Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
K ate slipped through the early morning mist, a small basket of provisions clutched in her hands. Connor had left at dawn with Ewan and two other men to scout the MacDonald meeting place, leaving strict instructions that she remain at camp. But she’d never been particularly good at following instructions, especially when they involved sitting idly by while others took action.
The path to Elspeth’s cottage wasn’t difficult to retrace. Kate had paid careful attention during yesterday’s journey, noting landmarks and the gentle curve of the hills. Not to mention it was the only road or path around.
She paused at the crest of the hill, looking down at the cottage where a thin tendril of smoke rose from the chimney. What was she doing here, really? A snort escaped. Yes, she was avoiding her own problems and her indecision about whether to tell Connor the truth about when she came from.
With a sigh, she continued down the slope. Breathing heavily, she stood at the door, trying to catch her breath before she knocked softly. For a moment, there was silence, then the sound of movement inside.
“Who’s there?” Elspeth’s voice carried a note of wariness.
“It’s Kate. From yesterday? I’ve brought some supplies.”
The door cracked open, Elspeth’s blue eyes, so like Connor’s, peered out suspiciously before recognition dawned. “I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.” She opened the door wider. “Come in.”
The cottage was even cozier in the soft morning light, the fire casting a warm glow over the simple furnishings. Elspeth wore a faded blue dress, her dark hair braided loosely over one shoulder.
“My brother doesn’t know you’re here, does he?” Elspeth asked, taking the basket and setting it on the small table.
She smiled sheepishly. “Not exactly. He’s scouting ahead with some of the men.”
Elspeth’s lips curved in a small smile. “So you’re as headstrong as you seem. No wonder my brother is so taken with you.”
“I wouldn’t say taken,” Kate protested, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. “We’re just... friends.”
“If you say so.” Elspeth began unpacking the basket. Oatcakes, dried fruit, a small wedge of cheese, and a jar of honey. “This is generous. Thank you.”
“I thought you might need a few things before the journey back to Bronmuir,” Kate said, settling onto one of the wooden stools.
Elspeth’s hands stilled over the basket. “I haven’t decided if I’m going.”
“Oh.” She tried to hide her surprise. “I thought... after yesterday...”
“Connor offered out of duty,” Elspeth said quietly. “Not because he wants me there.”
“That’s not true,” Kate countered. “He’s genuinely concerned for you.”
Elspeth gave her a measured look. “You dinna know our history.”
“Then tell me,” Kate suggested gently. “Help me understand.”
His sister was quiet for a moment, her fingertips tracing the grain of the old table. When she finally spoke, her voice was low, steady with the weight of memory.
“I was father’s favorite. The only daughter after five sons. He spoiled me, I suppose, even as he ruled the others with an iron will. He expected greatness from his sons, most especially Cameron. As the eldest, he was meant to inherit the lairdship. Father pushed him harder than the rest, demanded more, always more. It made Cameron strong, but it also made him keen to be seen for who he was, not just the heir.”
She nodded, imagining what it must have been like growing up in a household ruled by such expectations.
“But Connor…” Elspeth went on, her gaze drifting, eyes clouded with things long kept buried. “He was two years younger than Cameron. And though our father never spoke it plain, we all knew he never saw Connor as fit to lead. Said little, thought too much. Too quiet. But after our mother passed, it was Connor who held us together. He did the work that earned no glory but mattered most. Tended wounded after raids. Took food to crofters in the snow. Looked after me.”
She swallowed hard. “When our father soured with grief and rage, it was Connor who stood before me. Took the blame. Shielded me from his disappointment, the lash of it.”
Her voice thickened. “And how did I repay him for that kind of love? I followed my foolish heart and ran off with a MacKenzie. I brought shame to our name and left Connor with the broken pieces. I havenae seen him since that night. I can only imagine what wrath our father visited down on him, but I know who bore the brunt. Always Connor.”
Emotion swelled in her voice, proud yet trembling. “I hurt the only brother who never once hurt me. And I’ve no right to ask his forgiveness.”
“You fell in love,” Kate said softly. “That’s not a crime.”
