Chapter Twenty-Two
Holden
As I walked out of the hospital room to get to the nurse’s station, Avery’s words echoed through my head. I love you, Holy.
I froze in my tracks. Holy?
I hadn’t heard that nickname in years. It was the one my sister gave me when she was little. How on earth did Avery know that name?
“Do you need something, Holden?”
I glanced up to see Avery’s nurse, Jack Barnes, with a kind expression. Jack was in his early sixties and worked the swing shift from noon until eight at the hospital.
He was a kind man who’d lost his husband a few months earlier. He would come into Avery’s room in the evenings while he was on shift, and he’d chat with me while I sat by Avery’s bedside.
“He’s awake, and he wants something to drink. I think you said he could have some ice chips. Where can I get those?” I wasn’t sure if I was making sense because my head was spinning.
“I’ll be right back.” Jack rushed through a door and returned a minute later with a cup of ice and a plastic spoon. “Let’s go see how your man is doing.”
I followed Jack as he bustled into Avery’s room. “Good morning, er, evening, sunshine.”
Jack walked over and lifted his reading glasses to perch on the end of his nose, the chain holding them around his neck dangling behind his ears. “Let’s see what’s going on, Avery, dear.” He logged onto the laptop mounted on the wall next to the hospital bed.
I reached for Avery’s hand while Jack reviewed the chart on the screen, making notes here and there. I leaned forward and kissed Avery’s hand, staring into his silver-gray eyes that I so loved to see.
Avery swallowed hard, reminding me that he’d asked for ice chips.
“Oh, sorry.” I reached for the Styrofoam cup on the rolling table over his hospital bed, taking a seat on the side of the mattress to feed Avery.
“Thank you.” Avery pressed the button to raise the top to a more upright position.
“You’re very welcome. How do you feel? Headache?” I gave him another spoon of ice chips.
“No. What caused it—the brain bleed?”
That caught me by surprise. “How’d you know you had a brain bleed? The doctor called it a subdural hematoma according to Brooke.” I gave him another spoonful of ice chips
“I’m not sure. I just knew it somehow. Did they say if there was any permanent damage?” His face wore concern.
“Not that they could detect while you were in a coma. I can call your parents and tell them you’re awake. They just left about an hour ago, so they’re probably back at their hotel. I can—”
Jack jumped in. “I’ll call the family before I call Dr. Latham. You stay here with our patient.”
In a flurry of activity, Jack checked the machines, recorded things on the laptop, and gave Avery a kiss on top of his head. “Welcome back, kiddo.” He then hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“What’s going on with my family? Are they being mean to you?” Avery took the cup of ice from me and put it on the rolling table before he took my hand, wrapping his two warm ones around it.
“I won’t say they were mean. Your dad’s really nice, and he texts me every day when they’re leaving to let me know I can come sit with you and not upset your mom.” I sure as hell didn’t want to rile him up by remarking on his mother’s obvious disdain for me.
“Why would you sitting with me upset Mom?” The heart monitor picked up a little speed, and I wanted to kick my own ass. He was supposed to remain stress free.
“Sweetheart, she loves you and was worried sick. She doesn’t know me, and I guess she doesn’t see a guy who shows up to see her son with dirt under his nails and mud on his boots because he changes tires for a living as someone good enough to date her son.
She’s not wrong, you know.” I was being honest. I wasn’t good enough for Avery, and I knew it.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it Holden. I need my cell phone. Where is it? I’m calling her.” Avery’s head scanned the room before he tried to get out of bed, abruptly stopping. The catheter in his penis seemed to be a surprise that wouldn’t make it easy for him to get too far from the bed.
“I gave your wallet and cell phone to your father. That’s how I found out about your heart transplant. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Avery slowly sat on the side of the bed, his cheeks pink and his eyes downcast. “I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me because I was sick when I was a teenager. Also, you didn’t believe me when I told you that I met your sister.”
“I... It...” Yeah, I was putting up a hell of a defense with my stammering as Avery stared at me.
“I didn’t want to tell you like this because there’s probably an eighty-percent chance you still won’t believe me or don’t want to hear me say I was the recipient of your sister’s heart.” Avery glanced over his shoulder, sticking his tongue out at me. I wanted to laugh, but I wouldn’t.
“And before you ask, I have no proof on paper that I’m the recipient of your sister’s heart, which is why I asked you to contact the transplant people and provide permission for information to be shared between the donor’s family and the recipient.
If you’d done that, you’d know that I asked for my information to be shared with your family. ”
I stood from the side of the bed and walked around the end to stand in front of him. “I didn’t... God, Avery, would never feel sorry for you. It’s too insane for me to comprehend that you got... I just thought it was some quirky thing that you believed in ghosts and you thought you met my sister.
“If we didn’t give permission for you to have Holly’s information, what makes you think you got Holly’s heart? She couldn’t have been the only person killed in an accident that night.”
“Happy told me.” He adjusted himself in the bed, and I pulled the sheet and blanket over his legs so he was comfortable.
I stepped out of the way to guard against somehow knocking against any of the equipment by the bed that could possibly do him harm. As I started to walk away, Avery grabbed my hand and put it over his heart on top of his hospital gown.
