Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
A fter dinner, the women stood to withdraw, while the gentlemen stayed behind to enjoy some port. Darcy watched longingly as Elizabeth left the room. The port was poured, and Darcy whirled the drink around in his glass. His custom was to have only a few sips of the drink, mostly for appearance’s sake, but tonight he could not deny that he felt tempted to have more.
The conversation had turned to a hunt Bingley had recently attended. Darcy was uninterested and hardly listened to the story. He had little regard for hunting when he was in a decent state of mind, and much less patience to discuss it in the one he was in now. Most of his thoughts were focused on the spot in the drawing room where Elizabeth resided, wherever that might be.
He finally took a sip from his port and resisted the urge to down it all in one gulp. Why were things so uncomfortable between them again? After their conversation yesterday, he had had high hopes for tonight. Alas, since she had arrived at Netherfield, she had hardly given him a second glance. She had seemed forlorn since her first step into the home, and she did not have an inviting air about her. It had almost been easier to be around her when she viewed him as an adversary, for she had surely paid more attention to him when she hated him! At this thought, he slammed his glass down on the table harder than he meant to.
“Darcy?” Bingley enquired. “Forgive me, it seems I have rather monopolised the conversation.”
“Not at all.” Darcy forced a conciliatory smile. “I suppose I am distracted.”
“Shall we join the ladies?”
It was evident Bingley was as eager as he to rejoin the ladies, and after an amused glance at Hurst, nearly snoring into his port, Darcy was quick to push his chair back and stand, hoping there would be some improvement between himself and Elizabeth.
Any gathering where Royce is absent is a gathering to be cherished, he thought as the men moved down the hall. Upon entering the drawing room, his eyes first fell on Mrs Hurst, Miss Bennet, and Miss Bingley seated together on a settee. Mrs Hurst was absentmindedly fiddling with her necklace, while Miss Bennet wore a calm smile. Next to her, Miss Bingley tapped her fingers lightly on the arm of the settee, her lips pursed in a slight pout.
Across from them, he noticed Miss Lydia, seated in an armchair, her hands gesturing energetically as she spoke to Miss Catherine. Next to her on the settee was Miss Mary, who had a book open in her lap. A flutter stirred in his stomach as soon as he saw Elizabeth seated beside her. She looked lovely, wearing an amused smile as she listened to her youngest sister .
Elizabeth turned her head towards him for the briefest moment before frowning and quickly looking away, affording him no exceptional interest. His heart sank and he took a seat near the chaise longue where Hurst had sprawled.
Apparently heedless of her husband’s lethargy, Mrs Hurst glanced hopefully around the room and proposed, “Who would like to play a game of charades?”
Miss Bingley glared at her sister.
“It has been so long since we have last played,” pleaded Mrs Hurst.
Miss Catherine giggled. “I think charades sounds splendid!”
Upon seeing the rest of the Bennet sisters nod in agreement, Miss Bingley agreed with reluctant resignation, and the game soon was underway. Darcy found himself in rare agreement with Miss Bingley. He would have much preferred quiet conversation, where he might have drawn Elizabeth aside. He rarely enjoyed games such as these and now, feeling his hopes for a future with Elizabeth were again lost, he could hardly feign interest.
Eventually, he picked up a book and returned to the sofa near where Hurst was napping, darting a few glances at Elizabeth whenever temptation could not be conquered. She never looked back at him. Unlike him, she actually enjoyed people, parties, and games, and looked quite entertained. It was the happiest he had seen her all night.
At length, Miss Bingley interrupted his thoughts. “I believe I have had enough of charades for one evening,” she said, looking in Darcy’s direction. “I find myself in the mood for reading. Would it be an inconvenience if I joined you?”
He shook his head, hoping his disappointment was not evident in his expression. “Not at all. ”
If only Elizabeth could give him a quarter of as much attention as Miss Bingley did! As she approached his side of the room, he took a deep breath to strengthen his forbearance. If anyone tested his amended character of practising the law of kindness to all creatures, it was Caroline Bingley. She slowly walked towards him, fluttering her eyelashes, and sat beside him on the sofa with a book she picked up from the side table. The longer they sat, the more Darcy resisted the urge to groan when he observed that she never turned her page. As often occurred when they were in the same party, she had feigned interest in reading in order to be close to him. He glanced at Elizabeth again, and saw her studying them briefly before looking away, seemingly indifferent.
Would she have any reaction at all, it would be preferable. She seems to hardly care that I am in the same room as her. It would be worth Miss Bingley’s incessant fawning if it meant Elizabeth showed a spark of interest in me.
He looked back to his page and attempted to distract himself. Before long, Darcy was drawn from his book when he heard Elizabeth’s name called out to lead the next charade. As she moved towards the front of the room, he closed his book and watched her. It proved difficult to look upon her impassively, for in contrast to some hours ago when she appeared wan, her liveliness and beauty were on full display. He nearly groaned so great was his desire to jump from his seat and kiss her.
