Chapter 7
Terry followed Kate down the road and away from the lodge. She was glad he chose to come because if he hadn't, she might have sat right there in the dirt and gravel and cried like a baby.
What a disaster.
What the hell was wrong with her? She'd kissed a man in a full blown anxiety attack. Maybe she should just tattoo IDIOT across her forehead.
She might be good with dogs, but obviously, once again, she sucked with people.
When Devin's eyes glazed over… She hadn't known how to help him, how to get him to focus and breathe.
Even now, she could taste the panic, the helplessness.
She'd considered slapping him, like in the movies, but he was a soldier; there was no telling how he would've reacted to that—she might have been out of her element, but she wasn't stupid.
So she kissed him, thinking gentle was the way to go. Thinking distraction was the way to go.
Truth was, she hadn't been thinking at all.
She'd been terrified and desperate to help him. The look in his eyes had scared the hell out of her. And now she wept for him. She couldn't help it.
And Hildie… Oh, she understood the dog better than ever now and her heart expanded.
What an amazing dog. Smart. Loyal. Brave.
Hildie had assumed a new role all on her own, sensing Devin's attacks, alerting him, and staying with him through them.
Kate could still hear the scratching and barking ringing in her head.
Hildie had desperately wanted to get to Devin.
And when she had, Kate was in the way. Hildie had no reason to trust her.
None at all. Kate wasn't sure she trusted herself.
Eventually, the woods thinned, and the sky grew purple and orange with the setting sun.
As her anger cooled, her steps slowed. Terry stopped on the ridge ahead and waited.
He was a good boy. One that probably had a loving home, a family who was missing him.
When she got back, she'd ask Lucy to help make a flyer in hopes someone would claim him.
Too bad she couldn't keep him. He was smart boy. He might even make a great service dog. Just the touch of an animal could calm a person, lower their fear, their blood pressure... It was incredible the difference an animal could make.
Working dogs amazed her. Always had. And today they made her wonder why she never pursued that side of her canine love affair.
Thanks to Holdenmort she had to start over.
Maybe it was time to switch gears, to work in the training field after all, training service dogs, making her own kind of difference.
Once the idea sparked, Kate couldn't seem to think of anything else.
Until Terry barked and zipped past her going the wrong way.
Turning, Kate eyed the road behind her. There was nothing there. Then she heard another bark.
A few seconds later, she saw a broad-shouldered figure appear, cresting the hill, jogging slowly, methodically toward her. Her nerves went chaotic. She couldn't deal with him right now.
She spun and started walking away before thinking better of it. Avoiding him now would make her more of a jerk than she'd already been. With a deep breath in and reluctant breath out, she finally turned around only to find Dev standing there barely winded.
Her stomach did an elaborate flip. She swallowed. He really was a beautiful man. If only that was all there was to him, but there was so much more. So much she was filled with emotion—hurt, confusion, fear, exhilaration. Devin MacLaren disrupted everything.
And more than anything, at that moment, Kate wanted out. Wanted him gone. Wanted to breathe normally. "Look, sorry about all that—"
"Hamish stole the spark plugs from my truck," he said at the same time.
Kate blinked. "What?"
"Hamish," he explained. "He's a little obsessed with the whole matchmaking thing since Ian and Lucy got together. Point is, I can't drive you back."
She hadn't asked him to. Being in a confined space with Devin was the last thing she wanted. "I was, uh, already walking back. It's fine."
"It's a long way."
"I remember."
An awkwardness settled between them. She wasn't a fan of awkward. She'd rather be caught skinny dipping again than this.
He scratched the back of his head, looking a bit perplexed and confused. "It'll be dark soon."
"Yep." She glanced at the beautiful sky awash in color. "I'm not afraid to walk in the dark. There's nothing around for miles. And I have Terry with me."
"All right."
Relief washed over her. Thank goodness. She gave Devin a quick nod, turned, and started down the road. He fell in step beside her. "What are you doing?"
"Walking back. Need my spark plugs."
Hildie and Terry ran ahead, and for a long time the only sound between them was the crunch of their shoes on the road and the occasional call of wildlife.
The twilight grabbed Kate's attention. It was soft and muted and gave a fragile quality to the landscape around them.
This was the gloaming she'd always read about in Gram's books.
