29. Milly
Chapter 29 Milly
Are you sure I can’t kill him? Not just for what he did to you, but also for what he did to Nicole. There are foxgloves over there in that pretty border. I could grind them down and drop them into his wine. How much would you need, I wonder?” Nanna Peg clutched her handbag as they stood together and watched as Richard walked toward them along the path. Avery was next to him, wearing a floor-length summer dress in a pale shade of blue. “She looks very plain and washed-out next to you, Milly. You look gorgeous.”
Milly decided that inviting the whole family might have been a mistake. Much as she adored Nanna Peg and appreciated her steadfast support, she was already seeing the potential for many embarrassing moments. And on top of that stress, she felt sick with nerves for Zoe. She’d worked so hard on the part, and Milly knew how disappointed she’d be if it didn’t go well.
Still, it was a comfort to know that Nicole was with her backstage, and Nicole would be far more use in this situation than Milly would have been.
She knew nothing about first-night nerves.
“The dress was a gift from Nicole.” Milly glanced down at herself, wondering if she was slightly overdressed. “I wasn’t sure.”
“It’s stunning. Fuchsia pink is perfect with your coloring.” Nanna Peg narrowed her eyes. “You look a little like a foxglove yourself. Maybe it’s a metaphor. You could be the death of—”
“It’s not a metaphor,” Milly said quickly. “It’s just a dress.”
“I don’t know about foxgloves, but I hope Avery doesn’t drop the strawberries on that blue dress. Wearing something so pale to an outdoor performance in a garden might be a mistake,” Connie muttered, but Milly noticed something other than the dress.
She saw that Avery was gripping Richard’s hand and casting wary glances around her.
“She’s nervous. It must have taken a lot of courage to come,” Milly said, “and I’d like you both to be friendly. This is how our family looks now. Different. Maybe a little messy. But it’s still our family.”
Nanna Peg stuck her jaw out. “I’m not sure that—”
“You’re going to do it for my sake, Nanna Peg.” Milly leaned in and kissed her grandmother on the cheek. “And for the sake of your great-granddaughter. We are going to move on. We are all evolved people here.”
“Are we?” Nanna Peg blinked. “I suppose I can pretend to be evolved. As long as she doesn’t try and turn me into a vegetarian. I have limits.” She sniffed. “It will be easier to stomach now that you’re seeing that extremely hot young guy yourself.”
“Nanna Peg!” Milly felt her face turn pink. Why had she thought a family gathering would be a good idea? She must have been crazy.
“What? He has strong shoulders. I love a man with strong shoulders. It means he can—”
“Mum,” Connie intervened, “you’re embarrassing Milly.”
“What’s wrong with that? What is a grandmother for? Also the fact that she is embarrassed proves that I’m right. And now I want all the details.”
Milly wished she’d brought her grandmother to a different performance. “Please be quiet! He and Joel went to get wine. They’ll be back any moment.”
Right on cue, Brendan appeared carrying glasses of wine for Connie and Nanna Peg. “Joel and Brian are right behind me with more drinks.”
“Thank you.” Nanna Peg beamed up at him. “Can I ask you something, Brendan?”
Milly almost groaned.
Say no, she thought, but Brendan smiled.
“Ask me anything.”
“If you had to murder someone using only what is available in these gardens, what would you do? I was thinking foxglove.”
To give him credit, Brendan didn’t flinch. He glanced around him, his gaze lingering on the flower-filled borders and the stream that wound its way along the end of the garden.
“Foxglove would probably work,” he said and turned back to Nanna Peg, “but if I wanted to use a plant and be absolutely sure of the end result, I’d choose hemlock— Conium maculatum . It’s deadly. The highest alkaloid concentration is in the seeds, but every part of the plant is toxic.”
Nanna Peg listened to him with rapt attention. “Goodness, what an interesting and knowledgeable young man you are. I could talk to you for hours. I don’t suppose you and Milly would like to join an old lady for dinner one night, would you? Now that my roof is fixed, I’m entertaining again.”
“I don’t know.” Brendan’s eyes were bright with laughter. “Will you be cooking, Peg?”
Nanna Peg laughed so hard that Milly started smiling too.
They were still laughing when Richard and Avery reached them, and the wave of good humor seemed to dilute the potentially awkward moment.
Milly greeted them warmly, and Richard was so starstruck to see Brendan Scott again that he could barely stammer out a sentence.
And she had to admit that the whole encounter was so much easier with Brendan and Joel there and also Brian, her mother’s new “friend” (Milly still didn’t totally understand the nature of their friendship, but her mother seemed happy, and that was all that mattered).
They were a large and happy group, and she felt a slight sense of smug satisfaction when Brendan put a protective hand on her back, and Richard’s eyes almost popped out of his head.
Maybe she wasn’t as evolved as she liked to think.
Richard cleared his throat. “Where’s Nicole? I was hoping to have a word.”