“I know you don’t believe me, but you can feel it beating in my chest, can’t you? Happy lives on inside of me.”
He lifted my hand and placed it on his chest over his hospital gown, and everything came back to me.
The scar on his chest that he showed me when we went to the Pirate’s Cove.
Him knowing my sister’s nickname and even the one she gave me.
The stuff about catching her smoking and swearing I’d make her eat one if I caught her again.
That was something only Holly and I knew.
My mouth suddenly went dry.
I’d been so damn stubborn that I hadn’t let anything sink in, writing his odd comments off as part of his personality.
Why the fuck did I suddenly believe him?
After cleaning the living room floor, I shoved the vacuum into the coat closet by the front door. My phone buzzed in the pocket of my sweats. When I pulled it out, I saw it was a message from an unknown number.
Holden, I know you had to work tonight. Thanks for letting me know.
Dr. Latham told me I can leave tomorrow.
I have a few balance issues that mean I’d rather not stay by myself.
I hoped maybe I could camp on your couch for a week or so.
I’ll clean up after myself and feed Ossie and let him out while you’re working.
You won’t even know I’m there, really. Call me.
I had Jack buy me a crappy phone to use until Dad remembers to bring mine back.
I shoved it into my back pocket to think for a minute. I’d had to work overnight on a semi that had a blowout. I was by myself, and it took a while. I’d been lost in my head the whole time I worked on the semi, and I planned to go see him this morning.
I grabbed furniture polish to clean everything. It was funny, because I didn’t usually do much housework. When I wanted the place cleaned up, I called a service to come in. I wasn’t lazy, but I just didn’t like to clean.
“No, you are lazy.” The voice was feminine.
I spun to look at the front door, seeing it was closed and locked. Ossie was in his bed in a post dinner coma. I was alone in the house.
Once I’d searched the house to confirm I was alone, I went back to the living room to finish my cleaning. I picked up the remote to turn on the television so there was noise. I had to stop imagining I was hearing things that weren’t there.
When I pressed the button, nothing happened, so I pulled out my phone again to see my WiFi was down, which sucked. I took the trash with me into the kitchen to the bin and started unloading the dishwasher.
“Are you not going to call him back?”
I turned to see someone sitting on top of the counter. I scrambled over the door of the dishwasher and fell on the floor. I had no weapon in the house except for a butcher knife in the drawer under the woman’s legs.
“Wh-Who... Who are you?” I stammered like an idiot, which I feared was going to become a habit.
“Well, I like that. You don’t recognize your own sister?” She hopped down from the cabinet and put her hands on her hips, staring at me.
Oh, god, it was like a fucking flashback.
Since Holly learned to stand without holding onto anything, if she didn’t get her way she would put her hands on her hips and stare at her opponent until they caved—which was usually me or Dad.
Mom did the same thing, which was where Dad and I believed Holly picked it up.
“Happy, you’re dead, sis. I’m dreaming, right?” Yeah, this was a stupid fucking dream. It was because of what Avery told me the last time I saw him two nights ago: “I know you don’t believe me, but you can feel it beating in my chest, can’t you? Happy lives on inside me.”
“Maybe. I’m not sure you won’t wig out if I tell you too much.
Why didn’t you talk to Mom and Dad about reaching out to the transplant people so the big questions can be answered?
There are five other people who received a piece of me, and only one has died.
He was really sweet when I met him. Mom and Dad need to see that I didn’t die in vain, and they need to meet Avery.
“You love him, Holy, and you not accepting that he could talk to me is thick-headed. You don’t know everything the universe does, and you make him feel like you think he’s nuts. He’s not nuts, Holy.
“I was given a gift in being able to communicate with the person who has my heart so I can move on and know he’s taking care of the people I love since I can’t. Don’t be an idiot. Bring him here tomorrow and fill out the damn papers for UNOS. I don’t have much time left before I move on.”
Holly walked around the dishwasher and patted my cheek before she disappeared.
When I opened my eyes, as I suspected, it was a dream. I was on the couch with Ossie on my chest licking my cheek. It was a beautiful dream, though. Seeing my sister was certainly a gift, even if it was in a dream.
“Come on, Ossie. Let’s go to bed. We’re going to pick up Avery tomorrow and bring him home to stay with us.”
I sent a message back to Avery.
I’m sure you’re asleep, but I’ll be there to pick you up in the morning and bring you here to stay with me. No couch camping. You’re mine, Avery Langhorn, and I intend to treat you like a king. Love you, Holy
Something told me the dream I had wasn’t just a suggestion from my subconscious.
Whether I could wrap my head around it was another matter.
Before going to sleep, I sent a message to Mom and Dad to call me in the morning.
I wanted to push them to contact the United Network of Organ Sharing so they could do whatever was necessary to open the door to sharing information with Holly’s recipients.
In my soul, I now believed Avery was right. I didn’t know how it worked that he could actually speak to my sister, but he was right. Meeting the folks who had received Holly’s organs would bring closure to all of us.
I just needed to convince my parents of the same.