Chapter 31
Monday, May 15, 2017
I left the women’s restroom of Kostas yet again, my frequent trips to take a piss outdoing itself with each passing week. Numerous times, I considered temporarily living in our bathroom. Five more weeks. I felt blessed to be pregnant, but I just had to get through five more weeks. Might as well have been an entire fucking eternity.
I glanced out the window on my way back to our booth, wanting to one day enjoy a meal at a table outside. Kostas had a few four-seater tables in front of their restaurant. Sitting in one of those chairs now would’ve made my body ache. I dealt with enough aches and pains as it was.
A little girl at a table with her family waved and said hello as I walked by. She couldn’t have been older than four or five. I returned a small wave and gave her a smile, nodding in acknowledgement to her mother. I looked forward to family outings with my son. I wanted him to see the world. I wanted him to have opportunities I only dreamed of.
Vincenzo kicked, stealing my attention. I placed my palm over that spot on my belly, smiling to myself.
Anthony’s laughter reached my ears. He, Dominic, Angelo, and the man of the hour, Dino, conversed over their meals, laughing and stuffing their faces without a care in the world. Katrina took a bite out of another zucchini fritter off her plate—the actual name of her dish was a tongue twister—while Dominic, sitting next to her, gave me a slow once-over, trailing his eyes up and down, his lip curving just enough to clue me in to the dirty thoughts milling in his mind.
He never tired of my body. Even in my current state. It made me feel good. Wanted and secure.
Helping me into my place at the curved booth, Dominic made sure I was good and comfortable, resting a protective arm along the top of the seat behind me. He took a bite of his serving of a dish called Pastitsio , tuning again into the chatter. To anyone, Pastitsio looked like traditional lasagna, but instead of lasagna noodles, the dish used tubular noodles. Ground lamb replaced ground beef, and the menu listed additional layers of béchamel sauce and tomato sauce that had hints of cinnamon and nutmeg. The melted, stretchy cheese on top made it perfect.
Mouth full with the first bite of his second gyro, Dino flipped off Anthony—in that special, brotherly way, of course. I chuckled, clueless on what happened as I gathered more of my Greek salad onto my fork, dipping it in the cup of tzatziki sauce I requested on the side.
Vincenzo also enjoyed my dinner, squirming and kicking in the particular way he did whenever I ate something he agreed with.
Dominic angled closer to me, dipping his head to speak in my ear.
“Just say the word, and we can go home.”
Subtly shaking my head, I whispered, “Absolutely not.”
Today was Dino Santiago’s twenty-ninth birthday. He chose this place to celebrate. Like hell was I going to allow my minimal discomfort to spoil the evening. A massage, my body pillow, and if necessary, a warm bath before bed would do the trick.
Dominic kissed my ear. “Okay.” He pulled away, resuming his meal. I put my hand on his thigh, considering myself the luckiest woman in the world for having him as my protector.
Selected crew stood guard outside the restaurant—Dominic’s orders. We sat at the booth down at the other end of the establishment. No windows, only walls. He had a clear enough view to be able to spot anything out of the ordinary, including unwanted guests. With the other mole walking free, chances couldn’t be taken.
Our waiter approached the table.
“Is there anything else I could get for any of you? Refills?”
When I looked up and over at Dominic, he was shaking his head.
“I want more of these,” Katrina said, showing the waiter—who could’ve passed for fresh out of high school—her last zucchini fritter.
“Manners,” Dominic reminded her.
With a toothy smile, she asked, “Please?”
I smiled, amused. Dominic let out a small chuckle, shaking his head.
“Certainly,” the waiter said, then turned on his heel to fill her order.
“Lulu, can I have some?” She eyed my salad. When she passed me her plate, I added enough salad to her plate for a few bites, handing it back as she thanked me. She poured what was left of her ranch dipping sauce on it, chowing down.
“We gotta hit this place again,” Dino said to none of us in particular. He began helping himself to another portion of his gyro “Fucking good food.” He chewed in bliss.
He wasn’t wrong. The food was delicious. The staff was friendly. I once again took a moment to admire the Mediterranean-style furnishings that paired beautifully with the modern color palette of blues, soft creams, and brown wood tones. Patterned tile made up the floor. Artwork hanging on the walls paired with the tourist attraction decor brought it all together.
The waiter returned and gave Katrina a fresh plate of fritters, leaving immediately after. She waved her hand like she was trying to cool it off, blowing on it before Anthony took the plate and began cutting the fritters in half, telling her it would help them cool faster. She drank more of her soda, picking back up on coloring an activity sheet the waiter gave her with our menus.
“Too bad you can’t just up and move this place to Saddle River,” I jokingly suggested.
“They should build one in that plaza at the mall,” Dino added. “Would be a smart investment.”
“Yeah, talk about a missed opportunity,” I agreed, stealing a bite of Pastitsio from Dominic’s plate. I playfully smirked when he amusingly lifted his brow.
“Dip your hand in the cookie jar,” Angelo spoke up. “Then, you can make that happen.” He looked over at Dominic, anticipating his answer.
