Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A fter Elizabeth danced a short reel with John Lucas, she made her way to a nearby chair for a moment of respite. Not a moment later, Royce appeared at her side.
“May I get you some punch?” he asked enthusiastically. She forced a smile, masking the annoyance that flickered within at his incessant complaisance, and obliged with a polite nod. As she watched him bounce away with the eagerness and excitement of a puppy, she suppressed a groan thinking, Must he always hover so closely? Would he not go spend time with others?
Royce returned quickly with two cups of punch in hand. After settling in the chair beside her, they sipped their punch and engaged in polite, inconsequential conversation. As they neared the bottom of their cups, Elizabeth glanced across the room. Her gaze landed on Mr Darcy, who looked upon them with a piercing stare. Despite the flush she felt creeping up her neck, she determinedly looked away from him, focusing again on Royce.
“Shall we take a turn outside to get some air?” he suggested hopefully.
“Yes, I would like that very well,” she answered as she began to rise.
After they made their way out of doors, Elizabeth felt the gravel crunch beneath her feet as they stepped onto the garden path. The moonlight painted subtle shadows, enhancing the beauty of the night. Inhaling the frigid winter air, she shivered slightly as it filled her lungs. After a few moments of walking side by side, Royce surprised her by taking her hand and threading it through his arm, drawing her close to himself. Her shoulders tensed at his forwardness; while they had walked this way many times before, she preferred initiating such gestures herself. Do not be so easily bothered, she scolded herself. We have known each other for an age, and he merely feels comfortable is all. In any case, it is nice to be closer to another body on such a cold night.
As they continued walking, she looked up towards him and was surprised to find him staring down at her, with a small smile playing upon his lips.
She turned her head sharply in the other direction, and saw the moon hanging low in the sky. “Oh, look!” she exclaimed, pointing upwards. “I have always loved when the moon has a crescent shape like this. It lacks the brilliancy of a full moon, but provokes me to think of what is hidden in its shadows, where the rest of the moon has gone.”
“Hm,” Royce responded casually.
“Does it not provoke your interest?” she asked, looking at him eagerly, hoping once again to gauge his feelings on any subject, no matter how trivial .
“I like when it has a crescent shape too,” he replied, seeming disinterested in the subject.
Oh, another opinion identical to my own, she thought.
He looked down at her seriously and added, “I particularly like the way the moonlight dances on your hair this evening.”
Uncertain how to respond, Elizabeth quickly looked in the other direction. She remained silent as they walked past the frost-dusted plants.
When they had finished pacing in the garden, they moved towards the terrace. Royce broke the silence, speaking rapidly. “Elizabeth, I must speak candidly with you.”
“Yes?” Her stomach sank. Not tonight, not with Mr Darcy just inside and too much tumult already in her mind. She prepared herself to receive the same speech that he had given her every summer for some years now. She knew what he would say although she was at a loss for what her answer should be.
He escorted her over to the terrace and placed his hand on the balustrade, looking off into the distance. “You know you have had my heart since the first summer I came here. Over the years of our acquaintance, I have spoken often to you of our future—sometimes slightly in jest, and sometimes more in earnest.”
He did not wait for her to respond, and hurried through the rest of his prepared speech. “Surely you must have heard that I came into my own fortune this past year. I am now free to marry where I please, knowing I can provide a future that is comfortable for my wife.”
Elizabeth, her eyes fixed on his strong hand gripping the balustrade, knew not what to say. Was this it? Was this his proposal ?
“I am not going to ask you today,” he said with an uncomfortable-sounding chuckle. “Pray do not alarm yourself, but I want you to understand my intentions and to think of what you might say if…nay, when…I do.”
He seemed to have finished his speech and she dared look up at him, opening her mouth to speak. Before she had the chance, he continued quietly, “But pray permit me to say this: if you refuse me or ask for more time, I cannot wait for you. I am now at the age where I very much wish to be married. If you will not be my wife, I must begin to look elsewhere for my future companionship.”
“Allow me to understand you. If you ask me, it would be the only time?”
“Precisely.” He smiled as a light breeze ruffled his hair. He looked more assured than she had ever seen him, and she knew not if it made him more appealing or more vexing.
“I see.” She lowered her gaze, looking at the ground and contemplating what he had said. “I appreciate your candour, sir.”
After a few more moments of silence, he said, “Let us leave this discussion for another day, yes?”
