Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
T his was about to get awkward, Nick thought as he stood outside Jamie’s room. What the hell had he been thinking last night? He had no business kissing her but even knowing that couldn’t make him regret doing it. As much as he would love to say that he did it for her, he knew that kiss had been for him.
All day yesterday, he’d struggled against the urge to reach out and touch her, hold her and kiss her and when she looked so damn miserable standing in front of her room yesterday, he couldn’t help himself. He’d kissed her. It wasn’t wild or out of control, but it had been the most pleasurable kiss of his life. The kiss had been simple, but still managed to leave him hard and aching for her.
He’d shocked even himself by walking away from her last night when everything in him screamed to take her to bed. It would have been easy. She was desperate to lose her virginity and for the first time in his life, he was more than eager to take it. He’d never wanted a virgin before, but he wanted her. He wanted to be the first man to touch her, taste her, and take her until she could barely scream his name and that was why he walked away from her.
Jamie was not the screw-and-leave kind of woman. She was the type of woman any man, besides him, could happily do forever with. She might think that she could handle having sex with a man and never see him again, but he knew her well enough by now to know that wasn’t the case. She might be able to go through with sleeping with a man that she didn’t know the first time, but he knew the moment it ended that she would be racked with guilt. If the guilt that she’d slept with a guy that she didn’t know didn’t get to her, then the loneliness afterward would.
This type of life wasn’t for her. She needed to wait for a guy who loved her and wanted to take care of her. Wasting her virginity on some loser she met at a bar was only going to cause her pain. He couldn’t let her do this and it had nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t like the idea of another man touching her.
He knew that he was just worried about her because he felt responsible for her and that was why he didn’t like the idea of some asshole touching her. It had nothing to do with jealousy because he didn’t get jealous. When she’d announced that she was going to hit a bar last night to get her first kiss and he wanted to put his fist through something, it was because he didn’t want to see her hurt.
It was his job to make sure that she was safe, after all. He had no problem teaching her about sex, especially if it kept her from doing something stupid like trusting some asshole. He’d teach her and discourage her from doing anything stupid. She was a timid little thing, so he didn’t think it would take all that much to get her to stay clear of other men while they were on tour. When they got back, he would ask Dana if she knew any decent men for his little recluse. Of course, he would have to meet them first to make sure that they were good enough for her.
Before he could do any of that, he was going to have to break her heart. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but it had to be done. There was no doubt in his mind that the little recluse probably thought that last night meant more than just a kiss between friends. She probably had her heart set on the two of them becoming involved, but that couldn’t happen. He didn’t do relationships and she shouldn’t accept anything less.
With a heavy sigh, Nick knocked on her door. He really had no idea how to do this without hurting her. He’d never cared before about letting a woman down, but his little recluse was his responsibility and he was surprised to realize that she was quickly becoming one of his best friends. He’d let her down gently. It really was the least he could do for her.
Jamie opened the door as he prepared himself for her tears, but all he got was a warm smile. Of course, she’d be happy to see him, Nick realized, feeling like an idiot. She’d probably spent the entire night doodling his name all over her notebooks and imagining what their kids would look like. It was sad, cute, but sad.
“Hey, Nick,” she said, smiling. “I’m so glad that you’re here.”
He couldn’t help but sigh. Of course, she was happy to see him. Maybe it would be best to quickly explain that last night’s kiss meant nothing. Sure, he’d be destroying all of her hopes and dreams, but it was for the best.
“I’m starving,” Jamie said, walking past him as she pulled the door shut behind her. “I was just about to head downstairs and grab something to eat. Do you think that we have time to grab breakfast before the signing?” she asked as she headed for the elevator.
“I think we should talk about something first,” Nick said quietly as he tried to think of a way to break it to her without breaking her heart. Sadly, he just didn’t see any way around it. He was going to have to break her heart, but he’d do it quickly. It surprised him that he actually cared if he hurt her, but he figured that was because he genuinely cared about her, another surprise, but one that didn’t matter at the moment.
