Thirty-Nine
Three weeks later . . .
August 2024
Today is the first time we’ve all met up for ten years, but it won’t be all of us this time. Sadly, there is one mermaid missing.
Rob’s post-mortem results came back, to the immense relief of us all, with the result of accidental death.
It said that he had a high level of drugs in his body the night he died, but because he was on so much medication for his cancer, it wasn’t clear whether the drugs or drowning had been the cause of his death.
The truth is no one will ever know why Rob died that night. He may have taken more pills than he needed, he may have slipped while taking a nighttime walk on the cliffs – he told me he often couldn’t sleep and went for a walk at night when it was quiet and calm, so he could have stumbled and fallen, I suppose. But I was pretty sure I knew the truth.
The way Rob talked to me earlier that day. He told me he didn’t have long; I think now he was trying to warn me. That last walk we took together; the things he said – I think he was trying to say goodbye. And the fact that he cleverly arranged for Mack to come back that night, so he would be here when we first heard . . .
There was a memorial service for Rob in LA.
Mack attended, but Claire and I didn’t. We stayed at home and watched as it was streamed over the internet for anyone who wanted to be a part of it but couldn’t be there in person. Claire and I watched amazed as tens of thousands of people tuned in with us. At the service, fellow actors and celebrities attended, and some stood up and spoke with both love and humour about working with him. Mack told us Rob’s manager and his agent were also in attendance, and they told Mack afterwards how much happier Rob seemed to them after retiring to Cornwall. Rob’s parents hadn’t been able to attend due to ill health, but his sisters had, and they had also taken the time to tell us that the happiest times of Rob’s life were definitely those he spent in St Felix, both before he became famous and during the last part of his life.
Claire and I organised our own memorial for Rob in St Felix. But instead of calling it a memorial, we chose instead to call it a celebration of his life.
Immediately following Rob’s death, Claire of course wanted to cancel the reunion. But after some thought, we both decided that since a lot of people that knew Rob would be there that weekend, it would be the perfect time to hold the celebration.
So that’s what we did. And today, along with our fellow mermaids, we attended the same church where we’ve stood together over the years for school carol concerts, Claire’s wedding and Mandy’s sister’s funeral. We wore bright clothing, sung songs of celebration, not mourning, and spoke with love and often passion about the Rob we knew. The church was packed out, not only with people that Rob knew in St Felix, but with our fellow schoolmates too, and it was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. Mack even managed to reform his old rock band and they played a medley of rock tunes mainly from the eighties.
I hope you know how much you were loved, Rob?
I think, looking up as we all stand to begin filing out of the church. Not only by all these people here today. But by me especially.
A song begins to play as we begin walking down the aisle towards the doors of the church.
‘Why is this song playing?’ I whisper to Claire. ‘This isn’t what we arranged?’
‘Isn’t it?’ Claire whispers back. ‘I thought we were having Bon Jovi?’
‘Yes, we were. But it was supposed to be “It’s My Life”, not this song.’
Claire listens for a moment. ‘I agree it’s not as upbeat as we wanted to keep this. But it’s fine, Frankie. Don’t worry. Everything else has gone to plan. Rob would have loved it.’
I don’t blame Claire for not understanding. No one else knew what the song playing meant. No one except Rob and me. Because playing all around us as we begin to walk out of the church is Bon Jovi’s ‘Always’.
Afterwards the vicar – also a fan, apparently – apologises to me for playing the wrong song. ‘I don’t know how it happened,’ she says. ‘I didn’t think it was even on the playlist you’d given me.’
But I know.
Rob let me know that day on the cliff, what was going to happen, and he’d let me know today there would be a special place in both our hearts for the other . . . Always.
*
‘He was pretty organised, wasn’t he?’ Mandy says as we sit on the rocks overlooking Morvoren Cove. The last of our guests finally departed after a wonderful evening spent in Eddie and Dexter’s restaurant, celebrating Rob’s life. Eddie and Dexter were the perfect hosts, and I think everyone left with feelings of warmth and contentment, rather than sadness, which is what we set out to achieve all along.
