Chapter Thirty-Eight
Benedict woke them in the morning. He had spent much of the night just outside their door. He was punishing himself, he knew. He thought that sitting on hard stone while another man tupped his wife would be fitting punishment for his failure.
But a strange thing happened as the night wore on.
Instead of growing angry with every rough exclamation, instead of feeling pain with the moans of pleasure or sighs of delight, he found himself feeling a sweet joy.
His best friend and his wife were finding happiness together, and that made him…
well, not quite happy. He was sure that given his perversion, he would never taste that emotion without shame.
But at least he was content in their joy, and that was more than he had dared hope for.
So soon after dawn, he roused himself from his solitary punishment to feel a new hope inside. He performed his toilette as per usual, and then he gathered the breakfast Mrs. Carr had left for them, carrying it to the master bedroom.
He knocked quietly then entered, setting the tray down on the nearby table.
Gabriel woke at once, his eyes popping open as he tightened his arm protectively around Janelle.
She was sleeping, curled sweetly against Gabriel’s side, but she woke and blinked, clearly trying to dash the sleep from her eyes.
“Good morning,” Benedict said, his tone kind.
That was not his usual way. He was refined in his diction, and often brusque.
But this morning, he looked down on his closest friends and smiled, though a part of him damned himself for looking not at the beautiful woman but at the chiseled body of the man.
“Benny,” Gabriel said, his tone tight.
“I’ve come to talk to you both about how the next few months shall go.”
Gabriel pushed upright in the bed, using the sheet to cover her, not himself.
Honestly, it would be less distracting if he’d done the opposite.
Nevertheless, Benedict grabbed his wife’s wrap, absently noting the shredded negligee on the floor, and handed it to her.
She donned it quickly, her cheeks red with embarrassment while Gabriel thankfully, managed to pull on a shirt.
“I should like to stay here for a month,” Benedict said, doing his best not to let his gaze linger on the tuft of chest hair peeking out through the V in Gabriel’s shirt. “We shall rise not so very early and go riding, all three of us.”
“All of us?” Janelle asked.
“All of us. I want the villagers to get used to the three of us together. I also want us to be easy companions, and that can only happen with time.”
Gabriel was already thinking, his agile mind no doubt figuring out what Benedict planned. He would be able to guess a great deal, but not all. And Benedict looked forward to seeing Gabriel’s face when he heard the rest. Or at least all that Benedict planned to share right then.
“The daytime will be left to our own pursuits, though I expect I shall need Gabriel’s help.” He sighed. “There is already a great deal of correspondence to manage.”
“Of course, my lord.”
“And you will always call me Benny, now. I think becoming the father of my children deserves at least that much.”
Both Gabriel and Janelle stilled at that, but then they looked at one another with a kind of wide-eyed delight.
Love had grown between them last night. It was now a palpable thing in the room.
Odd that he didn’t feel excluded by it. At best, he felt a whisper of a wish.
No one would ever look at him like that, though the look they gave him now was close.
Very, very close.
“There is more,” Gabriel said, his head tilting as he studied Benedict. “You have more than morning exercise in mind.”
“I do,” he confirmed. “The locals shall know you both. Janelle, there are even a few pregnant ladies I would like you to help.”
She straightened up. “Really? Betty will be happy to—”
“Good God, not Betty!” He rolled his eyes at her. “You will help them as my wife and the lady of the castle.”
She gaped at him. “But I thought… Isn’t it unseemly for a lady to work?”
“If you had studied history rather than medicine, you would know that most ladies worked extremely hard and were often the midwives to the area. Furthermore, you will find that a countess is allowed a great deal more than a baron’s daughter.”
He watched as the realization rolled through her. Her mouth opened in surprise, but then steadily shifted to happiness. “I can be a midwife here? Without hiding?”
“Only a fool would stop a woman—wife or otherwise—from helping his people. So long as you are safe, I shall do everything I can to support your endeavors.”
Gabriel took her hand in his. “I will see to her safety.”
“You bloody well will. At least for now, I want you with her whenever she goes visiting and within earshot whenever she works.”
“Done,” Gabriel said, though Janelle rolled her eyes.
“I have been delivering babies for years without either of you hovering over me.”
Benedict drew breath to explain that he would brook no argument, but he needn’t have bothered. Gabriel was there before him, speaking reason to the stubborn woman.
“I can haul water and carry your bag. You know I will not interfere unless you need help. And it is dangerous for a countess to travel around at night without protection.”
His voice allowed no argument, and she didn’t give any. He didn’t know if she saw reason or if she simply wanted Gabriel near. Either way made no difference. The decision was made.
“There is something else,” Benedict continued. “When I was last here, I fired my steward. He was making a right hash of things and couldn’t even bother to hide it. He’s gone, and I want you to manage the land in his stead.”
Gabriel gaped at him. “You what?”
Ah, there was that look that he adored. Total shock. It wasn’t often that he surprised Gabriel. They had spent too much time in each other’s company for that. But right now, he had shocked the man down to his toes.
“You’ve always wanted to own land, Gabriel. You’ve dreamed of it.”
Gabriel shook his head. “I… No.”
“You never thought it possible. You never thought you’d have the money to buy anything.”
“I don’t.”
“And you still don’t. But now you can try your hand at it. You’ve left the military. You cannot be a diplomat now given your agreement with your mother. This is something to learn.” He gestured outside to the extensive land around them.
“I have to be in London.”
