Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
DEUS
“You want one?”
I freeze when I realize that she’s speaking to me. She’s holding out a sucker and I stare at it, bewildered. “This is a lousy way to poison someone.”
Her eyebrows scrunch. “Why would I poison a sucker?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“What? Did you hit your head and wake up confused or something? Do you think I’m some covert assassin?” Then she laughs like she thinks this is hilarious as I stare at her.
She’s obviously trying to kill me.
Her laugh tapers off, and I can tell she’s feeling anxious about this situation she’s found herself in. “What’s your name?”
“Asmodeus.”
She blinks then cocks her head while her blue eyes watch me. “I’m going to be honest… I’m going to struggle with that one. How about I call you Mo? Or Momo, when I’m trying to be cute. Like ‘Momo, come open this jar of pickles for me.’”
There is something quite wrong with this girl of about eighteen. Is she one of the ones my family told me to be wary of? She certainly must be.
“So…” She runs a finger along the windowsill. “What do you think about letting me go free?”
“I have no say in what happens to you.”
She rocks back in the chair as I stand guard at the door.
I would be disciplined quite severely if an elder caught me speaking to her, so I’m not sure why I’m engaging.
She hugs her legs and peels the wrapper off a second sucker before sticking it in her mouth.
I’m surprised they even allowed her to have it, but it seems to be giving her some comfort.
“Will you please let me go? I’ll give you a sucker.”
“You’re offering me a poisoned sucker in exchange for your freedom? Which part of that deal makes it seem like I’m coming out on top?”
She smiles at me. “All parts. Especially the part where you take everything from me.” She falls onto her side, blood pooled out around her. “Why did you kill me, Mo? Why did you take everything from me? You’re the reason I’m dead. You’re the reason we’re all dead.”
I jerk awake, panting while I whip the sheets back and quickly get out of bed, as if the bed itself is what caused me to have that dream, even after staying here two weeks. That wasn’t how that memory ended, but my fucked-up mind decided it needed a new ending.
I decide it needs to get fucked and hastily get dressed.
“Pocket Lint the Third, Esquire, let’s go mess something up.”
Pocket Lint trots off the bed, using the steps I got for her last week, and hurries after me into the kitchen where Ellison is sitting in his suit.
“Why haven’t you gotten rid of that thing yet?” he asks as she rushes him. She tries going for his ankles while he scowls at her. “Do not bite holes into another one of my suits, dammit!”
He’s frantically trying to step away from her and eventually throws out one of his illusions she can fuck up. She’s not overly pleased when the illusion doesn’t prance away like Ellison has been.
“Get rid of her,” Ellison growls as he points at the ferret.
“She just likes you too much,” I explain.
“Bullshit. She likes to bite me, make weird hissing noises at me, and haunt me. She should be in a cage in someone else’s home.”
I slide into a seat at the table while the dream wraps around my mind.
“What’s wrong?” Ellison asks.
I look up and beam at him. “The demons are restless today.”
“Don’t do that demon bullshit with me to try to make me uncomfortable enough to stop asking you questions. That shit doesn’t work with me.”
“You’re awfully feisty now that you’re off bed rest. Shouldn’t you still be resting and be nice to me?”
“I will do neither. Now answer the question.”
“Is that spatula to threaten me or make me something?”
“I’m not making you shit,” he grumbles as he cracks way more eggs than he’s going to eat into a skillet.
“You really should wear an apron. What if you get something on your fancy suit?”
“Don’t avoid my question,” Ellison says while he funnels all of his annoyance into scrambling the eggs. I’m not sure eggs have ever been scrambled with such force.
It’s kind of sexy.
I grin at him and he scowls at me—really, it’s a natural response at this point.
In the past two weeks, I’ve found nothing leading me to the two people who’d been in the woods. The only thing I have accomplished is beating up more of Ellison’s mother’s investigators.
They really are quite persistent. But I don’t mind.
It gives Pocket Lint and me something to do.
Other than that, I’ve wandered around Ellison’s glass mansion.
Okay, not quite a mansion but I’m sure this place cost as much as one.
Everything is pristine, and anytime I leave a cup or something slightly askew, the cleaning lady hurries onto the scene and puts it back where it belongs.
I reach out to a container of cooking utensils and slide it just three inches to the left.
“What are you doing?” Ellison asks.
