Chapter 57
The door to Kye’s rooms swung open, and I stepped into the dark.
No one had entered since the day he’d left. But it still smelled like him. Mint leaves and garden rain. I took in the walls and floors with more interest than I had before, though the curiosity was numbed by a feeling I couldn’t explain. My feet wandered down the hall, where the petals had been cleared, and I stopped in the doorway of his bedroom.
The chair. The rope. The fireplace. The bed.
It all looked exactly as it had. But it was cold now. The fireplace unlit, shadows stretching from the window as the sun rose.
I crept to his bed, pulling back his blanket as I climbed in.
My eyes became hot. A lump hardened in my throat. I curled into his pillow, breathing him in as I waited for sleep to find me.
The leaves turned red and gold. Cool winds followed the sea from the north, autumn on their heels. Diara and I would leave for Cynthus Castle tomorrow, and I still had no idea if Kye was alive.
I’d tried to find out. Had wandered back to the training yard, watching Sir Aren lead the guard outside for their morning routine, waiting for them to finish. He’d seemed surprised to see me when I pulled him aside.
He hadn’t heard about the attack.
“The King is rumored to be having trouble finding soldier recruits,” Aren had said, his eyes flickering as he considered why such a piece of news would have been kept secret. “Maybe the crown is worried if they announced the attack, even fewer would join.”
I nodded vaguely, trying to be comforted by the idea that the attack was being covered to boost public morale—not to hide that a prince was dead.
Mother moon, when had I begun to care?
Sir Aren placed his hand on my shoulder. “As Junior Captain of the Guard, I have some connections. I’ll do some digging. I’m sure he’s fine. Kye could always fight better than most, and when he didn’t, he fought dirty instead.”
I’d smiled weakly at him, willing to indulge in his placating words, but I didn’t miss the flash of worry in his eyes, or the way he hurried off in the opposite direction as I crossed the field back to the palace.
Every day since, I’d walked down to the open windows, watching with the rest of the crowd as the guards warmed up. My eyes would meet with Aren’s, and he’d give the smallest shake of his head.
No news.
Standing outside Selena’s door, I waited.
I’d already knocked twice. Selena had sent a note claiming to have a surprise for me, likely to lure me back to studying with her. I hadn’t returned to this part of the palace since Thaan and I spoke.
My mentor had said she’d be there, but as the minutes ticked by, my eyes wandered to the dancing crane behind me, and the key inside.
The rooms were unusually dark when I let myself in. Careful to avoid knocking the burning black candle from the windowsill, I drew the curtains across their rods, iron hooks quietly squealing over the bar. Light poured in, the western sun low on the horizon. Gray water churned red in its haze.
Drifting across the sitting room, my eyes wandered over the random artifacts that made up Selena’s life. Potted plants lined slender tables in front of every window. A thick oak mantle over a stone hearth, ashes neatly swept away. Books and candles lined its surface. A knit blanket draped over the corner of her plush couch, Selena’s leather journal leaning against the armrest.
My gaze landed on it and lingered.
I’d seen it many times. Selena often kept it with her. But I’d never glanced inside. Hesitating, I cast my sense of hearing wide for the presence of sound. Empty silence answered.
Breath tight, ears open, I sat on the cushioned seat. I chewed my lip, and my eyes made a final dash toward the closed door.
I flicked the cover open.
The book slid off the side of the arm, landing flat and spread wide beside me. I became instantly disappointed.
The words inside were written in code.
Page after page I turned, but nothing was written in Calderian.
I lifted the book, flipping through the pages, scanning for a familiar letter or word—then stopped as a shape caught my eye. Flipping back, the cardstock pages thick against the pad of my thumb, I stopped.
It was a sketch of a stone.
A prism, one pointed end clear, the other shaded and scuffed with black ink like frost over a plane of glass.
I hadn’t thought of the stone in months. But I remembered it clearly. A deal made in exchange for a dead man to be brought to shore from under the sea, an icy chamber in the volcano that had almost claimed my life, and a blue glow below the water.