Currently, Suzy’s husband, Harry, and their twin boys, Lucas and Edward, are sitting up in the restaurant with Mandy’s partner, Jules. Claire’s children are also there, along with Rosie and her new boyfriend. They are all having a last drink with Dexter while the six of us have our own private vigil for Rob. We’ve tucked ourselves away in the rocks, just like we used to, and we’ve opened a bottle of champagne to toast our friend.
‘I mean, to leave everything so organised,’ Mandy continues. ‘With handwritten letters for all of us; he must have known he hadn’t got long?’ She looks questioningly at me.
I take a sip of my champagne. ‘Rob knew it was terminal this time. I think he just wanted to get everything in order, before the end.’
‘He certainly did that,’ Claire says, giving me a brief glance as she skilfully moves the conversation along. ‘It’s been such a weight off my mind that you all know the truth now.’
I nod gratefully at Claire.
Even though there were several of us there that day in the restaurant after Rob’s death, I only told Mack about my last conversation with Rob.
Mack and I discussed between ourselves what we thought might have taken place on the beach, but then we agreed that we’d never truly know, and we should simply let Rob rest in peace.
‘How did he keep it all so secret?’ Suzy says. ‘He was like the Rick Stein of St Felix, owning all those buildings.’
‘Who’s Rick Stein?’ Mack asks.
‘He’s quite a famous restaurateur,’ Eddie explains. ‘He owns a lot of buildings in and around Padstow, where he has a famous fish restaurant.’
Mack nods. ‘It does ring a bell.’
‘I had no idea Rob owned the building our restaurant is in,’ Eddie says. ‘I just paid the rent every month. To you as it turns out, Claire.’
‘I only looked after it all for Rob,’ Claire says. ‘It was all his idea. He knew if he offered to help any of you, you’d be too proud to accept. Especially you, Frankie.’
‘And he was right.’ I smile. There was no way I’d have allowed Rob to buy me my gallery. It was bad enough when he wanted to buy me and Rosie a house.’
‘He was going to buy you a house!’ Mandy exclaims. ‘And you said no?’
‘I did. You also offered to help me that same night, if you remember? It was the night of Eddie and Dexter’s wedding. I said no to that as well. I was very proud back then. Maybe a little too proud. I should have accepted help from my friends.’
Mack squeezes my hand. ‘But if you had, things might have turned out differently.’
‘That is true.’
‘So, Eddie now owns all of his restaurant instead of paying rent on it,’ Mandy says. ‘You own the building your gallery is in, Frankie, and you, Mack, own the pub.’
Mack nods. ‘Rob gave me a great deal on the place. As always, he was very generous.’
‘Well, me and Suzy should be feeling left out,’ Mandy says, grinning. ‘We didn’t get anything! Nah, I’m kidding, of course. Rob made a very large donation to my favourite charity. He knew I didn’t need any of his money. And he said some very sweet things to me in his letter. I was quite touched by it.’
‘Actually,’ Suzy says, ‘Rob did help me out. David and I were offered money for our IVF from a benefactor who wanted to remain anonymous. I talked a lot at the time on various TV shows about my battles with infertility, so it wasn’t a secret by any means. But Rob told me in his letter – the mysterious benefactor was him. I have Rob to thank for my darling boys up there.’ Suzy looks up to the restaurant and waves to her family.
‘I think we should make a toast!’ Mack says, standing up. ‘To Rob.’
We all stand up with him.
‘To Rob,’ he says. ‘Our very famous, but also very
generous, friend.’
‘To Rob,’ we all repeat, lifting our glasses, and we are silent for a few moments as we each remember him in our own way.
We all sit down again and I seize the opportunity to attempt to confirm some things that have been bothering me for the last few weeks.
‘Do you remember the first time we were all here like this?’ I ask. ‘The night we threw the barrel back in the waves and made our wishes.’
