Chapter 12
"I can't believe I did this," Kate said, staring over the fire at Devin as he reached for another log. "I can't believe I slept with you."
Sparks shot into the dark sky as he tossed the branch onto the fire. "There are worse things," he said quietly, and Kate immediately felt like a jerk.
"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
He sat down on the opposite side of the picnic blanket.
He'd put everything back on except the T-shirt that had been beneath his flannel shirt.
Now that flannel gaped open revealing a chest that Kate was very familiar with and very attached to.
He looked so comfortable, completely at home on their little island in the loch.
And, yet, there was a vulnerability in his eyes mixed with the quiet sense of strength that always surrounded him.
Emotions swelled inside of her. She wanted him, all the good and all the bad. And it terrified her.
"All right," he draped his forearms over his bent knees and met her gaze. "What did you mean then?"
"I don't know… I just meant I didn't come here for this."
A brown eyebrow arched and he flicked his gaze to the novel lying discarded on the ground.
Did he think she'd come to Scotland to relive the things in that book?
There was some truth to that, she supposed, seeing as how that had been one of her fantasies for a long time.
But that wasn't why she'd come. Far from it.
And she was pretty sure he already knew that.
"I think you ought to leave Double H out of this. "
A smile tugged one corner of his mouth. "Double H, huh?"
Her eyes rolled to the night sky. "Please.
Like you didn't have fantasies growing up.
What was it? Playboys under the bed? Sexy French maid?
Italian beauty? British school teacher?" Yeah, she was pretty sure Devin had a ton of such fantasies in his past. No man could do the things he'd done to her and not have a vivid imagination, and most likely the experiences to back it up.
"All of the above I'm sure."
"See. Plus, that book isn't just sex you know. It's about relationships. Love. Overcoming all obstacles to be together and find happily ever after."
He eyed her a long minute, his gaze making her uncomfortable. There was definitely something cooking in that head of his. "Nothing wrong with that."
Heat stole into her cheeks. The last thing she wanted was to chat about happily ever after.
Things were too raw right now. She was still coming to terms with the fact that she'd actually slept with him.
With a sigh, Kate gathered her loose hair, twisted it, and tied it into a knot.
She could feel his eyes on her, tracking her movements, watching her, wanting her.
She released a low breath and tried to appear nonchalant when her body, on the other hand, was firing up again.
Jeez. That's all it took? For him to look at her?
"I'm not a big talker," he said with a wry smile at her snort.
"But I'm about to start…" Kate stilled. He paused a minute, and then continued.
"I've learned not to waste time. Learned life is short.
Too short to dance around the obvious things in life.
Too short to live in fear. Too short to play games or pass up on . . ."
Her heart pounded. Her throat had gone paper dry. But she didn't want him to stop. "On what?"
"Things that could lead to happily ever after."
"Oh."
Dev tried not to smile at the shocked and confused expression on Kate's face.
She blinked, frowned, and then gnawed on her bottom lip.
He was growing fond of that habit, finding it intensely sexy.
But then, he found everything about Kate sexy.
She was a blue-eyed beauty with a body that'd make the god's weep.
She was funny and sharp and not afraid to speak her mind. Independent. Strong.
It was clear she was having a tough time wrapping her head around his words.
He liked that about her, that he could read her so easily, that he'd never have to look at her and wonder about her mood.
They'd make some headstrong kids—oh, hell.
He did not just think that. Jesus. He plowed his fingers through his hair and let out a low, even breath.
His palms were sweating and he felt shaky inside.
Devin tried to be patient. He wanted her to ask him what he meant by his words so that he could explain more, but she stayed silent and had gone pale. And now he was so shaken, he wasn't sure he could continue.
Panic swept through him. He'd thought this was a good idea. He truly believed what he said—he didn't want to waste time. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he felt. And it didn't have to be complicated. Unless she made it complicated, which would mean she was scared.
Kate let out a semi-crazed laugh and rubbed both hands down her face. "Oh my God." Then she parked her gaze on him with a rather blunt look. "Are you for real?"
