25. Nicole
Chapter 25 Nicole
Connie slept, and Nicole and Milly quietly lifted chairs to the far side of the room so that they could sit together and talk without waking her.
Nicole put her hand over Milly’s and was relieved when she wasn’t rejected. “I didn’t know she’d collapsed in front of you. That must have been terrifying.”
She knew how that would have affected Milly. She knew how close her friend was to her mother and grandmother.
Even now Milly couldn’t look away from Connie. “I kept saying her name, and she didn’t seem to hear me—and then she crashed to the ground. I thought she was going to die.”
They talked in hushed voices, but that didn’t diminish the emotional impact of the conversation.
Nicole was engulfed in a wave of her own emotion. Connie had been more of a mother to her than her own ever had. “I love her too.”
“I know you do. Thank you for coming.”
The tensions of the previous night seemed almost forgotten, but Nicole knew it had to be addressed. And maybe this wasn’t the right place, but it felt like the right time. It had to be the right time because the urge to fix this, to make everything right, was so powerful it was beyond her control.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you after Richard left.”
Milly was still looking at her mother. “You were put in a horrible situation. I’m sorry I didn’t immediately see that. I wish you’d told me at the time.”
This time Nicole was determined not to duck any of the issues. “Because then you and Richard might still be together.”
“No.” Milly turned her head to look at her. “Because then you wouldn’t have had to carry the weight of what you heard on your own. We could have figured it out together, the way we always used to figure things out together. But I can see why you were afraid to tell me.”
Nicole glanced quickly at Connie, wondering if they were disturbing her, but she was still asleep.
“I felt as if it was my fault. That he’d left because I’d given him that ultimatum. I wanted to be there for you because you were at your lowest point, but after what I’d said to him I felt like a hypocrite.”
“That wasn’t my lowest point,” Milly said. “My lowest point was when I realized that as well as losing my husband, I’d lost my best friend.”
Nicole kept hold of her hand. “You didn’t lose me, but I didn’t know how to make things right. And then my life blew up, and I had no one else to turn to. And the fact that you met me at the station that night and brought me back to the boathouse and gave me a safe place to stay confirmed what I’d always known. That you are a one-in-a-million friend.”
The room was silent, but in the distance they heard the shriek of an ambulance siren. Nicole wondered who was in the ambulance. Someone’s loved one. Someone’s friend. Someone else whose life had probably changed in an instant.
“I wasn’t a one-in-a-million friend,” Milly said softly. “Yes, I picked you up, but I was determined to keep some distance. I was cold toward you.”
“I assumed you didn’t need me anymore. That you’d coped fine without me.”
“I wasn’t fine. And I did need you, but I was hurt and trying to protect myself. You’d shown that you didn’t need me, so I was determined not to need you either. And the more distant I was, the more afraid you were of telling me the truth. I made everything harder, and I’m sorry.”
The apology was unexpected.
“I should have told you the truth the night I arrived here, but I couldn’t bear the thought of what that might do to us. I messed up.”
“So did I. What you needed when I picked you up that night was a great big hug, and I didn’t give you one.” Milly sighed. “Friendship can be hard, can’t it? I never knew that when we were young. It all seemed straightforward.”
“Yes.”
“Can we just forget it and move on?”
Nicole felt a surge of overwhelming relief. “Yes. I really want that.” She felt Milly’s hand tighten on hers.
“This is going to sound weird, but I’m almost glad your life blew up or maybe we wouldn’t be here together now.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way.”
“Thank you for coming to the hospital. That means a lot.”
Before Nicole could answer, the door opened, and Joel appeared carrying two cups of coffee.
“Look who I found loitering in the waiting room.” He propped the door open with his foot and Nanna Peg walked in with Zoe by her side.
Milly stood up and gave Zoe a hug. “You should be getting ready for school!”
“There’s no way I’m going to school while Gramma is in hospital.” Zoe clung to her mother. “Is she going to be okay?”
“The doctors say she’s going to be fine.”
“Can I stay?” Zoe pulled away. “I want to be here with you.”
Milly nodded. “Yes. I’ll call the school and explain.”
Milly’s attention was fixed on Zoe, and it was Nicole who noticed the look on Nanna Peg’s face.
She moved her chair next to the bed. “Sit down, Nanna Peg.”
Nanna Peg sank onto the chair gratefully just as Connie opened her eyes.
“Mum?”
“I’m here.” Nanna Peg’s voice was shaky. “What do you think you’re doing, scaring us all?”
“I fell off a horse.”
“I know. And who is this Brian chap that Milly mentioned? If you wanted to go on a date, why couldn’t you just go to the movies like a normal person? Why horse riding?”
Connie managed a smile. “You know I don’t go on dates. I like horses, and I like being outdoors. And Brian is just a friend.”