“Part of the time. Perhaps most of the time. But you’ll need a place to escape to, somewhere to clear your head of London.
” Then before Gabriel could argue more, he shrugged.
“In any event, you’ve got a month to figure it out.
Maybe more.” He flashed a smile at Janelle.
“Long enough to get you with child. I want no questions if I have to hurry off to Vienna.”
Janelle’s cheeks colored at that, but she nodded.
“I’ve told Mr. and Mrs. Carr and those children to stay away while we honeymoon.
You can hire workmen if you like, Gabriel.
Fix up whatever you think necessary. Just be sure they are gone by evening meal which we will share together.
And then,” he grinned as he gestured to the bed.
“Then I shall retire to my den and you two shall make me a son, yes? I shall love a daughter equally well, of course, but a son will carry my title.”
Gabriel leaned back against the bedboard. “You’ve got this all figured out then, don’t you?”
“I do,” he answered, trying—and failing—to not appear smug. “Do you know Gabriel purchased the Rose Garden and My Lady’s Apothecary for you.”
“What?” Janelle gasped. “How?”
“You should ask Gabriel that. It was a heavy price.” He winked at Janelle.
“In any event, it’s your wedding present from him.
And mine is that I shall pay for the repairs to the property.
” He grunted as he drank his tea. “He’ll manage the repairs though because I haven’t the least interest in that. ”
Janelle pressed her hands to her mouth, her eyes wet with tears. She started to say something, but appeared too overcome to speak. As usual, Gabriel was already working the logistics.
“We can split our time between here and London,” he said. “There’s a great deal to do in both places, but we can manage it.” He looked to Janelle. “If you want it.”
“Of course, I want it!” she exclaimed. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted!”
Such a wonder to give to a woman who knew the value of what she was offered, who appreciated the gift even as she planned to expand and grow things that he had merely started.
And then she surprised him by setting her hand atop his.
She curled her fingers around until he had no choice but to entwine their fingers together.
“What about you, Benedict? What of your happiness?”
“Don’t you understand?” he asked. “Give me children, Janelle. Lots of them. Give them your intelligence and his strength. Let me teach them what it means to carry a title and let Gabriel show them how to thrive when everything is stacked against them. That will be the secret joy of my days.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the full truth. She was still too innocent to realize that he would never feel the happiness that she did. He was too twisted around with shame to ever stand fully in the light as she did, as Gabriel would one day soon.
But for the moment, he had forged a good foundation. Even if he could not fully participate in happiness, he could feel satisfaction in what they built. And he would be content with that.
His gaze turned to Gabriel who watched him with steady eyes.
Gabriel knew what Janelle did not yet comprehend—that Gabriel was the bridge between Benedict’s darkness and Janelle’s light.
He was the one who would forge all three of their lives into perfection through sheer force of will.
He was the brick and the mortar on which all things were built.
And for that, Benedict was eternally grateful.
“Thank you,” Gabriel said.
“It is my absolute pleasure,” he answered.
And then he pushed up to his feet. “Now eat up,” he said as he pointed to the tray.
“We’re all staying in this morning. I shall be busy sorting out a way to satisfy those damned Italians.
Napoleon has fired them up, and now they want blood.
They are a lovely people in general, but stubborn when they have a mind to be. ”
“I shall be down immediately,” Gabriel said and began to climb out of bed. Benedict stopped him.
“You will not move a muscle this day except in the pursuit of rest and what pleasure you desire. My lady, he has done the work of ten men these last few weeks. I will be very cross if he exerts himself today in anything but the most restorative of ways.”
“Restorative?” Janelle said, her tone laced with humor. “I’ve heard it called worse things.”
“Excellent,” Benedict said as he headed for the door. “I shall leave his care in your expert hands.” He had his hand on the doorknob when his wife called out his name. Her tone was sweet, but no less firm.
“Lord Benedict!”
He paused, twisting around enough to see the earnestness on her face. “Yes?”
“There is love here,” she said. Then she grimaced at her awkward phrasing. “I mean, I have love for you, too. We both do.” And though Gabriel didn’t speak, he nodded his agreement.
The wall around Benedict’s heart softened and warmth spilled through the cracks. Odd how a woman’s smile could do that for him when he usually had no use for them. But Janelle was different. He had known it from the beginning.
He smiled. “You once spoke to me about finding a secret elixir. A magic potion of some sort to ease the pain of childbirth.”
She nodded. “I’m hoping for something to prevent childbed fever as well, but—”
“There is no elixir, I think, to keep pain away. No life can avoid it, but I think you have found your magic potion to get us through it.”
Janelle shook her head, not understanding him, and no wonder. She did not have the history with him that Gabriel did.
“Benny is talking philosophy,” Gabe said. “He does that when he is happy.”
And now his wife appeared even more confused. “Philosophy?”
“Love, my dear,” Benedict continued. “That is the secret. Gabriel is the bridge between us and a glorious future. But you, my dear, you carry the magic.”
She snorted. “I am not—”
“You are,” Gabriel interrupted as he pressed a kiss to her palm. “You are the magic elixir, the special potion, the love that will cement us together.”
She looked at the two of them, her expression amused. “It appears you both speak nonsense when happy. Very well, I am the magic elixir. You are the bridge. What are you, my lord?”
“Happy,” he said with complete honesty. “Very, very happy.”
Then he left them to their amusements while he sought his own. And if God was kind, his heir would appear in good time. Then life would become very exciting indeed.