Chapter 4

Clay

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Tyler had the heavy front door ajar when he heard his name being mentioned. He opened it after taking out his keys, and dropping them in a bowl in the foyer. He strode over to Marty, kissed him, and raised his eyebrow in my direction and offered me a wide smile.

“I see some of us can afford to shop. You must have snagged that position you wanted.”

Shaking my head with an equally broad smile.

“That I did and I caught more than this.” I raised the suit still on the expensive hanger after it had been tailored for my height in less time it took for the salesman to bring a cup of coffee and an apple Danish dessert which I scoffed down.

I couldn’t get over how much better the coffee and pastry tasted.

Not because it was free and I was hungry, but because the atmosphere had been different.

Tyler spotted the glaringly expensive suit. “Clay, what the fuck?” And Marty glared at Tyler with sad doe eyes and pursed lips.

“You know, baby, we can’t afford clothes that expensive, but I promise you I will buy you a Tom Ford one day after I get my raise and after we can afford a better apartment.”

“That could take years,” Marty said pouting as he looked into Tyler’s eyes and slanted his head to the side.

Finally, Marty admitted, “I know. I don’t have anywhere to wear it, but if we ever had fuck you money, I’d buy one just to say I could and just look at it.

I’d probably mount it on the wall like a fine painting.

It’s Clay’s he just got a job,” Marty said, passing his hand over my suit as if it was a lover he was preparing to claim.

“I hope that job pays enough for you to afford that because our rent is going up and the utilities. As well as the food for that cat and whose cat is it anyway?” They both glanced at each other not wanting to take credit for the cat who was invaluable in New York because in old buildings it is a given that there will be a need for it.

As I reached to separate Marty from my suit in order to hang it up before placing it in the garment bag, I moved to rest my palm on Tyler’s shoulder to calm him.

“I’ll be able to pay for your portion of the rent and utilities and mine, if it calls for it because I got a signing bonus,” I said, strolling to the nearby closet I’d claimed, then hanging that Tom Ford masterpiece up and depositing the shoes inside there as well.

“And who paid you enough where you can be that generous?” Tyler questioned. Tyler was one of those glass half full guys and thought if it sounded too good, it was more or less too good to be true.

“Mason and Halifax,” I said, plopping down on the sofa and crossing my legs.

“Holy shit,” Tyler shouted.

“My sentiments exactly,” I said.

And then he came back to earth and pulled me down with him. “You know this is too good to be true and you know what they say.”

“No, I don’t. All I know is don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and what the fuck does that mean anyway? My father filled my head full with that, but never bothered to say what it meant.”

“You shouldn’t be ungrateful or critical,” Marty added. Tyler and I turned to gawk at him. He hunched his shoulder as he put the finishing touches on the salad. “That’s what my mother used to say.”

We were full of old sayings and had to figure it out like everything else in life.

I rose from the couch and opened the door, and took another look inside the closet and inhaled and exhaled.

“I don’t know where I could afford to go in it after this party.

I’d be all dressed up and no place to go, my grandmother used to say.

” I think we were all out of old sayings when Tyler sat at the counter bar with me and Marty and handed us a large bowl.

We glanced up. “Tonight is soup and salad.”

“And your favorite pizza topping from the best Italian restaurant in Manhattan and Jersey.” I reached for my phone and placed the order after Marty and Tyler gave me their preferences.

Before the pizza arrived, we had finished the soup and salad and were still hungry when the phone rang. I glanced at the number.

“It’s Mason,” I yelled in excitement, annoying the cat who had waited patiently for us to feed him.

Tyler and Marty walked to the next room to take another look at my suit and to give me privacy.

I was nervous. I hit the green button and stared down.

Maybe he’d made a mistake when hiring me and called to tell me I wasn’t what they were looking for.

What was I going to do with that suit, and maybe he wanted his bonus money back?

My mind was leaping from one maybe to another when Mason said, “Clay, are you there?”

He called me Clay. That must be good right, my mind said. Then I relaxed. “Yes. I’m here. I just didn’t expect a call from you... Mr. Mason.”

