Chapter Twelve
Avery
I sounded like a babbling idiot. The look on Holden’s face said as much, especially since I was standing there with my shirt hiked up to show him my scar. It was a crazy impulse that I couldn’t control. His lack of a comment meant he didn’t notice
I quickly dropped my shirt and swallowed. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to ramble. I think if you could talk your parents into reaching out to the recipients of Happy’s organs, they might get some closure when they see how many people were helped through your sister’s selflessness.”
Holden stared at me. “How do you know my sister’s nickname was Happy.” He seemed a little pissed about it.
“Abort. Abort. Use my real name. Feign ignorance. Say it was a mistake that you called me Happy.”
I glanced around the room and didn’t see her, but I heard her in my mind. “I, uh, I mean Holly. Your sister’s name was Holly, right?”
Holden didn’t look convinced at all that my actions were innocent. I was blowing the whole thing.
“Gimme something else! Now!” I growled at Happy…or the voice in my head.
“When I was fifteen, Holden caught me smoking behind the machine shed at our grandparents’ farm and promised to make me eat a cigarette if I ever did it again. He never told Mom or Dad.”
“When Holly was fifteen, you caught her smoking behind the—” I glanced to my left to see Happy standing in a corner of the bar, her foot tapping impatiently in black stilettoes with a silver spiked ankle strap.
“Behind the shed at our grandparents’ farm, dumbass. He promised to make me eat a cigarette if I ever did it again. He didn’t tell Mom and Dad.” She appeared to be ready to wring my neck.
“Behind the machine shed at your grandparents’ farm. You told her you would make her eat a cigarette if you ever caught her smoking again. You didn’t tell your parents.”
Holden stood, nearly upending the table before he grabbed my arms to hold me still. “Why are you saying this? How could you know anything about my sister?”
I glanced around to see we had an audience, so I wiggled free of his grasp. “Let’s get out of here.” I motioned toward the spectators, and once Holden saw them, he tossed money on the table and grabbed my forearm to haul me out of the place.
Once we were outside, the man dragged me to his truck. “Get in.”
I wanted to tell him to go to hell, but his expression was one of pain, so I couldn’t. He was pissed that I knew things about his sister that he couldn’t explain, and he needed answers. I wasn’t sure if I could provide them or what I would say, but I owed him something.
Instead of arguing with him and running like my life depended on it—which it might, based on his expression—I got into the truck. In my heart, I knew for a fact that Holden Rose wouldn’t hurt me though my confidence might have been completely misplaced since I didn’t really know the man.
I took a deep breath. “Holly loved you, Holden. She still does. She wants your family to be happy and move on from her death. She knows how much you’ve missed her, and she knows your parents miss her to the point they’re not actually living in the present anymore. She wants you all to heal.”
Holden stoically drove us to a small brick house in the opposite direction of my apartment. He pulled into the driveway and up to a garage. He turned off the ignition, not having said anything during the whole ride there.
“Is… Is this where you live?” My voice was so soft that I wasn’t sure if Holden heard me. I’d seen this scenario in far too many horror movies and it made me squirmy when it was make-believe. Now that it was a possibility, I nearly crapped my pants.
The gorgeous man turned to me and sighed. “Will you please come inside? We need to talk.” I hadn’t heard of a serial killer who said please.
I wasn’t a religious man, but I prayed I wasn’t taking my life into my own hands. “Okay.”
We exited the truck, and I followed Holden through the garage and into his house. I took off my shoes after he removed his and left them in the mud room.
I followed him into his kitchen, hoping and praying there was a way to convince him to believe me. I glanced around to see Happy sitting on the counter by the fridge. She winked at me but didn’t offer any advice.
Holden reached into a cabinet and retrieved two glasses. He went to the freezer to pull a bottle of vodka before walking to the table.
“Start over.” He put the glasses on the table and poured a bit of vodka into each, sliding one to me.
“Try to make sense this time, will you?” Happy buffed her nails on the flowered skirt she was wearing and then blew on them.
I rolled my eyes as she crossed her legs, having changed her shoes to bright red patent leather boots. It never occurred to me that spirits would have a full wardrobe with them. She extended her laced glove hand toward her brother and nodded.
“Okay. Let’s start like this. I believe your family would benefit by reaching out to Holly’s recipients.
Maybe your parents have doubts that they did the right thing by allowing your sister’s organs to be donated to folks in need, and if they are, maybe speaking to the recipients would help them see that it wasn’t a mistake. ”
“There’s my smart guy. Great job.” She winked.
Thanks for nothing, Happy.
I slugged down the clear liquor in my glass, shivering as it slid down my gullet. The taste was insignificant, but the vodka burn took my breath.
Holden’s gaze never left mine. “Are you a…what? A medium? A clairvoyant? A snake oil salesman? Are you here to suddenly save my family for the small price of—what?”
