Chapter 20
Twenty
My bones ache. My muscles, joints, skin – my blood aches as it steadily flows through my veins. My heart even with its beats as I force myself to stay relaxed. It had gone on for longer this time. The nightmare lasting for more than just feeling like an eternity.
I wonder if that flower had anything to do with it being different. Roi sanivin doesn’t exist anymore, so I wonder why it appeared in my nightmare cage.
That, however, will need to be a thought I think about later. Right now I need to focus on the four celestials crowding my room. Two of which have seen my scars, and all of them I’m sure are wondering what exactly has happened.
Normally it doesn’t last this long. From the looks of it I couldn’t have been gone for that long in that realm.
Jullia and Asher are still here, same as Callahan.
Though now Professor Asier is here too. Him and Thorne and Professor D’etre.
The former who’s looking at me like he wants to rip every secret out of my head.
I don’t think I have to worry about him telling everyone else about my scars because of my threat.
The Mage Board is strict about those kinds of things.
However, my secret of what just happened is something I can’t just pretend didn’t happen. At least the celestials won’t let me.
Placing my hands on my hips, I arch a brow and squint at the celestials standing.
Callahan is still on his knees where he had been hugging me.
There’s a tug I feel wanting to pull me towards him.
I don’t understand what it is or why it wants me to go to him, but I also wish he would stop crying because for some reason I don’t want to see him in pain.
What. The. Fuck.
Shaking that thought away, I point my stare to the ones standing. “Why are you in my dorm room?”
Professor D’etre and Thorne are staring at me like I have a second head while Professor Asier is still glaring at me. Thorne is the first to mask his face as he quickly glances behind me where I’m sure ashes are still drifting.
I thought they would have disappeared by now, but maybe they’re lingering because of how long I was kept.
Capturing our attention, Thorne states, “You owe us an explanation.”
States – like a goddamn demand.
“I owe you?” I question, my voice dropping with a predators viciousness.
The entirety of my body, mind, spirit, and soul ache. I have just been subjected to a type of torture that mars your astral body. Scars shouldn’t be able to appear on one’s spirit or soul, but apparently I’m just different.
“I. Owe. You. Nothing.” Each word punctuated with forced fury. I am too tired to spar in any sense but I will also not allow these men to control me. They will not demand anything of me. I will not –
“You owe me,” a quiet voice murmurs.
Dark eyes focused on me and those three words hit with a force they shouldn’t have. The truth of them ring out into the room and I drop my hands from my hips to curl them into fists. To dig my nails into my palms.
Professor D’etre swallows and relaxes his stance. “You said you owe me. A price for allowing you to drink my blood.”
Oh how I wish I could turn back time. How I wish I could have just starved or passed out or literally anything other than plunging my fangs into his neck.
“Tell us what happened,” he continues, “and then we’ll be even.”
What a twisted fucking price.
Still. . . of all the things he could have asked for. Of all the things I could have given him instead. It makes the corner of my lip curl up before I can stop it.
Blowing out a breath, I release my fists and drop my shoulders. Turning to look behind me, I watch the last of the ashes float before eventually disappearing like smoke.
“Well. . . “ I begin. Turning back to them I wonder if they’ll even actually believe me. “Have you ever heard of the sun death realm?”
Callahan stands and wipes his face. Finally he stopped crying. Shifting towards me but not making a move to touch me again. He had moved my clothes so his head and arms in his short sleeve shirt didn’t touch me. I wonder if he knows a way to make it so he can touch my skin without harming me.
He waits patiently for me to continue, brow furrowed in confusion and unknowing about the realm. Thorne’s face morphs into a similar expression though it’s tinged with suspicion. Professor Asier is still glaring at me, though his eyes flicker with questions and curiosity.
Only one person in the room hesitates with their expression. A second too late showing their confusion or curiosity or unknowingness.
I lock eyes with darkness. Golden-brown hair mussed, probably from sleep, with olive skin and gold streaking through the color.
I have no idea if they are his actual veins or scars or tattoos, but they’re striking.
A fitting aesthetic for a demigod. A demigod who can shapeshift into any creature or beast, a demigod who is a spy and has traveled to other universes, worlds, and realms.
The body doesn’t lie.
His nearly black eyes don’t waver as I continue staring at him. He doesn’t waver. Fine.
“It’s. . . for lack of better words, a nightmare realm.
” Turning to the others, I wave my hand behind me.
“Just as there are some who can make their dreams reality, sometimes nightmares become it instead. Although, instead of this plane becoming the reality, you are moved to the reality where the nightmare is. This being the sun death realm. That’s where I was. ”
Silence greets me.
“Why?” Callahan’s voice is scratchy. Probably from all the crying. “Why does it happen? Why do you go there?”
Technically I could say this wasn’t part of the deal. I answered the question. I said what happened, I was in the sun death realm. The how and why weren’t part of the question.
But. . .
