Four
FOUR
SOPHIE
TEN YEARS AGO
“ O kay, you’re right. This is the best view of the city!” I exclaim while the whole city of Barcelona stretches before my eyes. It’s beautiful. I can see everything from this viewpoint on Mount Tibidabo, which is now one of my favorite spots.
“Told you.” Liam’s dark eyes are on mine, and he smiles so brightly. It’s as beautiful as this mountain.
No, scratch that. He’s even more beautiful in his crisp white shirt and linen pants, the fabric catching the sunlight and accentuating the contours of his muscular frame. He looks utterly mouth-watering.
“Now what?” I ask, tied up in knots with curiosity. After I told him I had a bad day at school yesterday, he planned today’s itinerary. It’s been a while since someone thought of me this way.
He lifts his arm and points to the right. “You see that Ferris wheel over there?” I follow his finger to the massive structure in the distance. “I’m taking you on a ride.”
I go still as the realization hits. The Ferris wheel isn’t gigantic in itself, but it sits atop the mountain. The very, very high mountain.
I shake my head. “I don’t think I can do that. What if we fall?”
“Yes, you can, and we won’t. It’s safe,” he says, his voice firm yet gentle, a soothing contradiction that sends a shiver down my spine. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer, the scent of him—crisp, warm, and undeniably him—enveloping me.
Leaning in, his lips hover near my ear, his breath warm as he whispers, “I would never put you in a dangerous situation.”
My body almost relaxes at his words, the steady weight of his arm grounding me as his promise sinks in. For a fleeting moment, I let myself believe him, the tension in my chest loosening as if his presence alone could shield me from anything.
We approach the amusement park, and Liam buys tickets for the Ferris wheel. I can’t tear my eyes away from the colorful gondolas circling above us. Very high above us.
My stomach tightens as I track their movement, imagining the gentle sway of the gondola when it reaches its peak. The ground feels steady beneath my feet now, but I can’t shake the thought of it vanishing when we’re suspended in mid-air, with nothing but the thin walls of the gondola separating me from the endless sky.
I swallow hard and glance at Liam, who seems completely at ease, his hands casually tucked into his jacket pockets. Of course, he’d be the type to find this thrilling. I latch onto the laughter and chatter around me, the hum of the machinery, the bright lights blinking on the wheel, desperate for a distraction—but it’s useless.
Why did I agree to this?
The line moves quickly, and my pulse races with each step closer. My mind spins with every worst-case scenario—a sudden gust of wind, a mechanical failure, the very real possibility of me panicking halfway up. Each thought sharpens the edge of my anxiety, making it harder to breathe.
I wrap my arms around myself, holding tight as if I can shield myself from the whirlwind of emotions inside me. But it’s no use. It’s as though the Ferris wheel has already grabbed hold of me, pulling me upward into its grasp before I’ve even stepped onto it.
“Doing okay?” Liam’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up at him, forcing a smile that feels fragile, like it might crack under the weight of my nerves.
“Yeah. Fine.” My voice is steady, but I doubt I’m convincing anyone.
“Did you know that this amusement park is the oldest one in Spain and the second oldest in Europe?”
“What!” The words burst out of me, my breath catching as disbelief knots with a wave of panic that ripples through my chest. There's no way I'm getting on that ancient contraption. My legs instinctively twitch, ready to bolt, but Liam's arm is like a steel barrier around my shoulders, keeping me firmly in place.
“Calm down,” he murmurs, his voice soothing against my ear, “it’s obviously been maintained and renewed several times. I just thought you’d find that information cool.”
“Cool!? You just told me it’s the oldest amusement park in Europe.”
He tsks, his eyes dancing with mischief. “ Second oldest.”
I glare at him, but there's no denying the spark of excitement mingling with the fear in my chest. This man will drive me crazy, and I'm starting to think I might enjoy every minute of it.
His eyes soften, and he speaks with a reassuring gentleness, “Listen, if you’re terrified and don’t want to do this, I won’t force you. We can leave and go to the top of the church, then have some dinner. It’s always up to you. Deal ?”
There’s no teasing in his eyes, no hint of frustration—just patience that somehow both calms and unnerves me. It’s not the kind of reassurance I’m used to, where bravery is demanded before fear is acknowledged. Instead, he lets me be afraid. It’s strange and disarming, like being given permission to take up space I didn’t think I deserved. And somehow, in his calm acceptance, I feel the stirrings of a strength I didn’t know I had—one that makes me want to face this, not for him, but because I trust him to catch me if I fall.
“ Deal ,” I reply, feeling a newfound determination. “I want to do it. With you.”
He nods, his eyes steady and warm, a quiet confidence softening the sharp lines of his face. His lips curve into the faintest smile, carrying a weight that feels more like a promise whispered into the air than a simple gesture. “With me.”
As a purple gondola stops in front of us, the door opens invitingly. The attendant gestures for us to quickly take our seats, and as the door closes behind us, we begin our ascent.
Liam sits in front of me, his arms casually draped over the edge of the gondola. Meanwhile, the fear simmers back as we start our journey upward, and I begin to shrink into myself.
The ground beneath us falls away, and the world expands before my eyes. The view is breathtaking, with sprawling landscapes stretching out in every direction. But despite the beauty surrounding us, my mind fixates on the possibility of danger. My stomach knots so tightly it feels like a fist squeezing from the inside, and my whole body tenses, rigid as a plank. Planks fall fast—and then they break. The thought sends a jolt of panic through me, and my fingers curl around the edge of the seat, gripping it as if it’s the only thing keeping me safe. I can’t stop imagining the gondola swaying, the bolts loosening, or us plummeting to the ground—Liam falling alongside me.
