5. Milly
Zoe settled into the passenger seat and looked at her expectantly. “How was the date? Was it fun? Did you like him? Tell me everything.”
Milly felt a stab of guilt. “Zoe—”
“I’m okay with it, honestly. You deserve to be happy. Can I meet him?” She broke off, uncertain. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I get it.”
How had she ever got herself in this tangled mess? She tried never to tell lies, and she hadn’t lied. She just hadn’t told them what she was doing, and when they’d made assumptions she hadn’t corrected them because she knew that if she’d corrected them, then they would have wanted to know the truth, and that would have meant violating her promise to Nicole.
Also she didn’t want to talk about Nicole. She’d told no one that her friend had ghosted her. It had been too painful, so she’d kept that to herself. It felt like another failure on her part. She imagined people looking at her and thinking First her husband, and then her best friend .
It was at times like this she wished she wasn’t so close to her family. Normally she was grateful for it, but it made things complicated when you had something to hide.
“Zoe, there’s something I need to tell you, and I need to tell you before you get home tonight.”
“What? Is he at the boathouse? Are you about to tell me that your date went so well he’s moving in?”
“No! Why would you—” Milly took a deep breath. “It wasn’t a date, Zoe. I never said it was a date.”
“But Gramma and Nanna Peg said—”
“I know what they said. When I told them I needed you to stay with them for the night, they jumped to conclusions, and I didn’t correct them.”
“Why not?”
“Because they needed to think something, and I couldn’t tell them the truth. I made a promise to someone.” And now she was about to break that promise, but she couldn’t see any other way. Zoe lived in the boathouse. What was Milly supposed to do? Arrange for her daughter to stay with her grandmother for the duration of Nicole’s visit however long that turned out to be? That wasn’t going to happen. After all the upheaval Zoe had endured in the past eighteen months, Milly was determined to minimize any change in her life. No, Zoe was staying in her own home. Sleeping in her own room.
All the same she felt uncomfortable because she prided herself on being one hundred percent discreet and dependable as a friend, and that wasn’t going to change just because Nicole’s own behavior had fallen short. If someone told her a secret, she guarded it fiercely. And Nicole’s presence was a secret.
She wished she’d thought to discuss this part with Nicole so at least she was warned.
“I’m going to tell you something, and you can’t repeat it to anyone. Not to Dad, not to your friends at school—especially not your friends at school. I’m trusting you with this because I know you won’t gossip.”
Did she know that? Zoe was thirteen and had a close group of friends. Granted, they spent far more time outdoors on their bikes than they did curled up indoors painting their nails, but they were still teenagers, and they still giggled and talked. Milly didn’t know what they talked about, but remembering herself at the same age she was pretty sure there weren’t many topics that would be out of bounds. Zoe probably talked about things she wouldn’t discuss with her mother, which was exactly how it should be, of course. But gossip? The sharing of secrets? That was different. Having Nicole Raven staying in your house would be enough to make the average teenager burst with excitement, but hopefully Zoe would be able to contain herself.
Milly drove out of the village and eased into the traffic on the main road.
Zoe was virtually vibrating with expectation. “What?”
“Do you promise not to say anything?”
“I promise! Am I supposed to swear a blood oath or something? This is pretty intense. What’s going on?”
“Last night I had to go out, that’s true, but I wasn’t on a date.”
“I know! You just said that, but where were you, then? Mum, you’re killing me. Just say it!”
But once she said it she wouldn’t be able to unsay it. She wished she’d never been put in this position. “Nicole called me a couple of days ago.”
“Nicole?” There was a pause as Zoe absorbed that. “You mean our Nicole? Aunt Nicole?”
“Yes, our Nicole.” She felt a pang of loss because there had been a time when she had indeed thought of her friend that way. When they were young she’d thought of Nicole as family. Sister . She’d had such a shiny view of their friendship. “She called and asked me for help. She’s in some trouble.”
“Is this anything to do with that story a few days ago? The one with Justin Fisher pulling stupid faces next to his wife? Awkward. You could tell he so didn’t want to be there. She had her hand locked around his wrist, like literally trapping him in place so he couldn’t run.”
