Chapter 22 – Ramona
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ramona
“ A re you sure you’re doing okay?” I ask Darius for the millionth time since we left the arena.
After Cooper creatively found a way for me to calm down, we went in search of Darius. He was given a clean bill of health from the trainer and was told to relax for a few days. The trainer also said Darius would be sporting a new bruise on his side and just be sore for a few days, but I’m not so sure.
“Yes. I’m fine. I promise. If I have a hard time breathing or moving, I will let you and Coach know. If neither of you aren’t around, I’ll tell the closest adult. If there’s no adult I trust around, I’ll call Nanny or Auntie Mel. When all else fails, I’ll call Auntie Li, but only after trying to get a hold of you again.”
“I think you may have given him this speech one too many times. He can practically repeat the entire thing back to you verbatim.”
“No one asked you,” I snap at Cooper before turning back to Darius.
I can’t help being worried about him. Imani left him in my care. To love and protect in her stead now that she isn’t around. And he’s making it pretty damn hard to do that when he comes home with new bruises or sprains weekly from hockey. I had a bad feeling about him playing a full-contact sport, but I can’t say I regret letting him sign up. If he hadn’t, who knows what would’ve happened between Cooper and me? He’d probably be some hot guy I flirted with on his way into town instead of one of the most important people in my life.
“Come on, Rambo.” I smack him hard on the shoulder.
“Sorry, Beauty. But you really do need to loosen up on the reins a little. Take it from someone who was once a pre-teen boy. The more you hover, the less likely we’ll be to confide in you when it truly matters.”
Why do I feel like what he said has nothing to do with what just happened at the game? My eyes flick to Darius, looking for any signs that what Cooper said bothered him, but I can’t find anything. His attention is focused out the window, watching the scenery go by as we head home.
“Okay. Okay. I’ll stop hovering tomorrow. Today, I need to make sure he gets home and rests. I already placed an order from his favorite Ramen shop a few towns over. I’ll go grab it once we have him settled at home.”
“You’re staying?” Cooper asks, the question hanging over my head like a guillotine.
It didn’t dawn on me to tell Cooper that I’d have to cancel our date tonight now that Darius is hurt. He needs me to be there. Fuck, I need to be there. The idea of going into the city and not being there if he needs something terrifies me. My mind races with all the horrible possibilities of what could happen without me around. Alise and Ms. Melanie were going to come sit with Ma so we didn’t have to rush home, but I already texted Alise to cancel. Are the other strong women in my life capable of handling anything he might need? Yes, but they aren’t me.
“Darius is hurt.” My hand rubs at the spot over my heart, which is pounding loudly in my chest.
I can feel the telltale signs of my anxiety beginning to bubble to the surface. I can’t leave him. I can’t. I need to know he’s okay. That nothing bad has happened to him. I can’t lose someone else. Not again and not him. If something happened to Darius… fuck. My hand holding my shirt tightens as I try to focus on the things around me.
Five things I can feel. The fabric of my shirt. My nails digging into the flesh of my palm. Pain. Loss. God damn it. It’s not working. My eyes clench shut tightly as the panic swells in my chest, threatening to pull me under, but I need to hold on. But suddenly, it all vanishes, and my eyes fly open.
Cooper’s hand is gripping mine tightly, his thumb brushing over my clenched fist in soothing circles. “Darius is fine.” The soothing tone of his voice allows my body to relax, the tension working its way out of my muscles. After a few minutes, my breathing evens out. I chance a glance at Cooper, and his eyes flick toward mine, asking me if I’m okay.
“Darius can hear you.” The sound of Darius’ exasperated sigh breaks our staring contest. “I’m fine. I don’t need anything right now besides some more Tylenol, food, and my bed. What are you going to do?”
“I need to be there in case you wake up and need something.”
Even though I know this is a feeble excuse, how do you explain the pain and anxiety I feel at the thought of being away from him right now? That the thought of something happening to him or not being able to protect him from everything is unbearable? Yes, I realistically know this isn’t possible. Anything could happen to him at any point in time, whether or not I’m there, but emotionally, I can’t get past the anxiety of not stopping what I can. It’s my fault his mother and grandfather are gone. The least I can do is protect him from everything I can.
“What are Auntie Li, Auntie Mel, and Nanny? Chopped liver?”
“But…”
“But nothing. I refuse to let you use me as an excuse to cancel your date tonight. You’ve been looking forward to it for days.”
“How do you know that?” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. This isn’t good.
