Chapter Sixteen
Sadie
A week ago, retaining boundaries with the men in my life had been difficult.
Clingy men are a dime a dozen, and seemingly no amount of reminders that I’m not interested in a serious, monogamous relationship would penetrate their thick skulls.
The media is full of liars, because in my experience, men are much less capable of maintaining a successful no-strings-attached relationship than women.
Now, however, I’m starting to feel like a cliche in the needy girl department. Not one but two men are dodging my contact attempts.
Bowie is understandable. He’s the leader of a gang who caught me in a pretty damning lie.
After waiting twenty-four hours, I hesitantly sent him a text last night asking for an explanation, hinting that I talked to June.
I didn’t, of course, but I would’ve if I was just an innocent bystander in all of this.
He hasn’t replied, which might be a good thing.
Maybe it’s time to give up this entire plan and call it a bust.
My stomach churns at the thought, a feeling that annoyingly brings to mind the other man set on ignoring my existence.
James came to me on Friday asking for a favor.
He stuck around only long enough to explain what he needed and hear about my date with Bowie.
I haven’t heard from him since. Maple agreed to help, muttering something about practically being on the Saints’ payroll now.
She doesn’t have the C.I.’s name yet, but she found other interesting information I’d happily tell James if he’d answer my fucking texts and calls.
The feeling of being a discarded nuisance has returned to my gut with nauseating strength.
I swore years ago I’d never be this girl again, and the fact that an asshole off-brand Yosemite Sam in a scuffed leather jacket is turning me into her pisses me off.
If he was done with me, he could at least have the decency to grow a pair and tell me himself.
“Who’s watching Soot this weekend?” June asks, pulling me from my thoughts. She’s sitting cross-legged in front of the mirror on my bedroom door, leaning forward to apply a flawless eyeliner wing.
“Luna.” Since Rose is allergic to dogs and both June and Evelyn are coming home with me for my birthday visit this weekend, I was out of dog sitter options. Luna was happy to oblige, especially when I told her she could have my apartment to herself for the long weekend.
“Thanks for coming with me, by the way.” I’ve thanked her before, but I want there to be no room in her head to question who this is for.
If she thinks for a moment that I asked her to visit my family with me solely to get her out of the state and away from the danger that is the South Five, she’d cancel her plane ticket faster than I could blink.
So, I’m laying on the “I don’t want to go home alone” act thick.
Evelyn agreeing to come has definitely helped. I’m also hopeful this little vacation will start healing the crack that’s formed between my two friends.
“I’m excited to see the Oliver crew again. And to meet Reese.”
“He’s an adorable, chunky little thing. Much happier than Forrest was as a baby.”
We talk about my nephews for a little bit longer while we finish getting ready.
June glows, and I know she’s excited to go out, but I don’t think that’s the cause of her good mood.
When she arrived at my house this afternoon, I could tell something was different, like she just spent a week at the spa.
The reality behind her good mood is probably much bloodier.
I want to ask about it, but I don’t think she’s ready to share details yet.
I also know that her excitement right now has nothing to do with going out and everything to do with where we’re going.
She’s never liked bars and clubs, but I barely have to suggest a trip to the Iron Cage for her to agree.
It’s not quite the type of establishment I’m used to, but I enjoy most of the people, and there’s less pressure to perform.
At the Cage, I can have fun and not worry about what people think or what might happen to me if I drink too much.
It might seem counterintuitive to feel so safe at a notorious biker bar, but I do.
Theo runs a tight ship with the Saints, and no one would dare hurt June’s best friend, not after they’ve seen what she’s capable of.
“One of these days, we’ll get Rose and Evelyn to come with us,” I say, kissing Soot on his giant head before following June from my apartment.
“Ha. The day Ev comes with us to a biker bar is the day Rose turns straight and starts going to church.”
“Give her more credit. Ev is just cautious. As she should be.”
