Chapter 4
As Kate stood there, fuming, she wondered if she was being too hard on him.
It was pretty obvious from his reactions that Hildie's handler, Devin's best friend, had been lost, a trauma he still wasn't over.
"Anyway," she said, softer, her ire deflating, "think about it.
She might like to work again is all I'm saying.
Obviously, she's very intelligent, having done the job she's done.
Maybe you can teach her to herd or put a pack on her and she can carry your tools and water.
Some animals like having a job, like staying engaged.
Or you could get another dog, that might help. "
Devin took a moment to digest her words. While he did, a sense of depression came over her.
She'd given his bad attitude the benefit of the doubt.
Had been understanding. But maybe that was part of her problem.
She'd repeatedly done the same thing with Holden.
Though Holden and Devin were like day and night.
Holden had never gone to war, seen horrors, lost friends…
No. Holden and Devin weren't even close.
So maybe it was a mistake to lump them together.
Maybe she should be giving him a lot understanding.
It was clear Devin loved Hildie. The devastation that flashed in his eyes when he mentioned his friend, the horror at the very idea he might have failed Hildie in some way—that was where his harsh tone and defensiveness had come from.
And she thought animals were easy to read.
Devin MacLaren was an open book. All one had to do was look into his eyes, look past the quietness, the hot bod and rugged face, and they'd see a wounded man.
Maybe it wasn't just Hildie who needed help.
After leaving it at that and telling Devin she had to go, Kate left the farmhouse.
"No, no, no," she muttered to herself as she walked the bike down the lane.
"Not getting involved. Not getting involved.
" She knew well her weakness for wounded animals.
She'd always been drawn in, rescuing birds, mice, bunnies, and anything else she found in her backyard or neighborhood growing up on Long Island.
Once she moved to the city, starting her own pet business had been a no-brainer.
It had begun with pet sitting gigs, then walking, then grooming, until she had a good reputation and enough repeat clients to open her own place.
A place that had crumbled in the wake of Holdenmort.
And now she had to start over. She had enough on her plate.
When she reached the dirt road, she decided on biking on in the opposite direction of her cottage, curious as to what lay on the other side of the high hill.
Cresting the top, the land dipped in a gentle slope toward the loch again, the road continuing on to meander along the loch's edge.
The ruins of the old Castle MacLaren sat at the bottom of the hill, on a piece of land that jutted into the loch.
Instead of going down, she pushed the bike onto the grass, noticing the beaten down footpath that led to a spot where the hill dropped off dramatically, giving her the perfect view of the ruins and the loch.
Kate sat down in the grass and just stared, stared until tears pricked her eyes and her heart hurt.
"Love this spot."
Kate jerked at the sound of Devin's voice, immediately wiping her eyes.
"Are you crying?" Concerned, he sat beside her and Kate wanted to die of embarrassment.
"It's not what you think."
"What? That I was not being an ass just now? That you gave me your time and I acted like I didn't appreciate it?"
"All true," she said with a wan smile, finally looking at him. Hildie was sitting in the grass next to him. "But, no, that's not why I'm crying."
He stayed quiet for a moment, staring out over the ruins and the loch. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I don't usually treat people that way…" She could tell by how uncomfortable he sounded that those words were probably true. "Usually just avoid people altogether these days."
At her glance, he gave her a solemn shrug. She could relate. "Not fit for company, huh?"
"Something like that."
"Yeah. Me neither." She wiped at her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and smiled. "Shitty times, basically."
He nodded as though he understood. "Can't be all that bad, is it?" He leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out in front of him.
Kate snorted. "Twelve years worth of work and money, my entire business, lost. Yeah. It's that bad."
Dev let out a heavy breath and sat back up. "Twelve years is a long time."
"Tell me about it. Things were going good, too. Expanding. And I didn't even see it coming. Okay, well, maybe there were signs, but I was too stupid to add them up. Or maybe I just didn't want to see."
"What happened?"
Kate looked over again. He had a nice face.
Rugged. Straight nose, good bones, sexy mouth.
There were crinkles around his eyes and a wicked slant to his eyebrows.
But it was those solemn, honest eyes that won her over, and she found herself talking, telling him everything and ending with her trip here.
"It's a good place to come. I don't know what it is… The land, the views, the air. Quiets the soul."
Kate gave him a surprised look.
"What?" A grin pulled on one corner of his mouth, snagging her attention.
"That's pretty deep."
He didn't elaborate or explain and it only made her more curious about him. He was a soldier, a carpenter, a dog lover, a Scot—well, half Scot, but still… And apparently he was pretty deep, too.
She stood suddenly, spurred on by a bit of panic, by the emotions he made her feel. She didn't want to feel anything. "I probably should go."
Dev rose and picked up her bike, his hands resting on the handle bars. "You don't have to leave, Kate."
She grabbed the bike, but he didn't let go. "Yeah. I do." If he knew the things going through her mind, he'd probably dive right off the ledge they were on. "See ya around." He released the bike.
She left without looking back.
Once on the road, she hopped on the bike and coasted down the hill, heading toward the cottage. As much as she'd fantasized about coming to Scotland and finding love, now was not the time, In fact, it was the worst time possible. Figures. Because Devin MacLaren could definitely be a contender.
Dev stood in the middle of the road and watched Kate disappear down the hill.
He hadn't liked what she'd told him. Her entire business ruined by a friend, some asswipe who'd used her, betrayed her, and took everything she had.
No wonder she hadn't taken any of his crap.
Good for her. Of course now he felt even worse for the way he'd treated her.
As he started down the hill, he thought of the tension between them.
A current, a snap of electricity. Question was, would he do anything about it?
He wanted to. He wanted to do a lot about it.
But she had too much on her plate. She was vulnerable.
Though, she hadn't seemed so vulnerable when she let him have it back at the house.
Maybe Kate could handle herself just fine.
And maybe, just maybe, he could admit to himself that he was tired of being alone.
Tired of working himself to the bone all day and evening, then falling into bed at night so exhausted that he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.
There was a reason he pushed himself so hard.
Being exhausted meant no mental drifting before he fell asleep.
Mental drifting usually led to nightmares.
Sometimes being exhausted worked. Sometimes it didn't. Sometimes the nightmares came anyway.
And sometimes they came in the light of day, like a bloody freight train, fast and clear as day, without warning.
He'd have to sit down where he stood. His body would shake and break into a sweat.
And Hildie, beautiful brave Hildie—who'd walked in front of his unit sniffing out bombs, looking for trouble, doing her job without fail—would sit down beside him, lean into him, and lick his face until his arm went around her and he calmed down.
She knew. She sensed his distress and she cared. And it burned him that now, when she was obviously in need, he didn't know how to return the favor.
"We're a mess, aren't we, girl?" She glanced up at him, tongue lolling as he scrubbed the fur on her head.
"So what'd ya say? You want to work? Give this a try?
Maybe we'll find you a friend, too, huh?
A brother or sister." She looked at him with such belief and loyalty. "We'll figure it out. You and me."