Chapter 15 – Cooper
Chapter Fifteen
Cooper
I don’t know what possessed me to kiss Ramona, but I needed to take that look out of her eyes. I know that look. It’s a look I’ve seen reflected at me in the mirror every day since I was fifteen years old. The look of pure agony on her face was too much for me to bear, so I kissed her. Kissed her to let her know she wasn’t alone, that there was someone else in the world who understood the pain she lived with day in and day out.
The first connection of our lips was forceful and tinged with a hungry need for each other that was all-consuming. Every single place she touched me felt like I was on fire, but I prepared myself for her to push me away. She’d been working so hard to keep some space between us ever since we left Redwood Falls, the tension building until it finally exploded. But if she wanted me to stop, then I would. But instead of pushing me away, she drew me closer, giving herself over to me, trusting me to protect her from whatever demons she was fighting.
“Let’s get you out of the rain,” I mumble against her lips before nipping at her bottom lip. I should probably put her down or at least stop kissing her, but I can’t do either. I won’t.
Before she can say another word, I lean in to kiss her again, but this kiss is less hurried than before. I take my time memorizing the way her body melts into mine and every sound she makes as we move. The soft mewl that escapes her lips when her pussy brushes against the bulge in my pants. The way she loves running her fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends. I nip at the juncture of her neck, our moans of pure pleasure filling the air as I press her back into the rough wood of the tree.
“Oliver is going to be mad that you left his picnic basket.” Her back arches as I bite down softly on her earlobe.
“I’ll buy him a new one,” I whisper before sucking her earlobe into my mouth. “He’ll understand when he finds out the precious cargo I was carrying instead.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, I’m moving again. I really should put her down and make a break for my condo, but I can’t think of anything else right now but kissing Ramona. It’s like I’m a teenage boy, experiencing my first kiss all over again. As far as first kisses go, this blows everything else out of the water. There’s something natural about kissing her, my body knowing intrinsically how to make her body sing for me. It’s like we are two halves of a whole that have finally found the missing pieces.
“I can walk, you know.” Her voice is breathy as she pulls back, licking her swollen lips.
“I know.”
“Are you going to let me down?” Her eyes search mine for the answer, but I have a feeling she doesn’t mean something as simple as putting her feet back on solid ground.
She wants to know if I can handle all of her demons. If I’m worthy of the trust she’s prepared to give me. The problem is, I don’t know if I am or not. I have my own demons that I’m fighting, that I struggle to keep under control daily. But when I’m with her, they are a little quieter and have less control. So, maybe, if I can help her fight her demons, she will help me fight mine as well? I don’t know the answer to either question, but I know I’m not going anywhere. Not now, or possibly ever.
“Never.” I cup her cheek, parting her lips with my tongue for the millionth time. Everything about today was unexpected but perfect.
I don’t know how they do it in the movies, but kissing while moving is hard. Somehow, we make it out of the park and across the street to my condo. I concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, but we move at a snail’s pace.
“What if someone sees us?” she asks as I press her against the driver’s side door of my truck, pushing against my chest. “I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
I can taste our shared breath and feel the thud of our combined heartbeats as I release her legs, allowing her delicious body to slide down mine. “No matter what you do, you’d never cause me trouble.”
“But reporters. And…” Her voice trails off as my tongue slides across her lip before pressing a small lingering kiss to the corner.
“No need to worry. No one knows where I live, and the doorman at my building is professional and discreet, but you’re right.” My eyes clench shut as I try to regain some of my composure.
Although the risk of reports or even fans seeing us is slim, there is still a chance. She doesn’t pay attention to sports, but there are plenty of residents in Redwood Falls that do. The last thing I want is for her to be accosted in the grocery store or trapped in her home because someone wanted their fifteen minutes of fame.
We need time to figure out what this is between us, and, more importantly, she needs time to tell Darius and her family. Momma would be gutted if she found out the news about me being with anyone, let alone someone she may know, from the newspaper or a celebrity news report on television. But I don’t want to rush things. Right now, this is about her and me.
With herculean effort, I drop a kiss on her forehead and step away. “You better move fast, Beauty. I don’t know how long I can keep my hands off you.”
She threads her fingers through mine. “The feeling is mutual.”
Without hesitating, I pull her toward the front door of my condo. The sliding doors open, and we stroll inside, making a beeline for the elevator.
“Afternoon, Mr. Hendrix.” Stanley, the doorman, tips his hat at me but doesn’t say another word. I have a feeling he knew we were coming.
