Chapter One.
Drake
The voices never quietened down. The images didn’t fade either, though they did change.
Calamity lay amongst the rubble, bleeding out.
All around, chaos reigned. Smoke billowed in the air from the explosions and the fire.
Blood came in spurts from Calamity’s neck.
The kid’s life force kept pouring out and staining the ground.
Klutz worked on him, clamping the vein, screaming instructions while I sat like a useless fool.
Calamity’s injury was on my head. He was barely an adult and in a fight that wasn’t his. It was none of theirs.
I turned and saw the bodies lying everywhere. Fang after Venomous Fang. How many of those were like me? Forced to fight when all they wished was to protect their families? How many had Fury blackmailed, bullied, and threatened to wage a war they wanted nothing to do with?
My gaze wandered over the bloody battlefield, because that’s what it was.
Rapid City resembled a scene from a movie or from a war-torn country.
Fires burned in buildings, thick plumes of smoke rose across the city, black and grey, showing where battles had been fought.
The scent of copper hung in the air from the amount of spilt blood.
Shocked, I turned back and gazed at Calamity as Klutz fought to save his life.
There was nothing I could do. I was useless here.
My brother was dying, the soul of the club, and I could only watch.
My hands clenched, and I stared at them; how much blood stained them?
How many lives? Would they ever get clean?
“Dad!” Serenity screamed, and I flinched and opened my eyes.
A shuddering breath escaped me as I realised I was in the gardens of Reading Hall. Thankfully, I wasn’t back in that hellhole fighting for my life.
Relief hit momentarily before guilt and shame washed over me.
A shiver ran down my spine that had nothing to do with the frigid air.
Everything was all my fault, the thought wormed its way into my brain, and I couldn’t argue.
The deaths were on my hands. I should have given Fury what he wanted—Rage MC.
A voice asked what the hell I was thinking, but my thoughts overruled it.
If Fury had taken Rage, then Grey would be alive.
Those cops would still be here. Zippy, too, and everyone else we’d lost.
Inglorious paid lip service to the fact he didn’t blame me, but he did.
I saw it in the Unwanted Bastard’s eyes.
He found it difficult to meet my gaze. At meetings for the Allies, Inglorious sat as far away as possible.
But his stare bored into me. I was responsible for the deaths of his brothers.
The voice in my head kept chipping away at my resolve.
Would my death make a difference? Why was I alive when they’d died? Jesus! I jumped to my feet and stalked off. My boots crunched on the thick snow that had fallen a few days ago. Maybe I should lie down and let the cold take me. They say freezing is an easy death.
I was tempted to try. It was what I deserved, after all.
Thanksgiving was soon, and I’d nothing to be thankful for.
I wasn’t grateful to be alive. Why the fuck didn’t I just give Fury the club?
That would have stopped him. The insidious thought kept running through my head as I stared out at the snow-covered trees.
A heavy snowfall at this time of year was unusual.
Was this also a sign? Was the universe telling me I shouldn’t be here? Somehow, I couldn’t disagree.
“Drake! God, you’re freezing. Come inside!” Phoe exclaimed. I turned and looked at her.
Phoe’s hair was pulled up messily into a rough ponytail. She appeared tired, with worry lines around her eyes. Phoe’s mouth was tight, another sign of being stressed. She was wrapped up warmly and carried my heavy leather coat.
“Put this on,” Phoe chided.
Stiffly, I reached out and took it. “Go inside, babe, it’s freezing out here.”
“But it’s okay for you without a jacket?
” Phoe retorted. I should have smiled. Phoe was being mouthy, but I didn’t have it in me.
In pure silence, I stared; there was a distance I couldn’t breach.
Did Phoe recognise the coward I was? Did the love of my life see the blood on my hands when she gazed at me?
“Drake?” Phoe whispered and stepped forward.
“Go inside. It’s too cold,” I ordered. Not for me, though. I welcomed the chill. Maybe if I stayed here long enough, I’d get ill.
“Ace says there’s a meeting tomorrow. Are you going?” Phoe asked.
“No, Ace can manage.”
“Drake, we’re worried—”
“Don’t be Phoe. I’m not worth the effort. If you don’t realise that, you will soon.”
“What has got into you, Drake? How can you say you’re unworthy of our concern?” Phoe demanded.
Listlessly, I shrugged. Phoe wanted answers I wouldn’t provide.
“Drake, please come in and talk to Ace or me,” Phoe pleaded.
