12. Seth
12
SETH
Aunt Sky sniffles as she pins a boutonniere to my shirt. She has gone around doing everyone’s. “Are you ready for this?” she asks.
I nod, brushing a hand through my hair. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
She tilts her head and waits for a beat. “Do you have a minute to take a walk with me?” she asks. “I want to talk to you about something.”
I look around. We’ve already set up all the chairs and tables. Mr. Jacobson has been cooking since early this morning. The scent of the smoker and cooking meat was what woke me up today. How he got up so early after the amount of drinking he did last night is still beyond me, but whatever.
“Yeah, I have time,” I say. Sky walks out the door, and I follow her. She looks slightly nervous and a whole lot of resigned, and I’m honestly a little worried all of a sudden. “Is everything okay?” I ask. She keeps walking until she falls in beside me on the narrow path that leads down to the water. She’s wearing a dress. I know Gabby helped her pick it out. It’s stunning, but Aunt Sky has always been beautiful. “I don’t want to do this,” she says, her voice cracking. “But I promised.”
I freeze when my shoes hit the sandy shore. She has led me to the water’s edge. The sand is crunchy and slippery at the same time beneath my shoes.
“Do what?” I ask.
She wipes a tear from below her eye. “I swore I wouldn’t cry today, but I might have to break my promise.”
“What did you want to talk about?” Now, she has made me nervous.
“Your mom,” she said.
I freeze. “I don’t need…” I start to say. But I let my voice trail off when I see the resignation on her face. “What about her?” I ask.
“I never knew you guys even existed until Dad called me one day and asked me to have lunch with him. He told me about his other family. He told me about your mom and you three kids, and he told me what you guys were going to be going through. He asked me if I would take you. “Because I had so much love to give,” he said, or something like that.” She waves a breezy hand in the air. “All bullshit, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“I didn’t know shit about being a mom. The weirdest part was when I saw my dad with you guys at the funeral. He knew you guys. He’d never known me. He barely spoke three words to me on a normal day, but he knew you three, that was for certain. He adored all of you. And I was jealous. So jealous. He was for you guys what he’d never been able to be for me.”
She swallows so hard that I can hear it. “Do you remember the day we were at the hospital, that last day with your mom?” she asks quietly.
“Yes.” I do remember it. I remember every detail, all the way down to the smell of antiseptic and the click of the IV pumps that helped to control my mom’s pain. “I remember.”
“You left to go to the bathroom, and she asked Matt to leave and to keep you out of the room for a few minutes. I think he took you down to the cafeteria or something. The girls were still sitting in the lobby with the nurse, but then Reagan sat down with them, and she hung out for a little while. Do you remember?”
“I don’t remember Reagan, but what about it?” My brain is ticking back. It’s like looking through old albums in my mind. Turning pages and seeing the moments.
“While you were gone, she said something to me, and I think it’s important for you to know about it.”
I haul in a breath and scratch the bridge of my nose. “What was it?” I finally ask.
Sky takes my face in her hands and stares into my eyes. She smiles. “She said I have to do this, so bear with me,” she says with a watery chuckle.
“Okay,” I whisper. My mom used to grab my face and stare into my eyes all the time. Sometimes, she didn’t even say anything. It was just to let me know she was there.
“She said to tell you that you are the best and most important thing she ever did. Her law degree? Worthless. Her home? Nothing. Her success? Inconsequential.” Sky doesn’t even cry. In fact, she looks kind of happy. “You were her greatest success, and she told me I’m supposed to tell you that. You and your sisters—you meant the world to her. She would have given up everything else just to have you guys. And she told me to tell you that she desperately wanted to stay but couldn’t, but that she’ll be here when you need her, so if you need her now, she’s here.” She lets my face go and takes a step back. “That’s all she said. She said I had to tell you, and I had to tell you like that.”
“Okay,” I say. “Thank you.”
Aunt Sky’s brow furrows. “This is weird. I thought you’d be upset.”
I shrug. “I already knew all that. Mom showed me every day how much she loved me. I knew she didn’t want to go. And I knew she picked you to be my mom after she was gone. She picked you, and if she picked you, you had to be amazing because my mom loved me too much to make mistakes about who cared for me.”
“You took on so much responsibility as a child,” Sky says. “You were already a grown-up when I met you.” She laughs.
“Nah,” I say. “I was a little boy, still wanting to belong. I belong with you. With Matt. With Gabby.” I close my eyes and wait for a minute. “If I could have picked anybody to be my mom, it would have been you, Aunt Sky.” I reach into my shirt and pull out the pendant Aunt Sky had made for me for the first Christmas after my mom died. It’s an etching of my mother. “I wear her close to my heart.” I tuck it back in. “My mom didn’t really have a choice about being my mother, but you did. You could have said no, and I’m really grateful that you didn’t.” I lean and kiss her cheek. “Really glad,” I say again.
Sky smiles.
I hear a voice calling to us from the top of the hill that leads to the area where the wedding is supposed to take place. I see Katie’s mom waving. “It’s time, Seth!” she calls. “As soon as you’re ready!”
Sky looks at me and adjusts my flower again. “Are you ready?” she asks.
“I’m ready.” We walk up the hill, and I see that the Reed brothers are seating people—some from home, some from here, and some from I don’t even know where. The aisle is short, and only our closest friends were invited, so there aren’t a ton of people. I tuck Aunt Sky’s arm in mine and deliver her to the place of honor, the place usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
She sits and arranges her skirt around her. The guys are all lined up. Gabby had trouble finding enough people for her side to match the ones on my side, but it worked out. Matt stands next to me.
“Did you bring the ring?” I ask.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out. “I didn’t forget.” He stares at me. “Did you talk to Sky?” he asks.
“I did. She grabbed my face and everything,” I say quietly with a chuckle.
“I remember your mom doing that.”
“I didn’t realize I needed that reminder until Sky did that. I can feel her now when I didn’t before,” I admit, but it doesn’t make me sad. If anything, it’s uplifting.
Suddenly, Jake and Gabby appear at the end of the aisle. Gabby’s eyes meet mine, and I forget to breathe. Matt claps a hand on my shoulder and squeezes, giving a jolt to bring me back to life. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
And she’s mine.
Matt passes me the ring, and I feel the gentlest breeze brush through my hair, and I know my mom is there. I stop, suck in a breath, and take in the knowledge that the people we love and who love us never really leave us. We can find them in our memories, like turning the pages of a book. Oh, look. There they are.
I slide the ring onto Gabby’s finger, and there’s no doubt in the world that she is where I am supposed to be.
After we say I do, I dip her into a romantic kiss she didn’t expect. She comes up laughing, and the people sitting in the aisles go crazy. Someone whistles loudly.
We go to share the rest of the day with friends and family. We even end up in the lake at one point, but in the end, when we’re alone in our own cabin—a gift from Mr. Jacobson—I pull her on top of me and count my lucky stars, and she leaves me seeing plenty of them.