Chapter Thirty-Eight
Reuben stood up to close the shutters and took a steadying breath as he stared at the snow outside.
He was conscious that it was dark and people walking past could see into his lounge.
He couldn’t quite believe that Jessica was here with him in his flat and the circumstances that had brought her here.
Reuben was furious at the way she’d been treated in town and hated to think what would have happened if he hadn’t been there.
He had been so worried about her and his priority was to get her away and make sure she was okay.
Even though he longed to wrap his arms around her, he didn’t want to overstep the mark especially when she’d had such a shock.
But he knew he hadn’t imagined the look in her eyes today.
He had to stop himself from kissing her at the train station even though he desperately wanted to.
But first he knew he owed her an apology.
He turned round and went to sit down beside her on the sofa. ‘I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I’ve been offhand with you.’ His eyes searched hers. ‘I didn’t mean to be. I just didn’t know what to do with my feelings and that wasn’t fair on you.’
‘I thought I’d done something wrong,’ said Jessica quietly.
He shook his head. ‘It was me. I thought there was something between us especially after that kiss at the cottage. But then Belinda turned up and then I heard you on the phone at the inn. And I got the impression you weren’t interested because I had been married.’
She nodded. ‘Mum told me you’d come by to see me at the inn.’
‘I know. I did. It’s my own stupid fault. And I’m sorry. I should have spoken to you rather than jumping to conclusions.’ He waited, anxious that he hadn’t overstepped the mark.
‘I’m sorry. I think we’ve both been confused. I wasn’t talking about you on the phone, Reuben. I was talking about Tim.’ She glanced away. ‘After he died, I found out he’d been married.’
He gently tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. ‘And you thought I would judge you for it?’
She nodded. ‘I had no idea and if I had . . . then there’s no way I would have gone anywhere near him. I hate the thought of getting in the way of someone’s relationship.’
‘Well, I’m soon to be divorced which I know, on paper, may not be the best catch . . . but I am very much a free agent.’ He held his breath, waiting for her to respond.
She smiled and moved closer, leaning towards him and kissing him softly.
Reuben kissed her back, all the tensions and questions that had been hanging between them disappearing. When they pulled apart, she rested her forehead lightly against his.
‘Sorry to spoil the moment,’ she said with a gentle laugh. ‘But can I just go and freshen up?’
He cleared his throat. ‘Of course. It’s just through the hall and to the right.’ He watched her, his gaze unblinking.
Jessica stood up and shrugged off the blanket.
‘I’ll be right back,’ she said.
The butterflies he had in his stomach reminded him of being a teenager when he was awkward and fumbling and unsure of what to do.
It had been such a long time since he had made moves on anyone.
It was laughable to think he used to be described as a ladies’ man because, at the moment, he felt like the absolute opposite.
He wished he had consulted the guidebook on how to seduce someone romantically when you’d been out of the game for a while.
But when Jessica walked back into the room, he immediately noticed the change of expression on her face.
She was no longer looking at him with the longing of five minutes ago.
Now she looked withdrawn and he wondered what had happened in the time it had taken for her to cross the hall.
Had he left the bathroom in a mess? Were his pants lying on the floor or was there no loo roll? It didn’t make sense. What had he done?
‘You’re going away for Christmas?’ she said sadly, wrapping her arms around herself and leaning against the radiator.
His heart fell. The bloody suitcase. She must have seen it in the hallway. Why had he left it lying there in full view? He may as well have left a pile of travel brochures by the toilet as well. And some tubes of suntan lotion and a sombrero. He groaned inwardly knowing how it must look to Jessica.
‘I saw your case,’ she said, spelling it out.
He held up his hands. ‘Okay, But if you look inside, you’ll find it’s empty.
Just because my bag is out doesn’t mean a thing,’ he said, trying his best to make light of it.
‘I can understand you being annoyed if I’d left my Speedos out.
’ His attempt at humour didn’t work as Jessica looked at him as if someone had told her Christmas had been cancelled.
‘Okay, I was thinking about a trip and I did say to your mum and Murray that I might go away. After everything that has happened with Belinda and my dad. And then you . . .’ Reuben paused as if he was searching for the right words.
‘Well, things between us had changed and so I needed to clear my head. But I haven’t booked anything . . .’
‘And are you going to now?’ she said quietly.
Reuben stood and crossed the room towards her, overwhelmed by the rush of desire he felt. ‘Now, there is nowhere I would rather be than in this room with you.’
Standing close, his eyes searched hers as he rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip. ‘I’m definitely not going anywhere.’
She shivered. This time she reached up to press her lips against his. He kissed her deeply back.
She put her hands against his chest. ‘Are you sure about that? she said, her focus not wavering.
‘Yes,’ he said, his voice thick with emotion.
‘I realise that I can’t escape everything.
And I don’t want to. Because it doesn’t matter where I go, you’re always on my mind and in my head.
’ He leaned in and slowly grazed his lips over hers.
‘I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I first saw you at the bakery that day .
. . Jessie.’ He could feel her smile against his lips.
‘So why didn’t you?’ she whispered.
‘Because you didn’t know who I was and then I thought you thought I was still your brother’s annoying friend. I didn’t know if you felt the same way.’ He took a step back and looked straight into her eyes.
He smiled at her cautiously and then chanced it with a wink. ‘I’m very much a bachelor. Who has no idea what to do any more.’
She reached for him and laced her fingers through his, then lightly kissed him on the lips. ‘I’m sure you’ll figure it out.’
He shook his head. ‘Or you can show me.’
‘Just one more thing,’ she said, trying but failing to hold him back slightly.
‘What’s that?’ he said, dipping his head to leave a trail of kisses along her collarbone.
She tugged at his hands until he looked at her again. ‘Spend Christmas with us in Rowan Bay.’
His heart lurched at the longing he felt for her and he reached to push away a few strands of hair from her face, which was full of hope as she waited for him to reply. ‘I would love to spend Christmas with you and your family, Jessie. I just hope your brother doesn’t thump me.’
She burst out laughing. ‘Something tells me you’ll be okay. One other thing I need to ask you, though, which could be a deal-breaker,’ she said.
‘What’s that?’ He frowned.
‘Please tell me you don’t own a pair of Speedos.’
He laughed. ‘No, that was supposed to be a joke.’
‘It was terrible. So, you’ll put the suitcase away then?’ she said firmly.
He smirked as he watched her smiling eyes. ‘I will put it away right now.’
‘There’s no rush,’ she said, pulling him closer again.