“She’s backstage. She has been helping them all week,” Milly said. And also staying out of the way so that she didn’t draw attention to herself. The focus of tonight was the children. “I’m sure she’ll be around afterward if there was something you felt you wanted to say to her.”
She knew he wanted to apologize, and she wasn’t going to stop him. He and Nicole had been friends once, and even if they couldn’t reach that point again, she hoped they could at least find some sort of harmony.
“She’ll be with me,” Joel said calmly, “so we’ll come and find you.”
His message was clear. That Nicole wasn’t going to be on her own for any part of the evening. That there was a whole gang of people who loved her and had her back.
Fortunately, at that moment a bell rang to indicate that they should take their seats, and they all moved to the chairs that had been laid out in front of the stage.
“I never noticed it before,” Nanna Peg said as she settled next to Milly, “but Richard’s eyes are really close together. I don’t trust a man whose eyes are close together. And he certainly doesn’t have Brendan’s sex appeal.”
“Shh.” Milly sent a mortified glance at Brendan, who was seated the other side of her. “Sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He was laughing so hard he was almost crying. “Your grandmother is priceless. And she’s given me an idea for my next book.”
“Oh please, no, don’t tell her that. She’ll never stop going on about it.” She held her breath as the lights came on and everyone’s attention was directed to the stage.
The set was an enchanted forest, lit by what seemed like thousands of tiny lights.
And suddenly Milly was terrified. There was a huge number of people in the audience, far more than she’d anticipated.
“I hope this doesn’t go horribly wrong. It’s so important to Zoe.” She couldn’t remember ever feeling so nervous, and when Brendan reached for her hand, she didn’t pull away.
But she needn’t have worried because the play was wonderful, and not just because she’d known so many of the children (she still thought of them as children, even though they were teenagers now) for years. And Zoe was without doubt the star, acting the part that Milly had heard her and Nicole rehearsing over and over again.
Brendan tightened his grip on her hand and leaned closer to her. “She has talent,” he whispered. “Maybe she’s a star in the making.”
Milly thought about Nicole and the positives and negatives of her career and wasn’t sure she wanted that for Zoe, but she wasn’t going to worry about that now. If there was one thing that the last couple of years had taught her, it was that it was best to focus on today if you could, because no one really knew what the future was going to bring. Chance played such a big role in what happened in life.
So for now she watched her daughter and enjoyed the moment, and she felt pride and love and gratitude, and she realized that being a parent, despite all the worry and sense of responsibility that came with it, was the best thing in the world, and even on the very worst day she wouldn’t change it for anything.
It was the perfect way to spend a moonlit summer evening, and afterward the cast joined them in the gardens, and Milly hugged Zoe so tightly she protested that her ribs were going to crack.
“You were brilliant. I was so proud.”
“Did you see the part where I fell over the tree stump? Agh!” But Zoe was clearly on a high with it all, dizzy with the rush of adrenaline that came after a performance. She was still wearing the floaty dress she’d worn on stage and had flowers in her hair. “Nicole was amazing. Everyone agrees having her there made such a difference.”
Nicole joined them at that moment. She’d dressed discreetly in the hope of not attracting attention, but of course it would have been impossible for Nicole Raven not to attract attention. There had been a ripple of excitement through the whole audience as word had spread that they were in the presence of Hollywood royalty, and every now and then one of Zoe’s friends would drag an embarrassed adult over to them with a Can I just introduce you to my mum and dad? and Nicole would smile and be gracious as she shook hands and signed whatever was thrust in her direction.
Joel didn’t leave her side once, standing like a sentry, his eyes on the crowd.
“Nicole is going to help with our drama group.” Zoe’s eyes were shining. “Isn’t that amazing? She’s going to talk to the staff about doing some special sessions.”
“That’s great.” Milly looked around and searched the crowd. “Where’s Cally? Is everything all right between the two of you now? Did you manage to have that talk?”
“Yes, thanks to Nicole.” Zoe gave Nicole a grateful look. “She spoke to the whole cast about what it is really like making a career of being an actor. She said, ‘The parts you get will come and go, but if you’re lucky the friendships you make will last forever,’ and Cally got this weird look on her face, and then she asked if she could talk to me, and she said how ashamed she was and how she is never going to let anything come between us again.”
“That’s good to hear.” Milly was sure that at some point something would challenge their friendship because that was just life, but for now she was just relieved that everything was back to normal. She glanced at Nicole, intending to thank her, but Nicole was laughing at something Joel had said and didn’t even notice.
“Oh, there’s Dad! I should go and talk to him, and to Avery.” Zoe paused. “Is that okay?”
“Of course it is. This is a family event.” Milly watched her speed across the grass to her father and saw Avery hesitate and then hug Zoe and make what appeared to be a great big fuss of her.
