” Cav recoils. “And I don’t care what she says. I want to hear it from you.”
Her head shakes sharply. “Sirens can’t —”
“Don’t tell me about sirens. Tell me about you.”
He can’t take watching her suffer for some rule she’s been told to follow. He reaches for her hands, smoothing his fingers over the pulse in her wrist.
“It’s always ‘sirens can’t,’ but never ‘I can’t.’” He cups her face and holds it between his hands. “Tell me what you feel. Tell me what’s real for you.”
Her lip trembles, and Cav swears there’s a storm brewing in her eyes.
Bewildering and wild, threatening the certainty she’s always clung to, the laws of nature she’s built her life around.
Maybe it’s all in his head. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but her voice does crack. “You’re wasting your time with me.”
“Then let me waste it.” His thumbs brush her cheeks. “Let me help you. Even if you can’t feel the same, I do. I’m still here.”
She lets out a shaky breath. Her gaze flicks over his face like she’s standing at a cliff’s edge – and then, she jumps, grabbing ahold of him and rushing to meet his mouth.
It’s as all-consuming as the rest of her.
Fire roars up his throat and heats his mouth when she presses him back against the wall.
This time, she doesn’t kiss like she needs to claw her way inside.
She kisses like she’s already there, entwined with his body and soul.
She kisses like they’re being swept away, fingers clutching his shirt, knee hiking over his hip, doing everything she can to keep him close.
He leans into her, clings to her, molds his mouth against her neck to suck a bruise under her jaw.
It doesn’t satisfy her. She tugs at his shirt and fumbles with the laces, sliding her hand down to the waist of his trousers.
He doesn’t want to deny her, but something isn’t right.
There’s a frantic insistence that vibrates off of her, a panic running out of time, like she might vanish into thin air if he lets go of her.
“We need to get back,” he breathes against her mouth. “The ship’s going to leave.”
When he pulls back, her eyes are wet. He thumbs at the tears.
“What’s wrong? What is it?”
He’s not sure he’s seen her like this. She looks over his face like she’s memorizing every detail. “Stay with me tonight. Please.” It’s the first time she’s asked him to come closer. The first time she hasn’t disguised her want with barbs or sharp edges.
“Of course,” he murmurs.
She pries her fingers out of his shirt, and he takes her hand to lead her back through the winding stone walls.
She keeps a tight grip on him when they reemerge, scanning the nearby ships until they reach the Indulgence.
Colt is loading the last of the supplies and frowns when he catches sight of Cav.
“Hey, what happened to —” Colt spots the hold Lyx has on Cav, the mark blooming on her neck, the disheveled look of both of them. He smirks. “Shit, never mind.”
They push past him and descend to the cabin. Cav’s heart thuds. He has always wanted Lyx so badly, and now, they’re racing toward a place they’ve never reached before, one he’s only been able to find in his dreams.
He wants to go there with her.
As soon as the door swings shut, she tears at his shirt.
It rips down the center, and Cav jerks the rest of the fabric apart so he can touch her again.
She gasps into his mouth, her hands roaming his breasts, his waist, his hips, and leaving a scorching trail behind.
He wishes her palms could burn him. He wishes he could have a map of everywhere she’s touched him, scar tissue rising from his skin and reminding him that she was here.
They land on the bed, cursing when it keeps them from freeing their clothes. Lyx tugs at his belt, but her shaking hands can’t finish the job, urgent and clumsy.
His hands close over hers and guide the buckle open. “It’s ok.”
“It’s not enough,” she pants. Her nails rake his stomach. “It’s not enough.”
“What’s not enough?”
“You’re not close enough.”
He works his trousers down his legs before he tugs off her dress in one motion. The full lengths of their naked bodies press against each other. It’s the first time they’ve been together like this. Nothing between them. Not even water.
His fingers skate over her body. He finds the scars that rope her torso, the iridescent scales at her clavicle, the juncture of her thighs where her tentacles formed. She wanders over him with the same reverence, her cool skin against the heat of his.
He understands what she meant. Even with their naked bodies wrapped together, there is a desperation to be closer, a longing to be entwined in something deeper than skin. He feels that same hunger to be consumed, to be devoured, to become part of each other.
He drags his mouth against hers. She molds against him, gasping when he drags his teeth into her bottom lip before he speaks. “What if we could be closer?”
Her eyes open, heavy and wanton. She kisses him again, her tongue curling into his mouth until his brain sparks. It’s so hard to pull away, but he wants more. He needs it.
He forms the words against her lips. “What if you ate me?”