“Whatever.” Nanna Peg took her hand. “I’m too old for this type of stress. If you want to spend time outdoors, you can join my hiking group. We’re in need of new members since Phyllis fell and broke her hip. And we might be losing Maureen soon.”
Connie eased herself into a more comfortable position. “What has happened to poor Maureen?”
“Nothing yet, but if she doesn’t stop boasting about her grandchildren she is going to have an accident. Nothing fatal,” Peg said darkly. “I was thinking maybe a twisted ankle. Enough to give us all a break.”
Nicole smothered a smile. It was a relief to see Nanna Peg returning to her feisty self. “Your hiking group sounds exciting, Nanna Peg. I might join you.”
Nanna Peg clutched Connie’s hand. “We don’t have room for your type.”
“My type?” Nicole raised her eyebrows. “What exactly is my type?”
“Drama queen. You’ll be rushing back to Hollywood and leaving us in the lurch.”
Nicole sat down on the edge of the bed. “I won’t be rushing back to Hollywood. I’m not going back at all.”
There was a sudden silence in the room.
Connie spoke first. “You’re not?”
“No.” She thought about the lists she’d made when she was at Joel’s earlier. About how clear everything had seemed once she’d written it down. “I’m going to buy a traditional Lakeland stone cottage with roses round the door.”
Nanna Peg scowled. “We don’t love second-home owners. They drive up house prices and ruin a community.”
“It won’t be my second home. It will be my only home. And I intend to be part of the community.” She turned her head briefly and met Joel’s gaze.
He was smiling, as if he wasn’t at all surprised by her announcement.
Connie, however, was definitely surprised. “But why? Did something happen, honey?” The kindness in her tone made Nicole wonder why it had taken her so long to realize that this was where she wanted to be.
This was where she felt most like her real self.
“Of course something happened.” Nanna Peg gave a sniff of disapproval. “She was dating that man whose eyes are too close together. I blame myself. I should have warned you never to trust a man whose eyes are close together.”
Nicole laughed. “A warning would have been useful. And to answer your question, Connie, yes, something happened. I’m pregnant.” She paused, self-conscious and unsure about how that announcement might be received. “I’m having a baby. And before you ask, no, the father doesn’t want anything to do with it, but honestly that’s fine because I think I’ll do better by myself. And I’m excited. Terrified, obviously, but also excited.”
“You won’t be by yourself.” Milly joined them at Connie’s bedside. “You’ll have me.”
“And me!” Zoe was beside herself with excitement. “I’m a brilliant babysitter.”
“You’ll have all of us,” Nanna Peg said, “and we’ll have you, which is good because it will give me something new to boast about. My friend the world-famous actress. Maybe I won’t trip Maureen up just yet. I might need the audience.”
“Talking of audiences,” Joel said, “I was thinking that maybe I should take you back to Forest Nest, Nicole, before the hospital gets too crowded and it’s impossible to smuggle you out.”
“That’s a good idea,” Milly said. “The doctor seemed confident that Mum will be discharged today, so I’ll keep you updated and see you back home later. Maybe you shouldn’t go back the way we came. The waiting room will be crowded by now.”
Joel nodded. “I found a back entrance that comes out near the mortuary. It’s very quiet.”
“Dead people are usually quiet.” Nanna Peg looked thoughtful. “We could smuggle you out, Nicole. You could lie on a trolley, and we could cover you with a sheet. I can sob and look bereft if you think that would add authenticity.”
Joel was laughing too much to speak, and even Connie was smiling.
“Thanks, but I’ll just walk out like a live person and take my chances,” Nicole said hastily.
“You can wear my hoodie.” Zoe handed it over to her. “Slouch and keep your head down. No one will notice you.”
Nicole took the sweatshirt and put it on. She was exhausted. The stress of the night before and the lack of sleep were catching up on her.
“I’ll see you later, Connie.” She leaned down and kissed Connie and then gave Milly a hug. “Call if you need me.”
“I will.”
She left the room with Joel and headed down the stairs he’d found. There was no one else around, their footsteps echoing in the empty stairwell.
At the bottom, he paused with his hand on the door that led outside. “Did you mean what you said? About staying?”
“Yes. I’m going to sell my house and look for something here.” She’d never been more sure of anything in her life. “Thank you for yesterday, and for last night. For listening. For being a good friend.”
“You’re welcome. And I’m glad you managed to sort everything out with Milly.” His hand was still on the door, but he didn’t open it. “So does that mean you’ll be available for more hikes?”
She looked into his eyes and felt something she’d never expected to feel. “Yes, but naturally I’m going to join Nanna Peg’s group. I feel I have to be there to protect Maureen.”
“Understood.” He smiled and opened the door. “Keep your head down, Wendy, or I’ll have to sling you over my shoulder and pretend you’re a corpse.”