“It is when yer clan’s been feudin’ wi’ his longer than any of us can remember,” Elspeth replied with the wry ghost of a smile. “But love makes fools of us all, does it not? I believed what Alasdair swore, that his people would welcome me, that we’d build a fine life together.” Her hand drifted to rest protectively over the swell of her belly. “I didna ken he was already promised to another.”
She winced. “I’m so sorry.”
Elspeth straightened her spine, pride stiffening her frame. “Dinna be. I made my choice. And I’ve learned to live wi’ what followed. But Connor…”
She exhaled long and slow. “He tried to stop me, ye ken. That night. Met me at the gates. Begged me to think again. Said no good would come of loving a MacKenzie.”
“He was trying to protect you,” Kate said.
“Aye, he was. And I flung his care back in his face. Told him he was just like father. Controlling. Blind to what mattered.” Her lips parted as if to say more, but it took a moment for the words to come. “The last thing I said to him was that I hoped never to see him again.”
The weight of that admission hung in the air between them. She could imagine the scene, a younger Connor, desperate to protect his sister from what he saw as a terrible mistake. A headstrong Elspeth, determined to follow her heart regardless of the cost.
“People say things they don’t mean when they’re hurt or angry,” she said finally. “I’m sure Connor knows that.”
“Perhaps.” His sister moved to the small window, gazing out at the misty hills. “But there’s knowing and then there’s forgiving. I’m not sure he’s capable of the latter, not after what my actions cost the clan.”
“What do you mean?”
“The feud between the MacLeods and MacKenzies has always been bitter, but my... indiscretion made it worse. Alasdair used my feelings to gain information about Bronmuir’s defenses, about patrol schedules and vulnerable points.”
Elspeth’s voice was hollow with self-recrimination. “I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, but the result was a raid that cost three MacLeod lives.”
Kate inhaled sharply. “Connor never mentioned that.”
“He wouldn’t. He’s too honorable to lay that blame at my feet, even though we both know where it belongs.” Elspeth turned back to face her. “So you see, it’s not as simple as coming home. Some wounds run too deep for healing.”
“I don’t believe that,” Kate said firmly. “If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that it’s never too late to mend what’s broken. Especially between family.”
His sister studied her curiously. “You speak as if from experience.”
She thought of her own family. Her parents’ disappointment when she’d chosen a career in the dating industry over law school, the months of strained conversations and awkward holiday dinners before they’d finally reached an understanding. “Let’s just say I know something about stubborn pride and the damage it can do.”
“And were you able to mend what was broken in your family?” Elspeth asked.
“Yes,” Kate said softly. “It took time, and humility on both sides. But worth it, in the end.”
Elspeth was quiet for a moment, considering. “You care for my brother, don’t you? Not just as a friend.”
The direct question caught her off guard. “I... It’s complicated.”
“Life usually is,” Elspeth said with a small smile. “But I see the way you speak of him, the light in your eyes. And I saw how he looked at you yesterday, like a man who’s found something precious and unexpected.”
Kate’s heart fluttered at the observation. Had Connor really looked at her that way? “Even if that were true, I won’t be here forever.”
“None of us will,” Elspeth replied, misunderstanding her meaning. “But that’s all the more reason to seize happiness where we find it, isn’t it?”
Before she could respond, a shadow fell across the doorway, followed by a sharp knock that made both women jump.
“Kate?” Connor’s voice, tight with barely contained anger, cut through the morning stillness. “Are you in there?”
His sister shot Kate a sympathetic look. “My brother sounds displeased.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” she muttered, moving to open the door.
Connor stood on the threshold, his expression thunderous. Behind him, Ewan waited with the horses, studiously avoiding eye contact.
“What part of ‘stay in camp’ was unclear to you?” Connor demanded.
Kate lifted her chin. “I brought Elspeth some supplies. I didn’t go far.”
“These borders are not safe,” Connor said through gritted teeth. “The MacDonalds patrol regularly, and if they found you?—”
“But they didn’t,” Kate interrupted. “I’m fine. I just wanted to help.”
His jaw worked as he visibly struggled to control his temper. “We need to return to camp. Now.”
“Don’t be angry with her, brother,” Elspeth said, stepping forward. “Kate was kind enough to bring me provisions. Something I’m in need of, living alone.”
