Chapter Two
A few days later, having agreed with her firm to take a period of extended leave, Jessica was packed and ready to go home to Thistle Cottage.
She had messaged Kristen, who was working in Singapore until later in the month, to let her know she was going home to Scotland and that the flat would be empty.
The thought of seeing Loch Lomond again and having some space to just be was already making her feel marginally better.
She hoped that almost six weeks of fresh air, lots of rest and home-cooked food would be just the medicine that she needed.
Though she was slightly worried at her own lack of concern over being away from work for so long.
Once it would have been unthinkable. But a lot had changed and she reminded herself that this break would give her the chance to think about what she did next.
When she had called her parents to tell them she was coming home, her mum had whooped in delight and then put her on speaker phone so her dad could hear.
‘How long for, dear?’ asked her mum.
‘Um, probably until the new year.’
‘That’s wonderful!’ said her dad. ‘How are you managing to get all of that time off work though?’
‘I’ve got loads of holiday to take,’ she’d said quickly. ‘I thought it would be nice to spend it with you. Especially as Murray, Carolyn and Lexi will also be home. That’s if you don’t mind?’
‘Of course we don’t, Jess. It’s been ages since we saw you. It will be lovely to have you all here together — goodness, this is the best Christmas gift ever!’
Her throat had choked with emotion as she thought how sad her parents would be if they knew why she was really coming back for so long.
They didn’t need to know she was facing burnout from both work and her personal life.
She hadn’t been home since last year and she felt so guilty that she hadn’t made time to visit.
As the plane took off from Heathrow, Jessica thought about how much her life had changed since this time last year when she was looking forward to celebrating Christmas with Tim.
Her mind wandered to the early heady days when she and Tim had first started seeing each other.
She had actually bumped into him stumbling out of the office after another long day at work.
She was checking her phone, her head down, when she had walked into him not looking where she was going.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he’d said, catching her arm, and when she looked up at him, her eyes had locked on his.
It was like a thunderbolt moment which she had never had before.
‘It’s okay,’ she managed to stutter, unable to peel her eyes from his.
‘Let me buy you a drink to apologise,’ he said.
Her automatic response was to refuse. He could have been anyone.
But something made her accept. Maybe it was his American accent and his dark eyes and black hair.
But it was Friday night and she couldn’t remember the last time she had been to a pub.
And she didn’t have work the next day. ‘Okay, sure,’ she said casually. ‘Just the one though.’
A few minutes later they sat together in a crowded corner of a bar.
She gripped the glass and took a long gulp of the chilled Sancerre.
‘Good?’ he asked, his eyes fixed on hers.
‘Very,’ she replied, unable to take her eyes off his.
‘Cheers,’ he said, knocking his glass against hers. He was very close to her and he whispered in her ear. ‘It’s so loud in here. Shall we get out of here? If you want to . . .’ He’d looked at her suggestively.
Jessica felt a warm sensation in her stomach as she looked up at him.
He was tall and broad and wearing a navy designer suit with a crisp white shirt underneath.
His hair was dark and wavy and his eyes the darkest shade of brown she had ever seen.
They were almost black. She quickly finished the wine and, as she stood up, she felt slightly giddy, realising it wasn’t the effect of the alcohol but being in close proximity to this man.
A very good-looking man who smelled of sharp, woody and very expensive aftershave.
He gently touched her elbow and guided her towards the door.
As they walked along the pavement together, she felt as though a thread was pulling them closer and closer together until, all of a sudden, he was holding her hand and she was gripping it back.
And before she knew it, they were somehow back at her flat.
She woke in the middle of the night almost looking at him in disbelief when she realised he was still there in her bed.
He hadn’t been a dream. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips.
His eyes fluttered open and he gave her a sexy grin.
And from that moment on she was hooked. In the months that followed, they spent as much time together as they could, which was tricky due to the transatlantic nature of their relationship.
Tim had completely swept her off her feet.
Now as she walked through the brightly lit domestic arrivals hall at Glasgow Airport, her life couldn’t have been more of a contrast. She scanned the rows of people waiting to collect friends and family. She couldn’t see her parents and felt herself growing anxious until she heard her name.
‘Jess! Over here, Jess.’
It was her dad’s voice. She looked around and saw him standing with a wide smile on his face a few metres away. She ran towards him. ‘Daaad.’
