Chapter Thirty-Two
Christmas was just four days away, and although it was Sunday, and the bakery was closed, Jessica had got used to rising early so this morning was dressed and downstairs before her parents.
It looked like the perfect day for a walk — the sky was blue and the sun was shining — and she picked up her phone to text her brother.
Hey, M. Are you up? Do you fancy a walk up Conic Hill?
It took less than a minute for him to respond.
She quickly scribbled a note to her parents to let them know where she was.
There hadn’t been much opportunity to catch up with Murray on his own since he’d arrived back.
She was excited and looking forward to a proper chat with her brother, and this could be the only chance they had.
She stood at the window of Thistle Cottage and waited and watched, waving at him when she saw him at his car.
‘It’s good you were up,’ she said.
‘I’m always up early,’ he said drily. ‘Having a toddler means saying goodbye to lie-ins.’
‘When did Lexi get up?’
He stifled a yawn. ‘At five o’clock. But I’ve just tucked her in beside Carolyn and she’s gone off again.’
‘That’s tough for you. You sure you don’t want me to drive?’
He winked. ‘Thanks, but it’s fine. I’d like to get there in one piece.’
‘Ha ha,’ she said. ‘Cheeky. Okay, let’s go.’
It didn’t take them long to get to Balmaha and she thought about the last time she had been here with Reuben then pushed the thought aside.
‘It’s been years since I’ve been here,’ said Murray. ‘Yet it still all looks the same.’ He glanced around. ‘It always feels like home.’
‘I know what you mean. I’ve missed this walk.
And remember when we were kids and Mum would take us on the ferry over to the island for picnics.
’ She pointed at Inchcailloch Island just across the water.
It was an uninhabited island which used to be home to a nunnery and then was a burial ground.
Now walkers and birdwatchers would go across to explore it.
Jessica had so many happy memories of exploring the woodland paths and having picnics on the beach.
‘I know. When you think about it, we really did have quite a magical upbringing,’ said Murray.
Jessica nodded in agreement. ‘We did. Come on then,’ she said, ‘let’s get going before I change my mind.
Oh, and there’s a great café there,’ she said pointing across the road.
‘We should go if there’s time. Reuben and I went the other week.
’ The words were out before she realised what she’d said and she clocked her brother giving her a look.
They made their way along the slushy path, which led them up through a wooded area and then through a small gate.
‘I forgot how steep this path was,’ said Murray.
‘And how many steps there are.’ Jessica looked up towards Conic Hill. She didn’t like to think how many steps there were still to climb.
‘It will be worth it when we get to the top though. It’s a view I love. And look how beautiful it all looks with that blanket of snow,’ said Murray, gesturing across the land. ‘Just watch your footing in case any of it is slippery.’
They both focused on climbing and then slowed their pace so they could hold a conversation. ‘So, how are things in Melbourne then? How does it feel to be home?’
Murray was an accountant in Melbourne. He and Carolyn had moved over there five years ago after he was offered an incredible promotion.
‘It’s still great. We love the weather and the lifestyle.
But . . . since having Lexi, it’s made us realise how much we miss family.
’ Carolyn’s parents had both died before they moved to Australia but she was still close to her brothers who both lived in Edinburgh.
They were planning to go and visit them after Christmas.
‘I can understand that. We miss you too. And Lexi is growing up so fast.’
‘I know. Anyway, we shall see what happens. No plans to do anything major yet,’ he said quickly.
Jessica knew he didn’t want to talk more about what their future plans might entail. Murray had always played his cards close to his chest, too.
‘What about you? I get the sense it’s not been an easy year for you.’
She shrugged and dipped her head. ‘Nope. But I feel much better having been home for a few weeks. I’m glad I took some time away from work.’
He watched her curiously and waited for her to expand.
‘Work has been stressful. And . . .’ Her voice trailed away.
‘Mum told me about the guy you were seeing. I am sorry, Jess.’
She looked across at Murray and grimaced. ‘Yes. It wasn’t ideal.’
‘I wish you’d told me, you know.’
‘I didn’t really tell anyone. It was too difficult to talk about.’
He nodded, his expression full of compassion. ‘I can understand that.’
Jessica felt a tear form in the corner of her eye and she wiped it away. How she had missed seeing her brother and talking to him in person. She always opened up to him when they were physically together in the same place.
‘And it sounds like you’ve been spending time with Reuben?’ he said.
Her cheeks flushed. ‘Yes, but just as friends, Murray.’
Murray raised an eyebrow and gave her a knowing look.
‘Stop it,’ she said, growing flustered. ‘Stop looking at me like that. I know you’re jumping to conclusions. But we are just friends.’
He raised his hands defensively and laughed. ‘You are protesting a wee bit too much.’
Jessica stopped to catch her breath just as they reached the summit of the hill. ‘Will you be quiet and look at that view.’
They stood and admired the sight below of the string of islands in the loch which were in the exact line of the Highland Boundary Fault. She took a few gulps of fresh air and exhaled.
‘It’s obvious you both like each other,’ said Murray, looking at her curiously.
His words caught her off guard and she felt her heart start to race. ‘How so?’ she said trying to sound super casual.
‘Because I know my friend. He’s a pretty laid-back guy. But when we were all together the other day there was a definite tension between you both.’
Jessica looked at him and frowned in disbelief. ‘Really?’
He gave a small shrug, his lips curving into a smile. ‘Yup. What’s the story? Come on, Jess, spill the beans!’
She brushed her hands down over her jacket and tried to keep a neutral smile on her face.
‘Nothing’s going on. Except . . . Well, he’s been a bit off with me since last week.
’ She paused, thinking back to the fun she thought they’d had, until Reuben suddenly started acting strangely.
‘But that’s all on him,’ said Jessica briskly. ‘I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.’
Murray rolled his eyes as if she was completely clueless. ‘It’s maybe about self-preservation, Jess.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Look at you. You’re a successful lawyer living in London and you’re only here temporarily. If there is something between you and believe me there is,’ Murray said teasingly, ‘perhaps he’s backed off because he’s afraid of getting hurt or making a mistake again.’
Jessica sighed. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I swore I would never again get involved with a married or separated man, and the baggage that brings—’ Jessica froze. What had she said?
‘What do you mean, again?’
She paused while she plucked up the courage to say the words out loud.
‘Because Tim was married,’ she said, her tone flat as she spoke. ‘But I didn’t find out until after he’d died. I had no idea.’