Chapter 28
twenty-eight
CADEN
The past few weeks had been nothing short of amazing.
Between practices, games, and Ash’s rehab, we’d been spending as much time together as possible.
While it was tempting to spend all that time in bed, we had also talked.
A lot. Ash now knew more about my shitty childhood thanks to my dad, and I think he finally got how serious I was when I said I’d give up hockey in a minute.
I wasn’t just throwing that out there to make him feel better about our relationship or to give him a way to save his career if we got caught—it was the god’s honest truth.
In return, Ash shared with me more about his life.
He told me about his career in the NHL, his love of the game, and his constant worry over his shoulder injury and what it would mean for the upcoming season.
We also talked a lot about his family. They sounded amazing and I was both excited and so damn worried to meet them.
What if they don’t like me?
The thought swirled in my brain for the thousandth time since we’d left Lakeside.
Considering it was only an hour-and-a-half-long drive to Ash’s parents’ house in the oldest part of Niagara Falls, I’d managed to cram an impressive amount of self-doubt into a very short period of time.
Honestly, it was probably some kind of record for me.
Watching Ash’s calm, content expression as he kept his hand on the wheel while holding my left hand entwined with his, had guilt creeping into my already nervous gut.
Ash had told me repeatedly that his family was cool and I didn’t have to worry about being anyone but myself.
But so far, being myself hadn’t really worked out for me in most social situations.
With the exception of Kait and Ash, who both seemed charmed by my shy, awkward interpersonal skills, I doubted that my instinct to stay quiet and out of the way was the key to winning over the family accustomed to Ash’s endless list of celebrity contacts.
“I can hear you worrying over there.”
Ash kept his eyes on the road but offered a supportive squeeze to my hand.
“That’s not a thing,” I argued.
“I see what I see, sweetheart. What’s the worst that can happen?” he reasoned.
“Oh, the worst would be if they thought I was some boring, dumb kid from up north who didn’t have any business being the boyfriend of one of the NHL’s most sought-after centers,” I blurted.
My nervousness had stolen my common sense, allowing my inner fears to spill out into the enclosed space of Ash’s Jeep.
A quick shoulder check had Ash pulling in the right lane and onto the gravel strip on the side of Highway 401.
Putting the engine in park, he turned as far in his seat as possible so he could face me.
“Cade, listen. . .”
I cut him off.
“Ash, you can’t just stop here! It’s for emergencies only.”
Granted, we were outside the busy sixteen-lane portion of the highway where a move like this one would have been insane to even contemplate.
“Well, let’s hope whichever cop stops to give me a ticket is a hockey fan. If not, I think I can afford to pay it, eh?”
Ash regarded me with a bland expression, blinking innocently.
“Jerk,” I accused.
He never flaunted his money or made me feel in any way that the disparity between our incomes was a thing.
Our dates had consisted of me bringing his afternoon Tim Horton’s fix to his office, then sitting on the loveseat together while he drank it, and as many nights as possible in his apartment, spending time with Poe, mostly watching The Pitt if we could keep our hands off each other for a full episode.
“Let’s not borrow trouble, as my dad says.” He waved his hand at the gravel shoulder on the other side of the windshield. “Do you really think all that is going to happen?”
Ash’s directness was reassuring and confronting at the same time. As much as I loved that he never kept me guessing—something that had helped level out my constant feelings of anxiety—he didn’t let me “it’s nothing” my way out of real conversations.
Shoving the back of my head hard against the headrest, I closed my eyes and groaned, not ready to be a grown-up and talk out my worries.
Hiding all of myself all the time was a wickedly hard habit to break.
Meanwhile, still not letting go of my hand, Ash waited for me to be ready to talk. Never mind the fact that we didn’t have time for this pit stop if we were going to make it to Olivia’s birthday on time.
Ash had shown me a picture of his niece, and seeing her cute little face in my mind was the kick in the pants I needed to open my eyes and face him.
His first reaction when our gazes met was to smile. The man was a saint wrapped in hotness.
“There he is. Look at those pretty eyes,” he praised.
“Blushing while explaining shitty feelings wasn’t on my list for today, you know.”
“Try anyway,” was his cheeky response.
“It’s just what I said. I’m not good with new people. Shit, you saw what I was like back in August with the team. It’s an important day for your family, and I don’t want to embarrass you in front of them,” I admitted.