No matter. I meant it when I told Beauty he was discreet. I don’t make a habit of bringing women back to my place, but the few times it has happened over the years, it never made it into the papers. I’d like to think that has a lot to do with Stanley.
“Afternoon.”
Ramona giggles as I lift her into my arms, heading directly into the open elevator doors and pressing the button for the third floor.
As soon as the doors close, my lips are on hers again. The moments we were separated felt like pure agony. We both sigh in satisfaction as our lips press against each other’s. Her chest is pressed tightly against mine, trapping her arms between our stomachs. She nudges her nose against mine, our mouths pressing together with slow, unhurried kisses.
I try to force my eyes to remain open to memorize every freckle on Beauty’s face. The way her eyes light in mischief before she presses her lips to mine, because this might be the only chance I get to be this close to her and I’m damn sure not about to waste it.
I know too well how everything can change in the blink of an eye. How a perfect day could be ruined by a selfish act, changing everyone’s lives. I’d never recover if I hurt Ramona, possibly destroying whatever semblance of a life I’ve cobbled together since Dad died, leaving me to take on the world for everyone in my family.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I feel her entire body shudder as she lifts her hips, dragging the seam of her pants across my cock.
I don’t respond immediately, sliding my hand up the back of her thighs, my fingertips sliding beneath the fabric of her sweater, brushing my fingers across her skin. “You’re so beautiful.”
Her entire body trembles in my arms as I slide my hand up her neck, grasping the hairs at the base of her neck and tugging her head back. “I seriously doubt that’s what you had to say, Hendrix.”
“That’s all that matters,” I respond, my mouth finding hers and silencing any need for further words just as the elevator dings and the door opens.
I stride toward my front door, pressing her against it. Her body molds against mine, and I groan in frustration. The need to feel her bare skin against mine is almost overwhelming. I ground my bulging erection against the seam of her pants, searching for just a little relief.
“Are we going to head inside? I’d rather not get arrested for indecent exposure.” She giggles against my lips, unwrapping her legs from around me.
Without taking my hands off her, I spin her around and pull her perfect ass against my cock. Sneaking my hand under her shirt for the second time, my thumb finds her bare skin as I lean down and whisper in her ear, “4-1-2-1-9-5-6.”
Her hands are trembling as she tries and fails to put in the numbers. “You’re making it very hard to concentrate.”
“You’re making it very hard not to take you right here against my front door. Damn the public indecency.” I nibble down her neck, grinding into her ass as she whimpers. The sounds echo around the empty hallway as I grip her hand, helping her to press in the correct code before opening the door and tumbling inside. The floor isn’t the optimal location for all the things I want to do to her, but beggars can’t be choosers.
I grab both her hands, sweeping them above her head and pinning them in place. “Now be a good girl and keep your hands right here.” The words slip out before I can stop them, but I’m not ashamed I said it. I have no idea what, if any kinks, Ramona might have, but I’m open to trying anything once.
“Why should I do that?” Her legs open wider, allowing my body to slide between them as she bites her bottom lip, looking to the side to hide her expression from me. Maybe I wasn’t so off with my statement. Either way, this is something I’d rather enjoy exploring in the future.
“Because only good girls get to come. Do you want to come, Beauty?” I nip at the corner of her mouth before running my tongue along the seams.
“Yes.” She moans loudly, arching her back off the floor. Her legs wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to her. “But the question is: are you going to be a good boy?”
My cock hardens even further. Apparently, I have a praise kink of my own. Who knew? Unable to speak, I nod my head, grounding my cock into her. Her eyes drift shut as I kiss along her jaw before nipping softly at the spot behind her ear.
“Then be a good boy and eat my pussy like it’s your last meal.”
Saliva pools in my mouth at the idea of tasting her for the first time right on the floor. Not wanting to delay any longer, I catch the door with my foot and kick it shut. The moment I hear the lock clicking into place, my mouth is on hers again.
“Hey, Coop. You don’t have any—” My head snaps up to see Beau standing in the entryway, a beer in one hand and the television remote in the other, his lips pressed tightly together to suppress a smile. “I guess I should’ve told you I was stopping by to watch the game on your amazing television.”
“You fucking think?” I groan, dropping my head into the curve of her neck.
Fuck Beau and his cock-blocking timing. I didn’t want Beauty anywhere near my brother until we figured out whatever this was between us, but it seems the universe has other plans. I can’t say that I’m surprised. I don’t deserve any of this and I know it, but apparently, the universe wants to drive the point home. I know there’s no way I’m going to talk my way out of this one. Beau is gullible, but I doubt he’ll believe we are just friends based on what he just saw.