June waits while I lock the front door, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “When is Shane getting out of prison?”
“Not sure. He’s up for parole soon, though.
Apparently, the prosecutors asked Evelyn to testify at his parole hearing.
” Shane, Evelyn’s sister’s drug-dealing asshole of an ex-boyfriend, has been in prison for nearly twelve years, largely due to Ev’s testimony during the original trial.
She hasn’t talked to me about his possible early release beyond telling me about the parole hearing, but I can tell the idea is terrifying to her.
I don’t blame her. Shane probably blames her for the past decade of his life being wasted behind bars, and he may decide to use his freedom to get revenge.
Not that he’d get far. Anyone who wants to hurt Evelyn Ambrose will have to go through me and June. They may be in a cold war-like fight, but June would still happily take a man apart before he touched one of her friends.
And Ev may not approve of June’s choices of criminal friends, but one thing is certain: an enemy of June is an enemy of Theo, and by extension, the entire Saints of Purgatory crew.
If Shane has delusions of revenge, then he’s in for a rude awakening.
“Is she going?” June asks. There’s a hint of pain in the question, and I know it hurts her that Evelyn hasn’t talked to her about any of this.
“She hasn’t decided. I think she could use some advice. From someone who may have a bit more experience with dangerous family, or family-adjacent, members.”
“Like Rose?”
I roll my eyes and shove June’s shoulder. “Like you, asshole. You two have more in common than you think.”
She scoffs and doesn’t reply until we’re in the car, doors shut behind us. “I think we have one very big thing not in common. You know, of the Meyers variety.”
“You’re more than your hobbies, June.”
“Sure.”
The conversation tapers off there, turning to lighter topics. When we arrive, I’m pleased to see a long line of bikes out front, including a certain solid black Harley.
Perfect. James’s little ghosting act is about to be brought to a screeching halt.
The first person to greet us inside is Benny.
He’s wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses and a black T with a low neckline, showing off the intricate tattoos that stop directly under his chin.
He’s my age, maybe a year older, so not the oldest Saint by far, but I think he rivals Theo with having the most ink out of all of them.
He hugs us, and we walk to the bar.
“He won’t just let this go,” Bella, a Saint and Iron Cage bartender, says to a guy sitting at the bar. “He’ll want revenge.”
“Against who? Cops have no idea what happened.”
“Bowie won’t care. He’ll dole out his own judgement to whoever he decides is the guilty party.”
“What’s going on?” I ask Benny.
“Fiver troubles. Hector Barnes, the warden at the prison where most of the Fivers are, disappeared on Saturday.”
“What happened?”
“Officially? No one knows. Unofficially? James and Matthew got rid of him.”
I ask for details, but Benny doesn’t have them.
What I do know is that James did something without me. It sounds like it was dangerous, and he wouldn’t have taken me on an assassination mission, but he could have at least told me. We agreed to help each other, and he didn’t give me the option to even try.
Annoyed, I finish my drink in one gulp and set the empty glass on the bar top. “Want to dance?” I ask.
“I just got my drink,” June says, gesturing to her full glass.
“Translation, she’s waiting for the boss to finish his meeting so she can jump his bones,” Luna says from behind me.
I turn around, feeling slightly lighter at the sight of her. She gives me a wink, ignoring June’s feigned indignation.
“But I’m happy to dance,” Luna says.
“Me too,” Benny says. “Let’s go.”
I follow them to the middle of the room and start twisting my body to the beat, hoping the sweat building on my back will help drown out the irritating feelings growing in my stomach. No guy is worth ruining a good mood.
A handful of songs pass before June finally joins us, though her attention keeps drifting to the hallway leading to the offices.
I know the instant Theo makes his appearance, because June brightens and she says she’ll be right back, then takes off.
I watch as she jumps into Theo’s arms and presses a kiss to his lips.
His hands hold her ass in a nauseating display of affection.
Thankfully, he turns and carries her out of sight.