“Just Mason. Okay?”

“Yeah sure,” I admitted without registering what he’d said.

“I was checking to see if you were going to make it tomorrow, and if you didn’t get a suit I’d send you to my tailor, and he would have the suit ready by tomorrow morning if you went tonight to get fitted. He agreed to stay open if I needed him.”

“I purchased a suit,” I said, voice weak and soft.

“Off the rack? I can get you a better one.” I had to tell him the truth.

I’d taken some of my money and purchased this fantastic suit.

I hope he didn’t think I was a man who threw away his money.

I wanted to impress this handsome man, but not run him away if he was one of those thrifty dudes that didn’t like wasting money.

Why the fuck am I thinking like that? I questioned before blurting out, “I bought the best Tom Ford suit in the store.”

“I underestimated you, you’ve got good taste.

So, you don’t need me for anything, do you?

” What was he asking me? It was the sound of his voice begging me to tell him I needed him for something, but what?

Hell, I needed him for so much and it was more than a job.

I needed him to take me in his strong arms and hold me and kiss me, I thought as my heart beat loudly enough for him to hear over the phone.

However, I couldn’t read between the lines. He had to say what he meant because I didn’t want to find I was wrong that I had misinterpreted his intentions. Perhaps he gave attention to all his newly hired that would work for him.

Yes, I needed him. I needed to be on my back looking into his handsome face, and him inside me, I thought. But instead I said, “Will I have a mentor?”

“I will be your mentor.” What the F? I thought I knew then what he meant, nevertheless, wasn’t he straight? There was no way a man with a wife and with his standing in the business world would risk being seen or not seen with a younger gay man unless they worked together.

Or maybe my mind and body was working overtime to fool me into thinking this handsome wealthy man wanted me. A young man who if I didn’t have this job and good friends would be pitching a tent somewhere in Central Park or back in my father’s basement in Jersey if that were possible.

“When you arrive tomorrow for the Christmas party, come to my office first. I’d like to see you. Make sure you’re...” He paused. “Do you know how to tie a knot, because I don’t want you wearing a clip on.”

“My father taught me.”

“Come anyway I’d like to see you first in that suit. A handsome boy like you should be admired and taken care of. See you tomorrow.” And just like that he wasn’t on the phone any longer. As I stood perplexed by his conversation, Marty and Tyler strode into the room smiling.

“You shouldn’t have left it on speaker mode because we heard the entire conversation.” They took a seat and stared at me. I had been floored by Mason’s words and sat in the old chair opposite them.

“What?” I barked.

“You know what,” Marty said. “That man has the hots for you.”

“No. He’s just being a boss who wants the young men he hires for his firm to represent that firm in every possible way.”

“Clay, you know nothing about how men flirt. That man was flirting with you. That man, what’s his name Mr. Mason was flirting with you,” Tyler said, emphasizing Mason’s name.

“I wish it were true, but he’s happily married to a woman.”

“He’s married, but not happily.” Although I wanted to be with a man like Mason it appeared to be a dream on my part, and I would take this advantage he’d given me and keep myself open for someone else.

Someone who was gay and not get my hopes up that I may be the one this man chose to have a relationship with.

Marty and Tyler with their notions had me uneasy and nervous because what would I do if it were true?

How was I going to respond to him if all Marty and Tyler’s advice was indeed true?

‘Under no circumstance do you sleep with anyone in that company if you want to keep your job, and especially don’t sleep with the boss. ’

How could I fall in love with a man who had a wife and perhaps children. And by all counts I was in love. I fell in love the first time our eyes locked and the sexual tension was so thick you couldn’t cut it with a knife.

My mind had been spinning, and I didn’t want to face any of this now. I just wanted to go to my job and get paid and deal with my emotions later.

“When is the pizza guy going to get here?”

“Yeah, we’re hungry,” Marty and Tyler said in agreement, and that’s when the buzzer rang.

Pizza for everyone including the cat. With those anchovies I should have a new best friend, and I’ll probably need all the friends I can get.

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