Curiously, I turned the page to find a rough map of the Islands of Leihani. The big island, Luaahi, and four smaller islands, shaped together like the pads of a dog’s paw.
The click of heels resounded off the stone floor just outside, and without thinking, I slammed the journal closed and stuffed it into the folds of my dress, wrenching myself to my feet. My heart pounded softly as I listened to the heels approach Selena’s door.
They came and went.
Angling my head towards the noise, I waited as whoever it was took a corner, their footsteps fading from my ears.
Where was Selena?
I peeked down the hallway, into the empty rooms Selena slept and bathed in. Doubling back, I opened the door of the shared office, and found my mentor curled up on the floor.
“Selena?” Alarm propelled my feet forward. Selena sat against Thaan’s office door, arms wrapped around her knees, her lavender-blue dress rippling out over her feet. She roused at my voice, pushing to sit upright and rub at puffy eyes. I gazed down at her incredulously.
“What time is it?” Selena murmured. She offered me a sleepy smile, holding a hand to request help.
“Almost dinner time.” Pulling the Naiad upright, I raised a brow.
Selena loosed an awkward chuckle, ignoring my unasked question, crossing her graceful arms over her chest. She dipped her chin towards the western wall, indicating a coffer built with crystal panels. “Your new glass box.”
Drawn to Selena’s figure on the floor, I hadn’t even seen it. But it was massive. It took up the entire wall. Floor to ceiling, corner to corner, it refracted the light from the sole window behind it, sending waves of blue and white across Selena’s face. I put a hand to the cold glass, wondering how she’d even gotten it through the door.
“You don’t have space to work in here anymore.” It was all I could think to say. Selena’s desk was gone, replaced with a much smaller version, a single chair the only seating option in the room.
Selena smiled, unbothered by the loss of her office. “I don’t enjoy sharing, anyway.” Her eyes roamed to Thaan’s door and dropped away.
Annoyance lanced through me. I still hadn’t worked out her true relationship with Thaan. And I was too cowardly to ask.
Like the previous box, the opening was a steel lid. A pulley had been devised so I could lift the lid when in use. Stairs had been built up one side of the wall, as the box was now taller than I was. A single horizontal glass pane was secured along one side of the interior, just below the water level, a shelf for me to step on when getting in and out.
Selena caught the look on my face. “You don’t like it? You’ll have more room to swim and practice your water calling. You’ve long since exceeded the use of the other one. This gives you more water to work with. You could even moon bathe in here.”
Sliding a finger down the cool crystal, I stared at my own reflection in the glass. My mind went to the brief meeting I’d had with Thaan, two weeks before. “What do you know about Winterlight?” I asked, not daring to meet Selena’s eyes.
“Nothing since hearing that our forces chose to gather there,” Selena answered. “What have you heard?”
I wondered whether she was lying. “Thaan told me it was attacked. Calder lost a quarter of its men.”
Selena gazed softly at me. Her chest fell as she released a long, silent breath through her nose. The scent of water lilies followed her exhale: sweet, aquatic, and floral. “Don’t worry. Put it out of your mind,” she said.
“You said I would fight in the war,” I reminded her. “You said I would incant our armies so they felt no pain.”
Selena inclined her head with cool grace. “I did. When the time comes, you will be a champion of Calder. A hero.”
I scoffed. “No one remembers being incanted. I won’t be noted for helping anyone. I’ll be the phantom spirit men might only dream of before they wake up after battle—with wounds they don’t remember receiving.”
The blue light of the glass box flickered over Selena’s beautiful face. She hesitated, conflict evident in her eyes. What was she not sharing? I stilled my breath, listening for the presence of heartbeats nearby. Selena’s pulse, slightly elevated, was the only one I heard. There was no one in Thaan’s quarters.
The advantage of having caught Selena off guard offered me some courage. I stretched my back as straight as it would go. “Are you an Oculos?”
“What?” Selena demanded, lurching upright. She gazed at me with deep incredulity. “Where did you hear that?”
My jaw tightened. “Are you?”
We stared for a long time. The blue and white waves whirled, casting off the walls, filling the corners of the room. Far below, the sound of the ocean beating against the cliffs reached my ears.
