Chapter 18
Eighteen
My aura flinches and everyone in the room feels it. Jullia behind me chokes and I can feel Asher tensing the entirety of his body as he freezes in place.
Both of them were looking directly at her, just as I was. I know their eyes were on her, just as mine were. She had just stood up and rolled out her neck and shoulders. Her little skirt showing off her long legs covered in scars and fucking bitemarks.
She had been thinking about something. I could hear her mind working even though I couldn’t hear her thoughts. Then something happened. She had thought something and then she turned to ash.
Pieces are floating where her body had just been standing.
No fire, no explosion, no aura, no remnants of a spell or curse. She had been standing here, fine, trying to ignore me, being a brat, and then. . . nothing.
“Where. . . “ A choked sob escapes Jullia. “She – I. . . where?”
None of us move as we stay frozen watching ash continue to float. Logical thoughts aren’t processing because she was here. She was fine. The sun isn’t even fucking up yet so there’s no way. . . there’s no. . .
SHE’S GONE!
I ram in every shield and barrier and wall of Varian’s mind. I don’t make it all the way, but it’s enough that me roaring those two words through he’s able to still hear them.
His thoughts are moving as he opens up the last of this shields to let me in. I’m greeted by his confusion, though it’s muted.
Callahan I can’t –
She’s gone. I now whisper. A breath of a thought barely tangible. I had been looking straight at her, I didn’t even blink, and now there’s only ashes. Varian. I croak. Something inside me is cracking. That thing is peering through the fractures of myself. She’s gone.
My senses are trapped within. I can’t process what is happening around me.
What the water mage and vampyr say or do.
I only see ashes. There’s not even a scent.
Her berry and floral scent had been muted in the bathroom and even when we were sitting across from each other.
But it was still there. I could still scent her.
Now there’s nothing. Not even the ash gives off a smell.
For weeks I had been memorizing her. Strengthening my magic and senses and abilities. Sharpening them to the point where I could feel when she entered a room without looking. I could smell her blood and the poison within even when she was across the room.
I knew when she wanted to counter an answer given in class by the way her eyes fluttered and her top lip twitched. Or when she wanted to roll her eyes at something, she would cast them to the side and they would fluctuate to a darker shade of pink.
I know she eats steamed vegetables with every meal and she doesn’t like black beans or tomatoes or mushrooms. She always keeps her back straight when she walks and will only slouch when she’s sitting.
She always has her school work finished before the deadline and she almost always has her wired earbuds in even when she isn’t listening to music.
A song called You Again is the one she listens to the most out of the hundreds of songs she has.
She’ll take her time walking to classes to pet the stray cats around campus and she will let long legged spiders rest on the top of her head throughout the day.
Creatures always seeming to follow her and she grants them all a kindness, soft and gentle, no matter how ugly or dangerous or inconsequential they are.
It’s a kindness she gives with abandon to Jullia and Asher and Hanna.
She is everything.
An obsession I can’t cure no matter how much I work out, how much I train and spar, how much I fuck every other girl willing.
Not that I will fuck them all. Only the ones with dark hair and soft skin.
Only the ones that have some sort of semblance to her.
Because even then she consumes every thought, every action.
And she is gone.
Something – a presence – weighs on my shoulders. A strong energy surrounds me and it makes the ashes flutter.
No.
They scatter in the air. Floating over to her bed and on top of her shoes.
She can’t be gone.
There’s another crack.
No one has ever been able to contain my true devil like she had. My mother had been able to do it the fastest. Then Thorne was able to push it back and keep me sane. But her. . . she didn’t even do anything. She only said my name and that thing wanted to submit. It wanted her.
Then she had snapped at me as if she had already known it wouldn’t hurt her.
It wants her now. It won’t accept that she’s gone. It won’t accept that she could be. . .
Another crack.
Callahan.
But it doesn’t sound like her. My memory cannot capture her exact voice, her exact tone, her exact pitch. It’s a second rate copycat and that thing does not accept it.
It needs her.
I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her.
I need. . .
I. . .
Mavyn. It whispers. It has never spoken before. Mavyn.