Do I care that Darius can hear my conversations with Alise? Not one bit. She’s my best friend, and we share almost everything. But what I’m more concerned about is him overhearing any of my and Cooper’s conversations over the last few weeks. Let’s just say that not all of them were rated PG, if you get what I’m saying. We haven’t spent much time together since our impromptu sleepover on my birthday, but our need for each other hasn’t lessened one bit.
“I have ears. If you don’t want people to hear your conversation, you should probably stop talking to Auntie Li on speakerphone,” Darius grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest and then wincing.
My eyes flick to Cooper, and I want to smack the smug smile off his face. Now he knows everything, well not everything, but more than I intended for him to know right now. Short story, I’m falling for him and fast. I can’t pinpoint when it started, but it was as if I woke up one morning and my heart knew that it was going to belong to him. I’ve spent many conversations with Alise trying to rationalize my feelings, to force my head to understand what my heart already knows. It’s too fucking soon. But that’s a problem for a different day.
Right now, I need to focus on making sure Darius gets better and research better pads for hockey players. I know I can’t convince Darius to stop playing hockey, but my heart can’t take much more of these injuries.
“It’s not polite to listen to others’ conversations,” Cooper chimes in, refocusing my mind on the topic at hand.
“I understand and I’m sorry, but she needs to go on this date. You both do. You aren’t as grumpy after you guys spend time together. Don’t think we didn’t notice you let us off easy after the game today.” Darius shifts his body toward mine, his eyes blazing with the conviction of his words. “You can’t keep spending all your time with me and Nanny or you’ll end up an old cat lady still living with their mother with nothing to show for your life.”
“Ouch.” Cooper covers his laugh with a cough. “I think what Darius is trying to say is that you’re allowed to have a life, Ramona. One that doesn’t revolve around Darius.”
Darius leans forward, wincing slightly as he bumps Cooper on the shoulder. “Yeah, that.”
I know both of them are right, and maybe I can do something about that tomorrow. I’ve been working with my therapist on finding a good balance between what my family needs and what I need for myself, but I probably need to try harder. If the people in my life are commenting on it, then things might be worse than I thought. I need to unpack that some more before finding a healthy path forward. My therapist will definitely earn her paycheck in the coming weeks.
“I hear both of you. And I’m trying, but you need to understand that this is all new to me. It will take some time for me to find a balance that works for me.”
“We understand, don’t we, Big D?”
“Yeah, Coach.” Darius flashes Cooper a huge smile before leaning his head against the window and closing his eyes.
He must be exhausted after playing the long game and everything that happened today. We should be back at our place in another five minutes, but I’m not about to keep him awake. If he’s even sleeping. Now that I know about his eavesdropping tendencies, I’m not too sure.
When he doesn’t move for a few moments, I turn my attention back to Cooper. “Big D?”
“The boys on the team have been coming up with nicknames for each other, and Darius is Big D.”
Why the hell would the boys know anything about his D? They use open showers to clean up after games, but I always thought the idea of a dick-measuring contest in sports locker rooms was some sort of myth. Just like girls can’t go to the bathroom alone. We can; we just don’t want to. There’s a big difference.
He has learned by now that my mind almost immediately goes into the gutter whenever possible. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Beauty. Darius is one of the tallest boys on the team, hence the Big , and Darius is a lot harder to say than you think when you’re tired and out of breath.”
Now that he’s explained it, it makes sense, but now I have more questions. “What do they call you?”
“Coop or Cap.”
So Coop makes sense because almost everyone calls him that, but Cap? The wheels in my brain turn, trying to think of what it might mean, but I ask instead.
“What does Cap mean?”
“Captain. Beau and I have been team captains for the last few seasons.”
So that’s what the big C I noticed on his jersey on the first day of practice meant. “Those just seem so generic.”
“It doesn’t have to be some special name that no one else uses. Just think of it as a nickname. Mine is Coop because Beau has called me that his whole life. When our teammates heard him say it, they started doing the same thing.”
“That makes sense, but now I’m going to need to think of something extra cheesy to call you because I hate being the same as everyone else.”
“Beauty, you will never be like everyone else, even if you try.”
God damn it. How the hell does he do that? It’s like he knows exactly what to say to disarm my defenses. I may as well stop trying to protect my heart from him altogether and accept the inevitable. No, I can’t do that. Not yet, at least. Cooper will get sick of me and the hoops he has to jump through for us to spend time together. Just like the few men I tried to date in the past, not that he’s anything like them. Cooper has this entire part of his life I don’t understand, being a professional athlete. He’s in the limelight, whether he likes it or not, whereas I prefer to blend into the background.
