Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Oaklee
I don’t know how long I lie here, but it’s enough that my buzz is gone. In its place is a slightly broken heart that is consuming me.
Why did he want to spend the night?
Man, I wanted that so much. I want him lying beside me more than I want my next breath, but I can’t let it happen and then just magically go back to being friends with benefits.
My heart is invested, and if he stayed here, it would only bring heartache.
I can’t keep the two separate when he’s in my bed.
I can barely tell the difference between friends and what feels like a real relationship at this point.
If I can’t keep a firm line between the two, I’m going to lose him forever, because at the end of the day, he doesn’t want what I do.
I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
He wants a good time.
When the clock on my phone hits three in the morning, I crawl from bed and use the bathroom.
Once I’ve washed my hands, I make my way to the kitchen.
I need a glass of water and some ice cream.
Flipping on the light, I retrieve a glass first and fill it up from the tap.
It doesn’t taste the greatest, but it’s liquid, and I’m dying of thirst.
After draining the glass, I head for the freezer and pull out the carton of mint chocolate chip and a spoon and have a seat at the table.
I peel off the lid and dive in, not even caring to be eating straight from the container.
No one else lives here, so it’s not like I need to worry about germs or backwash or anything like that.
My mind immediately goes to Cade.
I can picture him sitting across from me, spoon in hand, and scooping out a big bite of the minty chocolatey goodness for himself.
He’s got a sweet tooth, even though you wouldn’t know it.
His body is hard, his abs pronounced. He’s gorgeous and fit and would still sit right here and eat ice cream in the middle of the night with me.
Just as I scoop a second spoonful out, there’s a knock on the door.
I sit completely still, wondering what I should do. Obviously, I shouldn’t answer the door. It could be anyone at this time of night, and usually that person is up to no good. I set my spoon down, wondering where my phone is.
Shit, I left it plugged in on my nightstand.
A second knock sounds, this one a little louder and more insistent than the first one. “Oaklee? Are you awake?”
Cade?
I get up and quietly move to the front door, peeking through the little hole in the door. My heart is hammering in my chest, and I’m pretty sure I’m not breathing. I confirm with a second look through the peephole and unlock the door, slowly pulling it open.
“Are you all right?” he asks, his face full of worry.
“Yes, I—what are you doing here?”
Is it the alcohol still in my system causing my head to spin like this?
He looks exhausted. There are bags under his eyes, and his hair is sticking up in a thousand directions. “I never left.”
My mouth drops open, and I realize we’re standing in the doorway. I step back and wave my hand, allowing him inside. “You didn’t leave? Why?”
He stands in my living room, still looking like the most gorgeous man he is. My chest is tight as I stare at him, waiting.
“Because I didn’t want to leave you. What are you doing up? Are you okay?” he repeats.
I blink once. Twice.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Oaklee? Are you all right?
It takes several seconds before I’m able to formulate a single word to say, “Yes.”
“Okay, good,” he replies, visibly relaxing. “That’s good. I freaked out that something was wrong when I saw your lights go on.”
“Cade,” I say, reaching out and placing my palm against his arm. “Why were you still outside? It’s three in the morning.”
He glances down, a sheepish look on his face. “I, uh…can we sit?”
I nod, turning to move to the couch, but then remember my ice cream. “Let’s go to the kitchen. Do you want something to drink?”
“No thank you,” he replies, stopping when he sees my middle of the night snack sitting on the table. “Ice cream?”
I shrug. “I got snacky and it sounded good.”
He slides onto the chair opposite the one I was sitting in earlier and reaches for the spoon. Without asking, he dips it into the ice cream and takes a small bite. “Good stuff.”
I nod, waiting.
“You’re feeling okay? After drinking?”
“Yes, Dad,” I reply with a small grin. “I feel fine.”
“Good.” He hands over my spoon and levels me with a gaze. “I have to tell you something, and I’m scared.”
“You’re scared?”