Everyone nods.
‘I’ve been wondering lately if what you actually wished for came true. I know some of you have mentioned it over the years. But maybe now is the time to say what we actually wished for that night?’
‘Oh, fun!’ Suzy says first. ‘All right, yes. I’ve sort of mentioned this a bit before, but my wish was to be more confident and make a change. I certainly did that after I sang that night with that girl, Marnie Morrissey. You remember, she was only in our school for one night, but she certainly changed my life. First I had my singing career – which definitely helped me to gain confidence in myself. But as a result of that I found another voice – my political voice, and I’ve definitely brought about change during my political career. So, yes, my wish really did come true.’ She looks across at Mandy. ‘Mandy, do you want to go next?’
‘All right, why not?’ Mandy says. ‘You all know mine already. I thought I’d wished not to have a sister. But at the time of throwing the barrel, not only did I wish I could live my life as my true self, which I’ve told you about before, but I also wished I could be rich and successful in life. And guess what – I’m both those things! I am definitely successful,’ she says without any embarrassment. ‘But, more importantly, I’m also very rich . . . in love.’ She lifts her glass up towards the restaurant and Jules. ‘So, like Suzy, it seems my wish, if you can call it that, did come true. More coincidence and a lot of hard work if you ask me, but I’ll go along with it, since it’s you lot.’ She winks.
‘But you said it was Rob’s first agent who set you on the path to becoming your true self, didn’t you?’ I ask. ‘What was her name again? Jenna?’
‘Yes,’ Mandy says, remembering. ‘Jenna Morgan. She was my first; I’d almost forgotten . . . ’
I tick the name off mentally in my mind.
Just as I thought, for Suzy, it was Marnie Morrissey who changed her life, and for Mandy it was Jenna Morgan. So far, so good – my theory is working out.
‘Claire?’ I ask. ‘You next?’
‘My wish as you all know was to get married, have a family and make people happy. I definitely, if disastrously, did the first one.’ She grimaces. ‘The second . . . well, I actually have two families now – my children and now Frankie and her family too.’ She smiles at me. ‘And the last . . . I think I do that with my therapy and counselling groups – people usually leave much happier than when they first arrive. But to make others happy, I didn’t realise I had to be happy myself. And I would never have achieved that if I hadn’t met Mandy’s aunt, Marilyn. Her help was invaluable in giving me the confidence to leave Jonathan and step out on my own. She really was my saviour.’
Mandy smiles. ‘It’s funny, I mentioned that to Marilyn once at a family event, and she didn’t recall meeting you the night of the funeral at all. She only remembers you turning up at her counselling group.’
Makes sense
, I think to myself. Even though this was still so hard for me to believe, the evidence was all there and like a detective, as I piece each clue together, they are all fitting together perfectly – all except one.
‘I wonder if Marilyn remembers me?’ Eddie says. ‘She was the one who came to me that night and suggested I go to the estate agent the next morning. Not only did I decide to rent our little café that day, but I met Dexter there too.’
‘And was that your wish?’ Claire asks. I can see the others becoming more and more intrigued by this conversation as we go along.
‘Yes, exactly. I wished I could do lots of different things in my life – which I did. I wanted to have my own business.’ He gestures up towards the café. ‘And I wanted to be in love and – the big one – I wanted to get married. Remember, when I made that wish it was still impossible and illegal for gay couples to marry. I never thought it would actually come true, that’s why I wished it – to test the system, so to speak.’
‘It sounds like you were testing the mermaid, or maybe the myth?’ Mack says, smiling. ‘I’m glad it came true for you, Eddie.’
Eddie nods at Mack.
So that’s another
, I think, piecing this together in my mind – Marilyn
.
‘What is your aunt’s surname, Mandy?’ I ask. Forgetting that no one else knows why I need to know this.
‘Why?’ Mandy asks.
‘I was just wondering if I’d seen her around here lately?’
