Chapter 16 Ryan
RYAN
“Tell me it’s not true,” he growls from his position in the doorway. “Tell me you didn’t knock my sister up and leave her on her own.”
He’s shaking with rage, and I want to deny it, but the shock of her words makes me speechless. I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Hudson strides toward the bed with his eyes blazing.
“Did you or did you not sleep with my sister?” He grinds out the words, and I shrink into the bed. This is the tough side of Hudson, excellent on a door-kicking mission, but this is the first time I’ve seen his anger directed at me.
I close my eyes and nod. “About three years ago.”
Rough hands grab my collar as he jerks my head up. My eyes pop open, and pain spikes in my stump as he drags my body upwards.
“Have the decency to look at me.” Spittle hits my face, and I catch the scent of the burger he had for lunch.
“I didn’t know she was your sister.” I’m not trying to defend myself. I just want him to have all the facts.
“And you abandoned her when she got pregnant with your son.”
As he shakes me, I have to grit my teeth against the pain. I deserve this. If he wants to punch me, I’ll lie here and take it because I am the scum he thinks I am. When I think about Paige going through pregnancy alone, my heart aches.
“I didn’t know.” My voice is a croak, but Hudson isn’t listening.
His fist comes up and stops an inch away from my jaw. He shakes with rage, then releases my collar.
“I won’t hit a man lying down.”
He drops me onto the bed, causing a fresh jolt of pain.
“I left the Teams because you didn’t own up as the father. I gave up a career I loved to step in for you.”
There’s no point in telling him again that I didn’t know. Hudson has made up his mind about me, and he’s right. I’m an asshole.
“And you let me do it,” he spits it out.
He shakes his head as he strides to the door. I want him to leave. I want to lie here and burrow into the blankets and hide from all the pain I’ve caused.
Turning at the door, he points a finger at me. “I’ve been busting my ass to help you Ryan, but you know what? I’m done. You’re on your own.”
He slams the door on his way out so hard it shakes the walls. I listen to his angry footsteps fade away down the path until the only sounds are the hum of the refrigerator and the tick of the wall clock.
My stomach churns, and my chest is heavy. I’ve let Paige down. I’ve let Hudson down. I’ve let every damn person who matters in my life down, including myself. I’ve caused that family pain, and I won’t do it anymore.
Rolling over, I grab the bottle of pills by the side of the bed. With shaking hands, I tip them into my palm.
The thought hits me, ugly and quiet—an easy way out.
I reach for the coffee, gone cold by the side of the bed. As I do, my gaze lands on the picture on the front page of one of the papers the nurse left me, and everything stops.
Smiling out from the front cover are Paige and Noah.
She’s kneeling by a green shed with Noah as he pours water into a flower pot. He’s got a huge grin on his face, and she’s looking down at him, smiling. He stares up at her with big round eyes.
My son.
I pause with the pills in one hand and the coffee in the other.
I’ve caused her pain, but the love she has for the little boy is obvious. What did she say? He’s the best thing that’s happened in my life.
Her smile burns through the fog like sunlight through murky water. She’s lit up, he’s laughing, and suddenly, I want to be too.
For three years, I’ve longed to run into “Rose” again. Now I have, and it’s far from how I imagined it. I’m not the man Paige needs, but it’s no longer about me.
I stare at the pills in my hand and launch them across the room. They bounce off the cupboards and skitter across the floor, and more than one rolls under the refrigerator.
The weight on my chest lifts as I suck in a long, deep breath. My head feels foggy, but one thought keeps reverberating around my brain.
I have a son.