“Yes,” Selena finally said.
I’d expected as much, but I hadn’t expected her to be honest about it. It didn’t help the sting of betrayal I immediately felt, the bite of desperate disbelief. I shrank away, feet carrying me into the corner of the room.
Your eyes will be my eyes, your ears will be my ears. A spy for a Videre.
Every word that had ever passed between Selena and I fell through my memory, tainted by shadow. I stared wide-eyed at the elder Naiad. My friend. My confidant.
Selena calmly watched, pain threaded behind her ocean eyes.
“He can see what you see?” I whispered, accusation heavy despite the weakness of my voice.
Selena closed her eyes. The light strobed across her chest, her lavender dress. “It doesn’t work that way,” she said. “Everything in the Naiad world is about choice. A choice made by your mind and heart, realized by your blood and fulfilled by the bonds you keep. I’ve never pledged my loyalty, I never signed a contract, but he doesn’t trust anyone else enough to fill the position. I’ve never shared my vision with him. Not once.”
“He doesn’t trust anyone else,” I echoed. “But he trusts you. What’s the point, then? What good is an Oculos if they don’t share their vision?”
A spy for a Videre.
Selena shook her head. “Every monarch needs their generals. And no, he doesn’t trust me. He doesn’t trust anyone. There are other methods of gaining loyalty, Maren. Coercion. Fear. None of Thaan’s followers do so out of love. You know that. Look at yourself, the situation you find yourself in. Why do you follow Thaan?”
My fists clenched tight enough my nails bit into my palms. “Because I’ve been told that if I left, I would die. Is that even true?”
Selena opened her mouth, tasting her words before speaking them. “Yes. Not right away, but yes. It would take three years, but eventually, your blood would become toxic to your body. Your core temperature would rise, your heart would overstress itself, and your lungs would fail trying to compensate. Some Naiads hallucinate or become confused. Others remain level-headed until the end. But by then, it’s too late to reverse.” Her steady gaze captured my focus—she spoke as if she’d seen it happen.
I flexed my fingers against the air. Three years.
Three. The Triad.
“What are you doing to fight him?”
Selena’s brows rose. “I’m training you.”
“What else?” I demanded, determined to decide here and now whether I could trust her. The scent of my own anger filled the room. “I’m bound to my promises, but you”re not. You could walk away.I’m the one who stands to risk everything, lose everything if I fail. What do you stand to lose? You said you were working on ways to stop him. What ways? Tell me what you’re doing.”
Selena exhaled through her nose. “When the time comes, I will tell you. I promise. Right now, I need you to study. To cordae with the prince, to finish out your vow. I don’t want you chasing a dream of freedom when you could achieve it instead.”
“How can you stand it?” I whispered, though the challenge in my voice had largely deflated. “I will neverbe his Oculos by choice. I swear it in my blood.”
Selena reeled back, eyes wide with horror. She crossed the room in three strides and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me gently. Her eyes filled with blue fire, but fear was the scent I caught as she neared, acrid and sour.
“First, you need to shed blood to bind such a promise to your body,” Selena hissed, blinking back a sudden shine that threatened to overfill her eyes. “And second, you fool—” she thrust her hand away, leaving a soreness across my shoulders, ”You think you are young and invincible, blindly making prisons for your own blood through careless promises. This is not a game, Maren. You need to think. Naiads have killed themselves swearing oaths they cannot keep. I am your ally, but if you choose not to trust me, so be it. I understand. But trust yourself not to make unwise vows out of anger or passion. A Naiad’s body will answer above all to their own word of honor, and once you speak the words, you cannot take them back.”
She stared at me as the lambent light caressed her skin like blue woad, ethereal and haunting.
I gazed back at her in shock, a shyness creeping up my neck. As though I owed Selena an apology.
Perhaps I did. Perhaps I didn’t.
“It”s not a game to me,” I shot back, though Selena’s outburst had left the venom in my voice all but neutralized. “It’s my life.”
Selena’s gaze softened. She gave the glass box a backward glance, a hand softly carved around her own throat, and quietly stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.