Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
T he next afternoon, Elizabeth discreetly tapped her toes beneath her gown as she sat next to Royce on the sofa in Longbourn’s drawing room. In her subtle display of anxiety, she offered a sharp contrast to the serenity around her. Mary and Jane were quietly completing needlework, while Kitty and Royce carried on a jovial conversation. Elizabeth’s nervous foot-tapping was unladylike behaviour, but she could not find it in her to stop as she anticipated Mr Darcy’s arrival with Mr Bingley. She planned to quickly find a reason to be alone with him, and apologise. The mantel clock ticked loudly behind her as she awaited their appearance, each tick seeming an eternity from the last. Finally, Mr Bingley, noticeably alone, entered the room and greeted everyone. His behaviour was all that was easy and friendly, but Elizabeth thought she saw a shadow pass behind his eyes when she asked, “Do you come alone today?”
“I do. ”
She smiled at him, but felt a rush of disappointment greater than she expected.
“Darcy came ahead of me with the purpose of calling on your father,” he added.
“Indeed?” Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “He already is here?”
“I saw him go into Papa’s study a while ago,” said Kitty.
Elizabeth clenched her jaw, restraining her frustration. How long had she heard Kitty prattle this morning about pointless topics when she could have provided useful information ages ago? She must have missed him enter when she and Jane had been walking with Royce around the cutting garden.
She had to wait a half an hour longer to find out Mr Darcy’s purpose in calling, when he and her father approached the drawing room with an air of easiness and smiles on their faces. In his hands, Mr Darcy held one of her father’s books.
“Thank you for indulging an old man in describing the works in your library,” Mr Bennet was saying. “If ever I journey north, you may be assured I will take advantage of your invitation and stop at Pemberley to admire your bookshelves.”
“You are welcome at any time, sir. And I thank you for showing me yours and lending this title to me.” Under his breath, he added, “My friend’s collection is an absolute shame. I will relish the stimulation this will provide.”
Elizabeth stared dumbfounded as the two men laughed together and Mr Bennet clapped Mr Darcy on the back. “You are welcome to Longbourn at any time. Please come back once you have finished that one and we can find another interesting book for you. ”
My father is lending books to Mr Darcy? Are they forming something of a friendship? How could this be?
When Mr Bennet left to return to his book-room, Mr Darcy entered the room fully. He did not look at her or insert himself into the general conversation, instead choosing to sit in one of the chairs off to the side. Flustered, Elizabeth struggled to think of some excuse to go sit by him so she could undertake her apology. She found the opportunity when he suddenly stood and headed towards the door. She overheard him tell Mr Bingley that he was going out of doors for some fresh air.
As Mr Darcy reached the door, Elizabeth knew she would need to follow him out. She rose on suddenly shaking legs and announced, “Please excuse me, I think I will go for a quick stroll out of doors.”
“I will join you,” Royce said suddenly. “I would like to stretch my legs as well.”
She attempted to push away her displeasure with Royce at foiling her plan. Much as she wished to, she could not deny his offer and, with a forced smile, politely acquiesced that he should join her.
As they exited Longbourn together, he stopped and held out his arm; Elizabeth exhaled sharply as she reluctantly took it. Her hopes of finding Mr Darcy and shaking off Royce dimmed. As they walked along, she heard her little cousins’ laughing voices as they played in the distance, but there was no sign of Mr Darcy.
They rounded to the side of the house and, to her surprise, discovered him in company with Amelia and Lillian in a clearing on the other side of some shrubbery. Elizabeth and Royce remained unnoticed; she crept up as closely as she could without being seen, beckoning Royce to join her .
Lillian was yelling, “No! Do not go that way, if you do they will see you!”
“Well, what do you propose then?” Mr Darcy asked in a livelier manner than he usually displayed.
“That is where the pirates sleep! We need to go round to the other side of the house.”
Amelia ran up to them, pretending to ride a broom as a horse. “Come on everybody, get on a horse like me, and we will get away.”
