CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
A few espresso martinis
VANESSA
“C’mon, Nate! You call that a slapshot? I could hit the puck harder in my sleep!”
Sydney yells from the stands as Nate’s shot deflects off the goalpost. He looks over his shoulder and shakes his head at his sister, and Maddie pulls Sydney back down to her seat.
Personally, I love when the two of them come to games with me, but I can’t say the same for Nate. I get to hang out with my friends while working, and I get to listen to Sydney talk smack to her brother all game.I don’t understand how Nate can so easily tune her out. He always rolls his eyes and laughs when she says vulgar things or comments on how he’s playing. It must be a sibling thing.
We’re playing New Hampshire this weekend—a game today and then another tomorrow afternoon. These are also the last two games of the semester. After this weekend, exams start and the boys get a nice break until they come back for their winter tournament.
I’m secretly hoping Maddie and Sydney will be back by then so we can all celebrate together. Last year I spent New Year’s Eve alone in New York—I opted to stay at the condo rather than going with my parents to my aunt Helen’s party.
The Wolves have been playing phenomenally. Kieran has been on his A game, not letting a single shot get by him. Jake and Eli are also playing as if their lives depend on it. Eli has gotten two penalties so far for icing and elbowing, but Jake has picked up the slack when we’re down a man.
I made sure to snap a few shots of Eli with a grumpy look on his face—these photos are pure gold. And I know the guys will love to see these. I made a small collection of photos I call Pretty Penalties . It’s a curated album of each player who has spent time in the sin bin. Most of them are grumpy, some are yelling, and some—like Levi, look like they’re staring into nothing.
But even with a power play, New Hampshire is nothing compared to BCU.
Ever since Jake found out that the GM of the Demons has been watching him this season, he’s been playing like he deserves that spot on their team. Some would call him a show-off, but it’s all pure, natural talent.
I’ve decided to shove all the thoughts about our future out of my head at least until exams are over. I need to focus on school rather than my relationship status. I want him to achieve everything he’s ever wanted out of life, I don’t want to be the one who ruins it for him.
The final buzzer goes off, and the score is 3–0.I wouldn’t want to be on New Hampshire’s team tonight.
I tuck my camera into my backpack. I really need to get a new camera bag, but my legs are tired and I don’t feel like dealing with packed malls today. I swear, as soon as Thanksgiving passes, the mall becomes a frenzy of last-minute shoppers trying to get all of their Christmas gifts done.
Sydney, Maddie, and I make our way to the lobby of the arena to wait for the boys with the rest of the spectators. Littered in the main area are tons of students, parents, and faculty. Stationed right next to the doors that lead to the locker rooms is a group of five or six girls, patiently waiting. I notice one of the girls is Caroline, the rest I’ve seen at the games, but I’ve never introduced myself.
After twenty minutes I finally see Jake. I notice his wet hair first, followed by his wide-grinned smile. He hates to wait for his hair to dry after showering, even if it’s below freezing outside, he’ll still choose to leave it damp.
Before making his way over to the three of us, he gets sidetracked by the group of girls by the doors. He leans down to give Caroline a hug before getting caught in a conversation with her friends. As Levi and Kieran walk by, Kieran pulls Jake away from the group, leaving Levi in his place.
I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s going to be like when Jake joins the Demons.College hockey is one thing, but being in the NHL is a whole different league. He’s going from small campus rinks to giant hockey arenas around the country. He’ll have thousands of new fans throwing themselves at him. The days of sorority girls will be long behind him and he’ll be thrown in with supermodels, singers, and other A-listers.He’s going to be fresh meat and people are going to want to snatch up the NHL’s newest treat.
Jake walks over and immediately engulfs me in a hug, his warm sandalwood scent filling me as he plops a kiss on the top of my head.
“Hey, you.” He wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. He feels so solid. Ugh, I love his muscles. “What are you girls getting up to tonight?”
“Girl’s night. We’re gonna do some Christmas baking and decorating. Maybe have an espresso martini…or five. Who knows what tonight will bring.”
“Mm, that’ll be fun. Maybe I’ll sneak over later for dessert.” He places a soft kiss to my temple.
Sydney shakes her head at the two of us. “You’re disgusting.”
Nate, Eli, and Kieran join us, listening to Sydney list all the different types of cookies she wants to bake tonight.
“Nichols, can you bring some to the house the next time you’re over?”
Sydney whips her head toward her brother. “No. If you want cookies, you can make your own.”
“ Please , Syd. You know you’re the best baker in the family.”
“ Fine . You’re all annoying me. Girls, let’s go.” Sydney flips her honey curls over her shoulder and leads the way to the parking lot.