Leaning over the space between our seats, he brought his free hand up to cup my cheek.
“Cade, please don’t put the pressure of the day going well or not on your own shoulders.
It’s a kid’s party. There’s a ninety-nine percent chance my nephew, being the oldest, will call Liv ‘stupid’ and make her cry before she opens her first gift.
My sister-in-law works a crazy, stressful job running her own software business.
Adam might nag her about taking more time off one too many times, and they’ll end up pissed at each other and try to hide it.
Or a miracle might occur, and the whole thing will run smoothly.
But worrying about everyone else’s experience isn’t your job, okay? ”
Ash could have been speaking Latin for all my anxiety-wired brain could take in what he was saying.
“Okay. I can try.”
Trying was the best I could offer. I was too used to constantly monitoring the moods of everyone around me after years of outbursts from my dad.
“Thank you. Just stick with me, and everyone will be too busy harassing me about coming home to visit more often or asking too many questions I don’t want to answer about my shoulder. You’ll be golden in comparison. Even if you just stand there and hold my hand.”
“That I can do.” Quiet listening was my specialty.
“If for some reason I’m stuck listening to my brother engineer at me, or my dad tries to get me to help him carry ‘just a of couple things’ into the garage, stick with my mom or niece and nephew. None of them will let you talk anyway.”
Gratitude flooded me that he took my worries seriously when so many people wouldn’t.
“Thank you, Ash.”
I closed the distance between us to give him a soft, lingering kiss, trying to pour every bit of affection swelling inside me into each tender brush of our lips.
When we parted, both breathing a bit faster than before, Ash grabbed his phone and sent a quick message.
Putting the car in gear, he got us back onto the road.
“I just messaged Mom to tell her we might be a couple of minutes late. You never can tell what traffic is going to be like on the 401, eh?”
An hour later, I found myself surrounded by Landrys.
The cake, at the birthday girl’s polite request, had been eaten before lunch was served, which felt like a solid decision considering how damn good it tasted.
“Yes” seemed to be the only rule for the day.
Cake before lunch? Sure! Yorkshire puddings and gravy as a main course? Why not? Grandpa and Daddy taking turns on the Switch to see who could build the best rollercoaster in Minecraft? “Only if Ash and his boyfriend are the judges.”
I was both mesmerized and exhausted by the level of energy these people possessed. Maybe they had the cake first, so the sugar high kept them going strong through the rest of the party?
All I knew was, as predicted, Ash’s dad, Shane, had asked him to look at something in the garage for a minute, and I’d taken the opportunity to sink into the cozy corner of the sectional while everyone else was busy.
“Hi, Caden.”
Olivia, or Liv as her family called her, bounced onto the seat next to mine.
“Hey, birthday girl. How does it feel to be seven?”
Sitting criss-cross-applesauce sideways on the couch so she could face me, she fidgeted with her fingers while she took a second to think over my question.
“Well, pretty much the same as being six. ’Cept.
. .” She held up the five fingers on her right hand and started counting them off.
“I get to go to bed twenty minutes later from now on, which is good because I can watch a whole other episode of Is It Cake? Mommy says I can start helping with the forks and spoons in the dishwasher now, so I’ll get an extra dollar allowance a week.
I’m gonna start saving money for my own Switch so I don’t have to share with my brother, Blaine, anymore.
And Daddy promised to start teaching me chess so I can beat Grandpa and Blaine. He said seven sounded ‘old enough.’”
“Holy moly. That does sound like a lot of good reasons to get another year older,” I agreed, my tone serious, floored by how carefully she’d answered.
“Yep.” She nodded happily before dropping her voice to a whisper. “But do you know what the best part of my birthday has been so far?”
“What?” I slouched down in my seat slightly to be closer to her height.
“Uncle Asher coming home just for me. Grandma and Grandpa are extra happy when he’s here, even though they’re always pretty happy anyway.
Daddy says it’s because they miss him so much when he’s playing hockey all the time.
But Mommy says it’s because they like to know all their kids are safe at home. Which do you think?”
Shit, kids knew a lot of stuff. As the sweetness of her words caused pressure to build behind my eyes, I quickly blinked away the moisture so I wouldn’t be the one who cried at the birthday party.
That would certainly make me memorable.