His gaze shifted to his sister, his expression softening almost imperceptibly. “You shouldn’t be alone out here, Elspeth. It isn’t safe.”
“So you’ve said,” she replied. “Though I’ve managed well enough these past months.”
A tense silence stretched between the siblings, years of hurt and misunderstanding creating an almost tangible barrier. She looked from one to the other, seeing the same stubborn set to their jaws, the same pride in their bearing. They were so alike, these two, both too proud to take the first step toward reconciliation.
“Elspeth told me about the night she left,” Kate said quietly. “About what she said to you.”
Connor’s eyes narrowed. “That’s between my sister and me.”
“Is it?” Kate challenged. “Because it seems to me that you’re both carrying around guilt and hurt that’s poisoning any chance of healing. You think you failed to protect her, and she feels responsible for betraying the clan.”
“Kate,” Connor warned, but she pressed on.
“Life is too short and too precious to waste it on pride. Believe me, I know.” She gestured to Elspeth. “Your sister needs her family. And you need her too, whether you’ll admit it or not.”
For a moment, he looked like he might argue further. Then, with a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul, he turned to Elspeth.
“Is this true? Do you blame yourself for the raid?”
Elspeth nodded, unable to meet his eyes. “I was blind. Foolish. I told Alasdair things I shouldn’t have, never suspecting he would use them against our clan.”
“You weren’t the only one who was blind,” Connor said quietly. “I knew something was wrong. His interest in you seemed... convenient. But I was so focused on proving myself to our father, on being the perfect son and warrior, that I didn’t see the danger until it was too late.”
Elspeth looked up, surprise evident in her expression. “You blame yourself?”
“How could I not? I’m your older brother. I should have protected you better.”
The admission hung in the air between them, raw and honest. Kate held her breath, watching as years of misunderstanding slowly began to unravel.
“I don’t need your protection,” Elspeth said finally. “I never did. What I needed, what I still need, is your acceptance. Your love, despite my mistakes.”
“You’ve always had that,” Connor replied, his voice rough with emotion. “Even when I was angriest, even when father disowned you... You’ve always been my sister. Nothing changes that.”
Elspeth’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ve missed you. All of you. Even Bronmuir, with its drafty halls and father’s ghost lingering in every corner.”
“Those halls don’t have to be drafty,” Connor said, a hint of a smile softening his features. “And father’s ghost holds no power over us now. Come home, Elspeth. Let me, let us, take care of you and the babe.”
For a long moment, Elspeth hesitated, years of independence warring with the longing for family and security. Then, slowly, she nodded.
“Alright. I’ll come.”
The simple acceptance broke something open between them. Connor crossed the small room in two strides, pulling his sister into a careful embrace that spoke more eloquently than words.
Kate watched, her own eyes stinging with unshed tears. This was what mattered, she thought, these moments of connection, of healing.
Later, as they rode back to camp, Connor kept his horse close to Kate’s, the earlier anger seemingly forgotten.
“That was a foolish risk,” he said, but the heat had gone from his voice. “The MacDonalds?—”
“I know,” Kate interrupted. “It was reckless. But I couldn’t just sit in camp doing nothing when I knew Elspeth was alone and pregnant and probably scared, even if she’d never admit it.”
Connor studied her for a moment, his blue eyes thoughtful. “You have a way of seeing through people’s defenses. It’s... unnerving.”
“Is that a compliment or a complaint?” Kate asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Both, perhaps.” A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Though I’m grateful for it today. What you did for Elspeth and me... I won’t forget it.”
The simple sincerity in his voice warmed her more than any elaborate praise could have. “She loves you. She just needed to know you still love her too, despite everything.”
“I’ve never stopped,” he admitted. “But pride... It’s a difficult thing to overcome.”
“Tell me about it,” Kate said with feeling. “I come from a long line of stubborn people myself.”
“Your family in America,” Connor said. “You rarely speak of them.”
She tensed slightly, aware that she was treading on dangerous ground. “There’s not much to tell. My parents wanted me to follow a different path than the one I chose. It caused some tension.”
“And now?”
“We’ve reconciled,” she said truthfully. “They’ve come to accept that I need to make my own choices, even if they don’t always understand them.”
