Chapter 9 Ryan
RYAN
Morning light peeps through the heavy hotel curtains, signaling the new day. Our last day together.
Next to me, Rose’s breathing is steady, and her warm body presses against mine. In the night, her right leg wrapped around me, and her body angled toward me. Every time she exhales, her warm breath tickles the skin of my shoulder.
We spent yesterday watching movies while curled up in bed. I paid the concierge to pop out to the convenience store on the corner and bring back a large bag of popcorn, chocolate cookies, and corn chips.
I didn’t realize how much I needed a day in bed too. After the heaviness of the past six weeks, sitting in a hotel room and watching cheesy comedy movies while snacking was the perfect day.
And it ended perfectly. With both of us in the shower, then against the wall, then on the bed, tangled in sheets and cookie crumbs.
Rose stirs and opens her eyes. When she sees me, she smiles. “Morning, Gray.”
The false name, one I use sometimes on missions, makes my smile falter. After what we’ve shared together, we still don’t know each other’s names.
I’m about to tell her what my real name is when she rolls over. The sheet falls away from her chest, revealing soft skin and heavy breasts.
“Morning.” My hand slides under the sheets and runs up her hip.
“What time is it?”
She frowns at the digital clock, and I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing I am. That we only have two hours left together.
My chest constricts. What if the timing was different? What if I wasn’t about to deploy, and she wasn’t just passing through?
But there’s no point in thinking about what-ifs. We have this moment, and I don’t want to waste it.
I shuffle closer to Rose and nuzzle into her neck, the way I learned she likes. I’m rewarded with a soft moan, a sound that will forever haunt my dreams.
I pull her warm body toward mine, and it fits against me perfectly, her softness against my hard muscle. Her mouth quirks up as my hand slides over her body, and I wonder if this has to be goodbye.
“I’ve enjoyed my time with you…”
She puts a finger to my lips, stopping whatever I’m about to say.
“It’s not over yet.”
Her hands trail down my chest, and her fingertips catch on every ridge, sending heat skittering over my skin. This woman sets me on fire, and I wonder if this will be the time that I finish sated. If I’ll ever stop wanting more of her.
My hands slowly trace over her stomach to the small of her back and around to her throat, committing every ridge, every hollow, and every curve to memory.
The sadness is gone from her eyes. But I know grief; it will rear up again. I only hope I’ve eased her pain a little.
My mouth trails up her neck and over the peak of her chin. I kiss the corner of her mouth. I kiss her cheeks and her temple and her closed eyelids.
“You’re beautiful, Rose.”
Her eyelids flutter open, and we stare at each other, our breaths heating each other’s cheeks as our heartbeats sync.
Dipping my head, my mouth finds hers. Her lips are tentative, gentle, and I kiss her softly back. There’s no urgency now, and I want to remember every touch, every feeling, every taste.
I shift her below me so her body presses into the bed, and her gaze locks on mine as I reach for the last condom.
Our eyes remain locked as I enter her for the final time. Her head tilts back, and she whimpers, and I wish it was my name on her lips.
We move together, slowly, both wanting to take our time. He legs wrap around my waist, pulling me toward her. Our bodies, slick with perspiration, glide together in a slow dance. The only sounds are her moans and the intake of breath at each shared sensation.
Her hair falls around her face, and I smooth it with one hand, keeping her cheek cupped in my palm.
I kiss her face, her neck, and her mouth as we move toward the inevitable peak. Her legs tighten around me, and her hands clasp my shoulders.
My gaze finds hers, and our eyes lock as her moans turn to cries. Her eyes widen, and she cries out. “Gray.” A fake name that taints my release with a pang of regret.
Our gazes remain fixed on each other as the pounding of my heart eases and our bodies relax. Only then does she release her hold on me. I pull her close to me on the bed and kiss her salty lips while my heart pounds to a beat I don’t understand.
I must doze for a while, because when I wake up Rose is sitting on the side of the bed. She’s changed into a baggy t-shirt and leggings and is stuffing clothes into her travel case.
“Checkout is in twenty minutes.”
I reach for her but let my arm drop. We’re out of time, and I don’t want her to get charged extra for the hotel.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower.”
I head to the bathroom and note that she’s already cleared away her things. I must have been out longer than I thought—the sleep of the satisfied.
I smile to myself as the water heats. I barely recognize the man in the mirror. The grief that weighed me down has lifted somewhat. I look relaxed, almost happy.
As I soap myself down in the shower, the memory of Rose on her knees pops into my mind. I smile, remembering her clumsy movements and determination.
But it’s not just the sex that’s made me happy. Rose made me laugh; she opened herself to me; she trusted me with her pain. She showed me her strength and her vulnerability. She’s funny and beautiful and intriguing. We laughed together; we cried together; we watched dumb movies together.
I want to tell her my name. I want to tell her about my grief. I want to share with her that my mom died too. That my father has fallen apart, and that he drank for most of the six weeks I was home, consumed by his grief.
I want to share more than two days with Rose. I want to share myself with her, all of it.
As the water runs over me, I realize I don’t want it to end today.
I’ll give her my number, and we can chat while I’m deployed. Then when I’m back, I’ll meet her in whatever town she wants. We’ll get a hotel for a week, but this time, we’ll know each other’s names. No secrets, no hiding. We’ll share all about ourselves.
I’m humming as I turn off the shower and quickly towel myself down. I pull open the bathroom door, eager to make plans with her. “Hey, do you want…”
My words are met with silence. The room is empty.
I spin around once to make sure. But there’s no sign of Rose, and her suitcase is gone.
“Shit.”
I pull on my jeans and fumble with the belt. My t-shirt is inside out, but I don’t bother to turn it the right way. I tug it on as is.
My socks are balled up, and I shove them in my pocket and put my shoes on my bare feet. Not bothering to tie the laces, I race into the corridor.
She’s not there, and I race to the elevator and whack the button. It’s stopped on a lower floor, and I punch it impatiently.
After another few seconds, I burst through the doors that lead to the stairwell. I take them two at a time all the way down to the lobby.
I burst through the doors, causing an elderly couple to glare at me. But there’s no time to worry about causing a scene. I need to catch Rose.
She’s not in the lobby, and I jog over to the reception desk, carrying my socks in my hand. “Did Rose check out?”
The man behind reception peers at me down his nose. “Which room?”
“Room 707.”
He taps his keyboard, and he’s so damn slow I want to jump the desk and do the job for him.
“She checked out ten minutes ago.”
Ten minutes. She must have left as soon as I went into the bathroom. There I was, fantasizing about a future, while she was leaving. But why would she stay? I made sure to reiterate it was for this weekend only.
“What name is the room booked under?”
The man frowns at me. “I can’t give you that information.”
“Was it Rose?” I demand.
He peers at me and checks the computer. “Ms. Rose Red.”
I huff out a laugh, and the man gives me a stern look as if that’s a perfectly sensible name.
I race out of the lobby and push my way through the revolving doors to the parking lot. I have no idea what type of car Rose drives, so I jog between each car, peering into the widows and hoping for a glimpse of her.
It’s not until I get to the last car and spot the security guard walking briskly toward me that I let the truth sink in.
She’s gone.
I had the perfect weekend with the perfect girl, and I have no idea what her name is or how to find her.
Rose is gone.