It probably shouldn’t have surprised her that her daughter knew more about it than she did, but what did surprise her was that Zoe hadn’t mentioned it.
“You’ve seen those stories?”
“Everyone has seen those stories.”
“You didn’t mention it.”
“Because you hate that stuff. You always have.”
That was true. “I’m guessing it’s linked. She’s being hounded by the press. She asked for my help, and I agreed. I picked her up from the station last night. We got in late and both went straight to sleep. We haven’t talked about it properly yet.” That conversation was still to come, and she wasn’t looking forward to it. Even though Nicole had hinted that there was more to the story than the headlines suggested, technically she was Avery in this situation. Milly wasn’t confident she’d be able to offer nonjudgmental support. She wanted to be worldly and broad-minded, but she wasn’t feeling either of those things. She was feeling disillusioned and disappointed, and she didn’t understand why people couldn’t exercise more self-restraint. There were plenty of men in the world, plenty of single men, so why did Avery have to target Richard?
She realized that Avery and Nicole had somehow merged together in her mind. She needed to separate them.
“You’re saying Aunt Nicole is staying in our house?” Zoe’s voice was an excited squeak. “Like hiding?”
“Yes, I suppose you could say she is hiding.” Milly felt a sudden flash of panic. What if someone knocked on her door before she got home? It was unlikely, but not impossible.
Hopefully Nicole would have the sense not to open the door.
“This is amazing!” Zoe virtually bounced on her seat. “Aunt Nicole in my house. Unbelievable.”
It was a good thing that one of them was excited.
“You’ve known her since you were a baby, and we’ve stayed with her before.”
“I know we have, and that was amazing too, but this is different. Nicole Raven is in my house ! It’s a very big deal.” Zoe was transformed by the news. There was no slump in her shoulders, and her face was one big smile. “Can she share my room?”
“I’ve made up the sofa in the study for now.”
“I can’t believe she’s staying with us. How long for?”
“I don’t know.” Forever. No, surely Nicole had been kidding about that. On the other hand if her presence was going to make Zoe this happy, then as far as Milly was concerned Nicole could move in for good. “You can’t say anything to anyone.”
“I won’t. But why is she hiding? She shouldn’t be the one hiding. He should be hiding. He’s so fake. And weak.” Zoe injected the last word with all the disdain of her thirteen years. “Also a cheat. Nicole can do so much better.”
Milly hadn’t expected that reaction. She hadn’t expected her daughter to have an opinion on the subject at all. She still thought of her as a child most of the time. “The news reports are calling her a home-wrecker .”
“Ugh,” Zoe said disparagingly. “They always blame the woman. Have you noticed that? Cally says it’s a sign the patriarchy is alive and well. Aunt Nicole is single,” she said. “She didn’t cheat, lie or break promises did she? He’s the one who is married. He made a choice, and now he’s been caught out he’s like making out he’s some sort of victim because he’s too much of a coward to own his decision.”
This conversation wasn’t going the way Milly had expected it to. “You’ve talked about it with your friends?”
“Aunt Nicole is our favorite actor. She’s Amara, Mum. She saved the world, remember? You saw the movie.”
One minute they were grown-up and talking about the patriarchy and the next they were children talking about a character as if they were real.
“Right. Well, Nicole/Amara is staying with us, and we can’t tell anyone. I probably should have checked you were okay with it before agreeing, but it all happened quickly, and she was desperate, and I felt I should offer support.” And she still didn’t know if that made her a good friend or a total pushover.
“Of course you had to help. She’s your closest friend.”
And for Zoe that was all it took. It seemed simple to her, just as it would have seemed simple to Milly at the same age. You helped your closest friend. You dropped everything for your closest friend. Sisterhood was real.
Until it wasn’t.
“So you won’t mind her being there?”
