Chapter 21
CHAPTER
Twenty-One
Lighting candles to chase away her worries, Thea made herself a large cup of hot chocolate.
Adding a plate of iced biscuits, she settled down on her bed in a nest of yellow blankets and looked dubiously at her newest book.
Cinnamon nibbled the edge of it. ‘I know, I’m not sure about it either,’ Thea sighed, cracking Falling in Hate with his Lordship open to the second chapter.
Her other unfinished books stared accusingly at her from her bedside table.
‘Maybe the Lord will be as arrogant and commanding as Jasper and remind me why I’m never letting him kiss me again,’ she told Cinnamon, who perched on his hind legs, tilting his head to one side as if considering the matter.
Despite her misgivings, Thea soon lost herself in her book.
Until a loud crash jolted her back to the present.
With a squeak of alarm, she leapt off the bed.
Cinnamon ran under her blankets and hid.
He’d knocked over Thea’s tallest stack of books.
‘It’s all right,’ she told him gently, kneeling on the floor to pick them up.
Her door burst open.
Jasper stood there, eyes darting around Thea’s home. Until he noticed the violets she’d painted behind her bed, and his gaze stuck there. She was surprised he hadn’t noticed them last time but now, he couldn’t look away.
‘What are you doing?’ she demanded, standing.
‘You can’t just break into my personal space.
’ Clearly he was unimpressed with her decorations but she didn’t care if he was precious about his property; she lived here now and she wouldn’t shrink her personality to keep it as pristine as she’d found it.
‘I apologise.’ He sounded as if he’d run up the stairs.
‘I was looking for you downstairs when I heard something. I was concerned you had fainted or were under attack. I had no intentions of startling you or invading your privacy.’ His cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink.
‘I saw the notes outside, and I thought—’ He shook his head. ‘I will take my leave now.’
‘No, it’s fine.’ Thea set the fallen books down on her bed.
‘I need to talk to you, and I suppose we may as well do it here, where it’s warm.
’ Now her cheeks were warm; she was standing in front of her bed, surrounded by candlelight.
It didn’t help that she was now intimately familiar with his touch, his taste, the way his voice had deepened and roughened when he’d told her I know exactly what you want.
What you need. When he had later proven that he did indeed know what she hungered for.
He’d woken an appetite within her that she hadn’t realised she’d held.
Jasper removed his coat and hat, silently hanging them on a hook as Thea bustled around her little kitchen, making more hot chocolate.
When she sneaked a glance at him, he had settled into one of her armchairs, stroking Cinnamon, who was reclining on his lap.
Thea turned back to her stove. Pressing her hands to her cheeks, she ordered them to calm.
This would not give her any ideas, she told herself strictly.
This temporary truce was only necessary to ask if he would forge a new deal with her.
Handing him a cup of chocolate, she settled into the other armchair.
Jasper met her gaze. Under the candlelight, his hair was as dark as Biscuit’s feathers, his widow’s peak prominent. ‘What did you wish to discuss?’ Though he took pains to keep his face impassive, she caught a whisper of intrigue, a brush of hope.
Thea curled her legs up, watching Cinnamon’s eyes close as he fell asleep on Jasper’s lap.
Traitor. Though she knew from experience how warming Jasper’s touch was.
She set her cup down, dragging her focus back to the matter at hand.
‘After the first threat, you said you were going to investigate the matter. Did you find anything?’
‘I did not.’ Jasper’s face shadowed. An almost imperceptible change, but Thea had learnt the shifts in his mood the way she’d learnt the phases of the moon. She’d butted against another of his secrets, then. Interesting. ‘But I do have news.’
‘Tell me,’ Thea said at once.
‘You were right,’ Jasper said, though his voice was filled with a foreboding that brought Thea little comfort.
‘Another fate-weaver has launched an attack against the Quarter. I spotted her skulking around the vicinity. Testing the boundaries of the wards. They might be fractured, but she seems to be biding her time. For what, I do not know, though I fear she fractured the wards herself, in which case, we need to stay vigilant in case she tears them down altogether.’
Thea looked uneasily at him. ‘Who is she?’
‘An old enemy. You must stay within what remains of the wards now, Thea. She will be able to recognise the shape of my power within you. If you were to become a target on my account . . .’ His hand tightened on the arm of the chair. ‘I should not be able to forgive myself.’
‘You need to inform the rest of the Magic Quarter,’ Thea said quietly. ‘They cannot be left defenceless if the wards worsen or, gods forbid, fall.’
‘I will.’ Jasper heaved a ragged sigh. ‘I shall send a raven to my contact in the Quarter and they will spread the word. The more eyes we have out there, the better.’
‘What does she look like?’
‘Heloise is a fate-weaver, she can change her appearance on a whim. But the last I saw her, she was in her true form: short blonde hair, green eyes and a tall frame.’
Thea’s hot chocolate melted on her tongue like satin. A small comfort against the great unknown, looming at their doors with threats and Hunters and whispers from other worlds. ‘I’ll keep a lookout for her. What happened between you? Why is this Heloise after you?’
‘We have a long history, but I do not know why she is targeting the Quarter.’ Jasper toyed with the fabric on the chair.