“The cleaning lady and I have a game going on. I move things just a little and she sees if she can figure out what I moved.”
“And you think she’s enjoying this game?” Ellison asks as he moves it back.
“Your house is frigid, my man. It’s no wonder you think you need to be frigid. Live a little.”
“I live plenty, thank you,” he says, dividing up the eggs. “This is all you’re getting because of your sass.”
“I’d have eaten cereal at home, so I’m not complaining.” I pick up the plate and head into the living room.
“You may not eat on the couch,” he warns. This has to be the tenth time he’s told me this, but I believe that at some point, he will just cave.
“But we could watch TV while we eat and like this, we have to stare at each other’s faces,” I say as I return to the table and slide into the chair opposite him. “We’re like a married couple. Do you want to play footsie?”
His face reddens out of anger. “We are not… no.”
I cackle, pleased with myself while I eat.
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
“What question was that?” I ask.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that you won’t let me eat on the couch or play footsie with you. What am I supposed to do all day? I can’t run off into the woods alone. I can’t sit on the roof. I can’t beat up your mom’s private investigators. I’m running out of things I’m allowed to do.”
“You’re allowed to do normal things like read a book, watch a program…”
“That’s all you can think up?” I ask. “And… program? Did you come from the sixties?”
Pocket Lint the Third, Esquire rears up on my leg, wanting attention, so I pick her up and put her on my lap. Her head immediately pops up over the table, her nose going as fast as it can.
Ellison’s face instantly sours. “Put it down.”
“She’s not an it.”
“Put her down.”
“What’s her name? Say her name and I’ll put her down.”
“I’m not calling her that stupid name. Vermin should not be at the dining room table.”
I scratch the top of her head. “Here’s the deal. I’ll tell you what was going on this morning if you tell me something secretive about yourself.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Just like… something real juicy.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
We’re in a stare down now, which might have lasted all day if my phone hadn’t started ringing. Seeing that it’s Landon, I turn it on and put it on speaker as I feed Pocket Lint a bite of egg while not breaking eye contact with Ellison.
He’s enraged that I’m feeding the ferret, and now her little front paws are on the table as I question if he’s going to smack me out of his house. I’d very much enjoy seeing him try.
I answer the call with, “Good forenoon, my fellow boon companion. I would like to hereby invite you to my entombment which will happen on the morrow.”
“Do you understand a lick of what he’s saying?” Landon asks. “I have no brain power for this man. It’s like he speaks and my brain just dies a little.”
“I believe he’s inviting us to his funeral which is going to take place tomorrow,” August clarifies.
“Oh… I planned to read all day tomorrow. Deus… do you mind holding off on dying by at least a day?”
“For that, you would need to seek out and persuade Ellison. He is my grim reaper today.”
Ellison lets out a sigh. “I just want him to get the fucking ferret off the table!”
“Oh, I fixed that problem by giving Zacia her own little booster seat at the table,” Landon explains. “She wants to be included. I’m sure Lint Roller feels the same way.”
“It’s Pocket Lint,” August helpfully supplies.
“Ah, sorry.”
“Maybe tell them why we’re calling?” August suggests.
“Oh, right, right. So there’s like this supervillain who is… attacking a mall, I guess? I don’t know. Valerie talked so much I forgot to listen, but one of the villains has the power of going invisible, so we thought maybe he could be our guy.”
I jump, scoop up Pocket Lint and my rifle, and rush for the door. “I’m coming. Where?”
“I’ll text you the address.”
“I’ll be there,” I say as I run out to the car and get in only to find Ellison sliding into the passenger seat. “You are a wounded man. What are you doing?”
“Just go. He might be gone by the time you get there if you’re going to dally the whole way.”
“I never dally,” I protest as I floor the car out of the driveway and take off. I hand Ellison the ferret, and he immediately puts her in the back seat.
She is highly displeased by this treatment and tries to jump from the back seat into the front. She fails spectacularly and decides to crawl under the seats to reach us.
“You’re going to stay with Valerie, correct? Although, I have not yet concluded that Valerie is not a supervillain herself. Her satanic and sadistic tendencies lead me to believe that she’s the ultimate villain in disguise.”
“I think you just don’t like that she makes you adhere to rules,” Ellison says. “Which you should be doing anyway.”
“Rules, schmules. The only rules I have are—”