Chapter 12 – Ramona
Chapter Twelve
Ramona
“ C ould you’ve tried to be a little more subtle, Ma?” I whisper as I wait for the door to shut behind me.
I knew Ma would know I was home from the notification she got from the cameras, but I didn’t think she’d come outside. Her stories are on, for goodness’ sake. She doesn’t move for her stories. I should’ve known the moment she saw the unfamiliar vehicle pulling into the driveway behind me, she was going to come outside. My mom is nosy as hell. Her need to know everything that’s going on with everyone overrides everything. Besides, she’d never miss an opportunity to embarrass the shit out of me.
“I was subtle. I could’ve told him that Alise and I concocted this whole thing to make sure you had a memorable birthday. You only turn twenty-four once.”
I knew it was strange that Ma was sitting in the house fully dressed and ready with a full face of makeup on the off chance that someone might come by. She isn’t picking up Darius from school today because he’s going to a friend’s house after school. It’s a house clothes day, for sure.
“You two did all of this? On purpose?” I don’t know why I even bother to ask. I swear those two live to meddle in other people’s lives, especially mine. They mean well, but forcing Cooper and me to spend more time together isn’t any type of guarantee that something will happen. Sometimes it’s best to just leave well enough alone.
“Of course, we did. We both knew you wouldn’t act on whatever your feelings are for Cooper. It was either this or inviting him to the cookout next month to celebrate with you and Darius. Honestly, I might do that anyway.”
“Please don’t.”
Subjecting Cooper to my entire family isn’t on my list of favorite things. We have a cookout every year to celebrate my and Darius’s birthdays since they’re only a few weeks apart. And my family is a lot, to say the least. Auntie Phylicia still isn’t speaking to Ma after last year’s cookout. It took both of my uncles and a few of my cousins to keep them from scratching each other’s eyes out. A carefully orchestrated lunch date is a much better option.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t have feelings for Cooper.”
Okay, that’s not completely a lie. Am I attracted to Cooper? Of course, I am. Any woman within a ten-mile radius of that smile would be, but that doesn’t equate to feelings.
“Yes, you do. How did Alise put it? You were eye-fucking him during practice last night. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but you don’t look at a man like that for any amount of time and not feel anything.”
“First off, Ma, never say eye-fucking again.” I cringe slightly as I help her take a seat in her spot on the couch. “Second, just because I find a man attractive doesn’t mean anything. He has to be attracted to me, as well, at the minimum.”
“Oh, he’s attracted to you. I’d bet a fully cooked soul food dinner on it.” Ma smiles, grabbing the remote from the end table and turning on the television.
“Ma, you know you shouldn’t be eating all that.” Ma is still in surprisingly good health for her age, but that could be because I watch what we all eat.
“My doctor said that I can eat whatever I want in moderation. Consider this a special occasion.”
I think about it for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of being stuck in the kitchen for an entire day, making cornbread from scratch, because that’s the only way to do it, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, and collard greens because it’s not a soul food dinner without greens. I have a few new recipes in my notebook I’d love to test, and Ma makes a good taste tester. She doesn’t hold her punches, ever.
“Okay, fine, but when I win, you’re making me fried okra. No one makes it like you, Ma.”
“Damn straight, they don’t. But you got yourself a deal, baby girl.” She holds her hand out, and I grip it tightly in mine, giving it a firm shake. “Now, quit stalling and go have lunch with your man.”
“He isn’t… Never mind. Bye, Ma. Love you.”
“Love you, too, baby girl. And happy birthday.”
I plant a kiss on the top of her head before turning to head for the door. I hesitate before opening it. It would only take a few more minutes to change before heading to lunch. Cooper has been waiting this long. What’s a few more minutes?
Decision made. I turn to head toward the other side of the house when there’s a soft knock on the door. I guess my time is up. I open the door and find Cooper standing on the porch. His hands are tucked into his jeans pockets. The sleeves of his Henley are pushed up slightly, and he has tattoos. The left arm has intricately detailed feathers wrapping around the inside of his forearm. On the right, there’s a gorgeously scripted ever peeking out from beneath his shirt. Forearm porn for the win. I really need to find something unattractive about this man, or I’m liable to do something potentially idiotic.
“I don’t mean to rush you, but we have someplace to be.”
“We do? I was just planning on heading to Nosh & Nostalgia to grab a sandwich or something before my shift at The Pit Stop later tonight.”
“Oh, Lord.” He chuckles, pulling the door open and ushering me out. “Is there any way to find someone who could cover your shift? No one should work on their birthday.”
I could lie to him and tell him no, but there’s something in his eyes that has me hesitating. He looks so excited and hopeful, and a part of me wants to know what he has in store for us today. He couldn’t have set up anything too extravagant in such a short amount of time.
I head down the stairs toward our vehicles, not bothering to turn around before answering his question. “Lucky for us, Alise already took care of that. Someone is covering my shift for tonight and tomorrow night.”
Cooper grasps my wrist, spinning me around. “Hmm, does that mean I get your full, undivided attention for two whole days?”