Everything has been fine for the most part. No reporters are showing up at the house or accosting me in the street, like Cooper explained might happen. The only difference is the occasional silence when I walk into a store in town or drunks asking me for tickets when I work the bar at The Pit Stop, but this is likely the calm before the storm. The moment they have a hint of something brewing between us, whether it’s positive or negative, they’re going to be chomping at the bit. That’s future Ramona’s problem. I promised Cooper I’d see where things go between us, and I can’t do that if I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“What is she doing here?” I sit up straighter, leaning forward as I notice a very familiar car in my driveway.
“I have a feeling Alise knows how much you need this date, and in her typical fashion, she made sure you couldn’t get out of it.” Cooper smiles, pulling his truck to a stop behind hers. “See what she wants. I’ll help Darius out of the truck.”
I hesitate for a second before nodding my head. There isn’t much that can happen to Darius getting out of the truck, and I trust Cooper to take care of him.
I don’t even have a chance to pull my shoes off before Alise is standing in front of me, her special edition Kim Kardashian Beats secured over her ears. She already knows I’m going to lay into her for not listening, and there will definitely be screaming involved. She came prepared. “Before you start, I got your text message. I just ignored it.”
“And I let her!” Auntie Peggy shouts, more than likely from her spot on the couch.
“You’re going on your date tonight.” Not Ma, too. I should’ve known these three would ignore me. They orchestrated Cooper taking me out for my birthday and who knows what else over the years, but this is too much. Darius comes first, and they all know this. Why are they pushing the subject?
“No, I’m not.” I cross my arms over my chest, daring one of them to say something.
Do I want to go on a date with Cooper? Of course, I do. Darius was right when he said I’d been talking about it all week, trying to get some information out of Alise about what we were doing. Cooper wouldn’t tell me anything other than it would be cold and we had to go to Portland to do it, just enough information to stop me from freaking out completely. But I still wanted to know. I don’t know if my heart can take another lavishly planned perfect date with him.
“I’m your mother, young lady. What I say goes.”
“That stopped being true when I turned eighteen, Ma. Besides, you can’t make me go out if I don’t want to.”
“Okay. Then I’m leaving.” Ma grabs her cane and slowly makes her way toward the door. She isn’t wearing her house clothes, aka sweatpants and a sweatshirt, meaning there’s a very strong possibility that she plans on following through with this threat.
“Ma.”
“Auntie Na.”
Alise and I both talk at the same time as we move quickly around her, blocking her path out of the door.
“What? I know I’m old, but I can do as I damn well please. I want to leave since Ramona doesn’t want to come to her senses.” She stands there, eyeing us skeptically.
I try to think of a good reason for her to turn around and head back into the living room. When I take too long to say something, she moves closer, and I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
“Ma, you can’t even drive. How are you going to get anywhere?”
“You’ve stepped in it now, Ramona,” Auntie Peggy adds her two cents into the conversation, but I know she’s right.
It’s not really the point that Ma can’t drive. It’s more that she shouldn’t. The only reason for Naomi King to get behind the wheel of a car is to pick Darius up from school on the rare occasion Alise or I can’t do it. Even that’s been cut down recently. Ma can’t see as well as she used to—getting old does that shit to you—but she can get around and find familiar places during the day. The key part of that sentence is during the day . It’s almost seven o’clock, and sunset was about twenty minutes ago. By the time she gets to the car, gets situated, and gets around all the cars to make it out of the driveway, it will be pitch black outside.
“Alise will drive me. Won’t you, sweetheart?” she answers triumphantly, a smug look on her face that immediately drops when Alise opens her mouth.
“Sorry, Auntie. No can do.” Ma swings toward her, ready to give her what for, but Alise raises her hands in surrender. “Ah, don’t yell at me! I have an excellent reason for telling you no.”
“I’m listening.”
“You can’t leave because Auntie Mel is on her way here. We’re having a girls’ night while Darius rests in his room.”
“Oh, how wonderful.” She smiles brightly, taking her time to turn around and head back into the house. “I haven’t seen Melanie in a few weeks. We have some catching up to do since our babies have found each other.”
One crisis averted, but another one immediately crops up the moment my brain registers what Ma said. “What?”
“Did I stutter, Ramona?”
I take a deep breath, reminding myself that this is my ma speaking to me like I’m stupid. I can’t do shit but stand here and grin and bear it. No matter how much I don’t want to.
“No, Ma, you didn’t. But you know Ms. Melanie?”
“Yes.”