She smiled, and indicating she was chilled, they began walking towards the terrace door. Suddenly Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy emerged from inside the house. Mr Bingley jovially greeted them, while Mr Darcy stood a small distance behind his friend, gazing off into the dark night.
“Mr Royce, you must tell me what you and Elizabeth were speaking of before we interrupted you—you looked very serious for such a cheerful gathering.”
It was too dark to see the shade of Royce’s countenance, but Elizabeth thought he might have flushed. Only Mr Bingley could see two people in such a private moment and think to intrude upon them! Royce seemed to flounder, so she spoke quickly. “I asked Mr Royce a peculiar question: if he had a special ability outside of the natural world, what he would wish it to be. I said I would like to be able to transport myself to any place at the merest whim.”
The look he sent her was discomfiting in its tender gratefulness. “Yes, yes, and tell them where you told me you might go. Quite clever, it was.”
She forced herself to smile at his accolade. “I said I would visit Paris for the morning followed by somewhere like India for the afternoon.”
“Splendid idea indeed,” Mr Bingley enthused. “And an interesting question to consider. For myself, I would like to be able to have excessive strength. What about you, Royce?”
“The ability to read another’s heart.” He said it too warmly, while looking at her a little too endearingly.
Elizabeth felt herself flush with embarrassment. With forced brightness, she turned to the silent member of the group. “And what say you, Mr Darcy?”
He seemed surprised to have been addressed. He glanced at her then returned his eyes to some point distant in the garden. “Um… Perhaps the ability to manipulate time.”
“Time?” she asked.
He added quietly, “Perhaps I would go back and make different decisions.”
“Interesting choice!” Mr Bingley exclaimed. “What sort of dec?—”
“Oh, there is Miss Catherine,” Royce exclaimed suddenly. Elizabeth saw her younger sister just inside the door to the terrace. “I promised to play lottery tickets with her.”
“You had better go in, then.” Elizabeth smiled at Royce, pleased at his affability towards her sisters .
“I must go in as well,” Mr Bingley said, falling into step beside him. The noise of voices and laughter filled their ears as the two men opened the door to return to the party. A moment later, the door closed and peace returned.
She and Mr Darcy were left standing alone on the terrace. A few moments of silence passed.
Elizabeth was determined to appear civil after her last outburst towards him. The weather seemed an easy topic to discuss. “Is it not pleasant this time of year, when one has the ability of retreating from a warm gathering to the brisk out of doors?”
“Yes,” was all the gentleman said.
Both looked towards the ground and were quiet. Mr Darcy seemed distracted by his own thoughts. Elizabeth felt the urge to be anywhere but where she was. Suddenly, both began to speak.
“I suppose I must be?—”
“I daresay?—”
Elizabeth forced a little laugh. “Pray do go on, sir.”
He took a breath and looked as if he contemplated whether he should continue or not. “He is not what I expected. Um…what I mean is…I had imagined you would marry someone different.”
She looked at him, at a loss for words. What could he possibly mean by that?
Mr Darcy seemed to read her thoughts. “His attachment to you is greater than yours is to him. I have been watching. I always believed only love would induce you into matrimony.”
How dare he? Fury threatened to consume her but she held her composure. “I know what you are about.”
He looked surprised by her sudden anger. “Excuse me? I do not understand. ”
“You are the type of man who discards a lady yet feels discomfort when she has nearly secured another one—even if you no longer have any interest in her. You believe that her failure to secure you means she ought to remain alone forever.”
“No, that is not what I meant.” He rubbed his hand through his hair and turned to the side. Straightening his posture, he faced her again, and said in a more composed manner, “That is not what is happening here, I am merely expressing an opinion and relaying what I objectively see.”
She narrowed her eyes.
“We have always spoken our minds freely to each other, and at one time we were great friends,” he said. “I know you would think less of me if I did not speak what I truly believed.”
Elizabeth stared into his eyes, and he met her gaze with equal intensity.
“Elizabeth? You have been out here for an age… Oh, excuse me, is something amiss?”
At the sound of Jane’s voice, Elizabeth whipped her head around and quickly stepped away from Mr Darcy. The interruption made her realise how close she and Mr Darcy were standing and how heavily she was breathing.
“Yes, Jane, I was just returning.” She looked back at Mr Darcy. In a low voice only he could hear, she said, “There is not much you could do to make me think any less of you than I already do.”
She turned around and walked quickly to her sister and into the house.