Chapter 47
“Special delivery,” Diara announced as I opened the door to find her outside my rooms. She held up a satin-lined box, and my lungs inflated with dense air.
My wedding dress.
“I took the day off to help you get ready,” she said brightly, though I could see the shy caution behind her words. “If you don’t have other plans?”
“No,” I said, reaching over the threshold to pull her in. I definitely did not strain my ears for the sound of Kye’s heart before I snapped my door shut.
My wedding wasn’t until sunset, and there were hours to fill between now and then. Diara handed the box to me, though as I took it, she hesitated, her fingers latching onto the satin.
“Should we look at it?”
I’d been instructed to not look at it, to wait for the tailor to open it up and fit me in it, making any final adjustments. But we were young women, and even a girl from Leihani felt the allure of a pretty dress.
We set it down, grinning mischievously at each other. I lifted the lid and Diara gasped.
Shapeless fabric flowed out like mist over mountains, pale blues and ash grays, powdered turquoise and pastel lavender, calm white and small dashes of faint pink. Diara reached inside, feeling for the bodice, and an outpouring of chiffon and organza oozed forth. She finally lifted it out. Devoid of sleeves or straps, a heart-shaped lace corset floated from the layers of weightless organza, transparent across the waist but for the stark white boning that ran from chest to hips.
My breath caught.
I wasn’t excited for my moon-forsaken wedding, but at least I’d look damn good during it.
A knock came from my door. We both jumped.
Diara stuffed my dress back into the box as I crossed the floor, tossing a gaze behind me to make sure my dress was fully packed away before I opened it.
It was only Selena.
Her eyes widened with surprise to find Diara in my room. “I’ll come back later,” she said, smiling at us. “I only wanted a moment with you. It’s not important. Just—well wishes.”
“You can stay,” I offered, hoping Diara wouldn’t mind. I stole a glance at the young woman, who nodded in agreement.
Selena stepped in, her sharp eyes falling to the box in the middle of the floor. It was at that moment the lid gave a small jerk upright, the organza inside pushing against it. My mentor’s lips twitched. “I see you’ve followed instructions and left your dress alone?”
“Want to see it?” I asked, grinning despite the edge to her tone.
Her eyes sparkled. “Yes.”
She’d designed it with the tailor, of course she wanted to see it. Diara flipped off the lid, digging her hands inside and lifting it out once again to lay across the back of the couch.
We each stared at it, even as my stomach performed small acrobatics against my ribcage.
Selena took my hand. “You’ll be a vision.” Emotions swirled behind her eyes. Nervousness, excitement, pride. I supposed that as much as my marriage inched me toward my freedom from Thaan, it drew Selena closer to her goals as well.
Sensing the need to give us a moment alone, Diara straightened out of her chair. “We need some drinks,” she said, smoothing her dress. “I’ll be right back.”
Selena waited until she disappeared out the door before she squeezed my hand. “Anxious for tonight?”
I swallowed.
Should I tell her? That I didn’t plan to cordae with Kye?
She knew how I’d met him. She knew he’d betrayed me. She knew I hated him. She even knew he posed a threat to me; she herself had seen my limp after he’d barged into my room and kicked my leg out from under me.
I’d tell you to keep your hands off her, but I can see how little good it would do.
Killing Kye wouldn’t break any part of my contract. I was willing to marry him. I just wasn’t willing to die by his hand. Not after he’d given me up to Thaan. After he’d locked me in a cage in a ship and mocked me. After he forced me into slavery—into becoming the murderer I’d spent my life denying I was.
I felt my resolve harden under Selena’s touch. If I told her what my plans were, she’d try to talk me out of it. She’d try to stop me.
Easier to keep it to myself.
I forced a tight smile over my face. “A little.”
“Trust yourself and your instincts. And if you find you don’t like being near him, well... Remember that he’ll be gone tomorrow.”
Selena waited for me to laugh, but the smile I’d plastered on was already hard enough to manage. “I have something for you,” she finally said, peeking out the door and reaching for something she’d left on the hallway floor.
In her arms sat a potted plant. Its trunk was thick and gnarled, and it leaned heavily to one side, its foliage a dense emerald cloud that hovered over the top.
“It’s a miniature juniper,” Selena said, offering the happy little tree for me to take. “They’re wired when they’re young plants to make the base grow twisted, and then you can trim them into different shapes. You’ll need these, too.” She handed me a pair of sharp gold sheers. “They don’t do well indoors. You’ll have to keep it on your balcony and protect it when the frost comes. What do you think?”
“I love it, Selena. Thank you.”
She followed me onto my balcony, where I set the juniper down in a blanket of sunshine. My eyes narrowed in on a long shoot under the leaves, and I couldn’t help myself. I began pruning it. Amused, Selena watched as I set to work, tilting my head side to side as I surveyed which shape I wanted it to take and humming to myself as I went.
“I wonder if Lady Diara got lost down there,” she mused.
I paused. Excited at getting my hands on a miniature tree, I’d forgotten all about her. She’d been gone for a while. “Maybe she remembered she had something to do?” I ventured, setting the shears down.
Selena pushed to her feet. “It’s almost mid-day. I have my own things I need to accomplish. And I’m sure you do as well. I’ll see you tonight.”
She kissed my cheek, and I walked her to my front door, which I opened for her—and almost yelped in surprise.