“I’m just going to…” He motions his thumb over his shoulder, eyes locked on Ramona pressed beneath me.
“You fucking do that,” I growl, my eyes never leaving his as he spins around quickly and heads back the way he came.
I sigh loudly. “And that’s my brother, Beau, who doesn’t know how to respect boundaries and locked doors.”
Beauty giggles softly as I press my lips to her forehead and push to my feet. “If you go to the left, you’ll find my room. Why don’t you take a shower and warm up while I get rid of this asshole? You’re welcome to anything in my drawers or closet.”
She takes my outstretched hand as I pull her to her feet. “Okay.”
I watch as she scurries toward the other portion of the house, away from Beau and the verbal ass-whooping he’s about to get. I find Beau exactly where I thought I would, in the study, parked in front of the 86-inch television, watching the Kraken spank the Avalanche.
“How the fuck did you get in here? I know for a fact I never gave you the code for this very reason.”
“You really need to stop making Dad’s birthday your code for everything.” Beau grabs a beer from a cooler placed on the floor and hands it to me. It seems he planned on being here for a while if he brought his own beer.
I accept the peace offering and take a long swig, trying to quench the emotions bubbling to the surface, a stark reminder of the demons I tried to bury for a short amount of time. No, not me. Ramona. Just having her near me made it easier to breathe around the pain and the guilt of what happened to my father.
“And before you ask, I planned to come over and watch the game since you’re supposed to still be in Redwood Falls.”
Fair enough. We haven’t spoken in the last few days, which is strange for us. We live in the same building, play for the same team, and have the same schedule. Not only is Beau my teammate and brother, but he’s also one of my best friends. But don’t tell Alise that. She doesn’t like to share the title.
“Don’t you have a television at home?”
“But yours is bigger,” he responds matter-of-factly. I’m going to need to add buying him a bigger television to my list of things to do this weekend. We both stare at the television, the announcer’s voice filling the silence before he speaks again. “So, who’s the girl?”
I open my mouth to respond but clamp it shut. I don’t want to tell him too much, but I need to give him something. “She’s one of my players’ parents.”
“Have you lost your fucking mind? Sleeping with a parent is never a good idea.”
I can’t say I didn’t expect this reaction. Beau is right, although I’ll never tell him that. Getting involved with a player’s parent is always a bad idea. If things end badly, Ramona could make my life a living hell with both the team and the hockey club. Not to mention she lives in my hometown. This could get messy quickly, but if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t give a shit. The chance to explore whatever this is between Ramona and me is worth all the risk.
“We aren’t sleeping together,” I grunt, taking another healthy pull from my beer.
“You would be right now if I weren’t here.”
Beau has a point, but the thing he doesn’t understand is that whatever was about to happen between us would be more than just a quick fuck. “Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome, and I’m not sorry.” He places his beer on the coffee table in front of us before turning toward me. “Single moms come with extra baggage, Coop. Are you equipped to deal with that?”
“You’re making a bigger deal out of this than you need to.”
“Am I? I’m your brother, Cooper. The fact you called in a favor to Ollie and brought her to your condo tells me everything I need to know. You like her, maybe more than like her.”
“Remind me never to ask Ollie to keep a secret,” I grumble, setting my now-empty beer bottle next to his, my attention focused out the window.
“You and I both know Ollie can’t keep his mouth shut. You called him out of everyone you know in the city because you wanted me to find out, didn’t you?”
“And why the fuck would I do that?” My head snaps toward him as I try to make sense of what he’s asking me.
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
I drop my elbows to rest on my knees and really think about what Beau is asking me. Did I purposely call Ollie to make sure someone knew that Ramona was here with me? Am I trying to sabotage whatever this is between the two of us before it can even get started? My eyes track the rain droplets trickling down the windowpane.
“Your point?”
I want to argue with him, but I can’t because he’s right. I more than just like Beauty. Do I love her? No, not yet. But I could foresee myself falling for her. It would be easy, like breathing, and there would be nothing I could do to stop it from happening. And honestly, I’m probably already on my way to falling for her.
“I’m happy for you. There’s way more to life than hockey, and it seems you’re finally learning that.”