“Okay,” Jamie said, pulling her beautiful strawberry-blond hair up into a messy bun. “But can we talk while we walk? I’m starving,” she said, pressing the elevator call button.
“It’s about last night,” Nick said as they stepped into the elevator. When she frowned up at him, looking adorably confused, he added, “About the kiss,” knowing that it was for the best to get it over with, but hating that he was about to hurt her. Maybe they should return to her room for this talk. He didn’t want his little recluse embarrassed when she broke down in tears.
“What about it?” Jamie asked, looking so damn pretty at that moment that all he could think about was kissing her again, but that would just send the wrong message.
“I just wanted to make sure that you understood why I did it,” Nick said, inwardly wincing when she smiled. Oh, God, did she expect a declaration of love? That would never happen. Maybe they should go upstairs, after all, he thought just as the elevator doors opened to the lobby.
“I know why you did it and I should thank you. That was really sweet, Nick. You’re a good friend,” Jamie said, reaching over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
For a moment, Nick could only stare after her as she walked across the lobby. It took the elevator doors closing to snap him out of it. That was it? Seriously? He’d given her her first kiss and it meant nothing to her? Nick thought in disgust as he shoved the doors open and went after her.
It didn’t mean anything to her? Well, that was fine because it meant even less than nothing to him. He was relieved, glad even, that she didn’t misinterpret that kiss to mean more than it really was. As long as they were both on the same page, then everything was fine, just fucking peachy.
“Are you okay?” Jamie asked as she took the bottle of water from Nick.
“Peachy,” he said tightly.
“You wouldn’t be so crabby if you’d eaten breakfast,” Jamie pointed out quietly as he glared down at her.
“I’m not cranky,” Nick bit out, narrowing his eyes on her.
“No, of course not. My mistake,” Jamie said, barely managing to bite back a smile as that glare intensified. When she started to think of his glares as cute, she didn’t know, but they were. It really had been ridiculous to be intimidated by this man. He might come off as a jerk, but he really was a big pushover.
“Damn straight,” Nick said, running his eyes over the large crowd that had gathered to meet her. The bookstore manager had booked them for only three hours, but she had a feeling they wouldn’t be getting out of here until after dinnertime.
“Do you think we could do something off the list tonight?” Jamie asked, trying not to sound too eager but it was difficult. She’d wanted to do this for years, but never had the guts to try. Now that she had Nick, she was ready to finally do it.
“Which list?” Was his voice hoarser than it had been a minute ago? She wondered if he was getting sick. If he was, then they would have to put off her plans for another night. She’d be disappointed, but she’d get over it.
“The original list,” Jamie said, stepping out of the way as one of the cashiers carrying a large cardboard sign with a picture of her books on it walked past her.
“Oh,” Nick said, sounding a little disappointed.
Well, of course, he was disappointed, she realized, feeling like an idiot. He hadn’t been with a woman since this tour started and was probably hoping that they’d hit a bar or a club so that he could rectify that. The realization that he wanted to be with another woman hurt, so she shoved the thought away, knowing that it wouldn’t do her any good to wish things were different.
They were two completely different people and nothing she said or did would ever change that. When this was all over, she would most likely only see him when she ran into him at the office. Maybe they’d exchange a few pleasantries while they waited for the elevator together, but she doubted there would ever be anything more than that. Right now, she was going to focus on what they did have, a friendship of sorts.
When the manager, a short woman with thick glasses and a nervous smile, removed the red ribbon that held the line back, Nick pulled her chair out and gestured for her to sit down. Biting her lip, Jamie did just that, hoping that the large breakfast she ate before coming here would help settle her nerves.
She’d been doing this for a little over a month now, and although she thought she was improving with making small talk with her readers and not freaking out, it was still stressful for her. The only time she found herself relaxing was when Nick was close by. Thankfully, he’d been staying closer the past couple of weeks, probably to make sure that she didn’t scare off the fans, Jamie thought as she sat down and took a quick sip of water. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Nick spoke to the bookstore manager but was thankfully still close enough that she didn’t feel like panicking.