Cooper steps closer, leaving only a few inches of space between us. His scent surrounds me, clouding my senses for what seems like the millionth time. It wouldn’t take much of an effort to raise up on my toes and press my lips against his. His body is leaning toward me like a moth drawn to the flame. I know he wouldn’t push me away. The problem is, once I take that step, there’s no going back. So, instead of taking a leap of faith, I press my hand against his chest, dropping my forehead on it and breaking the spell.
He sighs loudly, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. I sag into his arms. “Sorry,” I mumble into his chest, not really sure what I’m apologizing for honestly.
“You never have to apologize to me, Beauty.” He releases my waist and takes a step back, but not before grabbing both of my hands. “It’s your birthday. Whatever you say goes.” He winks at me before leaning forward and planting a kiss on my forehead.
“So if I say I want to head to Nosh & Nostalgia?”
“Anything but that.” He chuckles, pulling me toward his car. “Your chariot awaits, milady.”
My lips curve up in a smile as I climb into his truck with a little more effort than I’d like to admit. Thank goodness for the running boards, or I would’ve had to make a running leap to get inside. Once I’m seated, Cooper reaches for the seat belt and pulls it over my lap before tucking me in.
“I could do that myself, you know.”
“I know, but you’re precious cargo, Beauty. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to you on my watch.” He closes the door softly before heading over to the driver’s side of the car.
Oh. My. God. Is he for real? I haven’t been on a date in years, but I don’t remember anyone treating me like I could break at any moment. I need to remember that this is nothing more than lunch between two people who share a friend who loves to meddle. More importantly, this is not a date. No matter how much a tiny part of me wants to pretend it is.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask as Cooper slides into the driver’s seat and eases his truck away from my house.
“Of course not. What kind of birthday surprise would it be if you knew where we were going?”
“You really don’t have to do all of this, Cooper. I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything by telling you it was my birthday. If I wasn’t so flustered, I’d never have said anything about it at all. It’s no big deal, honestly.”
“I fluster you?”
Out of everything I just said, that’s what he fixates on? I don’t know whether I want to smack him or kiss him right now. Probably both, but neither is happening while he’s driving me wherever we’re going.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
I narrow my eyes at him as the corner of his mouth pulls up. He’s enjoying this a little too much. I could tell him no again, but I have a feeling he won’t let this go until I admit it. I wiggle slightly in my seat, trying to think of the best way to answer him without showing him all my cards.
“Okay, maybe a little.”
“Only a little?”
“Don’t push it, Hendrix.”
Cooper chuckles as he eases his truck onto I-5 North, toward Portland. So we’re going into the city, which makes perfect sense. Portland is where Cooper spends most of his time. I pick a wayward piece of lint off my pants before pulling my bottom lip into my mouth. I’m not really dressed for a fancy restaurant in the city, but neither is Cooper. But I doubt it matters for him at all. People are likely bending over backward, begging him to be seen at their restaurant, so he can get away with anything. But I doubt I’ll be afforded the same luxury.
“You can relax, Beauty.” Cooper glances at me for a moment before reaching down and grabbing my hand, bringing it to his mouth, and planting a kiss on the inside of my wrist. “You look beautiful.”
I try to pull my hand away, but he threads his fingers through mine and rests our hands on the center console between us. “You know what my name is, correct?”
“I do, but I told you I prefer Beauty.”
I roll my eyes, knowing it is useless to correct him again. If he wants to call me something other than my name, he can have at it. I may or may not actually mind that he does it. “You sure you don’t want to at least give me a hint about where we’re going?”
“Positive.”
I huff, trying to think of the best way to at least convince him to give me a hint about where we are going. Not knowing things makes me nervous. Not so much nervous as I feel out of control. Some people would describe me as a control freak, but it’s more than that.
For the last six years, I’ve had to meticulously plan every aspect of my life to revolve around Darius and Ma. Doctor’s appointments, school breaks, parent-teacher conferences… If something needs to get done, it’s my responsibility to make sure everyone is where they need to be, on time and with everything they need. If you ask my therapist, she’d say it’s rooted in my fear of uncertainty and the desire for predictability in my life after a tragic event. She’s right, of course, but I’ve yet to tell her that.
“I hate surprises.”
“Define hate?” Cooper squeezes my hand slightly, his eye remaining focused on the road in front of him.
I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is what my therapist would call an opportunity to share my vulnerabilities with Cooper to strengthen our budding relationship, but do I really want to do that? I met Cooper a little over twenty-four hours ago. I admit I like him a lot more than I should, and if I want to have any chance of there being another non-date between the two of us, word-vomiting all my neurospicy tendencies on him during the first date isn’t the best idea.
“As in despise. Loathe. Would rather never have to deal with them.” I shrug, attempting to hide the tension in my muscles. “You could say I’m kind of a control freak.”
I wasn’t planning on just coming out and saying that, but it gets the point across. I have plenty of other mental things I deal with that are much harder to swallow than my need for control.