“I’ll never get used to seeing that,” Benny says.
“Seeing what?” I ask. “Your boss feeling a woman up?”
“Our boss in love,” Luna corrects. “And all protective like the anti-heroes in the romance novels.”
“He deserves it,” Benny says. “It’s just weird seeing it.”
“I get what you mean. June and I have been best friends for nearly six years, and I’ve never seen her with a boyfriend.”
Luna’s reply doesn’t register, because the next second, I see a man fill the space Theo recently vacated. Green eyes scan the room like a headmaster looking for delinquent children. Once they find me, his shoulders pull back and his expression hardens.
Holding my breath, I wait for him to walk over or motion for me to go to him. I’d even settle for him ignoring me in favor of going to the bar or giving his attention to some other unlucky soul.
But he does something much worse.
He frowns, turns around, and leaves.
He runs.
Albeit slowly and with his dignity intact, but he still runs.
“What the fuck?”
Luna and Benny both look at me with confusion, but I don’t offer an explanation. Anger has replaced every other uncomfortable emotion. I’m sick and fucking tired of being so easily discarded by the men of this shithole world.
Knowing I should let him go because he clearly doesn’t want my company, I launch forward, following him out of the bar. Each step is heavy and filled with years of issues that my old therapist tried to help me work through before I gave up in favor of helping other women get their revenge.
I catch him next to his bike just as he’s pulling his helmet on.
“What the fuck, Weasley?”
He freezes, like trying to decide whether he should ignore me and ride away anyway or not be the dickhead he’s pretending to be. Finally, he makes the correct decision and lowers the helmet, turning to face me.
“What?”
My mouth falls open in shock. “Seriously? You’ve been dodging me for two days, and you were about to run away like a fucking coward. What’s going on?”
“I haven't been dodging you. I’ve been busy.”
“You’re a better liar than that, Pinocchio,” I say. Usually, his poker face is immaculate, but I think the most gullible person on earth would’ve been able to see through that lie.
“I have a life, Sadie. Sorry I haven’t dropped everything to reply to one of your many texts in the last forty-eight hours.”
“Don’t pretend like I’m being a clingy girlfriend. You’re ghosting me right after asking for my help. What possibly changed between Friday and Saturday?”
Something indescribable fills his eyes, and I wish I could read his mind, because there’s an entire book of backstory there that I bet no one has ever read.
“In case you forgot, I’m the vice president of a club on the verge of a gang war.”
“That I’m trying to help you stop!”
“Maybe I don’t need your help anymore!”
I’m so shocked he raised his voice that any reply vanishes from my tongue. I blink, and he drags a hand down his face.
“I’m sorry. I just… I can’t have you always trying to butt in. It’s distracting. I don’t have the luxury of being distracted right now.”
“I thought we were partners in this.”
“We’re not.”
“But—”
“No, Sadie,” he interrupts. “Drop it. Stop texting me. Stop calling me. And stop trying to date Bowie. You’re in over your head. All you’re going to do is get yourself or someone else killed, and I don’t have the time to deal with another body.”
I desperately attempt to blink away the sting his words cause.
I will not let another man make me cry. Not in this life.
“And I don’t need you to talk to Maple for me. I’m sorry I asked in the first place.”
I don’t understand, I want to say. But the words don’t pass my lips. Confusion and hurt keep my vocal chords from rubbing together.
“Go home and forget about your attempt at playing spy. Stick to your plants and leave the dangerous shit to us. Stop trying to be June.”
That last sentence is heavier and sharper than any other. I don’t have the cognitive capacity to figure out why right now, but it feels like a physical spear in the center of my chest.
Tears fill my eyes. Any second one of them will fall.
He will not see me cry over him.
I swallow hard and miraculously manage two words. “Fuck you.”
Then I turn around and walk away. Theo will give June a ride later. Right now, I need to get out of here before the first tear falls.