Well, at least she didn't sound scared. He'd take that as a good sign. "What do you think?"
"I think I barely know you."
"Bull." Her back went straight and fire came into her eyes with blinding speed.
It made him want to plant a kiss right on that frowning mouth of hers, but instead he gave it to her straight.
"What we don't know are the small details, the stories that make up our lives.
But I know you, Kate. And you know me too.
I'm not a great speaker, I can't even put it all into words. Sometimes you just know."
He wanted to rub his chest. It burned, and there was a lightness in his head that was making him a little queasy. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten so much. But, goddamn it, he was not going to look away. He wanted her to see the truth in his eyes.
Her intense scrutiny lasted what felt like hours. It was like she was trying to see into his soul, pick apart his words, find even a crumb of insincerity. And then her gaze went soft and vulnerable. "What are you saying?" she finally asked.
Fear slid inside, grabbing his throat in a hard grip.
Maybe he should have been careful what he wished for.
The night seemed to pause, waiting, like her.
Only the snap and pop of the fire, and the dance of the flames went on unaffected.
A wet nose nudged his hand. He glanced down and met Hildie's trusting eyes.
He slid his hand over her soft head as she lay down and rested her chin on his leg. She had his back. He'd be fine.
"What I'm saying, is that I'm falling for you, Kate." He winced. "No."
"No?"
"I'm not falling. I've already hit the ground." He played with Hildie's ears, pretty sure he was fucking it up in the worst way. "You could try to look a little less horrified."
She blinked, gaped, and then a blush spread across her cheeks. "Jesus, MacLaren. I'm not horrified. Okay, maybe a little. But it's not a bad thing," she rushed to reassure him.
"I'm pretty sure horror and good don't go together. Ever."
"How could you have fallen for me?" she blurted in a high, edgy voice.
He was a wreck, but Kate was about to have a nervous breakdown. Dev gave Hildie one last pat and then crawled across the blanket and sat in front of Kate. He shoved a strand of bangs behind her ear and smiled. "It's done. Accept it. Accept me."
If it was possible her gaze grew even bigger and Dev found himself lost in the tumultuous emotions swimming in a sea of blue.
His hand cupped her cheek. Damn it. He hadn't meant to make her cry.
But then she leaned in, let her forehead rest against his, and released a ragged sigh, her shoulders relaxing. Her hands came up and grabbed his face.
She pulled back to look at him. God, if she didn't say it back now he was done for. "You're crazy." He shrugged. Couldn't argue with that. She kissed him so sweetly he thought his chest would burst. "But I know who you are, Devin. I know who you are, and I want my happily ever after."
The relief that came was so great it knocked him off balance. "Thank God." He fell back, wrapping Kate in his arms and taking her with him.
Kate stared up at the dark sky, Devin's breathing deep and steady as he slept beside her. Her thoughts were all over the place. Where they'd live. How they'd manage. What she'd do about an income. If she thought too deeply, worry set in and then she'd stopped herself.
No. They'd make it work.
Devin was right. Life was too short to live in fear, to let worry drop roadblocks at your feet. They'd face each challenge as it came. She did know him. As weird as it was to consider and believe and act upon, she did. With every fiber, she knew his heart, the kind of man he was.
Hildie and Terry slept at their feet. Kate rose onto her elbows and glanced down at them.
Yeah, she had a plan. Training service dogs.
There was space here, two dogs to get her started, to help her learn, and a man who'd loved having a kennel full of furry friends.
Amazing how her life had gone from total ruin to the beginnings of something wonderful.
Dragging her gaze from the dogs, she studied the length of Devin's body.
Flat on his back, one arm thrown over his stomach, one leg bent.
She could eyeball him all day long. The man was a powerhouse of masculinity and had a near inexhaustible carnal appetite.
She was pretty sure there was kinky side in there, too.
It was always the quiet ones, she thought with a smile.
She'd found her Highlander and he was so much more than Alastair Stewart from Double H. So much more. And sometimes real life was better than fiction. Who knew?
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