15. Avery
15
AVERY
M y breath comes in shallow gasps as I kiss the side of Ed’s mouth. His eyes close and a guttural sound rumbles in his chest. He stays still while I move my lips across his right cheek. Then I move onto the left.
My fingertip trails across the line of his scar, and I plant a kiss on the rough skin. He closes his eyes, and I trace the scar with my lips. I kiss his jawline and his cheek, moving upwards until l reach the soft skin below his ear.
“I need this, Ed.” It’s not ladylike to beg, but I’ll get down on my knees if I have to.
I’m not thinking straight, but all I know is that kissing Ed is the first time the pain has stopped.
I want more of that. I want to forget about dead brothers and happy times when we were kids and the grief on Mom’s face when the officers came to the door.
I want to forget about all of it for a while.
I kiss his earlobe and breathe against his skin, letting my breath tickle his neck. “I want this, Ed. Kiss me.”
I feel the moment he caves. The moment his SEAL resolve snaps.
He turns his head, and I catch the flash of desire in his eyes before he grabs my cheeks in his hands and pulls me toward him.
The kiss is insistent and firm. His hand tangles in my hair, and my chest bumps up against his. My nipples harden under my layers of clothing as they brush against his hard chest.
His hands slide down my back, and he cups my ass. In one quick movement, he hauls me onto his lap. I slide my arms around his neck, and he pauses to look at me. There’s a question in his expression, and he doesn’t need to write the words for me to know what he’s asking.
“Yes. I want this,” I say breathlessly.
His hand runs up my thigh, sending jolts of heat through my body. I squeeze my thighs against him, but it does nothing to ease the ache building between my legs.
It started with a kiss but now my body burns, and I won’t be satisfied until I get a release.
Ed’s tortured expression and sad, longing eyes reveal his inner turmoil. I want desire to win. I want him to answer to the attraction that’s between us. I want him to touch me and kiss me. Hard.
He brushes my cheeks, wiping away the last of the tears. His hand moves down my cheek to my chin, then down my neck. His rough palm glides over my throat, and I gasp at the sensation.
My head tilts back, and I angle my chest at him as shoots of pleasure skitter through my body. My body squirms under his touch. I want more of it. I want to shed my clothing and be close to him.
Ed holds up a finger, imploring me to be patient. He reaches behind him for his notepad and scribbles something.
Are you sure this is what you want?
I nod. I don’t want to think about the consequences. I don’t want to think about tomorrow.
“I need this.”
He scribbles something else and holds up the notepad.
I can’t offer you anything.
The words jolt me to the reality of what this is. Two people with a physical attraction to each other. We’re not dating, and there are no expectations.
Ed’s a man who enjoys being on his own. He wants to have sex with me, but it will never be anything else. I don’t know what else I expected.
Still, it’s jarring seeing the words written down. It makes it clear. There’s no room for misinterpretation.
I’ve never had a one-night stand in all my life. I’ve never even been all the way with a man before. But I need this. I need this with him.
“That’s fine with me.” I keep my voice steadier than what I feel. “I don’t want anything else either.”
Something dark flashes across his features before he schools them into a neutral expression. He puts the notepad down, and his breathing is ragged. I bite my lower lip, hoping he won’t change his mind.
Suddenly, Ed slides an arm under my legs and the other around my back, and as he stands up off the couch, he lifts me up with him.
“Hey!”
I’m not a small woman, but he carries me with ease through the room and up the stairs. We bypass the bedrooms and come to the narrow staircase that leads to the attic. It’s too narrow for him to carry me up, so he sets me down and motions for me to go on up.
“Is this where you’ve been sleeping?” My head comes out at the small room at the top of the stairs. The angle of the roof here means you can only stand up in the middle. There’s an air mattress on the floor and a black duffel bag with Ed’s clothes folded inside.
This is why the bedrooms downstairs were untouched. Ed still doesn’t feel he deserves the house.
Fresh tears threaten my eyes, and this time they’re for the man in front of me. “You don’t have to hide up here.”
I thump my fist on his chest, and he shakes his head. I’m not sure what he’s trying to tell me, but a moment later his mouth closes over mine and I lose all sense of myself.
He walks me backward until my feet hit the air mattress. His thumbs hook under the sweater I’m wearing. His sweater. I’ve worn it every day since he loaned it to me.
He pulls it over my head and then the t-shirt I’ve got on underneath. I cross my hands over myself, embarrassed to show him my body.
People have teased me about my shape all my life, but Ed doesn’t seem to mind. He gently pulls my hands away and drops them by my sides. He takes a step back, and his gaze sweeps over my body. And it’s full of heat. His hand slides up my arm and around my waist as he pulls me toward him. His fingers work my bra, unclasping it with one hand. He eases the straps off my shoulders, and this time, as the bra falls to the floor, I resist the urge to cover myself.
Ed takes a step backward and sucks in a breath. There’s hunger in his eyes as his gaze roves over me, and that makes me bold. I slide a hand up the smooth skin of my belly and over my breasts. Ed watches, mesmerized, as I tug on my hardened nipple.
As he watches me, I’m gripped with a desire so overwhelming, it makes my legs unsteady. I tug at his t-shirt, wanting to feel his solidness against mine.
He pulls it over his head, and I gasp at the scars his battle-worn body carries. He has a SEAL trident tattooed on his chest, and a bone frog tattooed on his arm. But it’s the scars I’m curious about. I’m dying to ask where he got them, all but I don’t want to stop the moment.
Ed must feel the same, because he drops to his knees and his lips press to my belly. I try to suck it in, but as his hand inches up my skin to my breast, all thoughts of trying to look skinny flee my mind. I relax under his touch, leaning into the caress of his lips as he twists my nipple in his mouth.
One hand tangle in his hair, and my head tilts back. His other hand slides up my thighs, pushing them apart as he slips that hand between them. Heat jolts through my body at his touch, and I cry out. There are layers between us and he takes care of them, rolling my leggings down my thighs and my ankles and helping me step out of them.
Then his hungry mouth comes back to my nipples. He tugs on a nipple with his teeth, sending darts of please straight between my legs. My breathing gets shallow, and I pant harder and faster. His hand slides between my legs and over my mound.
The sensation makes me cry out, and there’s a climax building inside of me I can’t control much longer.
His finger pushes my panties aside, and then his palm cups my most sensitive area. I cry out and push against his palm. All my pleasure endings are concentrated on the point of his finger, and he knows how to wield it.
My body jerks as the climax breaks, and sweet release cascades through my body. All the tension I’ve been holding in dissipates, and there’s nothing in the world but this incredible sensation.
I’m still panting moments later when Ed puts my panties carefully back in place. He stands up, and in the dim light desire flashes in his eyes.
My body takes in his muscular build, the determined gleam in his eyes, and the hard package that’s bulging underneath his pants.
He doesn’t need to speak to tell me what he wants.