Staring off past his brothers, Dominic silently mulled over the idea. After a handful of beats, he said, “I could…”
“What about any of the other families?” I wondered aloud.
“Kostas is still within our territory. Stefano and Alessandro have no say.”
“Why can’t you share, Uncle Dominic?”
All our eyes landed on our niece.
“It doesn’t work that way,” Dominic answered her.
“Why?”
He cut another corner off his Pastitsio with his fork. “It just doesn’t.”
She huffed, picking up a half of one of her fritters. “Sharing is caring, you know.”
Dino burst out laughing, the rest of us unable to stifle our own. Dominic shook his head again, lips parted as he amusingly smiled.
This was the epitome of happiness. Love. Celebration. Good food and la mia famiglia .
Toward the end of our meals, my anxiety crept in for a quick second as wait-staff started singing “Happy Birthday” and making their way to our booth. I instantly relaxed, smiling as Dino pretended to act bashful, stifling a laugh. They put one of their small, one-layer cakes in front of him, a single-lit candle in the middle. The chocolate frosting made me nearly drool. Four staff members stood side by side diagonally to us as they wrapped up the song, speaking the last lyric in Greek.
“ Chrónia mou pollá .”
They made sure we were all set and then dispersed.
I looked over at Dominic, a sneaking suspicion that he was behind that. The reverence of his expression and in his eyes as he watched his brother thank us was my confirmation.
“Make a wish!” Katrina exclaimed. She laughed when he pretended to shake off his faux nervousness.
In the seconds I watched Dino stare at the candle, a certain kind of emotion flashed across his features. It wasn’t quite sadness, but a man who maybe wanted time to slow down.
What he wanted could never be wished for. Time travel wasn’t real.
He blinked, effectively pulling himself out of his head, and playfully blew out the candle. We did a mix of clapping and cheering, wishing him more happy birthdays.
If I had a magic wand, I would’ve granted him every wish he desired. Taken away every tear he shed in secret. I would’ve pieced together his fragmented heart and sucked the darkness that had a hold on his soul because such silent pain shouldn’t afflict any man, much less Dino.
Jessica Santiago would still be alive if I had that magic fucking wand.
* * *
“Lulu, sit with me!”
Katrina grew more attached to me as the weeks passed but only felt comfortable calling me her mom when it was just the two of us. Was she scared any of her uncles would object? Was it even fear at all? I made it a point to discuss it with her when I deemed it appropriate. And when I figured out how to approach it.
She bounded up into the Escalade, waving at me and Dino from the back seat. Angelo must’ve said the right thing because she nodded and decided to wait patiently as he finished buckling her in. Anthony hopped in the left seat of the last row, Angelo sitting in the middle row on the right. Dominic walked around the front of his vehicle, our bag of leftovers in hand.
The chocolate cake was devoured. No crumbs.
Our security got in their vehicles, headlights shining as the engines purred to life.
“I’m glad I picked this place,” Dino said. “That’s one of the good things about Jersey—fantastic food on every fucking corner.”
With my arm around his back and his hand on the small of mine, Mr. Santiago and I casually walked to the SUV. It was a beautiful night. Low 60s. Clear skies. I wanted to be sure he was okay after what happened when he made his birthday wish. He was never one to easily bring anyone into his truth, no matter how well he trusted them.
“Vincenzo liked it; I know that.”
“Then, it’s settled; we either up and move this place closer to us, or we make a location in Saddle River happen.”
Smiling to myself, I wondered, “Can you actually do that?”
“Put one in town? Yeah, just gotta write a big enough check.”
“Or take over as owner of the company as Angelo suggested.”
Dominic started the engine of the Escalade, patiently watching his brother and me. Before we left Kostas, I told him I wanted to catch up with Dino. Check on him.
“Dino?”
“Yo.”
Cracking an amused smile, I finally asked him, “Are you okay?”
“‘Course I am.”
Nope. He did his best to sound convincing, but I heard it—his mask.
“Eh, maybe try that again?”
Dino slowed his steps. “What are you getting at, Lil?”
He stopped walking immediately after I did, slipping his hands in the pockets of his jeans, creasing his brows. It was clear he was desperately scrambling to figure out my angle. With my hands on my lower back for support, I leaned a little more into my right leg, now standing diagonal to him.
“I saw it, Dino.”
His brows furrowed more. “Saw what?”
“You taking off the mask for that split second.”
“Lil—”
“When Katrina asked you to make a wish.”
Relaxing his features, Dino looked toward the ground, lazily kicking it and scraping the toe of his sneakers against the pavement. He lifted his head first, and then, his eyes lined up with mine.
“What about it?” he snapped.
I knew he didn’t intend for those words to have any bite, but it still threw me momentarily off, like a quick, sudden slap. I shifted support to my left leg, clearing my throat a little.
“You don’t have to suffer in silence. That’s all I wanted to tell you.” A ghost of a smile possessed his lips. I held out my hand for him to hold. “Let’s go home.”