Happy? Happiness isn’t a luxury I can have, not yet, at least. I need to continue to atone for everything I put my family through. Dad was everything to all of us, and it was my selfishness that took him away from us. I can’t let it get in the way again, not before I bring this family back together. But does it have to be one or the other? Can I carve out a little piece of happiness in the world with Ramona before I can make that happen? I don’t know. Maybe if I can get Cole to talk to me this weekend, we can start working towards mending things between us. We both said some hurtful things to each other the night he left our childhood home and haven’t spoken much since.
I’ve tried to apologize many times over the years, but he isn’t having it. Beau has hinted a few times at what might be the issue but won’t come out and just tell me what to do. He doesn’t want to betray our younger brother’s trust. He doesn’t want to pick sides because he loves us both, but the fact we spend so much time together has put a strain on his and Cole’s relationship, as well. How can I be happy when my family is still torn apart? It’s been my job to keep us together since Dad is gone, and I’ve been doing a shitty job of it. How can I allow myself to be focused on anything else but that?
“But be careful. Her life is in Redwood Falls, and for right now, yours is here, unless you have made some decision I’m not aware of.” Beau claps me on the back, bringing me back to the present.
“No. I need to get back on the ice… You know why.”
“I get it, but as I’ve said before, it’s not your responsibility to hold this family together. Cole walked out on us. He made his choice, and now we all have to respect that until he’s ready to let us all back in.”
“But it’s—” I begin, but Beau cuts me off with a groan.
“If you say it’s your fault, I’m going to punch you.”
Beau punches me hard in the shoulder anyway before pushing to his feet. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation, and I can guarantee it won’t be the last. Not until I can get through to Cole and bring this family back together. The only real question now is how.
“Look, you have no more control over another person’s decisions about their life than you do the weather.”
I know this. I do, but there is a part of me that believes Cole’s distance from the family is my doing. Everything that’s happened since my fifteenth birthday is my fault. If I had listened to my gut and made my parents believe that I really wanted to stay home and hang out for my birthday, Dad would still be here. He could’ve gotten Cole to listen and go to college first. He would’ve known exactly how to hold this family together. I know nothing. I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants since that day.
I know I don’t deserve happiness, not until I fix the mess I’ve made, but here I am, grasping at the small sliver of happiness I’ve found with Ramona. For the first time in fifteen years, there’s something on my mind besides my family and hockey. Something that I want for myself, not because it will benefit my family. Whenever I’m around Beauty, I don’t feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Yes, I want to protect her from her own demons, but selfishly, I want her to help protect me from my own.
My focus turns out the door toward the back of the house, where Ramona is taking a shower. I need to be honest with her. Lay all my cards on the table. She needs to know how broken I am and how I know I don’t deserve a chance to figure out whatever this is between us, but I’m willing to try.
“Happiness looks good on you, brother.” Beau drops back down on the couch, throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me in for a side hug. “But you know I’m gonna need to tell Momma.”
Of course, the little shit can’t leave well enough alone. The joys of having a younger brother, I guess. “No, you don’t, because you’ll all meet her and her son tomorrow at the game.”
“Maybe I should call Alise instead?”
“She’s Alise’s best friend.”
“Jesus, Coop.” Beau runs his hand through his hair, flopping back onto the couch.
“I know. I know. Now get out before I make a phone call of my own and spill all your secrets.”
“I’m going.”
He raises his hands in surrender before pushing to his feet. He knows the way to the door, but I’m eager to get back to my Beauty, so I follow behind him. “Can you head into the park, toward the International Rose Test Garden, and grab Ollie’s picnic basket? I dropped it near a bench.”
His hand freezes mid-motion as he reaches for the door. “You dropped it near a bench? How the hell did you manage—you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know. I’m keeping the food. I’m starving and you have nothing to eat.”
“I have plenty to eat. I just don’t have any of that crap you like to fill your body with.”
“I’m a fine-tuned athletic machine. Eating chips and drinking beer every once in a while won’t kill me.”
This is a completely pointless conversation. It doesn’t matter if he keeps the food or not. I have enough here from the last time Momma filled my fridge to feed Beauty and me a decent dinner, but there’s something much more important in that basket. “You can take it, but Ramona’s bag is inside. Bring that here as soon as you get back.”
“I have permission to come back inside?”
“Oh, you’re asking my permission this time?”
“I don’t want to walk in on something again. I’m not a complete asshole, Cooper.”
“You aren’t, just the second-best Hendrix.” Beau rolls his eyes at me before pulling the door open and slamming it tightly shut behind him.
