Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
I was wrong. I knew I was, and yet…even as they are gone forever, the child still mocks me in my dreams. She runs away when I reach for her.
—Lady Anabeth, Consort to Her Majesty Cion Livii, Queen of Aren, D’anna
Just before sunrise, Nya slipped quietly out of Nyx’s house. No one had awoken, not even the dragons. But just as she made it to a packed dirt road past the garden full of night-blooming florals, a vaguely familiar voice mused, “I thought I might see you out here.”
She jerked then whirled to see Thanatos leaning casually against a tree. He was wearing a black turtleneck and a silk bathrobe, of all things, and his jet-black hair stuck up in a way that made him look distinctly mischievous.
She didn’t trust him for a second.
“What do you want?” she asked sharply.
He chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “You know, you look just like Sora, but everything else…all that fire and reckless determination; that is all your father.”
“You’re not the first to make such an observation,” she said stiffly, unsure what his intentions were. To make her go back, she assumed, which she couldn’t do.
Except, he surprised her when he waved a dismissive hand and said, “You can relax. I’m not going to wake them, nor will I stop you.”
The smart thing to do would have been to leave then, but curiosity got the better of her. “But why?”
He sighed heavily, glancing back at the house, hands shoved deep in the pockets of the pants he wore beneath the robe. “You can’t stay here, for several reasons. I understand your parents’ wish to deny that, but they cannot protect you. This thread of fate is yours alone to follow.”
“I know,” she whispered. Then, after a beat, she added, “You didn’t want to do it, did you? Sell my mother to Kronos, I mean?”
She wasn’t exactly sure why she asked the question. Perhaps it was a burning need to understand why such a thing had happened in the first place, to make sense of the decisions that had led to so much pain for both her parents. For all of them.
Slowly, Thanatos shook his head, the silver in his eyes dimming so much, she could no longer see the outline of his irises.
“Of course I didn’t. I would have rather died than let him keep summoning her to that godsforsaken palace.
But when the decision was made, it wasn’t my soul on the line.
Nyx was supposed to marry Kronos, and when she didn’t, he was enraged.
Then, Sora was born, and he gave us two options: bind her soul to his and sign her away to a betrothal as soon as she came of age, or allow us to watch as he destroyed her before she’d barely had a chance to exist. Because of the embers, Kronos was more powerful than any of us, so we could not fight him.
” He looked away, mouth downturned. “It was foolish of Sol to ever grant him such power in the first place.”
A shiver raced down Nya’s spine. They could say what they liked about Morgen, but she knew he would never hurt an innocent child.
She turned, readying to leave, but then glanced back one last time. “My father told me last night that in Arcadia, there are many things worse than death.”
A shadow passed over Thanatos’ face. “Indeed. He learned that when he took on the burden of watching exactly what I thought I had prevented. Death always finds a way, Nya. Fate ensures that, and even I am powerless to stop it.”
This time, she didn’t reply, and he didn’t stop her as she left, but his words haunted her as she walked, turning over and over again in her mind. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the phrase was familiar to her.
When she reached an open field somewhat shielded by a forest on one side, she sat in the tall grass and closed her eyes.
Varax?
It took a moment, but as always, the dragon answered, and her voice filled Nya’s mind. I presume you would like me to collect you.
I need to go back.
You know, I could have told you this would happen. It would have saved me all the flying.
Nya opened her eyes, resting her chin atop her knees. Apologies.
Ah, yes. You sound very sorry.
The pathway quieted after that, and she curled her arms around herself to try and shield against the cold wind.
Nyx had given her a small pile of clothing that had been her mother’s, and before she’d left, Nya had tugged on a thick sweater and fleece-lined pants.
Still, the sun was just starting to crest over the horizon, not yet warming the ground.
She wasn’t sure if Morgen would risk coming with Varax through a portal. If not, it would take her at least a few hours to get here. But perhaps, after Nya had fled so suddenly, he would make her wait as a sort of punishment.
Would he be angry? He hadn’t made any moves to stop her, so he had to know she would have no choice to go back. She had never seen Morgen get truly angry. She wasn’t even sure he was capable of such an emotion. Anger required letting go, and he never let himself do that.
