A Shared Heart (Help From Beyond #1)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Avery Langhorn

“Devin, can I speak to you... in private?” My voice quivered as I tried so hard to hold steady, hoping not to make a fool of myself. Rage coursed through me.

I couldn’t believe I’d walked into our neighborhood bar with Kyle and Brooke, my best friends and roommates, to see my boyfriend—who I had an exclusive relationship with—rubbing on a woman with long brown hair.

He followed me outside, and we stood under a streetlight in the freezing ass cold and snow flurries, me feeling as though someone had ripped out my transplanted heart. Devin’s guilty sneer told me I wasn’t going to like what I heard.

“Dude, she’s just a friend-with-bennies.

We work at the gym together. Rhonda, remember?

You’ve even seen her there. We go out with a group of friends we have in common, and then I go home with her and we spend the night together.

You knew I was bi when we met.” Devin said it so nonchalantly, I felt guilty for questioning him—even for an instant.

“Dude, you can do so much better than this asshole.”

It was that voice in my head that didn’t sound like mine. It almost sounded like Brooke’s, but the tone and speaking pattern was off. It had been in my head since I woke up from having a heart transplant seven years ago.

Devin was a personal trainer at the gym where I exercised, and I’d hired him to train me three years ago at the suggestion of my cardiologist, Dr. Timothy Latham, who was Devin’s uncle.

I’d gained some weight due to the anti-rejection meds I was taking, and the doc said it wasn’t good for my new heart.

Besides taking off the extra weight, I wanted to gain more muscle tone and switch up my routine so I’d stick with it to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It was my second chance in life, and I didn’t want to waste it.

I’d been diagnosed at fourteen with cardiomyopathy when I started playing soccer on my school’s team. At the first practice, the chest pains and shortness of breath led me down a healthcare spiral that would scare my mom and dad for the rest of their lives.

Devin stared at me before he spoke. “We have been exclusively dating for five months at your insistence. How long have you been sleeping with her, and is there any reason I shouldn’t run to the doctor to get a full panel of STI tests?”

My heart was pounding, spiked with adrenaline at the consequences of catching an STI from the fucker.

“Avery, dear, I told you this guy was a lying cheater when you first laid eyes on him, and I was right, just like I’ve been right the last three times you met a loser.

Devin’s trying to guilt you into believing it’s not cheating because you knew he was bi.

Honey, that’s ridiculous. Cheating is cheating.

” There it was again, that stupid voice.

“Shut up,” I snapped as I balled my fists in frustration.

“Avery, I didn’t say anything, babe. Are you okay? Let me get my jacket, and I’ll take you home. You probably shouldn’t be out in this cold and damp weather anyway. I’ll tell Rhonda goodbye and be right back.” He hurried off.

I was about to crack my teeth from clenching my jaw to keep from screaming and having the police called to haul me away.

Kyle and Brooke came out a few minutes later. I was freezing my balls off, not sure what to do. “

Let’s go somewhere else. Fuck him, Aves.” Brooke brought out my coat, pushing it at me to put on. I’d been so upset I hadn’t stopped for it.

“Who was the chick? She was smokin’ hot.” Kyle wasn’t the brightest bulb in the lamp, but he had a big heart. He was usually a good friend.

“Her name is Rhonda and they work together. They’re friends with bennies, according to him.”

“And I told you he was a cheating bitch, but you didn’t listen.” The voice...again.

“You already said that. Shut up, dammit.” I couldn’t help myself. I must be going mad.

“Kyle, that was a heartless thing to say. You don’t hit on the girl who is cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend, doofus.” Thankfully, Brooke had a better grasp on the situation than I did.

I grabbed my coat and slid my arms into the sleeves. “I’m going home. You guys can go back inside. I’ll see you later.” I buttoned my coat and slid on gloves, angrily stomping my way back to our apartment.

“What the fuck is wrong with me? I knew there was something shady about him—”

“Told you so.” And again with the voice.

“God, shut up. How the fuck do I turn off my own internal dialogue? Am I having a breakdown? A stroke?"

A harsh cackling invaded my mind. Brooke never laughed like that.

“What’s going on?” I said it out loud, and the two guys walking toward me grinned and nodded as though I’d greeted them.

“Honey, you’re fine. Go home and take a hot shower so you can thaw out. Things will be fine, but you need to get a new gym. I told you that a week after you met that douche.”

“Who are you?” Again... talking to myself... out loud.

“Happy. I’m happy and you should be too because you found out about his duplicitous ways before you fell harder for him. We’ll get through this, you and me, and we’ll find you a great guy, I swear.”

The voice sounded one hundred percent sure of themselves.

Instead of dragging my sorry ass to bed after my shower, I put on flannel pajamas and went into the kitchen to make a cup of cocoa. I barely remembered sitting down to watch a Christmas movie before I sunk into a deep sleep.