‘Oh, Jess. My wee Jess. It is so good to see you.’ He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head.
Despite being thirty-two, she immediately felt like a little girl again, and as the enormity of the past year started to catch up with her, she burst into tears. Which was exactly the very last thing she wanted to do. She hated worrying her parents.
‘Jess, what’s wrong?’ he said gently, stepping back to look at her with concern. Then he reached into his pocket and found a tissue.
Jessica took it and dabbed at her tears.
Her dad, Angus, had always been tall, but as she gazed up at him, she realised he had definitely shrunk.
His beard was greyer now rather than its usual salt and pepper look.
He also had more lines around his eyes which made him seem older, and the tears started to fall again.
Her dad looked at her, concern so evident.
‘I’m okay. Honestly,’ she said. ‘Just tired and emotional and glad to see you, Dad . . . Where’s Mum?’
‘Guess,’ he said with a roll of his eyes.
‘The loo?’
‘Yup,’ he said with a chuckle.
It was a long-standing family joke that her mum, Catriona, always made a beeline for the toilets wherever she was.
‘Catriona,’ said her dad gruffly with a wave. ‘Over here.’
Her mum ran towards her, beaming, but when she noticed her daughter’s blotchy face, she stopped smiling.
‘Oh, what’s the matter? Och, my darling, are you okay?
I can hardly believe that you’re here.’ She threw her arms around her.
‘Jessica, there’s nothing to you. Have you lost weight?
And you look so pale. Have you not been eating? We have been so worried you know.’
‘Catriona, are you going to take a breath and let the girl reply?’
Her mum stepped back and Jessica shook her head, aware that her face was now probably streaked with mascara. ‘I’m fine. Honestly. It’s just been a busy year. And I got a bit overwhelmed when I saw Dad.’
‘It’s probably your hormones,’ she said knowingly. ‘Or the planets. Mercury is in retrograde and that can put everything into a spin.’
Jessica clocked her dad giving her mum a look which meant please rein it in for now. Then he looked at her and rolled his eyes as if to say, here we go.
‘Anyway, the main thing is that you’re here, darling, and you can relax and be looked after for a change. You look utterly shattered.’ Mum paused. ‘I am glad you’re home and I promise we’ll take care of you. And we have you to ourselves for a bit before chaos descends.’
Jessica smiled knowing she was referring to Murray and Carolyn and little Lexi who were due to arrive in a couple of weeks.
‘It will be great to see them all. I still can’t believe I haven’t physically seen Lexi since she was a baby.
’ Her niece was now almost two years old and she did feel guilty that, since a quick trip to see her when she was born, she had only seen photos of her and waved hello when her brother FaceTimed her.
‘She’s a wee poppet,’ said her dad proudly. ‘But I suspect it will be full on when they arrive.’
‘Indeed,’ said Mum. ‘Which is why we’ve made a plan.’
Jessica tilted her head, intrigued. ‘What’s the plan?’
Her mum gestured towards the exit. ‘We’ll fill you in later. Come on. We’d better get back to the car before we need to remortgage the house to pay for the parking. This way.’
‘Here, let me take your bag, dear,’ Dad said, taking Jessica’s case from her and wheeling it effortlessly towards the exit.
‘Come on, troops,’ ordered Mum. She led the way as she bustled off towards the doors, her mass of grey curls trailing down the back of her cerise coat.
‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ said her dad conspiratorially. ‘She’s in full organisational mode. All I want is five minutes’ peace but she is having none of it.’
Jessica chuckled. Her dad didn’t need to say any more. She walked next to him as they tried to keep up with her mum, who was a woman on a mission, swiftly weaving her way through the other passengers on her route to the payment machine.
‘That’s an absolute outrage,’ said Catriona, exclaiming loudly at the cost of the ticket.
Jessica shook her head fondly and smiled even more when the other lady at the machine also started tutting and agreeing with her. How she had missed her mum.
‘I know, someone is having a laugh. Daylight robbery, so it is,’ said the woman with a dry chuckle. ‘Merry Christmas indeed.’
As she followed her parents to their car, Jessica felt a small weight lift from her shoulders.
Things might just be okay. It was the first time she had felt a glimmer of anything like that all year.
But now that she was home for Christmas she could hide away and perhaps emerge as a new woman in the new year.