Elizabeth was surprised to see him engaging with children of such humble birth—their father was involved in trade! Perhaps his disdain and superciliousness towards those he deemed inferior only manifested towards adults. She scolded herself. If she was determined to apologise to him, she could not dwell on such musings.
“But we do not have horses as you do,” Mr Darcy said to the little girl. “I believe we should hide behind the bushes instead.”
Amelia paused and with a shrug, announced, “You will probably die then.” She happily galloped away around the corner of the house.
“Hurry!” shouted Lillian. “They shall be back any moment so we must hide quickly.”
Elizabeth felt a grin spread across her face. Sensing Royce looking at her, she pressed her finger to her lips to remind him to stay quiet so they could remain undiscovered.
Mr Darcy and Lillian made their way towards the hedges, close to where Elizabeth and Royce were concealed, to hide from the pirates.
“Oh very well, I shall come too!” exclaimed Amelia as she abandoned her broom horse. The three sat behind some hedges where Elizabeth and Royce could still hear them without being discovered. They were silent for a few moments while they all hid.
“I have a joke for you, Mr Darcy,” Lillian announced.
“What is it?” he whispered back, then urged her to speak in a whisper as well.
“The breakfast we had today was egg-cellent!”
“That is clever!”
“I have one too!” cried Amelia.
“Tell us, Amelia.”
“This grass is a house!”
Mr Darcy chuckled, loudly and exaggeratedly.
“Shh! Quiet Mr Darcy. They will hear us,” Lillian exclaimed. “Amelia, that is not a joke. That does not even make sense.”
“Yes, it does!” argued Amelia.
Mr Darcy was more encouraging. “I thought it was very amusing, Amelia. I look forward to any and all jokes you have for me.”
“Mr Darcy?”
“Yes, Amelia?”
“Will you get us more chocolate biscuits?”
“I have given you two biscuits,” he said in an amused voice. “Your mother would be displeased if I were to give you more.”
“Please?” added Lillian. “We will not tell her.”
Deciding Mr Darcy deserved a reprieve, Elizabeth stepped into their view. Behind her Royce also revealed himself.
“That is enough, girls,” Elizabeth called out. “Unhand Mr Darcy.”
He looked over at her, clearly surprised by her presence. A chorus of little groans went up and Amelia explained earnestly, “But he is helping us with the pirates! ”
“I see.” Elizabeth smiled at him.
Suddenly Royce took it upon himself to join in the fun. He put on a wide smile and crouched down to the children. “May I have a turn helping catch the pirates?” he asked in an overly excited manner while nodding his head energetically. He turned his head a little too often towards Elizabeth, as if to make sure she saw him.
“Come, I think they are over there,” he said in a spirited voice, pointing towards an opposite direction. He commenced running, and with some encouragement from Elizabeth, the girls followed.
After they ran off, she looked to Mr Darcy, standing quietly and gazing away from her. The wind gently lifted his hair away from his forehead, and her breath caught in her chest. He was so strikingly handsome when she was not arguing with him. It was unfortunate that such good looks were wasted on a terrible man.
She looked towards the children and saw Royce staring eagerly in her direction again. Yes, that is wonderful. We all see you playing with my cousins. She bid herself to be polite. She knew such behaviour bothered her more than it should. He only wanted her approval after all.
She turned back to Mr Darcy, impatient to say the words she needed to now that they were alone. “I apologise for interrupting you and my cousins,” she said awkwardly. “I appreciate you spending time with them and giving their day some joy.”
“It was easy. They are wonderful children,” he said quietly, looking at the ground.
“They have just come through a particularly trying time.”
He tilted his head, and looked at her inquisitively.
“My aunt was gravely ill recently,” she said quietly as she gazed at the lawn. “It came on suddenly, and for a time, we thought we would lose her. The doctor could not explain how she recovered, but her health seemed to return as mysteriously as it had declined.”
“I am terribly sorry. That must have been distressing for all of you.”
She glanced at him and saw him looking at her with more feeling and compassion than he usually showed. “It was. And in some ways, it still is.”
They both said nothing for some time.
“My parents care a great deal for the girls. During my aunt’s illness they took turns coming to Longbourn for weeks at a time. My aunt and uncle tried to be strong during the whole ordeal, but they needed much support.”