Pounding on the front door woke me from my spot on the couch.

I glanced around the room to see I hadn’t finished the cocoa, and I’d passed out on the couch. Brooke’s Christmas blanket that her grandmother made her when she went off to college was draped over me. The television was off.

“Come on, dude, let me in so we can talk about this. We were celebrating Marco’s birthday, and Rhonda said it was rude for me to just walk out. I didn’t sleep with her, okay? Don’t be a petty bitch.”

Lovely. Devin was outside my door making me the bad guy once again. How damn stupid had I been to give the fucker the time of day?

“Hey, asshole, shut the fuck up and get out of here. I’ve already called the police. You’re drunk, and you’re getting on my nerves. Go now or I’m getting my stun gun!”

One of my neighbors was yelling in the hallway. The voice sounded like the voice in my head, so I hurried across the room to open the door. By the time I got there, all I saw was an empty hallway. I stepped out the door and found the floor was wet, which was odd since nobody was there.

“It was a dream. Go inside and go to bed. Things will be better in the morning.”

There was that voice again. It sounded an awfully lot like the one I’d heard shouting in the hallway a few minutes earlier.

I had to chalk it up to a dream—a realistic fucking dream—but a dream.

Later that morning, I woke up when I heard Kyle talking to Brooke.

“Hurry up or we’re going to be late, sweetheart.

” They were pitching a new advertising campaign for the spring to a restaurant near Orioles ballpark.

We’d been working on it for a month, and we were holding our breath about their acceptance.

My part—the artwork—was done. It was up to them to sell it.

I got up from my bed and went out to the kitchen for coffee, seeing Brooke making their coffees and pouring them into thermal mugs with lids.

“Ah, sleeping beauty awakens. We assumed you were staying home today. Do you want me to tell Kyle to cool his jets and wait for you?” God love Brooke, she was like the big sister I never had.

“Naw. I’ll get there later.” I poured myself a cup of coffee as she finished up.

I remembered the previous night and how realistic that dream had seemed. “Hey, did you hear someone pounding on the door last night?”

She giggled. “No, but I’m surprised you’re not complaining about Kyle and me. We got a little loud last night.”

That made sense. Those two were loud when they got down, not just last night, but all the fucking time. That was probably why I fell asleep on the couch. Alcohol and dancing led to Kyle and Brooke banging like a screen door on a windy day.

But that comment reminded me of my third-wheel status and the guy I was banging—or used to bang. Knowing what I did about Devin and his activities behind my back made me sure of one thing. I couldn’t get sucked into a loser’s orbit again.

The barbell resting on my shoulders was heavy as I did squats, watching my form in the wall-to-wall mirror at my new gym, which was in the opposite direction from my old gym. Devin and his lies were a lesson learned, and I was swearing off men for a while.

Much like Dry January, where people who partied too much over the holiday season stopped drinking, I took myself off all the apps and vowed to ignore hot guys when they crossed my path.

It was a necessary detox from the string of shitty boyfriends I’d had since I came out at fifteen.

I was only twenty-four, so there was plenty of time to meet my Mister Right. Patience, many said, was a virtue.

A large man stepped behind me and smiled at my reflection in the mirror. “You need a spotter, beautiful?”

He wasn’t wrong—I had too much weight on the bar—but I damn well wouldn’t get sucked into another sweet-talking mistake just a week after I’d gotten out of one with Devin.

I stood and put the bar on the pegs before stepping back and shaking out my legs. “That was my last rep, but thanks. I’m fine.”

The guy stuck out his hand and gave me a big smile. “I’m Tyler, one of the trainers here. You’re new, right? I’d never forget a face or an ass like that.”

“God, steroids really do shrink their brains, which I think he keeps in his nuts. Don’t let his shitty pick-up lines sway you from your mission. There’s a better guy for you out there, Avery.” The voice.

I shook the guy’s hand and smiled. “I’m Avery, and if this is you trying to pick me up, thanks for the compliments, but I’m seeing someone.”

“Good response. I’m proud of you.”

Did I just think I was proud of myself? I rolled my eyes and went to the locker room to shower and change so I could meet Kyle and Brooke at Fresh Catch, a seafood restaurant where we all used to work when we were in college.

When I walked out of the gym, I started to cross the street to catch the bus going in the right direction. I glanced both ways and stepped off the curb.

“Step back onto the sidewalk and go down to the crosswalk. You’re gonna get yourself smashed on the street, and then what?”

I stopped in the street and glanced both ways in time to see a firetruck speeding out of the station at the top of the hill. I ran to the sidewalk as it whizzed by, lights flashing and sirens blaring while horns were honking.

“Told ya.”

I bent over at the waist and propped my hands on my thighs as I fought to catch a breath. That voice in my head was right. I’d faced death once and was pulled back from the brink.

If I went through all of that only to get run over by a firetruck, then what? How much would my donor have sacrificed for nothing?