“We’re going to have lunch at one of my favorite spots in the city. Nothing too fancy.” Cooper peeks at me from the corner of his eye and smiles. “Is that enough information to appease your inner control freak?”
“Yeah, thanks.” I shake my head, turning my attention out the window.
We drive in silence for a while, but not the annoying kind people feel the need to fill. This is something comfortable, something that I haven’t had for a while. Usually, my mind is racing with everyone’s schedule and a detailed list of everything that needs to get done during the day or even the entire week. For the first time in years, my mind has been quiet. And Cooper is the person who gave that to me. No matter how this, whatever it is, turns out, I’ll always be thankful to him for giving me this. It’s the best birthday present I could’ve asked for, the one I needed the most.
“Why so quiet, Beauty?”
“Umm, because it’s nice?” I respond with a shrug. “I don’t have much time to just sit in silence. I’m always moving or making sure Ma and Darius have everything they need.”
“I can understand that. I’m the same way, taking care of Momma and my brothers.” If I wasn’t watching him, I wouldn’t have noticed him wince as if someone slapped him before he continued speaking. “But now that my brothers can take care of themselves, I have my teammates. Ever since I joined the league, it’s been all about practice and making sure everyone on the team has everything they need. Now that I’m not playing, I’m not entirely sure what to do with myself.”
“I get that feeling for sure, but why aren’t you playing this season? I mean, only tell me if you want to. I don’t mean to be nosy. If it’s something personal, you don’t have to tell me. But if you want to, I’ll listen.”
“You’re so adorable.”
“Yes. So fucking adorable. I’m going to shut up now and look out the window.”
OMG, why am I so weird? All I had to do was ask my question and let him decide if he wanted to answer me. Instead, I word-vomit pretty much every thought running through my brain. Most people find that annoying, but for some strange reason that I’m moderately thankful for, Cooper thinks it’s adorable. Possibly proving that he has a few screws loose, as well, but I’ll take it.
After a few moments of silence, he answers. “I tore my ACL in the conference championship last season.”
Sounds serious, but sports isn’t my forte. I still don’t understand what that means or what it has to do with him being unable to play this season. “Break that down for someone who doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”
The corner of his mouth pulls up as he shakes his head. “ACL stands for anterior cruciate ligament. It is a ligament that connects your femur to the shinbone, stabilizing your knee.”
I mash my lips together in a hard line, resisting the urge to say something asinine again. He must take my silence as a signal for him to keep talking. “It prevents your shinbone from sliding out in front of your thigh bone. Comes in handy for things like walking and basic movements.”
I wince, phantom pains shooting through my knee at the thought of something like that happening to me. “That sounds painful.”
“It was very painful. I had surgery that night and have worked my ass off to get back into shape to start the season.”
Wait, I’m still confused. He had surgery and has done everything he needed to do to get back on the ice with his team. So, why is he coaching hockey in Redwood Falls? Did he have one of those scandals like that soccer coach who used drones to spy on an opponent at the Olympics? My mind races as I think back to my late-night googling session, but nothing stands out. Not that I looked at much other than the images of him on the ice.
I should leave it alone and mind my business, but of course, my brain-to-mouth filter chooses this very moment to deactivate. “Probably a dumb question, but then why aren’t you playing?”
I really need to get a handle on saying the first thing that pops into my head, but he takes it all in stride. “Your guess is as good as mine. Murphy, the team trainer, said I needed some more time to rehab my knee to decrease the chance of my injuring it again so soon.”
Well, that makes sense, mostly. I look over at Cooper, noticing the tension in his posture for the first time. His thumb brushes back and forth over the top of my hand, like I’m the only thing anchoring him in place. I could ask him what’s wrong, but I let it go. If he wants to tell me anything more, he can do it in his own time.
“He’s gonna be out of a job if you guys don’t win the big trophy this year,” I say, attempting to lighten the mood a little.
“You really know nothing about sports, do you? It’s called the Stanley Cup.”
“Nope,” I pop the p for good measure, finally getting those dimples of his to appear again. “Not a damn thing.”
“Good thing hockey has practically been my life since I put on my first pair of skates when I was seven. I know enough for the both of us.”
Cooper flicks on his right turn signal as we ease toward the exit for NW Flanders St. I don’t really know my way around Portland, but we’re headed toward Washington Park, the crown jewel of all parks in Portland. I remember visiting the park a lot when I was younger after visits to Hoyt Arboretum or the Oregon Zoo. To save money, Ma would always pack a picnic lunch for us with sandwiches and fruit. Imani started doing the same for her and Darius right before… Tears spring to my eyes as memories from childhood fill my mind. My throat tightens as the grief threatens to swallow me whole. Not now. Please, dear God, not now.
Cooper must sense something is wrong because his hand tightens around mine. “Are you okay?”
I turn my attention out the window, blinking back the tears as I wrestle to regain my composure. No, I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a very long time. That’s why I go to therapy two times a week and need to know where everyone I love is at all times. But that’s not a story I want to tell right now. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.