Golden eyes tug at something and I want to answer him. I want to ease him – not that the answer will do that for him. Sometimes it’s better to stay ignorant. At times I wish I still was.
Shifting my weight from foot to foot, I look anywhere but at them.
This new feeling of something towards Callahan, I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the fact that his eyes and aura were the last thing I had seen before all I knew was pain.
It still lingers in fantom ripples through my body.
Not that you’ll see a scar or mark or anything letting you know it.
Afterall, it may have been another realm but it is still just a nightmare.
A twisted psychological game because it’s technically all in your head and yet your physical body and spirit and soul are still there experiencing everything.
Sighing, I roll out my neck again and hold in my groan. Today is going to be a long day.
Shrugging, I gesture to nothing. “I don’t know.” You can hear the exhaustion in my voice. “It’s probably a rem – “
I abruptly stop as I snap my eyes up to Professor Asier, D’etre, and Thorne before over to Callahan. My heart trips a beat and I force it to be steady instead of racing like it wants to. I almost just said it’s probably a remanent of my curse, but I had only told Callahan about that.
“I don’t know,” I repeat, giving Callahan a look that says he will understand. My tone clipped and my words final.
Thorne’s face twists into a look of distain as he slides his hands into his pockets. Then there’s a nearly audible crack and the room fills with the scent of metallic blood and ozone before he straight up disappears.
It shocks me for a moment. I’ve seen Rosemary and Nana fold before – a type of portaling where they open an invisible door into what’s called the fold, a place in between existence and time and space, and then they open another door within that leads to their destination.
I’ve also seen Cordellia create elemental portals from water – though they can be created from any of the elements.
But that.
The smallest wisping of opaque black and gray twist for a moment before disappearing too. It all happened too fast. I’ve never seen someone shadow twist before.
A type of portaling that aligns with whatever your magic is and flows with your aura. The scent that’s left behind is like a calling card of sorts. It’s the scent of your aura. And his smells like blood and thunder.
Blood and thunder.
It smells a lot like freedom and peace.
But I shake that random, bullshit thought from my mind and look over to the professors. One who’s holding onto his feigned confusion and curiosity, though now bordering on suspicion. And the other who’s now just blatantly glaring.
He shifts and pulls his arms up to cross in front of his chest. They stretch out the white button up he’s currently wearing and I most certainly do not look at the way his muscles bulge. Because that would be inappropriate, and he gets off on runes, and he’s not my type anyway.
What a fucking load of shit, the damned man could be anyone’s type.
But that’s not the point.
I mirror his stance, not wavering or breaking eye contact because I’m sure he’s going to say something and when speaking directly to me I make sure to look at him. Per his demand, of course.
Pompous asshole.
He arches a brow and rumbles out, “Want to try saying that out loud?”
I tighten every hold of my shields within. Like trying to wrap a blanket around yourself, grabbing every corner and edge still you’re cocooned in a ball.
That’s how you know I’m really tired. My shields start teetering and minute thoughts slip out.
“Say what?” I test. He glowers harder. I roll my eyes, then I face Professor D’etre. “I answered your question. We’re even now. Everyone is fine, we all have to get to our classes soon, you can leave.”
He looks over to the devil I’m clearly ignoring and then hesitantly nods towards me before shifting towards the door.
Professor Asier is still glaring at me – his gold ringed red eyes feeling like a furnace on the side of my head.
But eventually, after the world’s longest minute, he concedes and stomps over to the door.
Both professors leave and I exhale a breath I had been holding.
I take a blind step back and then crash down onto my bed. Three separate bodies move towards me but I hold my hand up.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I start, my voice sounding a bit far away. It took so much strength, more than I should have used, to stay upright and strong. Even holding my hand up shakes with strain. I drop it immediately. “It’s never happened before when I was awake. I didn’t think. . . “
God, I’m so tired.
How was I able to stand for so long? How was I able to sound so confident and self-assured?
I can feel pressure on my physical body, but it’s like my mind is under water. Voices speak but I can’t hear the words. I just need sleep, I think. I need to rest after all the shit that happened. Marks are never left, but my body remembers anyway.
Sleep, my body tells me. My mind, my conscious, my spirit. You have been through enough.
Ahh, and yet it’s never enough.
Someone says my name. A voice that makes it past the barrier of water that’s clouding the other sounds. It almost sounds like a prayer on their lips, a begging to be believed. My name. A wishing to be remembered.
Oh, you poor ancient right of divinity. How far you have fallen from your throne of righteousness.
As long as something has one of the five pillars of structure they can be killed.
Bone – which symbolizes the body – Breath – which symbolizes the spirit and/or soul – Stone – which symbolizes the mind – Wood – which symbolizes the balances of nature – and Blood – which was the first physical sign of life created.
Which means it was always possible to kill the gods. You just had to know how to do it. Not that they’d let you remember. There’s a reason history gets twisted even with beings who can live for thousands of years.
He says it again. My name.
Then I sleep.