Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
T he next morning, I repeatedly wound my fingers around the silver ribbon embossed with white reindeer. I couldn’t shake off thoughts of Zach. I refused to let my assumptions come between us. But there was no “us” .
I wanted to call him again, but what would I even say? How would I get him to talk to me?
The temptation lodged itself in my mind and refused to budge. It was as though my heart was galloping off into the distance and my common sense was struggling to keep up. He was going to be leaving Heather Moore in a few days and that would be that.
I continued to play with the ribbon on the Christmas wreath as the lights sprinkled liberally around the shop danced and glittered at the edges of my vision.
Luckily, I hadn’t deleted my initial notes or thrown away my sketches from when Ezra first asked me to provide the floral arrangements for his home. As soon as he asked me again, I dug them out and spent the weekend going over colour schemes and adapting them for the new venue.
I looked up suddenly when I caught a flicker of movement outside the shop window.
The breath lodged in my throat when I realised it was Zach. He was hovering there, looking in at me with an injured expression on his face.
I darted out from behind the counter, but he realised I’d spotted him and began striding away. I couldn’t catch up, and the dusting of snow we’d had made everything slippery.
“Zach! Please! Wait!”
He glanced over his shoulder, hesitated, and then drew up.
I reached out to touch his coat sleeve. He stared down at my hand resting there.
“Please, Zach. Just give me five minutes.”
He flashed me an indecipherable look and the briefest of nods.
I encouraged him back to Flower Power and we stood together awkwardly in the shop doorway. From inside the shop, I could hear Christmas music but it didn’t ease the tension between us.
I slid Zach a charged glance.
God, he’s gorgeous.
I struggled to unscramble what I wanted to say. I hadn’t thought this through. A barrage of questions tumbled around in my head. In for a penny, in for a pound, as my dad would often remark. I gathered myself and took a step off the precipice. What did I have to lose?
“I know about the London Inquirer . I mean, I know something happened and you left.”
Zach’s face froze. “Excuse me?”
I felt my cheeks blanch. “I saw some stuff about it online.” I hesitated, trying to read the expression in his dark eyes. “Talk to me, Zach. Please.”
Zach’s face thundered. “You’ve been busy.”
“Why is it ok for you to poke around in other people’s lives but it’s not ok for me to do the same?”
He focused on the Christmas shoppers bustling by, their gift bags dangling and jostling. “What can I say? They let me go a couple of years back.” His broad shoulders shifted under his heavy coat. Zach rubbed at his face. “You don’t get it,” he ground out.
“Get what? Zach, talk to me. Please.”
He let out a weary sigh and hesitated. His dark eyes glittered. “I….” He gave his head a shake. “Forget it. I can’t.”
“Zach? What aren’t you telling me?”
But he pushed his gloved hands deeper into the pockets of his long coat.
“Look, if you’ll excuse me, I should get back to the hotel. I have to file a story by 5pm and then think about when I’m heading back to Glasgow.”
“So that’s it, is it?” I blurted, my breathing ragged in my chest. “You’re not even prepared to talk about it.”
Zach didn’t reply.
“You’re not prepared to let me in, are you?”
Zach shook his head. “What do you want me to say, Bailey? You didn’t tell me the truth about who you were.”
I sighed. “If you still can’t understand why I didn’t tell you, then I don’t know what else I can say. I didn’t do it out of malice or to make you look an idiot, Zach. I would never do that.” I gave him a pleading look. “I did it because I thought you were going to blow my life apart. You and Declan, between the two of you. Can’t you see that?”
Zach dropped his eyes to the snow-slicked pavement. “As if I would ever do anything to hurt you.”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that? You were a complete stranger.” He still is, really , I thought. I wanted to trust him, but how could I? “Why were you chasing down the story if you weren’t going to publish anything?”
This was excruciating.
He raised his eyes to mine. My breathing quickened as he took a couple of steps towards me. I could make out the sexy planes of his full mouth, the long sweep of his nose and the high angles of his cheekbones.
Zach towered over me, his eyes drifting to my mouth. My heart pummelled my ribs. Then he drew back. A defeated expression took him over. “Look, I’m sorry, Bailey. I can’t do this.”
I felt like I’d been knifed in the chest.
There was nothing more to be said. If he couldn’t get past this, if he couldn’t open up, then there was no point.
It took me a few moments to compose myself.
“I’m sorry too.” I stumbled over the words, blinking back the pain. “I’m sorry that you feel you can’t talk to me. Still, no worries. Take yourself off to Glasgow and I’ll help Ezra. You don’t need to bother yourself with that.” I couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into my tone.
Zach reacted as though I’d just thrown off my clothes and danced around Heather Moore to the sound of “I’m Too Sexy”.
“But you can’t,” he protested. “Not on your own.”
“Who says I can’t?”
Zach’s dark brows knitted together.
“Bailey, this isn’t a good idea. It could be dangerous.”
My emotions felt like they’d been stomped over and shattered into pieces. “Yes, it could be, but I’m not going to abandon my friend. Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be careful.”
Zach moved to say something else, but I turned on my heel, biting back tears, and marched back inside my shop.
When I glanced over my shoulder, Zach was gone.