Instead of turning around to see just Maddie and I following, she finds the whole group trailing behind her. She huffs again.
“I will definitely be drinking multiple espresso martinis if I have to deal with you two and Christmas music all night.” Maddie rubs her temples as if she already has a headache.
“Not a fan of Christmas?” Kieran’s question sparks her attention, her eyes narrowing in on him as we walk out of the building.
“Used to love the holiday, now, not so much. I only put up with these two because I love them.” She grabs Sydney and smacks her cheek with a kiss.
“Aw, here that, Ness—Maddie loves us.”
Maddie sticks her tongue out. I love her and her grumpy attitude. Whoever falls in love with her, well—they better be able to handle her attitude.
Jake and I trail at the back of the group, peppering my head and cheeks with kisses.
“Did you see the goal I scored for you in the second period?”
“Yes, I did, it was very hot. I also saw you check that guy into the boards when he was going after Levi. You’re such a big softy. Don’t want anyone to hurt your friends, huh, Jakey.” I poke his dimples as he smiles shyly.
He hates that nickname, but only tolerates me calling him that. Kieran once tried to call him Jakey and he tackled him to the ground faster than I could blink.
“I might have a soft spot for my friends, but trust me, baby, I’m hard in all the right places for you.”
“Mm-hm, right.” I wink at him as we stride to Sydney’s car. “So…what did you and Caroline chat about?”I casually throw that into the conversation. I’m not necessarily jealous, but I know that he and Caroline have hooked up in the past.
“She was congratulating me on my contract.”
How the hell does she know about that?
As if he can read my mind, he answers my question. “Her dad is a sports broadcaster, so he gets a lot of the inside scoop.”
“Oh. Cool.” I try to sound neutral, as if Caroline knowing more about hockey than me doesn’t make me a little insecure.
We stop in front of Sydney’s car and he spins me around so I face him. “So what are you girls actually doing tonight?”
It’s funny that he thinks girls’ night entails so much more than drinking and baking cookies—but that’s exactly what we plan on doing.Although, it’s always fun making Jake a little jealous.
“We’ll bake some cookies, have a few drinks, and probably order a male stripper or two. You know, the usual.”
“Hmm, well once the male strippers are gone, give me a call and I’ll show you what a really good time is.”
He winks at me, the simple look immediately taking effect on me. I want to say screw it to girls’ night and go home with him—but I can’t go back on my promise.
“What are you going to do without me for a whole night?”
Jake shrugs his shoulders, then runs a free hand through his mess of waves. “Eli wants to go out to a sports bar to catch the Boston game, so we’ll probably get wings and beer. But the second you get too lonely, call me and I’ll be right over.”
Jake brings his lips down to mine, kissing me slowly and deeply.
“All right, go have fun with the girls. I’ll see you tomorrow after the game?”
“Only if you win.” I give him a wink before hopping in the back of the car, a grin sprawled across my face.
The second we pull out of the parking lot, Maddie turns around to face me as Sydney brings us back to the condo.
“Five dollars, he’s over before midnight.”
“Yeah right, it’s girls’ night.” Sydney defends me.
“Exactly! We have too much baking and decorating to do.”
I’m probably going to owe Maddie five bucks by the end of the night.
Midnight has come and gone and so far there’s no sign of Jake.
Actually, I haven’t heard a single peep from him since we left the arena.
I sent him a few texts keeping him updated on my night and sent over a photo of the cookies we decorated in case he wanted a specific one—personally I think my Christmas trees look better than Maddie’s reindeer ones, but they all taste the same.
Even with pictures of the baked goods and a sneaky photo I took in the bathroom, there’s still no response from him.
Sydney made her mother’s sugar cookie recipe, and while the they were cooling, Christmas threw up in our place.We had originally planned on getting a real Christmas tree, but decided the trip out of the city would be too much. We ended up pulling out our old one from storage, the one we thrifted the first year we lived together. It’s a basic green tree, about six feet tall with fake snow dusted on some of the branches.
For our decor, we like to stick with classic colors for Christmas, accenting the tree with deep red and gold tinsel, but we have all added our own ornaments to make a very odd collection. Sydney brought some older handmade ornaments from home, Maddie strictly likes gold and green, and I added a few special ornaments I’ve collected over the years from thrift stores and yard sales. If you look at our tree, it appears like it was decorated by children. To be fair, we were a few espresso martinis deep.
I lost count after the fourth.
“I vote we watch The Grinch and fall into a cookie coma, anyone else agree?”
“ Fine, ” Maddie mumbles from the couch, her face hidden in a pillow.She’s had the most to drink out of us all and I’m willing to bet she’s asleep before the opening monologue finishes.
“I’m gonna give Jake a quick call and let him know we’re winding down for the night. You can start it.”