Connor nodded, as if this made perfect sense to him. “Family is... complicated. But essential.”
“Yes,” she agreed softly. “Essential.”
They rode in companionable silence for a while, the beauty of the Highland landscape unfolding around them. She found herself stealing glances at his profile, admiring the strong line of his jaw, the quiet confidence in his bearing. He had shown such vulnerability with Elspeth, such capacity for forgiveness. Would he be as understanding if he knew the truth about her?
The thought of the brooch tucked safely in Connor’s sporran nagged at her conscience. She should tell him the truth, about who she was, where she came from, how she had arrived in his time. He deserved that honesty, especially now, when trust was growing between them.
But what if he didn’t believe her? What if he thought her mad, or worse, a witch? The 17th century was not known for its tolerance of the inexplicable. And even if he did believe her, would he help her return to her own time? The thought of leaving him, of never seeing him again, created an ache in her chest that was becoming harder to ignore.
“You’re quiet,” Connor observed, breaking into her thoughts.
She managed a smile. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
“Choices,” she said honestly. “The ones we make, the ones we regret, the ones we’re still facing.”
His gaze was penetrating, as if he could sense the weight of the decision she was wrestling with. “Sometimes the hardest choice is the one we know we must make, but fear to face.”
“How do you know which choice is right?” Kate asked, the question slipping out before she could stop it.
“I don’t know that we ever can, not with certainty,” Connor replied thoughtfully. “But I believe that when we act from love rather than fear, we rarely go wrong.”
The simple wisdom of his words struck her deeply. Was she acting from love or fear? Was her reluctance to tell him the truth about herself born of genuine concern for his reaction, or was she simply afraid of losing what they were building together?
As they crested a hill, the camp came into view below, a small cluster of tents beside a stream, smoke rising from a cooking fire. Tomorrow they would meet with the MacDonalds, attempt to negotiate Cameron’s release. The danger was real, the stakes impossibly high.
Kate was just shifting in the saddle to get a better look when Connor’s voice cut into her thoughts.
“You disobeyed me.”
The heat of his words made her blink, caught off guard. “What?”
“I told ye to stay with Fergus and Alec. You didn’t.”
“I just—” She blinked in surprise, then lifted her chin. “I was worried. I didn’t go far, and when I saw there was no danger, I?—”
“You don’t ken what danger looks like out here.” His tone wasn’t angry exactly, but there was steel threaded through it. “If that had been a trap, you’d have been the first to fall into it. I give orders for a reason, not to hear myself speak.”
Her pulse pounded, and she fought the urge to lash back. He wasn’t wrong, even if her pride bristled at the reprimand. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I just thought?—”
“That you knew better than a man who’s lived on these lands his entire life?”
She dragged in a breath and let it out slowly. “No. I only wanted to help.”
“I ken that. But help me by staying alive,” he said softly. “Next time I give an order like that, I expect ye to heed it. I’ll not risk you.”
The words stung more for the care woven between them. The fear she’d glimpsed in his eyes earlier was still there, hidden behind frustration and responsibility.
She swallowed. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
He held her gaze for a long moment before nodding. “Good.”
The tension between them lingered, taut and crackling, until finally he let out a long breath, his voice softening. “Thank you.”
“For what?” she asked, surprised.
“For Elspeth. For... seeing what needed to be done.” His words were quieter now, sincere.
The gratitude in his eyes made her heart swell. “You’re welcome,” she said, still a little breathless from their exchange.
He looked toward the camp below, then back to her. “When this is over, when Cameron is home and Elspeth is settled at Bronmuir...” He hesitated, clearly uneasy in territory he couldn’t fight his way through. “There are things I would speak with you about. Important things.”
Kate’s pulse quickened. “What kind of things?”
He held her gaze, steady, warm with an emotion she dared not name. “The future. Possibilities. If you’re willing to hear them.”
“I’d like that,” she said softly, meaning it despite the complications she knew loomed ahead. Tomorrow would bring the confrontation with the MacDonalds, a day fraught with danger and uncertainty. Beyond that waited choices she hadn’t fully admitted she’d need to make. About the brooch, her origins, her place in this time.
And about the man beside her.