Diara stood on the other side, a bottle of sparkling volare in one hand, three glass stems clutched in the other. Her body was still as a statue, her pupils dilated wide and unseeing, the chemical smell of something toxic and burnt like a thick fog in the hall.
“Your humming,” Selena gazed at Diara with interest.
“I’m sorry, Diara,” I said, though she wouldn’t know I apologized. She wouldn’t even know she was a vacous. “I release—”
“Wait.” Selena brushed cool fingertips over my arm. She glanced behind us, into my empty sitting room. “Bring her in.”
I’d rather not. I didn’t care for vacouses. Something about their ghost-like eyes, how they seemed to track movement without focusing, made my stomach squirm.
“You won’t hurt her, will you?”
Selena scoffed. “No, Maren. Come on.”
We led Diara in and closed the door. I crossed my arms. “What?”
“There’s something I’ve wanted you to see, but haven’t been able to figure out how to show you. All we’ve ever practiced with is Pike, but you don’t know him very well. Do you think you’re familiar enough with Diara’s personality to recognize it?”
Damn me to the moon and back. She had my idiotic interest. “Maybe.”
Selena’s eyes slid back to Diara. “Naiads skilled in incantation can make their vacouses act the way they normally would were they not incanted. Give them some level of flexibility, even while under a Naiad’s control. Try easing up on your hold a bit.”
I stared at Diara. “How do I do that?”
“Just—pull back a little.”
Laughing without humor, I shot Selena a sideways glance lacking in confidence.
She smiled back at me. “Just try. Right now, her system is flooded with oxytocin. Lessen the flood and bring her back, but not all the way.”
I’m not sure why I shook my arms out, as though needing to release the tension in my own body. Diara watched me unblinkingly. I sensed for something to pull back. A scent, a sound, a feeling of touch. “This is stupid—” I said, just as I felt it. Like a thin wisp of a cord, connecting her to me. I wrapped my mental hands around it, slowly loosening the bond between us, and watched the pale green in her eyes begin to return.
My mouth parted, and I glanced at Selena. Her eyes remained on Diara, though encouragement hinted behind them. “More.”
I slacked the hold. Diara’s shoulders sank into her easy posture, her hip cocked gently to the side. The chemical scent thinned, less sharp and potent, barely discernible as her head tilted at a curious angle, like she was merely studying us.
“Not too much,” Selena warned.
“What happens if I pull back too much?” I asked, focusing hard on the invisible string.
Selena shook her head. “Nothing bad. You’ll release her, and she’ll lose consciousness for a few minutes. She’d wake up fine. But you can’t release a vacous without them recovering from the oxytocin. It’s like a drug, remember? Ask her a question.”
My mind suddenly went bare. What do you ask a vacous?
“Are—are you in there, Diara?”
The young woman scoffed at me. “Of course, I am.”
“You are?” I looked at Selena, who raised her brows back at me. “Do you understand what’s happening right now?”
“I know you’re controlling me, and I don’t like it,” she snapped back.
Selena pursed her elegant mouth with amusement. “She won’t remember any of this.”
“The Darkness I won’t,” Diara shot back.
Selena and I gazed at her in shock. Everyone knew the third god—Darkness. But no one spoke of him. It was unwise to even say his name, let alone say it in vain.
Selena cleared her throat. “Tell her to do something. Not out loud; in your head.”
In my head?
“Diara,” I said, calling her attention to me. I hesitated. Tell me how you feel about the crown.
Her jaw twisted and rolled as though she fought herself from answering. “The royal family is made of petty thieves,” she said, her brows stitching tight together. “Charging my father to raise draft horses for farms my whole life, then six years ago, demanding destriers for war.”
Step closer. Why is that a problem?
“Because.” She threw up her hand as her feet moved toward me. “It takes years—decades—to begin a new line of breeding. The King took half my father’s assets when he refused to buy the drafts my father raised for him.”
I cleared my throat. Move ba—
“And then had the gall to ask my brother and I to come here and work off our debts, where all the nobles look down their noses at us for a mistake the King made. We’re the jesters of the court, and everyone knows it.” Her fingers curled tight, and the tension returned to her shoulders, though not the stillness of a vacous. She shook with quiet rage.
“Hmm,” Selena murmured calmly. “Either break the hold or take back some control, you’re about to lose her.”
Alarmed, I tightened the hold. For a moment, Diara went still. Her expression dropped away, her eyes focusing on something in the air as she fought me. I pulled harder, feeling my grip wobble, and realized she’d somehow wandered outside my mental grasp.
Diara gave an idle shake. “And he sits on his throne, completely aware of what he did to my family. My mother is sick, and we can’t afford her care. She’ll probably die in the next few months—”
“Maren.”
I clenched my teeth. “I’m trying.”
Wild tears sprang from Diara’s eyes. “—and I’ll be here, in this place I hate, a city full of vultures and no way out but to marry some rich, snobby noble who’ll probably spend the early years of our marriage trying to explain how to raise horses to me, and I’ll have to nod and ooooh at his words as though I’m privileged to listen to his lectures. Someone insufferably dull, who sniffles with cold and thinks he needs to lay in bed for days, who wipes his ass with—”
The cord broke.
I felt it give, soft as the touch of a feather, like she’d gone so far it had simply fallen off her.
Diara’s eyes went blank, and the long-stemmed glasses in her hand shattered as she crumpled to the floor.