He nods, watching as I take a small scoop of ice cream, just to give myself something to do with my hand. “I’m scared to tell you the truth.”
“About?” My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It’s barely a whisper and hoarse.
“How I feel about you,” he confesses, watching as I lick the spoon.
Handing over the utensil, he takes his own small bite before continuing.
“I know my history screams hump and dump. I’ve never had a real relationship.
I’ve kept women at arm’s length my entire adult life.
But the truth is, I’ve always wanted what my parents have.
I want the life, the house, the kids, everything.
However, I knew it wasn’t just going to fall in my lap, so I’ve continued being me, while keeping my eyes open. ”
“Okay,” I say, trying to understand what he’s saying.
“I was content just having fun. Until I met you.”
My eyebrows pull up in question as he takes another small bite. “I wasn’t any fun?”
“No, you were more than fun, Oaklee. You changed the game. A game I didn’t even know I was playing until it was too late.”
“Stop speaking in metaphors,” I insist, reaching for the spoon and grabbing a big bite.
He grabs my wrist holding the spoon and stops my movement.
“I lied about my reasoning for wanting to spend the night, and the reason I’m scared is if I lay my heart out there, you might not feel the same.
But I don’t know that I can go back and pretend I’m not completely in love with you, beautiful.
It’s too hard. So, if you tell me you’re not ready for a relationship, that you just want to be friends, I’ll do it.
But you need to know my feelings are more than that, and I’ll be working my ass off to not only prove it to you, but to show you until you realize you love me too. ”
My vision becomes blurred as tears fill my eyes. “You…love me?”
He takes the spoon and sets it in the carton before standing up and moving to where I sit. He squats in front of me, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe the wetness off my cheeks. “Yeah, I love you.”
I bring my hands up to my face and cry.
Realization washes over me. Not that I want to think about my ex at a time like this, but when was the last time I heard him say those three little words? He was always too hurried to get off the phone, and he’d never text me just to let me know he was thinking of me and loved me.
But here’s this beautiful man, laying his heart out there. He’s exactly what I didn’t even realize I was looking for, and I’m so damn lucky to have found him, despite how quickly it might have happened.
“Oaklee?” he whispers, carefully moving my hands off my face. “Are you okay?”
“I love you too,” I blurt out. “So much.”
His smile is slow but lights up his entire face. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Yeah. It’s a recent realization, but I thought you only wanted the friends with benefits thing. That’s why I didn’t want you to stay the night with me. I knew if I had you in my bed all night, I’d never want you to leave or never recover when you did.”
He moves, lifting me off the chair and taking my place, setting me down on his knees. “So, let me get this straight. You love me but didn’t want to say because you didn’t know how I felt, and I love you for the same reason.”
“That sounds about right,” I agree with a chuckle.
He claims my lips, and it feels so different this time. It’s like the first kiss all over again, but so much better. Real. Deep. Meaningful.
Love.
I don’t know how long we sit here, making out, but it feels like only a few seconds. However, by the way we’re both gasping to catch our breath, I’d say it was much longer. I slide my palms up his jaw, my fingertips dancing at the edge of his hairline. “I can’t believe you love me,” I whisper.
He threads his hands into my hair, holding me close as he gazes into my eyes. “Best day of my life was when I hit on you at the bar.”
“I turned you down,” I remind him with a grin.
“Yeah, but I got the woman in the end.” His smile is cocky, just as I’d expect it to be.
“Yes, yes you did,” I agree, brushing my lips across his. “Now, take me to bed, and promise you’ll spend the night.”
“I promise.”
Lifting me up, he carries me into the living room where he stops and makes sure the door is locked before walking to my bedroom and laying me on top of my bed.
We’re awake for the next thirty minutes, and when we’re both naked, sweaty, and spent, we curl up together and close our eyes. It’s the best night of sleep I’ve ever had, with the man I love sleeping right beside me.
It’s the start of something amazing.