‘I can only suppose that her anger has grown over the years, and now she wishes to destroy anything connected to me. Including Stiltskin’s Apothecary and the Magic Quarter itself. ’
Thea grimaced. ‘You’re going to be even less popular around here after that.’
Jasper inclined his head. ‘I am aware of that.’
‘Is there anyone in the Quarter who isn’t afraid of you?’ she asked. ‘Do you have friends here?’
Jasper finished his chocolate, balancing his cup on the arm of his chair, seeming reluctant to move and dislodge Cinnamon, who was happily sprawled out, his paws twitching as he dreamed. Jasper tapped his fingers against the cup. ‘That’s a story for another time.’
‘Fine.’ Thea filed it away to ponder over later.
Talking to Jasper was like speaking to a wall where each stone was a secret, all stacked with such care, such balance, that to remove one would cause the entire facade to crumble.
Thea wondered what that would look like, what was behind it all.
Who he was he behind the shadows and smokescreen.
Jasper glanced down at Cinnamon, idly stroking his fur. ‘You’re thinking so hard I can practically hear it. What did you need to talk to me about? Is it to tell me that you are attending the Winter Ball with Malek?’
Thea ripped her attention away from Jasper’s hand. Their cosy scene was lulling Thea into a false sense of security, into trusting the one person she knew she could not. No matter how she hungered for him. ‘How could you possibly know that?’
‘I can see the invitation.’ Jasper glanced at the said invitation, propped up against a bowl of apples.
Thea’s face burned. ‘No, it wasn’t that.’
‘Talk to me, Thea.’ Jasper’s voice was a command, veiled in silk.
‘I wanted to ask you something.’ Her stomach twisting, she stood, taking both cups over to her little kitchen for the excuse of having something to do. She dropped them into her pail of soapy water.
Jasper gently scooped up Cinnamon and deposited the sleeping rabbit on Thea’s bed. ‘What is it?’
Thea pushed herself off from the kitchen counter, drawing herself taller. ‘Before you deny me, I want you to listen.’
Jasper’s furrows deepened.
Thea’s heart-spell pulsed harder. ‘I wish to make a new deal with you.’
Jasper tugged his collar up, his frown vanishing, along with any hint of emotion. He’d retreated to that place where Thea couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t find the man who had ridden into the forest to save her. Who had kissed her like he might have died if he didn’t.
She stood her ground. ‘If these threats were the reason I fled my previous life, I need my memories back. I need to know what’s coming for me.
Neither Pan Novak nor this fate-weaver you have history with have any reason to threaten me personally: so there has to be someone else. Someone the wards were keeping out.’
Jasper’s face was immovable, revealing nothing.
‘I am prepared to pay any price. Jasper, I need my heart and memories back. Without them, I can only ever live half a life. Please, there must be something else I can give you in their place.’ She ignored the fear sliding down her neck. ‘How many years of life is my heart worth?’
Jasper stiffened. ‘I will not allow you to shorten your life.’
‘You can’t need my heart and memories this badly,’ Thea cried out. ‘So what else is there? Are you truly that desperate to keep me indentured to the apothecary?’
‘I could do without you in a heartbeat if I wasn’t concerned you’d run off and do something foolish and make everything worse,’ Jasper snapped.
This time the warmth flooding Thea’s cheeks had nothing to do with surreptitious glances at Jasper’s mouth, his hands, the echoes of her dream staining her thoughts. It was anger. ‘What does that mean?’
Jasper stormed to the door and pulled on his coat. Each detail was immaculate, from the folds in his neck ruffle to his crisp hems. ‘I do not renege on my deals.’
‘You’re keeping secrets from me,’ Thea accused.
Jasper tugged sharply at his coat. ‘I do not renege on my deals,’ he repeated.
‘If you won’t return my heart, will you at least tell me why?’ Her throat thickened. ‘Why did I give it all away?’
Jasper shook his head, turning his back. ‘You know I cannot tell you that.’
‘Jasper.’ His name was a command, a plea, a cry for help. He turned back, wary. ‘Am I in danger?’
‘You are safe here, Thea.’
‘Do not call me that. It is not my name.’
A tense silence squeezed the air until Thea was suffocating, buckling under the weight of everything. ‘I think you had better leave.’
Jasper hesitated on the threshold. ‘You do not need to fear these threats,’ he said. ‘You’ve made this apothecary home; the Magic Quarter rallies around you. You are adored here.’
‘I don’t care what you say,’ Thea whispered.
‘The one thing, the only thing I have ever wanted or needed, you’re refusing to grant.
Anything else is meaningless.’ Jasper held a power greater than she could imagine.
Yet he refused to use it to help her. Their tryst felt like it had happened in another lifetime now.
How could she have surrendered herself to him so willingly?
‘One day I will find a way to reclaim my heart,’ she declared.
‘And I will not forget how you took pains to keep it from me. I will not forgive you for this, are we clear?’
‘As crystal,’ Jasper growled.
Two knocks sounded. They took a moment to permeate the thick atmosphere curdling between them. ‘That’s the back door,’ Thea realised aloud. ‘Someone needs help.’