Chapter Nineteen
It was just after ten the next morning when Jessica and her mum walked past Primrose Cottage.
The sun was hiding behind a dense bank of grey cloud.
Jessica tried to hide her utter dismay when she realised that Belinda’s car was still parked on the road.
She had obviously spent the night with him.
Jessica knew she had no right to feel anything at all — what Reuben did was none of her business.
But she couldn’t help feeling a stab of jealousy at the thought of them together.
She reminded herself that she had no right to stake any claim over Reuben, especially when he and Belinda were still married.
He may have told people they were separated, but clearly Belinda had a different idea on that.
‘Penny for them?’ said her mum as they made their way onto the high street. ‘You’re awfully quiet.’
She forced a yawn. ‘Just sleepy still. It’s quite early to be up and about at this time on a Sunday morning.’
‘Well, you’ll feel brand new in about an hour. I promise. Trust me,’ said her mum with a chuckle.
‘Hmm,’ she said, unconvinced. ‘I’ll take your word for it.
I still can’t believe I’ve agreed to sign up to this.
’ She had eventually been broken by her mum’s enthusiasm and agreed to give the loch-side sauna a go.
Her thoughts drifted again to Reuben and yesterday.
They seemed to have connected on some level when he opened up to her about his dad.
That’s what friends do, she reminded herself.
They talk to each other. But she also knew friends didn’t look at each other in the way that they had.
Just before Belinda had knocked on the door, it was as though time had been suspended between them.
After leaving Primrose Cottage, Jessica had curled up on the sofa at home and watched a movie, trying to put all thoughts of Reuben out of her head.
‘Did you know that cold water therapy is a thing,’ said her mum as she walked briskly towards the beach. ‘It’s definitely helped me feel calmer. Ask your dad.’
Angus had politely declined the invitation to join them, saying he was quite happy reading the paper by the fire.
Jessica had a feeling that he was making the most of her being home.
It was giving him a rest from her mum’s busy schedule.
‘I do believe you, honestly. I know wild swimming is all the rage now. It’s funny to think that people actually choose to go and swim in the loch or in the sea, especially at this time of year.
’ Her boots crunched over the frosted pebbles on the beach. ‘Saunas are springing up everywhere.’
‘Come on, this way,’ said Catriona, pointing towards the large wooden cabin at the far end of the shore.
As they neared it, she noticed the panoramic windows stretching along its entire length, with views right across the loch.
This could actually be better than she had thought.
She followed her mum’s lead as she went into the small, covered area at the back of the sauna for changing.
‘Hi, Emmet,’ her mum said, waving at the smiling man who had just come out of the sauna.
‘Morning, Catriona. Nice to see you again. I was just checking the temperature and all is good to go.’ He was very cheery and dressed from head to toe in moisture-wicking sports gear, with a bandana wrapped round his head.
‘Super,’ she said. ‘Meet my daughter, Jessica.’
He extended a hand. ‘Nice to meet you. Your mum talks about you all the time.’
Jessica shook his hand. ‘I hope it’s all good,’ she joked.
She couldn’t help noticing how enthusiastic he was when he spoke. He was what she would describe as a double-guns type of guy.
He laughed. ‘Of course.’ He pointed at the small wooden office that sat back from the bay. ‘I’ll be in there. Shout if you need me. And enjoy. It’s a wonderful way to start the day.’
‘Will do. Thanks, Emmet.’ Her mum turned to Jessica. ‘Just leave your stuff here and take in your towels,’ said Catriona, who quickly pulled off her jogging bottoms, trainers, sweater and coat. She’d come with her swimming costume on underneath. ‘And here are some flip-flops to put on.’
Jessica groaned. ‘It’s cold though.’
‘Tsk, come on. Once you’re in the sauna, you’ll be nice and toasty, and in fact, you’ll be desperate to get in the water to cool off. Honestly,’ she said briskly.
Jessica begged to differ. But she did as she was told and pulled off her clothes, glad she had followed her mum’s instructions to come wearing the costume she had lent her.
Then she slipped her feet into the flip-flops and followed her mum into the sauna.
The scent of fresh warm wood immediately greeted her and she sat down, transfixed by the view across the water, which this morning was as still as a pond.
‘It’s just like glass,’ she said, nodding towards it.
‘Isn’t this so peaceful and therapeutic,’ said Catriona.
‘It’s a bit of a treat, too, when you get the place to yourself like this.
Sometimes the sessions are fully booked and you can bump into all sorts in here.
The other week it was rammed. But there were quite a few people from the Christmas fair committee and we managed to get some things done. ’
‘That sounds interesting.’ Jessica pulled a face.
‘Let’s just say it was a meeting with a difference. I never thought I would be sitting in here with Iris chatting strategy. Goodness knows what the other folks must have thought.’