I know he’ll head right to the park and bring Ramona’s bag back quickly. I just hope the rain didn’t ruin her notebook. When she ran away from me, I packed our things up as quickly as possible, not forgetting to shove the notebook and bag into the picnic basket before the rain started. Hopefully, the basket was enough to protect it.
I head toward the other end of the house. There’s a spare bedroom I keep for whenever Ma comes to the city, just in case she wants to stay here instead of heading back home after a game. Beau has a similar setup in his condo, as well, which is a good thing. If things go as planned tomorrow, Ramona and Darius will stay here with me.
I open the door and find Beauty, lying across my king-sized bed, a white towel wrapped around her head. The lamp on the nightstand beside the bed casts a warm glow around the room. I would love nothing more than to climb into the bed and wrap my arms around her, but I need to shower first. I stride toward the bed and plant a kiss on her forehead before heading into the bathroom. I quickly shuck my clothes and take a shower, not wanting to waste another minute away from her. I make quick work of washing the important areas before heading into my closet to pull on a pair of boxers and sweatpants. I usually sleep in just my boxers, but something tells me she’ll feel much better if my lower half is more covered.
I pause near the bed, my eyes scanning her body and cataloging everything about her. The warm brown skin of her legs peaks out from beneath a Portland Timberwolves T-shirt, and I imagine what it would be like for her to wear my name and number on her back. I may have to make sure that happens sooner rather than later.
Ramona shivers slightly, curling in on herself for warmth, and I spring into action. I slowly slide my arms underneath her shoulders and legs before lifting her into my arms. Beauty buries her nose in my chest and sighs, her entire body melting into mine. A warmth spreads through me, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, healing a few of the broken pieces inside me.
I shift her weight to one arm, using the other to pull down the covers and gently lay her back on the bed. I pull them up quickly but stop to look at her face, noticing a matching smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose like her mother’s and a small scar just above her right eyebrow. My thumb brushes against the scar, wondering how she got it. I want to know everything there is to know about her, and that terrifies me.
What if I mess this up? What if my selfishness ruins this, too? I don’t know if I’d ever recover if I hurt her or Darius. Is it better to not start something at all? No, it isn’t. Even a chance at something with Ramona is worth the risk. I just need to figure out how to convince her to let me in. How can I show her she can trust me with her demons because I have the same ones?
The chime of my cell phone rings from the bathroom, and I rush to silence it. Grabbing the phone, I notice a text from Beau.
Second-Best Hendrix
The bag is on the bench in the entryway along with a few condoms I grabbed from my apartment because I’d garner a guess that you don’t have any. Better safe than sorry, brother.
Leave it to my brother to ruin a perfectly good moment, but I have to admit, he’s right. I’m no monk or anything, but I have little time for anything besides hockey during the season. And with my accelerated workout schedule I kept this off-season, there wasn’t much time for much else.
Thanks, brother. See you tomorrow.
I head out of the bedroom, straight for the entryway, and find her bag right where Beau said he left it. My fingers itch to check on her notebook, to make sure everything is still as he left it, but I don’t. Not only did Momma teach me never to go into a woman’s purse, but I have a feeling Ramona wouldn’t appreciate it either. That tattered notebook means something to her. It represents something she lost. Something she still longs for and deserves to have even if she doesn’t see it.
I grab her bag and head back toward the bedroom, dropping it on the nightstand beside her and noticing the time on the clock. It’s only about two o’clock. I’m not much of a napper, but the idea of climbing into my bed and snuggling with Beauty sounds like the best idea. It’s not what I should do by any means, but it’s what I’m going to do. But not before letting her family know what’s going on, and by that, I mean Alise.
Can you let Darius and Ramona’s mom know that she’s safe? She fell asleep, and I don’t want to wake her.
Lissy Loo Loo
I asked you to talk to her at lunch, not give her a happy ending.
Not that it’s any of your business, but she really did just fall asleep. We got caught in the rain, and after her shower, she was dead on her feet.
Lissy Loo Loo
Damn, too bad for you. I’ll let everyone know she’s staying the night with you. I’ll ride up tomorrow with Auntie Mel and bring Darius with us. You have our tickets, right?
Of course, I do.
Lissy Loo Loo
Good. See you tomorrow. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
That doesn’t leave out much.
Lissy Loo Loo
Exactly.
I chuckle softly before making my way to the other side of the bed and climbing in. I slide as close to Ramona as I can get, wrapping my body around hers. I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but no matter what happens between Beauty and me, this is the most magical moment of my life. One that I will cherish forever.