She hoped to make him understand that in spite of how short they fell of fashionable society’s standards, her parents were kind-hearted and loving. They deserved his respect.
“If things had taken a turn for the worse, I am sure they would have helped my uncle for the rest of their days.”
He looked serious, and said with all sincerity, “That is very admirable. And how does your aunt fare now?”
“She is no longer ill, as you have seen. She made the journey here to deliver the children before returning to Cheapside to assist my uncle with some business matters. And she will make the journey back again for the wedding without exhausting herself, which is far more than we could have said just a few months ago. However, the mental anguish of coming so close to death—of leaving her children motherless and her husband without a wife—left a mark on her. It has left a mark on all of us, really.”
Her eyes flickered to Mr Darcy for a moment before gazing back out into the countryside again .
“We recognise that she has triumphed, but the sudden brush with death has left a lingering unease. Even though the danger has passed, an undercurrent of anxiety remains.”
Tears began to sting her eyes as she recalled the ordeal, and she was reminded of how easy and natural it once was for her to talk to him. To her surprise, he reached as if to touch her arm to comfort her before quickly stopping himself. Then he shook his head and rubbed his hand across his chin. “I am deeply sorry for what you had to endure. After losing my mother at a young age, I can understand more than most how the thought of your small cousins losing a parent is a heavy burden to carry. I can imagine how it can haunt you, even in your case, long after the danger has passed. Were there anything that I could do to lessen your and your family’s fears.”
Everything that had just passed between them—from his genuine understanding to acknowledging that her family had commendable qualities—provided far more comfort than whatever physical touch of condolence he might have given.
Elizabeth nodded again. “Thank you.”
After another reflective pause in the conversation listening to the laughter of Amelia and Lillian as they dashed about with Royce, she cleared her throat and said in a lighter tone, “I must say, I was rather surprised to see you frolicking with the children.”
“There is no need to be shocked. However, I imagine with your current opinion of me, you might think that I would prefer dragging children behind my carriage rather than play with them.” After a pause, Mr Darcy added quietly, “I usually save that for Sundays.”
Surprised, Elizabeth giggled. Mr Darcy joined her with a chuckle .
At his mention of her negative regard for him, however, she knew she must do what she had set out to do. She inhaled deeply before continuing. “Mr Darcy, I must speak to you about something.”
He turned to her with a surprised expression, but nodded to indicate that she should continue.
“I wish to say, well, I wish to apologise for yesterday. My words were cutting and I regret speaking them to you.”
His eyes widened in apparent consternation. The intensity of his gaze almost compelled her to step back from him. After a moment, he blinked rapidly and shook his head before finally saying gravely, “Consider your apology accepted.”
He was silent for a long moment before continuing, “The manner in which I treated you upon our last day together in Kent may have merited some enmity on your end towards me. It is understandable that you do not hold me in the highest esteem. Nevertheless, I appreciate you offering words of contrition. It is a testament to your character that you are willing to seek amends.”
His brow furrowed and he added, “I must argue for my own share of the blame. The peculiar coldness that has existed between us since my arrival here has not sat well upon me. It felt more desirable to debate with you than behave as hardly more than acquaintances.”
“Our shared history does make for an awkward and emotional reunion,” Elizabeth agreed. “But I am quite tired of being angry with you and hating you. It is not in my nature to dwell on pain and regret, and I hope that henceforth we might conduct ourselves as friends.”
“I would like that very much,” he said, almost eagerly .
“Very well, then. Friends?” She held out her hand and smiled at him.
He took her hand into his and returned her smile. “Friends.”
She dropped his hand abruptly when she saw Royce and her cousins walking towards them.
“We escaped the pirates!” cried Lillian.
Royce looked from Elizabeth to Mr Darcy and seeming eager to interrupt their private conversation, said, “Well, this has been delightful. Should we go back inside? I am sure everyone wonders where we have disappeared to.”
“Uh, yes. I am sure you are right,” Elizabeth responded, and they all walked back inside together.