And Milly realized that she no longer felt anxious or sick at the thought of sharing Zoe, and she decided that as long as Avery was kind to her daughter, then she was going to be grateful for that, and they would make this work.
“So here we are.” Nicole appeared by her side and slid her arm into Milly’s.
“Here we are.” Milly moved closer to her friend. “Thank you for everything you did for Zoe.”
“It was nothing. It was fun working with them. It reminded me how much I love acting. And I’m glad things are better with Richard.” Nicole raised her hand to gently fend off a bee that had taken a wrong turn on its hunt for pollen. “He apologized to me, by the way.”
“Good.”
“You seem much better about it all. Happier. I’m assuming that’s all the sex with Brendan.”
Milly half gasped and half laughed. “Could you speak a little louder? I think only the north of England heard you. You’re worse than Nanna Peg.”
“I do hope so. It’s a definite life goal of mine.” Nicole’s gaze rested on Nanna Peg, who was deep in conversation with Brendan once again, and then on Connie. “Who is that guy with your mother? The tall one with dark hair.”
“That,” Milly said, “is Brian.”
“That’s Brian?” Nicole tilted her head to one side. “He actually is hot, for an older guy. Do you think they—”
“I have no idea, and I’m not asking. She asked if she could bring him tonight, and I got him a ticket. That’s the end of my interference. Although, I did overhear them talking about a possible trip to Australia. Brian’s daughter is there.”
Nicole studied them for a moment. “Do you think they’re romantically involved?”
“I don’t think so. I think it really is friendship. And that’s what my mother wants.”
“I can understand that.” Nicole leaned her head against Milly’s shoulder. “Friendship is important. Possibly the most important thing of all, don’t you think?”
Milly felt her throat thicken. “I don’t know about that.” Her voice was husky. “I mean, sex is pretty important.”
“True.”
“And talking of sex, how is it going with Joel?”
“You’re getting ahead of yourself. My situation is a little bit complicated, if you remember. But I admit I like him.” Nicole sighed. “I like him so much. He’s brilliant in every way, which is why I’m taking it slowly. I thought I might rent a place nearby while I look for somewhere permanent, but he suggested I stay with him for now. Not make any quick decisions.”
Milly decided that Joel was possibly an even better person than she’d always thought. “That’s good. He’s your built-in security.”
“Yes. But it’s more than that. The scary thing is that he seems to really know me and understand me.”
“Why is that scary?”
“Because I haven’t been me for a long time. I’ve spent most of my life not being me.”
Milly was one of the few people who was able to understand the truth in that statement. “Then, this should be a refreshing change.”
They both watched as Joel brought Connie and Nanna Peg another drink.
“I like being with him. I’m terrified of messing it up,” Nicole said, “the way I have messed up every other relationship I’ve ever had.”
“You’re not going to mess it up.”
Nicole turned to look at her. “How can you be so sure?”
That was easy to answer. “Because this isn’t like any other relationship you’ve ever had.”
Nicole stared at her for a long moment and then smiled. “That’s true. It isn’t.”
They were both silent for a moment, watching the crowd, enjoying each other’s company.
And then Nicole tightened her hold on Milly. “If you could have three wishes—”
“That’s easy. I only need one.” Milly smiled as Zoe sprinted across the grass to Connie and Nanna Peg, the flowers that had been carefully wound into her hair now trailing down by her shoulders. “I would wish that for five minutes life could stay as it is right now. No changes. No challenges. Nothing traumatic to deal with.”
“That would be good.” Nicole pulled her closer. “But when things do change, because they will, at least we’ll have each other.”
And Milly knew that was true.
Through the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the challenges, arguments, hugs, laughter, gossip, support—through the whole bumpy journey of friendship, they’d be there for each other.
“I’m glad you’re staying.” Although she knew now that their friendship would survive no matter what, she was honest enough with herself to admit that she would have missed Nicole if she’d left. “You haven’t changed your mind?”
“Why would I change my mind? At Joel’s suggestion, I made a list of everything I’d like to have in my life. And it turns out that all of it is right here. Including you.”
Milly’s heart felt full. “That’s interesting, because if I were to make a list of everything I’d like to have in my life, all of it would also be right here. Including you.”
Nicole pressed closer, and Milly stood with her friend and watched her family together, then met Brendan’s gaze across the crowded gardens and marveled at how life could seem so hard and impossible one minute, and yet so exciting and full of possibilities the next.
Change could be difficult, particularly when it was forced on you, but it could also be positive.
You had to keep going, she thought. No matter how tough things were. You had to keep going because you never knew what might be around the next corner, and you had to believe it might be something good.
“About you staying—”
“Mm?”
“Are you going to give up being a drama queen?”
Nicole laughed. “Never. That’s one thing that is never going to change. You can be sure of that.”
* * * * *
Want to read more from Sarah Morgan? Keep turning the pages for an exclusive sneak peek at her upcoming new Christmas book . . .