“No!” I protested his brash assessment, though what the hell did I expect him to think? I barged into his world and presumed to tell him how he should heal from his sister’s death? His whole family? Who the hell did I think I was?
“Okay, uh, I see your point, but as a casual observer, I still think it’s a good idea. I don’t mean to sound like a know-it-all, but I think if you give it some thought, you’ll see I have a valid point. Tell me about Holly.”
“How do you know her name was Holly? Why did you call her Happy?” He poured each of us another drink. At this rate, we were going to be shitfaced in no time.
I took a deep breath and glanced at Happy across the room. She stared at me and smiled.
“Holden seems so kind that you can only imagine his little sister would be happy.” She giggled after she said it.
I wanted to balk at her suggestion, but she wasn’t wrong. I could totally see the beauty that ran through their family, though I didn’t know them.
“When you knocked on the window of Brooke’s car after the accident, I could see how kind you were.
You stopped for someone you didn’t know and had never met, and you rescued me.
I can only imagine that same kindness runs through your whole family.
It’s nice to witness.” Maybe it sounded like bullshit, but I meant what I said.
Holden smiled as he stared at me. “Did you…no, you’re too young to have met Holly. How do you know of her?”
I sighed. “I just had a feeling that you were missing someone. You said her name that night when you stopped to help me after the truck incident.” Another lie.
“I did? I don’t remember that.” His brow wrinkled as he tried to remember, so I crossed my fingers in my lap that he’d let it go. I didn’t like to be untruthful with anyone, especially Holden Rose.
“You said my wreck was too close to how you lost Holly. I didn’t press you on it then because I was too shaken up.” Telling more lies wasn’t good, but I wanted to do right by Happy…by both of them.
“Wow. That’s uh… I guess I was shaken up, too. That’s exactly what it was. It was how we lost Happy. A semi going too fast on an icy road. She even had the same kind of car you were driving.
“I went to see it, and I tossed my lunch right there in the salvage yard. It was smashed like a pancake. It’s a wonder she was still alive when they cut her out of the damn thing.
She’d checked the box on her driver’s license to be an organ donor, so the doctors told my parents they needed to decide before the organs started shutting down because she was brain dead.
“I talked them into doing it. I talked my parents into unplugging Holly and letting the doctors harvest her organs. If Holly had gone to all the trouble of checking the box on her driver’s license, I figured that was what she wanted to happen in the worst-case scenario.
“I’m glad Mom doesn’t explicitly remind me that I was the one to talk them into it, but their little holiday gatherings remind me of it every year.
That’s why I can’t do it anymore. I need to forgive myself for telling them to pull the plug, but I can’t do it with them continuing to grieve as though her accident just happened. ”
Holden poured each of us another drink, but I didn’t pick up my glass. He shot his back and stared into space.
“Tell him you’d have done the same thing if it was someone you loved. Honoring their wishes is an act of love.” Holly’s advice sounded far wiser than anything I could come up with.
I didn’t hesitate to repeat her words. “I’d have done the same thing if I were you. They say honoring the wishes of someone is an act of love. You must have loved her very much to let her go.”
Holden refilled his glass and gave me a glossy-eyed grin.
“My little sister was unbelievable. She was fearless and spoke her mind, much to her own detriment most of the time. She didn’t flinch.
I used to send her money now and again. She didn’t always get the jobs she auditioned for, and I knew it was expensive living in New York.
Holly always said she was doing okay, but I knew she wouldn’t admit things weren’t going perfectly for fear that we’d demand she come home. ”
Happy giggled. “Please don’t tell them I was an exotic dancer. That’s something they don’t need to know.”
I subtly nodded. “Did you ever get to see her perform?”
Holden gave me a crooked smile. “Lots when she was taking dance classes as a kid and had recitals. One time, I went to New York with my business partner, Steve, to work on an asphalt paver with a broken track. We went to Manhattan for an overnight, and Holly got us tickets to see her in an awful, off-Broadway musical. She was in the chorus and she shined, but the rest of it was absolutely terrible.”
Holly giggled. “It was a re-imagined play about a singing vampire. It was awful and never made it past the first month, but I made good money while it lasted.”
“Did you tell her it was awful?”
He smiled as he looked into the distance. “Nope. In my eyes, she was always perfect, and she had such a big heart. She used to bring home stray dogs and cats all the time.”
Oscar, his dog, ambled into the kitchen and sniffed around. “Is that why you have Oscar?”
Holden reached down and picked up the sweet pooch, placing him on his lap. Oscar immediately turned and put his paws on Holden’s broad chest, trying to lick his face while his tail wagged speedily.
“I just got him a couple of years ago. I won’t lie and say Holly wasn’t on my mind when I went to the shelter.”
I smiled at the two of them. Holden was so sweet with the dog. It was easy to see Oscar loved him unconditionally.
That kind of love was hard to find. I had to hope I’d find it for myself someday.