She was just about to stand and stretch when she saw a slight shimmer in the air at the edge of the clearing, so subtle, she doubted it was actually there.
But then, quickly, it spread and thickened, a large portion of the empty air solidifying into what looked like an opaque mirror.
Before her mind really had a chance to catch up, Varax materialized, shaking her head and slapping her tail against the dirt as she landed.
Morgen’s voice echoed down the pathway. Varax. I’d appreciate it if you try to be quiet.
You know how portaling makes me feel.
Nya’s throat tightened, both hearing and seeing Morgen atop Varax, but it wasn’t just that causing a sudden wave of sadness through her.
She had never seen him portal before. He had promised she would someday, but she had never really believed him.
Now, she wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.
He didn’t dismount, and she took a deep breath, approaching Varax with slow steps, giving herself time to try and tamp down the tidal wave of emotions rising within her.
Seeing him brought far too much relief that she wanted to blame on the new bond between them.
Deep down, in a place she would not admit to, she knew this was the same feeling she had experienced each time he’d come back to her in the years before.
“We need to go quickly,” he said quietly, extending a hand. “Before they realize I’m here.”
She had wondered that—if the principals could sense a presence like his.
Begrudgingly, she took his hand, but as their palms brushed, his touch sent a spark of something electric up her arm.
He must have felt it too, because his fingers twitched against hers.
She forced herself to meet his eyes, aglow with amber-gold.
He didn’t even bother to hide the embers around her anymore.
That’s new. You don’t usually shock me when we touch.
His eyes widened slightly before he corrected himself and his expression flattened again. Probably because she’d just willingly used the pathway. But he didn’t address her words, merely muttering, “Hold on.”
She did as he said, wrapping her arms around his torso.
For just a moment, before she went back to hating him, before she accused him of deceiving and betraying her, she let herself lean into his solid frame.
Once, flying had been one of the few times he allowed her so close, and she had relished every second of it.
Now, every time she felt him breathe against her, it was bittersweet.
Varax shook her head, obviously agitated as Morgen reached out a hand, the other still resting on the saddle. Nya watched the air around his fingertips begin to warp and glisten, turning the same shade of silver as ether before it spread wide.
Now, Varax. His voice sounded slightly strained, and she tightened her arms in anticipation as the dragon spread her wings and took off.
It was over in the blink of an eye, but in that breath of a second, she swore she saw a thousand blinking stars strung with silver.
She opened her mouth to ask about it as they slammed onto a slab of rock that jutted off the mountain, but she stopped short as Morgen’s entire body shuddered and then went completely limp behind her.
“Morgen?”
She tried again.
Morgen?
Her pulse skyrocketed. A sharp pain started at the center of her chest and spread, racing down her body with frightening speed.
It felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside, and she almost expected to see blood when she pressed her hand to skin.
Something was very wrong, but she couldn’t make sense of it.
“I told him not to do it!” a familiar voice called over the wind around them. “The bastard can be really stupid sometimes, especially when it comes to you.”
Nya took a short, pained breath. Carus was waiting just below, his hands on his hips, as if he’d been expecting them.
“Let go of him,” Carus said, scowling. “He deserves to hit the ground in a heap and wake up with a sore head, but I’m a good friend.”
She didn’t move or let go of Morgen’s arm, which she had grabbed without realizing. Carus glared at her, and despite the pain and panic, she narrowed her eyes.
Carus groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. “Oh, relax, sweetheart, I’ll catch him.” He shook his head, adding more quietly, “Fates, there’s two of you now.”
The pain peaked, and Nya forced herself to let go of Morgen, her heart in her throat.
Despite the fact that Morgen was a few inches taller than him, Carus caught his limp body without much struggle, and when Nya practically fell off Varax’s back too, Morgen opened his eyes, muttering, “The fuck are you looking at me like that for, Carus?”
Suddenly and all at once, the unexplainable pain disappeared.
Carus snorted obnoxiously. “Oh, good morning to you too.”
“And why are you hugging me?”