Six hours later, everything was still fine. Nick was staying close and the fans had been great. A few made her nervous, but that was mostly because they’d treated her like a freak of nature. Okay, maybe freak of nature was a bit of an exaggeration, but that’s how she felt when they wouldn’t stop gushing and going on and on about how excited they were to meet her. It was flattering, but it also made her really nervous. Several times, Nick had to step in and calmly get the over-enthusiastic fan to move along.
As she said goodbye to the sweet woman that gave her a copy of her family’s cookie recipe because Jamie mentioned on her Facebook page the other night that she was dying for a homemade cookie, she noted the young college guy standing in line. Her eyes shot to the trio of guys waiting for him near the sports section and gesturing for him to get on with it.
Why were they holding cameras? Jamie wondered as he stepped in front of her table. He cleared his throat nervously.
“Um, J.L. Lewis?” he said, sounding unsure.
“Yes?” Jamie asked, wondering if he was here to get her autograph for his girlfriend or mother. That was the excuse most of the guys used when asking for her autograph, but a few of them she suspected were closet romance novel junkies. Something about this guy told her that wasn’t the case.
Before she could wonder what he was doing, he reached over and grabbed her hand, yanking her to her feet and had his mouth plastered against hers, surprising the heck out of her and everyone in line if the startled gasps and nervous chuckles were any indication. Just as fast as it started it was over.
What the heck just happened, Jamie wondered as her eyes landed on Nick and widened. He was kneeling in front of the table and it wasn’t until he pulled his arm back that she realized what he was doing.
“Stop!” the guy on the ground cried as Nick pulled back his fist and punched him again.
“Oh, no,” Jamie mumbled, scrambling out from behind the table, but before she could get close enough to stop him, the guy’s friends were there trying to pull Nick away. Nick didn’t bother to look back as he shoved them away and focused his attention on the guy bleeding on the floor.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” the blonde guy with a buzz cut demanded as he tried to yank Nick back. “It was just for a frat scavenger hunt. Let him go!”
Nick ignored him and focused on the guy throwing wild swings as he tried to fight Nick off. A few connected with Nick’s jaw, but if they hurt, it didn’t show. Jamie shoved the college kids out of the way and did the only thing she could think of at the moment.
She launched herself onto Nick’s back.
“Get the hell off of me!” he snapped, trying to gently shrug her off even as he moved to punch the guy again.
“No!” Jamie said, wrapping her legs around his waist in an attempt to use her weight to throw him off.
“Jamie!” Nick snapped, pausing mid-punch to try and shrug her off again, but she wouldn’t budge.
The guy on the floor took the opportunity to make a run for it with his friends, cursing as they moved to join him. With a growl of frustration, Nick got to his feet to go after them, but apparently, he refused to do it with her still on his back.
“Get off!”
“No!”
“Get the hell off my back so that I can go kick his ass!”
“You already did!” Jamie pointed out and then added. “He left bloody and crying! Is that not good enough for you?”
He paused briefly and shook his head as he reached back to pull her off, but she refused to let go. “ Jamie ,” he growled in warning. Once upon a time that would have sent her screaming for the hills, but not anymore. He wouldn’t hurt her. She knew that, but just in case he decided to get even with her for this little stunt, she made a mental note to hide her chocolate later.
“Um, excuse me?” the bookstore manager said, grabbing their attention.
With a sigh, Nick turned around so that they were both facing the woman who looked really freaking nervous. Not that Jamie could blame her. She just hoped the woman didn’t call the cops on Nick because she had absolutely no idea how to bail someone out of jail and she really had no interest in learning how.
“I’m afraid that I’m going to have ask you to leave,” she said much to Jamie’s relief since she really didn’t like the idea of Nick becoming some guy’s “special friend” for the night.