Jessica shuddered at the idea of a work meeting in a sauna.
Although she knew it was all the rage in Scandinavia.
Some of her colleagues had recently visited Finland on a business trip and after dinner they had been invited to enjoy a sauna and dip in the lake afterwards.
Evidently, Ivan had been horrified when he’d had to strip and sit naked opposite someone he had just been discussing strategy with.
She chuckled as she remembered Freda telling her about it and swearing her to secrecy.
Ivan would have been mortified if he knew his state of undress was the talk of the office.
Freda had, of course, relished it and been more than happy to sit completely starkers with the other women who had been debating a case with her in a boardroom an hour earlier. She chuckled at the thought.
‘It’s nice to see you smile, Jessica.’
Now they had been sitting in the sauna for at least ten minutes, she could feel the tension ease from her shoulders. ‘Well, Mum, I have to say that this is better than I thought.’
‘It’s far nicer to do something like this in the outdoors than be crammed in a gym like hamsters on wheels.’
Jessica agreed. Although there was a gym at work, which was open twenty-four hours, it was windowless and the bright lighting always gave her a headache.
She much preferred running outside along the river.
Although she had packed her running things, she hadn’t felt like going out since arriving home.
Maybe her mum’s suggestion of trying the sauna and going in the loch would be more refreshing and an easier way to boost her endorphins.
She was about to find out as her mum had just clocked the timer on the wall above her head.
‘Time to cool off,’ said Catriona. ‘That’s our fifteen minutes up. Come on, Jess.’
Seconds later they were both immersed in the freezing loch.
‘Remember to take slow breaths and that will help you feel less panicked.’
Jessica tried it. Her mum was right. It definitely helped calm the fear of being in the baltic water. ‘Can we go back in now?’ she said after she’d managed to count to about forty in her head.
‘Of course. It will be easier the next time. I promise.’
Jessica wasn’t convinced. Back inside, she was grateful for the warmth again and the sweet smell of cedar. ‘Belinda came by to see Reuben last night,’ she said suddenly, curious to see her mum’s reaction. ‘I was there getting the tour.’
‘Oh,’ she said, pursing her lips. ‘That’s strange. She works in Dubai. They’ve been separated for a while. Maybe she’s back for a flying visit. Let’s hope so. Tell me about Gillian — how is she doing?’
Jessica noted her mum’s change of topic.
She clearly didn’t want to linger on the subject of Reuben and Belinda.
Jessica had briefly mentioned she had run into Gillian at the fair.
But that was all she had told her mum. ‘We’re going to go for a coffee in the morning and catch up properly. She seems a bit stressed.’
Catriona nodded. ‘She has a lot to deal with — her own mum, wee Millie and being on her own and juggling all she does at work. She has poured a lot of her time and energy into that bakery.’
Jessica pondered for a moment and tapped her feet excitedly on the wooden floor.
Whenever she thought about the bakery, she got a ripple of excitement.
She wanted to help Gillian, and the thought of doing something positive for the community was actually making her feel enthusiastic.
It was a feeling she hadn’t had for such a long time.
‘It’s got me thinking that I may try out my bread-making skills again,’ she said.
‘I’d love to be able to help out and volunteer. Even if it’s just a short-term thing.’
Her mum arched her eyebrows. ‘Hmm, yes that could be interesting.’
‘In fact, if it’s okay with you, I’ll have a wee play around in the kitchen this afternoon.’
‘Sounds good to me, dear. And I think we should have everything you need in the cupboards.’
‘I suppose I need the sourdough starter . . . which will take a while to make. But I’ll just see how I go today with what you have. It’s just an idea. I can talk more to Gillian tomorrow.’
‘Sounds a good plan, dear. Gosh, I’m hot,’ she said, wiping the back of her hand against her forehead. ‘Time for another dip.’
This time, Jessica breathed slowly as she entered the water and stayed in longer than the last time.
She managed to count to eighty. Her mum was right.
This was exhilarating and she could feel the endorphins start to take effect.
What a lovely way to spend an hour. By the end of the session, she felt calm but also invigorated.
‘You were right, Mum,’ she said as she quickly got dressed.
‘That was wonderful. I feel like I’ve had a really long workout. ’
‘I told you that you’d feel amazing! But I’m glad you liked it,’ she said, pulling her hat on. ‘It’s a great way to start the day. Especially when you go home and have a nice warm shower and a tasty breakfast.’
They walked back to Thistle Cottage in a companionable silence.
Then her stomach started to grumble, reminding her she was looking forward to tucking into her mum’s pancakes with bacon and maple syrup.
As they turned into their lane, she watched a robin hopping along the fence towards Reuben’s cottage.
It was almost as though it was trying to talk to her.
It stopped just by the door of Primrose Cottage.
Jessica smiled at it and realised how relieved she was that Belinda’s car was now gone.