‘I doubt it,’ Mandy says. ‘She lives in an old folks’ home in Cardiff these days. It was Irving, I think.’
I can’t remember if that fits. But I’m certain it will. I’ll check it later.
‘Sadly, we’ll never know Rob’s wish,’ Suzy says. ‘I bet it was something to do with you, Frankie.’
I blush and reach for my glass.
‘Do you know?’ Mandy asks. ‘You’ve gone awfully quiet.’
‘Rob did tell me – in his letter,’ I say quietly. ‘It was partly to do with me, but he also wanted to run the Merry Mermaid, like his parents had.’
‘Ah, that’s nice.’ Claire smiles. ‘He got to do that.’
‘Do you want to tell us what he wished that was to do with you, Frankie?’ Suzy asks gently. ‘Or would you rather keep it private?’ She glances at Mack.
‘I’m easy if you want to share?’ Mack says. ‘We all know you two were close.’
Mack squeezes my hand again and I nod.
‘Rob wished that I would be a part of his life, for ever,’ I tell the others, as my heart squeezes tightly as I think about Rob again. ‘Which I was, even if it wasn’t quite in the way he hoped when we were fifteen.’
Everyone is silent now as they think about Rob once more.
‘That is actually really lovely,’ Mandy says, and she looks quite tearful. ‘Blimey, you’ve even pierced my tough old heart with that one.’
‘And what about you?’ Mack asks me. ‘We’ve heard everyone else’s wish – what did you wish for, Frankie?’
‘Ah me,’ I say knowing it would be my turn eventually. ‘I wished for multiple things as well – like we all did actually.’ I smile at the others. ‘Not like we were greedy or anything?’ I wink at them. ‘I wished I could be a professional artist one day with my own gallery – which of course after many years I now am, and also have – thanks to Rob.’
‘And?’ Claire asks perceptively. ‘What were the other things?’
‘There was only one other thing. When Rob and I were together, one day Rob took a piece of driftwood and used it to draw a huge heart on the sand. Inside that heart he wrote “FH 4 RM for ever”. I thought it was really cute at the time, so when I made my wish, I asked that FH would fall in love with RM for ever, and RM would fall in love with FH for ever too.’
‘Aw, that’s so special,’ Eddie says. ‘And he did fall in love with you, Frankie. I think Rob always secretly held a candle for you.’
‘That’s what I always thought it meant too,’ I say, hardly daring to look at Mack. I can already feel his hand has loosened its grip a little on mine. ‘But the other day I realised maybe it meant something else too.’
‘What?’ Claire asks.
‘Remember when I went to see you at the pub the other day?’ I ask, turning to Mack.
He nods, but still looks worried.
‘You had just had your name put above the door, hadn’t you?’
‘Yes, it’s the law here. You have to display your licence to sell alcohol.’
‘I know, but it was the first time I’d seen your name – your full name.’
Mack looks confused. But then he gets what I’m hinting at, and he smiles.
‘And you didn’t know before then?’ he asks, his smile getting broader by the moment.
I shake my head. ‘But I do now.’
Mack leans forward, about to kiss me.
‘Whoa!’ I hear Mandy shout. ‘An explanation, please, for the rest of us?’
‘Sorry.’ I turn back to them. ‘Mack’s full name is . . . ’ I look at Mack. ‘You tell them.’
‘My name is Robert Mackenzie,’ he says, looking at all the other mermaids to see if they understand. ‘My nickname has always been Mack, since I was at school. There were far too many Roberts around in the eighties, so I got called something different and it stuck.’
I grin at the others. ‘His initials are RM. I didn’t wish I could fall in love with Rob for ever, I wished I could fall in love with RM and, I’m very happy to say that’s exactly what I have done.’ I turn to Mack and I do kiss him this time.
‘My mermaid wish came true,’ I say, addressing my oldest and dearest friends. ‘Just like all of our wishes did. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but it seems we are not the only mermaids of St Felix. There are a few more out there too, and at least one of them has been helping us all out since 1989.’