And here she was walking in it with a Highlander by her side.
"Lucy's taken some amazing pictures," Devin said, casting a look to the sky. "Right after sunset. Those are my favorites."
"The gloaming. Is that how you say it?" she asked, hoping her pronunciation was right.
"Aye."
She smiled at his response. "You know you go back and forth between accents."
He digested that and gave a consenting shrug. "We all do, my brothers and I."
"Was it hard? Deciding to live here rather than back home? Lucy said your mom is back there."
Devin thought for a moment. "In some ways it was.
In others, easy. I've been away so long already.
.. My mom loves it here. She would've been disappointed if we'd sold the land.
" A soft laugh escaped him. "Disappointed is a nice word for what she'd have been.
" They continued on a few more steps before Devin continued.
"The place is special to her. Lots of memories of us and my dad here.
She might be sixth generation American, but she's mostly Scot.
Think it gives her a lot of pride that we're here, back on home soil. "
Kate caught Devin's eye and smiled at the slight embarrassment in his tone.
He wasn't a guy who talked much about his family, about what they, and the land, meant.
"I bet she's really proud of you. Of all her sons.
" And she'd get to meet the woman at Lucy's wedding.
Not only was Lucy's life changing, but so was Kate's—dramatically so.
"Can't believe Lucy is getting married and will live—" she swept her hand to the panoramic view— "here.
Raise her kids here. Can you imagine?" It was amazing, the way life could change so quickly.
"And one day I'll be an aunt. Sort of. Second cousin really. "
The idea of mini Lucys running around brought a well of happiness to Kate. Of course that meant she was linked to Devin and the entire MacLaren family forever. A sobering thought, especially considering the start they'd gotten off to.
And the kiss. God, that kiss…
The instant she thought of it, her body went nervous and warm. He'd kissed her back. He'd pleaded with her to keep her mouth on his and she understood why. Because it had worked. Because it had pulled him out of whatever dark hell he'd fallen into.
He'd kissed her like she was his lifeline, and in that moment she had been.
It hadn't been that long ago that she'd dreamed of Holden kissing her like that, to feel a man put everything he had in it, to lose himself, to be consumed.
An inward sigh blew through her. There had to come a time in her life when she'd find a guy who was so into her, he'd kiss like that, not because of an anxiety attack, but solely because of her.
Like nothing else mattered. Like she was all that mattered.
Ha. Fat chance of that, her inner cynic shot back.
"What's so funny?"
"What?"
"You just snorted," Devin told her.
Kate frowned. "Girls don't snort." His brows lifted, but he remained silent. "Okay, fine, we do."
After a while Devin spoke up again. "Sorry about before…" Kate glanced over quickly, catching his wry smile. "Don't usually do that in front of people. Embarrassing as hell," he admitted, letting out a heavy sigh.
There went her pulse again. "No need to apologize."
"Well, for what it's worth. Thanks."
Kate winced. Did he just thank her for kissing him? "Really. It was nothing…"
Devin's soft, sheepish chuckle made her cheeks hot. "It was more than that. A lot more."
They fell quiet again. She could tell he wanted to say more, but either he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted or he was showing mercy and letting it end on that lovely note.
Which was fine by her.
It took over an hour, if not more—she was pretty sure it was more, way more—to make it back to the road leading to her cottage.
The moon was high and bright. And the sky was dark and full of shiny stars—she'd never seen them so clearly before.
The air had turned cool and damp, thick with the scents of the outdoors and the loch close by.
It made her feel alive and young, the atmosphere reminding her of late summer nights, hanging with Lucy and Riley, and the parties Riley would take them to in the woods and river near her house.
Walking in the night with Devin hadn't been as bad as it had started out. In fact, it was . . . nice. Having a big, strong man by her side, no pressure to carry on a conversation, just enjoying the peace and the beauty around them.
"You sure you don't want me to walk you to the cottage?" Devin asked.
"No, me and Terry can make it from here."
"Terry?"
"Terry. Ter. T-Dog. I'll use them all at some point."
Devin laughed, leaned down, and gave the Terry of Many Names a few strokes on the head as the dog pushed against his leg. "See ya later Big T." He straightened and gave her a thoughtful look. "So play date tomorrow?"