9. Ed
9
ED
I tug at the bottom of my shirt, making sure it’s straight before raising my fist to the Monroes’ front door. In one hand is a bottle of wine, in the other is a bunch of flowers.
Shona smiles at me warmly when she opens the door, and I hand them over to her. They’re inadequate for what I’ve taken from her and my guilt has me lowering my gaze, unable to look Jake’s mom in the eye.
“Come on through,” she says. “The kids are in the living room.”
“The kids” are her huge Navy SEAL of a son and Avery.
Avery sits in an armchair across from Amos with a checkerboard between them. She leans forward and stares at the board. Her lips purse in concentration and her hair, usually tied up, falls loose over her shoulders.
Amos is leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers locked.
I pause in the doorway, enthralled by the tension between them. The board is worn at the edges, and I can imagine the battles between the siblings when they were kids, then whenever they were all home together.
Avery picks up a piece and moves it across the board, taking three of Amos’s pieces.
Her lips widen in a grin. “Gotcha!” She claps her hands together while her brother cusses under his breath.
“Watch your mouth,” admonishes Shona. “Our guest has arrived.”
They both look up, and Amos stands from his chair. “Good to see you, Ed.”
He offers a hand, and I take it and nod my greeting.
My gaze moves to Avery as she stands up, and heat sweeps over my body.
Last night I saw the vulnerable side of Avery Monroe. Last night, the grief of her loss overwhelmed her, and she wasn’t ashamed to let herself feel. Today, her smile warms my chest, reaching places I thought were locked up tight.
I’m furious at myself for not realizing the house would be a trigger for her. As soon as she left, I gathered up all of Jake’s personal belongings from around the house and dumped them in trash bags and threw them in his room.
Now all that remains is the furniture and ornaments and his books. I’ll get rid of those too if it stops Avery from feeling anymore pain.
She holds out a hand the same way her brother did. “Nice to see you, Ed.”
Her eyes dance, and there’s no trace of any awkwardness about last night. I take her hand in mine and warmth spreads through me.
I work my mouth into the positions I’ve been practicing. I try to say, ‘Nice to see you too,’ but all that comes out is a collection of garbled sounds.
I cover my mouth with my hand, embarrassed. But Avery lights up like a Christmas tree.
“You’ve been practicing!” She clasps her hands together, and seeing the delight on her face makes it worthwhile.
I nod once and pull a tissue out of my pocket and dab it to my mouth in case of any drool. But so far so good.
Mr. Monroe strides into the room. “Good to see you, Ed.” He shakes my hand in a firm grip. “How are you settling in across the road, son?”
The use of the word catches me off guard. He means it as a casual epithet, but I’ve never been anyone’s son.
It takes a beat for Mr. Monroe to remember I can’t answer him back. Then he starts talking to me about the place, how he’s happy to keep doing the lawns until I get myself better.
I write him a note telling him I’ll take over the lawns. He seems a little disappointed, and I wonder if retirement isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. He’s been out for a year, and I guess it’s hard adjusting to civilian life after so long. Hard to find things to fill your time.
He slaps a hand on my back and leads me through to the dinner table.
The dining room adjoins the living area, and photos cover the walls. There are all three kids when they were little. Avery with a huge grin and two pigtails holding up a medal. Amos standing next to his dad at about twelve years old holding a hunting rifle.
There are the kids dressed up for Halloween. There are baby photos of each of them. There’s Mr. Monroe in his navy uniform, his two sons standing beside him.
The entire room is a shrine to their family. To the happy memories and love between them.
“I’ve put you next to Avery,” Shona says.
They take their places, and I wonder if my place is where Jake usually sits.
“Hand me your plate, honey. I’ve made chicken pot pie.” Shona dishes me up a generous slice and sets my plate down. “I wasn’t sure if you could eat okay, but Avery assured me your jaw was about healed. Is that right?”
I nod, even though it’s not entirely true. It hurts like hell to chew some things, but I’m not about to admit that to my host.
“Help yourself to vegetables.” Shona gestures to the rest of the food, and I take a bit of everything.
The family passes dishes around the table in a practiced dance. I wait until everyone’s plate is full before cutting into my pie. If I’m going to get through this with any dignity, then small portions are best. I press the fork into my mouth and will my jaw to chew.
“Where are you heading off to tomorrow?” Avery asks Amos.
He gives her a look. “You know I can’t tell you that.”
She gives an exaggerated sigh. “One day I’ll catch you out, brother.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t count on it, sis. I’m hard to catch out.”
“Oh yeah?” She raises her eyebrows. “Like in checkers just now?”
“We don’t talk about checkers,” he mumbles, and Avery chuckles.
I watch the sibling banter with a pang in my chest. The closest I ever came to having a family was the SEAL team I was a part of. Now that’s been taken away from me.
I don’t try to join in the conversation with my notepad over dinner. I enjoy watching everyone else interact. The conversation flows, and the love in this family is obvious.
When the main course is finished, I get up to help clear the plates, and Shona waves me away. “You’re our guest, Ed. You don’t need to help.”
After clearing the plates, she brings in a cake for dessert and cuts me a generous slice.
I manage a grunt that’s supposed to be showing appreciation. Shona smiles in the warm way she has that’s just like her daughter.
After the desert, Mr. Monroe coughs, and the talking stops as all eyes turn to him.
He looks at me pointedly. “I want you to know, son, that all of us are happy that Jake left you the house.”
I grab my notebook out of my pocket, and he holds up a hand in a hold on gesture. “Just listen, Ed, because this needs to be said.”
I glance around the table, and all eyes are on me. They’ve talked about this. This is why I’m here.
“We don’t know why Jake made his decisions, but he did. We put family first in this house, and Jake’s wishes will be respected. We want you to know, Ed, you have our full support.”
My chest aches at his words. I’ve taken a chunk of their inheritance, and all they can think about is making sure I’m okay.
I glance down at my notepad and write two words.
Thank you.
I’ll find a way to make sure the property, or the money from it, gets back to them. But I can tell they need this. They need to honor Jake.
“Do you play checkers?” Avery asks.
Amos gives a chuckle, and the gravity of the moment passes.
I shake my head. The only games I learned in my foster homes were how to break into a car the fastest and how to outrun the cops.
“I’ll teach you.” The enthusiasm in her voice is infectious, and I follow her into the living room.
“Don’t be fooled. She’s more ruthless than any of us,” Amos warns me.
But he’s grinning. And for a moment, just a moment, I feel what it must be like to be part of a family.