“Mind? Are you kidding?” Zoe grinned. “I mean, she’s like the biggest actor in the world. So hot right now. I really liked her as that archaeologist in the dinosaur movie, but Amara was her best part. I have seen that movie at least nine times. She doesn’t take any crap from anyone.”
“Language.”
“Sorry, but it’s true. She’s so strong. She meets every obstacle head-on.”
Milly wished she was more like Amara. If she was, she’d talk to Richard face-to-face about his bad behavior instead of calling when she knew he wasn’t going to answer his phone and leaving an insipid message.
Although, he did the same to her. He’d left a message on her phone an hour ago telling her he wasn’t going to be able to have Zoe to stay at the weekend after all.
As usual he’d left her to break the news to his daughter. She was expected to reframe the message in a way that was more palatable. But now wasn’t the moment. She was too upset with him to keep her tone neutral.
This was one of those times when she missed her old friendship with Nicole. She could have vented and maybe laughed, but now there was no chance of that.
She forced her mind back to the current problem. “I’m glad you’re excited, but keep it to yourself.”
“Got it. It’s a secret. But you’re going to have to tell Gramma and Nanna Peg, otherwise they will keep asking about your date. Also they’re always popping into the boathouse on their way past, so unless Nicole is going to be hiding under the bed the whole time they’re going to find her.”
She wasn’t wrong about that.
“I am going to tell them, but I wanted to discuss it with Nicole first.”
Zoe grabbed her schoolbag from the floor of the car. “And how exactly are you going to hide her? Is she going to wear a disguise or something?”
“I haven’t figured that part out yet. For the moment she is staying indoors, and hopefully that will be enough.” Milly pulled up outside the school. Her head was throbbing. “Have a good day. I’ll be back here at four to pick you up.”
“Five. I have an extra drama session because the play is coming up.”
“Five it is.” Was it her imagination, or did Zoe seem less enthusiastic about that than she should have been? “How’s that going?”
“Great.” Zoe smiled brightly. “I’ll see you later, unless you want to send Nicole, and if she could come dressed as Amara, that would be even better. At least it would make me popular.”
“She’s keeping a low profile, so she won’t be coming dressed as Amara. Oh, there’s Cally—” Milly spotted Zoe’s best friend heading toward school. She gave a little beep of her horn, and Cally glanced briefly at the car but then carried on walking. “She didn’t see us. If you sprint, you can catch her.”
“Sure. See you later.” Zoe opened the car door and headed toward school, but she didn’t sprint or yell for Cally to wait.
Milly watched her go and only then did Zoe’s words penetrate her busy brain.
At least it would make me popular.
What did she mean by that? To the best of her knowledge Zoe had never had any trouble making friends, but her best friend had always been Cally. They had the same special bond that Milly and Nicole had once had. As close as blades of grass , as her mother used to say.
So why the comment about being popular? Was she being flippant, or did it mean something?
Exhausted at the thought that she now had something else to worry about, she drove home, thinking instead of what her daughter had said about Nicole.
She didn’t cheat, lie or break promises did she? He’s the one who is married.
The same could be said of Richard, but Milly had directed most of her anger toward Avery. She’d been angry and upset that Avery had chosen to have an affair with a married man when she could have picked anyone. But Richard could have chosen not to, couldn’t he?
He could have chosen Milly. But he’d chosen Avery.
Milly’s eyes stung. She hated feeling this way. Richard was getting on with his life, and she was still stuck in the same place, her confidence stripped away.
That was why she preferred to blame Avery. It was easier to handle emotionally than acknowledging that Richard had made a choice not to be with her.
But he had made that choice, and it was time he took responsibility for it. And it was time he took responsibility for his daughter.
She pulled over and dialed his number. It went straight to voice mail, which was a relief, and she almost left her usual civilized polite response acknowledging that she’d received his message and would pass it on, but then she stopped herself. Be more Amara.
“You know what, Richard?” Her voice was strong and clear. “If you can’t keep your promises to your daughter, then don’t make them in the first place. Every time you don’t show up, you’re telling her she’s not important, that she doesn’t matter, and I’m damned if you’re going to make her feel as if she doesn’t matter. So don’t do it. Just don’t.”