“In a bit,” I said, staring at the treeline.
Phoe sighed and then walked away. I had to put distance between us, Phoe shouldn’t be stuck with me.
She was only forty-five—Phoe could easily get another husband.
Even though I knew deep in my heart that was the correct route, something inside screamed.
Told me I was wrong. But I wasn’t, and that voice needed silencing because it was stopping me from ending everything.
Belladonna
I flinched as the suffering tore at me; it was eviscerating, and I stumbled back, and Sapphire reached out and steadied me.
The level of emotion took my breath away, as did the surge of hostility that accompanied it.
Someone was in sheer agony, and it was so bad it was hitting me hard.
Shame landed next, twisted and digging deep, clawing its way into the person’s psyche.
It wasn’t insidious, but an outright assault.
Behind it was a sharp spear of hate, driving it deeper into the victim.
Hate ensured that guilt embedded itself alongside self-blame.
My knees began giving way as blindness took my sight, and I detected a silent, thin scream for help. Sanity remained, a sliver so minuscule it was almost invisible, but it struggled to be heard. I reached out even as Sapphire dropped beside me.
Desperately, I grasped that little light, so in danger of being snuffed out, and I sent energy to bolster that small flame.
In turn, I was attacked; hate flew towards me with a vengeance so strong I almost blacked out. Angrily, I fought back as it sought a way past my walls, and I cried out, grabbing my head.
The tiny piece of sanity screamed once more, and loathing raced to smother it. I sent everything I dared to shore it up before sudden silence fell. Hate had slammed the channel shut, and I’d lost the link.
“What the fuck happened?” Sapphire demanded as I opened my eyes and blinked. The world appeared too bright, and I closed them again.
“Someone is suffering, seriously hurting.”
“Who?”
“Don’t know. But God, the level of agony and self-recrimination was awful. I could taste it, Saph,” I replied.
“Can you get up?”
“Yeah. There was something else. A darkness.”
“Male?” Sapphire asked.
“Yes. The victim was definitely a guy, and he’s also important, but I couldn’t tell how. Everything around and inside him is about guilt and self-doubt. I felt like there was someone there, causing this and masking their presence. They’re deliberately making this person suffer,” I mused.
“Punishing them?”
“Yes. The more his target suffers, the more their power grows. The victim already experienced these feelings, but the perp is amplifying them with death as the end goal,” I muttered, remembering in oily black sensation of smugness.
“They’re strong,” Sapphire said, and I nodded. Worry bled from her. “What if they track you? Are they stronger than you?”
“No, I’ve had my powers for years. These feel new. But the hate is established, and the desire for blood is growing. Whoever the target is, Sapphire, they have my heartfelt sympathy.”
“What you’re saying is scary shit,” Sapphire stated, and I laughed. Talk about an understatement.
“Yeah. I’ll need to keep my walls up. If the attacker psychically hits me, I’ll know about it!”
Sapphire nodded, but the expression of concern on her face didn’t fade. “Can we track either?”
“No. I didn’t get that clear a reading. If I do, I’ll tell you.”
“Make sure you do,” Sapphire ordered.
“Saph! Bozo’s here!” Dagger yelled.
Sapphire sighed as I grinned. “Wait for it.”
“Three, two, one…” I counted.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ cut your balls off!” Dagger shrieked. Hayden Wylde had scored a point off Dagger.
Sapphire shook her head. “If those two stopped fighting for a minute, it would be a miracle.”
“I want pork for dinner!” Blade yelled, backing her twin up.
“Oink, oink, I smell something stinky,” Hayden retorted. “Smells fishy in here!”
Blade screeched, and I couldn’t hide my grin.
Sapphire’s man, Wylde, was a detective. Who the hell thought she’d have fallen for a cop?
No one. But Sapphire had. Wylde had believed we were dirty at the beginning, and he’d had us under surveillance.
But things had happened which changed his mind, and now Wylde was happily shacked up with Sapphire.
Alongside their bliss came the insults from the sisters and himself, as Wylde found his footing.
“Put the fuckin’ knife down, Blade, or I’ll shoot your kneecaps out,” Wylde threatened.
“Catch you in a bit,” Sapphire said as she stalked towards the rec room.
“Have fun,” I called, and then sagged against the wall. I hadn’t wanted to show Sapphire how much that brief contact had drained me, but it had. Slowly, I began making my way to my bunk. I needed rest.
Phoe