Sydney makes a whip-slashing noise before grabbing one of many candy canes from our tree and settling onto the couch next to Maddie.
I head down the hallway that we’ve lined with garland and small fairy lights. It feels as if we were transported into a fantasy realm. I reach my bedroom, which doesn’t have much Christmas cheer—just a themed throw blanket I put on my bed and a small Charlie Brown Christmas tree on my desk.My bed is soft and cozy as I plop down and pull my phone out from my sweatpants. I think Maddie made the martinis a little too strong because it takes me longer to find Jake in my phone and dial his number.
The phone rings for almost a full minute before he finally answers.
“Hello?” The noise in the background is overpowering his voice, making it sound like he’s so far away.
“Jakey!” Oh God, yup, I’m definitely more tipsy than I thought . “Hi. I miss you.”
“Someone is a little tipsy, isn’t she?”
I accidentally hiccup right into the phone. Yeah, not tipsy, definitely drunk.
“A little. How’s your night going?”
It’s hard to hear his response over the talking and shouting in the background. It’s past midnight, so the Boston game has to be over by now.
“It’s good, just drinking and hanging out.”
I think nothing of it, until I hear a group of high-pitched voices calling Jake’s name. My stomach feels empty like when you’re on a roller coaster. This feeling is all too familiar.
“What’s going on?”
His answer is short and rushed, “Oh nothing, we’re still at Wing Shack.”
I’m surprised Nate didn’t drag them out of the restaurant earlier. Especially since they have a game tomorrow.
“Oh, I thought you guys were only staying for food and beers?”
I can hear him having another conversation with someone else while I’m still on the phone, and it irritates me a little. I know that I called him while he’s out with friends, but if he doesn’t want to be on the phone then he could’ve just sent me to voice mail.
“Uh—yeah, that was the original plan. Then Car and some of her friends showed up. Are you girls done with Christmas decorating?”
“Yeah, we’ve been done for a while. I was going to see if you wanted to come by to watch a movie, but it seems like you’re still busy.”
This time I hear Levi’s voice call out for Jake to join them for shots.
“I’ll call you after we leave, okay, angel girl?”
Did he completely disregard what I said?
“Okay, good—” Before I can finish saying goodnight, I hear a dial tone.
He hung up on me.
He hung up.
On me.
I feel my cheeks heat and tears threaten to fall.I’m drunk and overstimulated, and I’m most likely making a bigger deal out of this than I should.
Actually, no. I’m not making this a bigger deal than it is. I think any girl whose boyfriend was out partying with girls and rushing them off the phone might put someone on edge.
Jake has been acting out of character all week and I’m trying hard to understand why. Deep down I know that it’s because of hockey. More specifically, his contract with the New Jersey Demons.It’s been looming over his head all semester, and once he finally got the confirmation he needed, he’s acted completely out of character. I’ve tried putting it out of my head, but it’s hard when the person I’ve come to know and adore is slowly slipping away.The other day I was running late to morning practice and Jake offered to get me my usual latte, but when I showed up, he completely forgot and barely spoke to me after getting changed, rushing off with the guys. I can’t be mad that he’s hanging out with his friends, but he’s been pushing me to the side more and more every day.
It feels like he’s purposefully putting distance between us. Maybe he wants to break things off. I wouldn’t blame him. If I was going to the pros, I wouldn’t want a girlfriend holding me back. I’d want to explore my options, and God knows how many options he’s going to have.
All of it feels so heavy right now.
The fact that he’s hanging out with a group of girls I don’t fully feel comfortable with instead of coming here like he promised, upsets me even more. Especially since he used to hook up with one of those girls, and him actively avoiding me only fuels the anxiety building inside. This triggers me back to high school when my ex would ignore my calls and texts because he was busy sneaking around behind my back with my best friend.
Maybe my feelings are warranted.
What’s stopping him from going back to the person he was before he met me?
Does he miss being single? Is that why he was so quick to rush me off the phone? Does he miss the attention he used to get? Who’s to say that the attention ever stopped?
I see the comments girls leave on his posts. Anytime he’s featured on the Wolves account, flocks of students comment. I can only imagine how insane his social media presence will be once he’s gone pro, and how much attention he’ll be getting.
My thoughts have taken control of my body, locking every bone and muscle. It feels like my life is crumbling beneath my feet. I thought that maybe for once I deserved to be loved. I allowed someone into my life, but I didn’t think of the consequences. I didn’t think about how I’d feel when Jake leaves for New Jersey. I didn’t think about how we will always be in two different places. I didn’t think about all these little things because I was so clouded by my feelings for Jake.
I’m such an idiot. How could I have ever believed this could work?