She was shaking as she ended the call, but she also felt vaguely satisfied. Okay, so she hadn’t actually said the words to his face, but at least she’d made it clear that his behavior was unacceptable. It was a start.
Maybe she wouldn’t ask for a refund on her assertiveness course after all.
Feeling a little more in control than usual, she headed back to Forest Nest and parked outside the building that housed the reception area for the resort and their offices.
“Hi, Milly!” Anna was working behind the reception desk. “Everyone is already in the meeting. There’s a coffee waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Anna. Any problems?”
“Not so far. There was a leak in the bathroom in Aspen Lodge, but the new guests aren’t due to arrive until five, and Joel thinks he will have it sorted by then. He sent his regrets. He’s prioritizing plumbing over the meeting. He says he needs to talk to you later about doing some maintenance on the deck.”
“No problem. I’ll find him when we’re done here. Thanks, Anna.” She walked through to the private staff offices that were behind the desk.
The buzz of conversation eased as she walked into the room. “Hi, everyone. I know you’re all busy, so let’s make this quick.” She sat down, took a sip of coffee and glanced at her team. Most of them had worked at Forest Nest for years, first for her mother and now for her. The people here felt more like family than colleagues. “Sofia? Why don’t you start?”
Sofia was head of Guest Relations. She made it her business to know as much as she possibly could about each person checking in so that they could deliver a bespoke service.
“The guests in Hazel, Blackthorn, Elder, Hawthorn and Aspen have all checked out this morning, and those cabins are booked out next week so we have a busy turnaround day. Mark and Philip Tyrell are in Hazel, and this is their honeymoon, so we need to add a bottle of fizz to their welcome pack, Lorna.”
“Got it.” Lorna was head of Housekeeping and prided herself in keeping the mud and all evidence of the lake and forest outside the cabins.
“Blackthorn Lodge is booked out to a young couple from Australia who have visited before,” Sofia said. “They’d like mountain bikes for the whole week. Geoff?”
“Already waiting for them outside the lodge.”
“He’s six foot three—”
“I know. It’s in the notes. We didn’t have the right bike, so I had to do a fast negotiation with my opposite number at a certain hotel we will not name, but it’s all sorted.”
Not for the first time Milly was grateful for the excellent relationship they maintained with all the local businesses. It was something her mother had started, and Milly had been careful to continue that approach.
This area was blessed with more than its fair share of upmarket hotels, which meant they couldn’t afford to let their standards drop even for a moment.
Milly was confident that what they provided was every bit as luxurious as the five-star hotels close by, but with more flexibility and a personal touch. They kept meticulous records on every guest and offered a degree of privacy that was rare these days. The cabins had views across the lake and forest, and there was a wildness to the surroundings that guests found restorative.
“Elder is booked by a family who are new to us. It’s a seventieth-birthday celebration, so we have three generations in that lodge . . .” Sofia carried on, running them quickly through the names and details of the new arrivals so that everyone had all the necessary details.
Milly checked her notes. “Brendan Scott has booked Beech for the whole summer to finish writing his novel, so we just need to get in there at some point this week and make sure the place is clean for him.” There was silence around the table, and she glanced up. “What? Did I miss something?” She saw Sofia glance at Lorna, but Lorna kept her eyes down.
Trouble, Milly thought, but decided it was probably best dealt with privately.
“Leo is going to start opening the coffee shop at seven from tomorrow, and he’ll be serving the usual cakes and light lunches, with help from Tilly, who started two weeks ago and is doing brilliantly.” Maybe she should volunteer to help out. A commercial kitchen, even a small one, might cure her of her urge to bake in her own home. “Lorna, we’re going to start including some of their homemade brownies in the welcome packs.”
“The woman staying in Aspen is gluten-free,” Sofia said, and Lorna made a note.
“Tilly makes a perfect gluten-free cupcake, so I’ll substitute with that.”
Geoff smiled at her across the table. “How do you know it’s perfect? You’ve already tried it?”