Deep breath in. “And you didn’t think to tell me this when you and Alise cooked up the plan to force us together on my birthday?”
“No. I didn’t. Why would I? You aren’t entitled to know all of my friends.”
“How did you two even meet?”
“Melanie is one of my best friends. Did you honestly think they’d never run into each other before?” My focus shifts to Auntie Peggy sitting in the living room, but she only raises her eyebrow. I’m losing my patience with these three, and it’s written all over my face.
I’ve been in and out of Alise’s house more times than I can count. I’ve dropped Ma off there to hang out and do whatever old ladies do when they’re alone, but not once have I seen Melanie Hendrix there at the same time. Ms. Melanie and I have seen each other in passing. A quick hello as we go in and out of Alise’s house, but that’s it. And now they’re trying to tell me they’ve been one big happy family this entire time.
“Playing devil’s advocate here, but you never met Cooper before the other night, and we practically grew up together.” Alise giggles, trying to defuse this situation.
“I’ll deal with you in a minute, traitor.” I reach up and grab my ears, rubbing circles around the lobes, hoping it will calm me. “You’re such a hypocrite. You hate when people lie to you, but you’re doing the same thing to me right now.”
“I’m not a traitor or a liar, Mona. However, Momma and Auntie Na scare me way more than you. Not to mention the fact that she’s right.”
I open my mouth to lay into her when the front door swings open, bumping me in the back, and I stumble forward.
“I’m so sorry, Beauty. I didn’t know you were standing there.” Cooper steps into the house, Darius’s arm draped over his shoulder as they shuffle inside.
“Did you know anything about this?”
Cooper’s eyes widen in surprise as he kicks the door shut, taking in his surroundings.
To his credit, he doesn’t say a word, waiting patiently for me to give him some more information, but that ain’t happening. It’s one thing for Ma and Alise to lie to me. And yes, they lied. A lie of omission is the same thing as an outright lie in my book. I should be used to it by now, but this still stings. Makes me wonder what else they might be hiding from me.
His eyes shift from each of our faces, trying to make sense of what I’m asking, but he still says nothing. No one does, each of us waiting for someone else to make the first comment.
“Whatever you say, Coach, the answer is always no.” Darius winces as Cooper releases his arm. “I’m going to my room. This ain’t got nothing to do with me. Good luck, Coach.”
“Thanks,” he mumbles as Alise snickers loudly. “What are you asking again, Beauty?”
“Don’t try to butter me up, Cooper. Did you know about this?”
“I’m not trying to butter you up. I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“She’s asking if you knew that Auntie Mel and Auntie Na were besties.” Alise huffs loudly, as if this isn’t a big-ass deal.
“They are?” Cooper is just as confused and surprised as I am.
“I wouldn’t say besties, but we have gotten a lot closer since you two started seeing each other. We talk on the phone once or twice a week.” Ma waves away our concern as she turns to head back into the living room.
“You talk to each other on the phone. Regularly?”
I know I keep harping on this, but I’m having a very hard time wrapping my head around what’s going on right now. This new information adds one more layer to how much my relationship has changed everyone’s lives and how much it would change if things didn’t go well.
It would’ve been na?ve of me to believe that nothing would change if we got together. He’s Darius’s hockey coach, for goodness’ sake, but I doubt Cooper would cut Darius off or change the way he acts toward him because things between us didn’t work out. Besides, the reality of the situation is that once the season ends, we’d never have to see him again. But now that our moms are friends, keeping out of each other's lives is going to be much harder than I expected.
“That’s what one does with their friends. Besides, if you’d give me more information about what’s going on between you two, I wouldn’t have to rely on Alise and Melanie to tell me.”
“You’ve been feeding my mother gossip?” I whirl around, pointing a finger at Alise as she hides behind Cooper. “He won’t save you.”
“She's right. You're on your own with this one, Lissy Loo Loo.” Cooper steps away from her, more than likely wanting his own answer to my question.
“Like I said, she scares me more than you. Besides, who else am I going to discuss my theories with about when you’re getting married?”
“We aren’t getting married,” I respond without hesitating, but it seems Cooper has other ideas.
“Yet.”
If I wasn’t freaking out before, I’m definitely doing so now. He’s already thinking about marriage while I’m waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Things have been going great between us, but marriage? It's only been about six weeks since we went on our first date. Sure, we know each other a lot better now, but we haven’t even spent any real time together. We need to talk and soon, but not with these two within earshot.
