50. Maren
50
Maren
A ches came, my body sore from the strain of fighting Thaan. I laid with a dreaming Kye, unable to sleep or move my limbs, and watched the sun finally stain the ceiling with light.
He’d long since faded into soft snores, tucking his hands around me and nuzzling in. His shoulder lay just beyond my open palm. I wished I could run my fingertips down his arm, or maybe through the ends of his curls. But I lay trapped instead, isolated by the prison of my own body.
The moon-damned wedding rings might have come in handy. I wondered if they would have allowed us to speak, though I was smart enough to cut that curiosity off before delving too deeply into it. I couldn’t bear the thought of Kye in my mind, listening as I’d unraveled, punching and slamming myself against my own skin.
At least he wouldn’t remember any of it.
Thaan didn’t knock when he came. He opened the door with a low creak, not even bothering to step into the room.
Get up, he ordered into my head. Don’t wake him unless you want me incanting him again. The mountain scouts will come to wake him soon enough.
Hatred seared into my blood as I slithered out from under Kye, careful to not disturb him. Door still open wide, Thaan sighed a breath of impatience, facing me fully, and I mentally tossed a flaming gulp of hot poison down my own throat. “You have five minutes to dress and gather what you need. Your horse is already saddled. Don’t keep me waiting.”
Kolibri flattened her ears as I approached. I wondered if she could sense that I wasn’t myself. That Thaan lurked somewhere in my blood, controlling my bones. She stiffened as I climbed onto her back, and I realized a number of horses stood saddled around us.
We were riding back with an entourage.
“Good morning, Lady Maren,” Prince Hadrian said, stopping at the roan beside Kolibri and flipping the saddle bag open. “Is Nikolaos coming to say goodbye to you?”
My blood didn’t even allow me to look directly at him. “No,” my mouth said.
He blinked at me, and I inwardly cringed, knowing etiquette demanded a much more respectful greeting toward the heir to the throne.
“Already said it in your room, then?”
“No.”
Hadrian frowned. “Does he know you’re leaving?”
“No.”
He glanced at the inn, bathed in morning light. “Did…” He scratched his jaw in a way that reminded me of Kye. “Did my father speak to you?”
The King was here? In Winterlight? “No.”
His sharp look of confusion left me sinking within myself. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes.”
Hadrian stepped away from his horse, circling around Kolibri’s side. The black mare snapped her jaws at him, and he halted a short distance away, though his eyes never left mine. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
I struggled inside myself for an answer that I could give, not that my mouth let me choose my own moon-forsaken words. “Kye is asleep.”
“Is he alright?”
“Yes.”
“Should I go check on him?”
Another horse appeared, the first to leave the vicinity and head down the road, Cain in its saddle. Thaan’s voice echoed in my head. Follow Cain.
My tongue clicked, Kolibri’s legs surging me away from Hadrian and his questions. I felt his gaze on the valley between my shoulder blades, a sharp knot in my back. A moment later, he caught up, scrutinizing me as he rode. “What happened? Did Kye say something to you?”
Ignore him, said Thaan.
My teeth clenched together. I faced forward.
Hadrian rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. “He didn’t want to go back through the pass today. He wanted to stay with you. He’s sorry he’s not here to take you back himself.”
I listened to the crowned prince make excuses for his brother, as though he believed I was angry at Kye, and though some tiny, tiny shred of me was charmed at the fact he thought it was necessary, I wished he’d leave. Hadrian believed his words with me were private. He didn’t realize Thaan listened to every one of them through my ears.
The prince paused, waiting for my response. Then sighed through his nose when I didn’t. “I’m glad you made it back to Calder safely, Lady Maren.” He waited a moment more, offering me more than enough opportunity to say something. But my gaze remained locked onto the road, and nothing within me bent to my own will. Hadrian rode ahead, joining a man I didn’t recognize until he sent an interested look back at me from over his shoulder. Aren, Junior Captain of the Guard.
My hands gripped the reins a bit too snug, my thighs wrapped Kolibri a bit too tight.
My jaw ached from the clamp of my bite as Hadrian and Aren spent eight days half trying to coax me into conversation with little success. I knew Hadrian didn’t trust Thaan—he’d told me as much the morning Kye and I had been taken captive by Captain Kriska. Still, I could only wonder what he thought as he watched Thaan’s horse ride next to Kolibri, cutting me off from the rest of the group.
“Is this going to become a problem?” Thaan asked, as unamused as the prince and junior captain as they glowered at us a few paces ahead.
No , I thought back. “Probably,” my mouth said.
Thaan chewed on the honest answer for a moment before looking at me, a sudden curiosity in his milky eyes. “Did you tell Nikolaos that you are blood-bound to kill his brother?”
“No.”
“Ah.” He settled into his saddle. “But does he know that you must?”
He’d believed it once. Someone had made attempts on Hadrian’s life, and Kye had thought I was involved. I wasn’t sure what he believed now, though the weight in my chest told me well enough what my heart believed. That his mind had changed. That he trusted me. I squirmed in my seat, unable to give the answer I wanted to. Ahead, I felt Hadrian and Aren both watching. “I don’t know.”
Thaan’s brows twinged. “More importantly, does he know you’re blood-bound to kill him?” he asked, indicating Hadrian with the merest wave of his hand.
“He suspected last Virccos .”
“And what gave him that idea?”
“He and Nikolaos worked it out after Nikolaos lost half his memories,” I said, realizing his open-ended question gave me just enough flexibility to speak more than a blunt word or two. “After you incanted him into marrying me without telling me he didn’t agree to it. After you sent me into battle with a wooden stick.”
My mouth snapped shut on a silent demand. Thaan rode for a moment in heavy silence. Then veered off to join Cain in a way that sent a small chill down my spine.
I spent the remainder of the journey alone.