Chapter 34 #2
I could handle a firestorm of bad PR if I had to. Zane now being in the loop about our relationship meant that there was one less secret in the way of me keeping Cade forever.
“Yes and no.” Zane’s voice took on a softness I’d never heard from him before. “Yes, it’s fast. But no, it’s not too early to know how you feel. Love doesn’t play by the rules.” He sighed, a speck of sympathy in his tone.
His gaze had skirted away from mine as he spoke. His stare looked unfocused to his right, as if he was thinking about something that wasn’t in the room with us.
As far as I knew, Zane was never one to want anything serious with anyone. It was hell to meet people with genuine intentions while playing professional sports. Zane had experienced the social life of being a star defender on the Titans before losing it all.
Whatever he was seeing in his mind, now was not the time to ask. Nor did I have the right to meddle in his personal life while on thin ice with him.
“You know you have to resign, like yesterday, right?” he asked, phrasing it like a question when we both knew the answer already.
I nodded.
Before I could speak, a loud knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.
“God, what the fuck could it be now? What have I done in my life to deserve more bullshit than this?” Zane complained, flipping his hand in my direction.
“I swear to god, if someone is here to report some stupid-ass shit incident from one of the players, I’m going to have to send it to Hawkins or Kovac to handle it,” he said.
Zane stood, striding to the door, pulling it open for the second time that night, his movements slightly less sharp than the first time.
His large frame blocked whoever was in the doorway.
“Fuck me. Go back to your room. I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with you now,” he barked at the visitor.
“It has to be now, Coach. I can’t let this go on any longer without saying something.”
I knew that voice. Why was Cade here? I’d told him I’d handle this.
“Fine. Get in here and say what you came to say. Then I want you out of my sight for the next twelve hours, do you hear me?” Zane turned sideways to usher a wide-eyed Cade through the doorway.
Cade stepped quickly until he placed himself between where I sat in the chair and the spot where Zane stood.
“Cade, what are you doing? It’s up to me to talk to Zane about everything.” I pleaded with my eyes that he get out of here.
“No, Ash, I’m sorry. But I heard some of what you guys said while I was standing outside the door. It started off pretty loud,” he explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
To Zane, he said, “I need you to listen to me, please, Coach.”
“Adding eavesdropping to your repertoire of misdeeds, Kelly?” Zane inquired, raising an eyebrow. His size and formidable presence were things he used now against Cade.
I bristled at the familiar posture from our years playing together, but kept my mouth shut, unable to deny Cade the chance to speak if he wanted to. Even if it created a bigger mess.
“Yeah, maybe I can be sorry about the snooping part tomorrow, Coach. But tonight, I need to apologize for what you saw in Ash’s room a little while ago.
It was all my fault. Aside from the fact that I should have come to you when something started with Ash, I knowingly went to his room tonight even though we’d agreed to keep our relationship separate from our hockey obligations. ”
“We both should have said something,” I interjected quietly.
I met Cade’s gaze in a mutual understanding of “thank fuck Hawkins and Kovac don’t live to gossip.”
Zane’s gaze remained unmoved, and his arms crossed. “Get on with it, Kelly.”
“Um, right. So, I promise you that neither of us wanted to cause you any trouble, for real, Coach. It was wrong of me to ask Ash not to say anything to you right away. I thought we could hide this until after the season, and Ash made his plans for next season. I was wrong about that too. I’m sorry for a lot of things.
But what I’m not sorry for is the relationship I have with Ash now.
I’m not going to get into it, but my whole hockey career, everyone’s been yapping at me to stop isolating myself from my teammates because I think I’m better than them.
But that’s not it at all. . .” Cade’s shoulders dropped, rounding in a defeated way.
Cade drew in a deep breath, keeping his eyes steady on Zane alone.
“I’m sure Ash said that he would quit coaching the Hammerheads for me.
But you can’t let him do that, Coach. The team needs him.
” He didn’t wait for Zane’s reaction before rushing to continue.
“More than that, I can’t let Ash give up his job for me to stay on the team because it would just make this whole lie even worse. ”
“What are you talking about?” Zane prompted.
“I don’t want to play hockey, sir. I’ve never thought I was better than anyone else.
I just didn’t want to bring anyone else down when I couldn’t fake all that ‘yay team spirit’ bullshit.
I mean, it’s great for people who feel that way about the team, but I can’t,” he backtracked.
“I did it because I accidentally had some skating talent as a kid, and one of the coaches said something to my dad about it. After that, it was a chain reaction of clinics, the juniors, and the OHL that just kept going until I ended up here. So, you see, Coach, you can’t take Ash away from the team when the guys need and respect him. ”
Cade crossed his arms over his chest protectively.
If I thought I loved him before this moment, the love I felt for him now embedded itself into my very DNA.
Zane had no idea about the amount of courage it would have taken to admit one of his deepest secrets that he’d been forced to keep all these years.
But I knew.
Not able to stand the short distance between us anymore, I got up and stood at Cade’s side.
“You both are giving me a migraine,” Zane rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Fuck, maybe it’s a stroke. Either way, I need you to get out of my sight. Go back to your separate rooms,” he scolded, as if we were errant teenagers to be disciplined.
“But Coach. . .” Cade tried again.
“Nope. Shut up. I’m done. What I should do is fire you both. And I will if you say another word, Rookie.” Zane’s expression had mostly softened again as he listened to Cade’s plea, but his voice remained firm. “Leave me alone until I figure out a plan, got it?”
I nodded in agreement. We’d left more than enough problems in Zane’s lap tonight. He didn’t need us eating into any more of his sleeping hours than we had already.
Not wanting to risk Cade martyring himself any further on my behalf, I threaded my fingers through his and pulled him out of Zane’s room before he could argue.
Whatever happened, we’d find a way to deal with it.