Her hands clasped in front of her, Elizabeth said, “Very well, here is mine: ‘My first doth affliction denote, which my second is destined to feel. And my whole is the best antidote that affliction to soften and heal’.”
She smiled archly as she heard the murmuring throughout the room. After a few minutes, when no one was able to solve her riddle, she began looking a little smug. “Does no one have an answer?” When no response came, she said, “Well then, if no?—”
“Woman,” Darcy said loudly.
Everyone turned to look at him. From the looks on their faces, it seemed most had forgotten he was even there.
He cleared his throat. “The answer is ‘woman’.”
She smiled brilliantly at him. “Mr Darcy is correct. Good job, sir.”
The room clapped at his victory. He abruptly looked down at his book again, opening to the last page he had been reading. After a few more rounds of charades, the group dispersed to individual pursuits. Elizabeth sat by the hearth, apparently content to listen to others’ conversations.
He gazed upon her as she watched her sister and Bingley whisper to each other on the other side of the room. A deep, sincere smile spread across her face. She turned her head in his direction, and their eyes met. His heart jumped. Whether it was intentional or by chance that she smiled in his direction, it gave him all the encouragement he needed. Without hesitation, he crossed the room swiftly, as if beckoned, to join her. If he was being too eager, he did not care.
“May I sit with you?” he asked, his voice breathless as he approached.
She looked taken aback but answered, “Of course.”
As Darcy sat down next to her, he could not help but feel very alert to how close she was sitting, and every movement that she made. He cleared his throat, eager to begin some conversation between them. “You have been quiet tonight. Are you concerned about the snow?”
She smiled. “No, I am not concerned as long as no one is injured. ”
He nodded.
“I do feel concern for Mary, though.” She tilted her head in her sister’s direction. “It is her birthday tomorrow, and I know she will be disappointed not to be at Longbourn. My mother has a big breakfast made for our birthdays. It is a tradition for us.”
“Ah, I see. Perhaps we should try to celebrate here.”
She straightened at this suggestion and appeared a little astonished. “That would be very kind, sir.”
Pleased by Elizabeth’s response, he assured her he would see to the arrangements. Then, uncertain what to say next, Darcy fell silent.
She looked up at him with a gentle smile. “Are you sad to be away from Derbyshire? I know how much you adore it.”
“A little,” he admitted. “Though if there is a time to be away, it is now, in the thick of winter. It is quite cold.”
“Yes, I imagine so. And how is Pemberley? Is it as lovely as I recall from your descriptions of it?”
“It is. Perhaps even lovelier. The library has been improved, with a new collection of volumes recently arrived, and we have added a gazebo by the lake.”
“Oh really? It surprises me that your father would change anything.” She paused before continuing with a teasing smile, “From the way you had always described him, it seemed as though he believed Pemberley could not ever be improved upon.”
Darcy cleared his throat. “Yes, well…” He paused, not yet ready to delve into the reasons behind the changes. He knew he would tell her the whole truth soon, but not here, not as they were surrounded by all the others. Shifting the conversation, he added, “Lambton, the nearest village, has changed greatly too. ”
“Oh?”
“Yes, it has almost doubled in size in recent years. There is even a book shop now. You would enjoy it.”
Elizabeth’s smile deepened. “It sounds charming.”
He paused as the image of them strolling the cobbled streets together flashed briefly in his mind. “It is,” he said softly.
Their conversation continued to flow easily and naturally, and soon the Hursts rose to retire for the evening. Led by their clearly exasperated hostess, the three youngest Bennets followed to be shown to their rooms.
Darcy wished to remain with Elizabeth and continue their pleasant conversation but when Bingley and Miss Bennet stood, he knew Elizabeth would withdraw for propriety’s sake. How I wish I could simply speak candidly with her, and tell her of all my regrets. I must find a way to tell her the truth about that day.
Just as he predicted, she soon excused herself. Disappointed, Darcy stood up with her. “Miss Elizabeth, I wanted to enquire...Would you join me in the library tomorrow after breakfast?”
She looked surprised at his request, tilting her head and looking at him curiously.
“There are…some books I thought you in particular might like to peruse as we are snowed in.”
“That would be lovely. Thank you, Mr Darcy.”
“I look forward to seeing you in the morning,” he said before reaching out, almost impulsively, to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His hand lingered there for a moment before he pulled it down slowly and chastised himself for his actions . Have some control, man! You cannot touch her just because you want to! He laid his hand quickly by his side. As was his instinct when he felt nervous, he reached into his pocket, retrieving a familiar small object and fumbling with it between his fingers.
Elizabeth appeared stunned for a few moments at what had just transpired, before finally responding, “Likewise.” After a slight pause, she continued, “Goodnight, Mr Darcy.” Then she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.