“See,” Ma, Auntie Peggy, and Alise say in unison as there’s a loud knock at the front door. Ms. Melanie strolls into the house with an oversized tote bag hanging off her shoulder.
“Did I miss anything?” she asks, giving her son’s shoulder a hard squeeze before wrapping me in a tight hug.
“Only the fact that you and Ma are besties and neither of us knew about it.” I motion between Cooper and me. Just like Ma, she waves it off.
“We were friends before this and will still be friends after. There’s no sense in making a big deal about it.”
I know she’s right, but I can’t let this go. Not because they didn’t tell us, but because it feels like there’s some cosmic force bringing us together. And that terrifies the shit out of me.
“Now, enough of these excuses. You two have a date to get to.” Ms. Melanie plants a kiss on my cheek before heading straight for Ma and Alise.
“We can’t. Darius got hurt at the game today.”
“But—” Ms. Melanie begins, but Cooper cuts her off with a smile.
“Okay, ladies. Get started on whatever you planned for this evening. Ramona and I need to chat for a minute.”
Cooper grips my hand, pulling me toward the door before turning left into the kitchen. The minute he stops, I pull my hand free. “I’m not going all the way to the city when Darius is hurt. What if he needs me or something happens?”
My breathing picks up as my mind spirals. Every possible horrible thing that could happen to Darius flashes through my mind on a movie reel, each one more terrifying than the last. There’s a small part of my mind that knows most of these things can’t happen, but I can’t seem to stop them.
Cooper doesn’t hesitate, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tightly to his chest. I inhale his delicious scent, counting backward slowly to calm my racing heart. “It’s okay, Beauty. Darius is okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that, Cooper.”
“I can. In this instance, I can. I’ve had the same bruises and injuries before. Momma took care of me for each and every one, including after I moved into my place in the city. If anyone knows what to do to ensure that Darius is good as new in a few days, it’s her.”
He’s right. Having Ms. Melanie here to help makes a difference, but I still need to be here in case something happens. Darius is one of the most important people in my life. My sister trusted me to raise and take care of her little boy if anything happened to her. Neither of us thought it was going to be so soon, but here we are. Darius was Imani’s entire universe, and ?he’s mine, as well. I don’t want him to feel like he is any less important because Cooper is now a part of our lives.
“That makes me feel a little better, but I have to be here just in case. I need it. I wouldn’t even enjoy our date because I would have no way of knowing how he’s doing.”
“I know, Beauty. But how about we make a compromise?” Cooper pulls back slightly, his eyes searching my face to see how I feel about what he just said.
“A compromise?”
“Yes. It's one of those things couples do when they don’t agree on something.”
“People actually do that?” I giggle, not having a single memory of my parents ever doing anything of the sort. Ma always got whatever he wanted. Sure, Dad told her no occasionally, but not very often, and I’m not any better, if I’m being honest. If Darius or Ma want something, I bend over backward to make sure they have it, even if I have to give up something.
“Yes, they do, or at least they should.”
“Okay. What did you have in mind?”
“We stay here in town for our date.”
“Is it really that simple?”
There’s no doubt that Cooper has some elaborate plan for our date tonight. The man doesn’t have any idea how to do something small, making it seem like his mission in life is to spoil me rotten. Something that no one has done for me in years. I’m not mad about it; it's kind of nice to be someone’s priority for once.
It hasn’t been until recently that I even think about what I want occasionally, but quickly banish the thoughts away. Cooper goes out of his way to think about what I want and need since we’ve started dating. He does everything in his power to make sure that I’m happy and safe, but does he also do the same for himself?
“I’ll have to make some changes to my plan, but yes, it is. That way, I get to spend some alone time with you, and you don’t have to worry too much about how Darius is doing. You’ll also be able to get here quickly, since every place in town only takes about fifteen minutes or less to get to.”
“And you’d be okay with that?”
This is something Cooper is going to have to deal with a lot if this thing between us is going to work. Darius and Ma will always come before him. We will probably go weeks without seeing each other in person, and even longer once he starts playing again and traveling with the team. We talked about this before we agreed to give this relationship a try, but this is the first real test we’ve faced since then.
“It doesn’t matter where we are or what we do, as long as I get to spend time with you.”
“That rhymed.”
Cooper shakes his head at my antics, leaning down to plant a kiss on his favorite spot. “If I told you I wanted to stay here and hang out, what would you say?”
“I would beg for us to at least hang out in your room or another part of the house away from the four Nosy Nellies we love so much. I want as much of your attention as I can get tonight.”
This time I don’t hesitate with my response. “Okay. I’ll go.”