When we finally reach the starting point again, I expect the ride to end, but we continue our ascent instead. My heart races again, but this time, there's a comforting warmth beside me. I glance to my right to see that Liam has moved closer, offering his silent support.
“Are you okay, Sunshine?” he asks, his voice gentle.
Sunshine .
He’s never called me that before, but something about the way it rolls off his tongue feels warm, like it’s meant to comfort me. The only other person who has a nickname for me is my dad. Hearing Liam give me one, just for me, stirs something I can’t quite name—a warmth that spreads through my chest, making me feel…special, in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Y-yes,” I stammer, though the crack in my voice betrays me. His eyes linger on mine, reading the truth I can’t quite bring myself to say
“Come here.”
His arm once again wraps around my shoulders, firm and secure, and I lean into him without hesitation. The faint scent of leather and cedar drifts from his jacket, grounding me as I let my cheek rest against him.
“Look, there’s the cathedral we went to last week.” I peek up and follow his gaze, and sure enough, there in the distance stands the magnificent Gothic cathedral, its grandeur undiminished even from this height.
When the gondola reaches its apex, it abruptly stops, jerking slightly and swaying from side to side. My breath catches, and panic seizes me like a vice. I instinctively cling to Liam, my nails digging into his shirt, and a scream tears from my throat.
“OH MY GOD. LIAM.” My arms wrap around his torso, and I pull closer, almost climbing on top of him in sheer desperation. The sway feels endless like the whole gondola might give way at any second. “We’re going to die. We’re going to fall, I know it.”
He chuckles softly, his laughter a maddening contrast to the chaos inside me. It vibrates through his chest like a calm wave against my storm.
“We're not going to die,” he says, annoyingly steady. “They stop it for a few minutes from time to time. We’re lucky; it stopped at the top. Look.”
I shake my head frantically, every nerve in my body screaming in defiance of his calm demeanor.
“I promise we won’t fall. Just look.”
My head tilts up a little, nausea churning in my stomach. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and an overwhelming sense of helplessness washes over me, making me feel as small as a child. “I can’t.”
His large hand cradles my face, his touch steady and reassuring, yet firm enough to anchor me. “It’s okay. Look at me then.”
Reluctantly, I do. I slowly sit up and fix my eyes on his. His dark eyes hold mine, offering a steady anchor amidst the turmoil. I focus on him, and my racing heart gradually begins to slow, replaced by a sense of calm that emanates from him.
“Just like that, Sunshine,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody. “Keep your eyes on me.”
I do just that.
He slowly licks his lips, and a tingle ripples through my body, a reaction I can’t control. I find myself mirror his subtle gesture. Before I can fully process what’s happening, his lips find mine, and I surrender completely to the pull.
The kiss is tender yet fervent, each movement igniting a fire that burns through every thought, leaving only the sensation of him. I hadn’t realized how desperately I wanted this until now, when his lips finally claim mine, as though they’ve always belonged there.
I sit taller, instinctively leaning into him, my hands sliding up to grip his shoulders as though anchoring myself. His fingers press into my waist, pulling me closer until there’s no space left between us. The faint taste of mint lingers on his tongue as it brushes against the seam of my lips, coaxing them apart. A soft moan escapes me as I comply, the knot of tension in my stomach unraveling under the heat of his kiss.
Our thighs press together, his warmth seeping through the fabric of our clothes. My chest brushes against his as I twist slightly toward him, every nerve ending alive and buzzing. His lips grow hungrier, and I match his fervor, my pulse roaring in my ears, drowning out everything but him.
A throat clears, snapping us back to reality, and we reluctantly break eye contact—only to meet the curious stares of onlookers.
“ Disculpe , the ride is over,” a voice announces, breaking the spell we were under. The purple gondola has stopped. I quickly disentangle myself from Liam, feeling the heat of embarrassment flush my cheeks as I scramble out of the gondola, and Liam follows suit.
“We’re so sorry. So, sorry,” I mutter, unable to meet the eyes of the people in line, my cheeks undoubtedly blazingly red. Keeping my gaze fixed on the ground, I quickly make my way out of the amusement park, not bothering to check if Liam is following.
“Hey, slow down.” The sound of his voice does nothing to slow my quick pace. It’s only when his hand gently touches my arm that I stop.
“Soph, stop,” he urges, turning me around to face him. I look up to find a smirk on his face. How can he be smiling right now? It’s infuriatingly charming and yet somehow comforting. I shouldn't be surprised; after all, I've known him for over a month now, and he's always wearing that infectious smile.
So, naturally, I can't help but return it. “That was so embarrassing.”
“No, it wasn’t,” he counters lightly.
“Were you not in the same gondola as me?”
His hand reaches up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I was, and I enjoyed every second of it.”
Me, too. But I don’t say it back. The words don’t form. Instead, I stand before him, blinking, silent and unsure.
One of the things I’ve come to learn about Liam is his uncanny ability to decipher my thoughts as if he’s reading me like an open book.
Instead of pulling away, Liam takes a deliberate step closer, closing the space between us until our breaths mingle in the air.
“Wh-What are you doing?” I ask, hoping for his lips to find mine one more time.
“I’m going to kiss you again,” he murmurs, “and I’m going to enjoy it even more than the first time.”