Chapter 25
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
Collin
I’m startled awake by the notification chime on my phone.
With heavy arms, I reach for the device, hoping to silence it before it wakes up the rest of the crew.
Everyone is still sleeping, thanks to a massive office building fire in downtown Sycamore.
We got called out yesterday afternoon around three and didn’t pull the trucks back into the station until twelve hours later.
By that point, we were zombies and when the work was complete and we finally hit the hay, I crashed. I never even glanced at my phone, even though Lizzie wasn’t far from the front of my mind.
I tap on the screen and input my password, noting a couple of new messages from my sister. Running my hand over my face, I click on her name and read.
Charli
You’re the biggest idiot ever.
Charli
Seriously, Collin. What the hell?! You’ve got to be the dumbest man alive, and considering the company our brothers keep, that’s saying something.
Charli
You better be sleeping, because it’s taking everything I have not to drive there and kick your ass.
I run my hand over my face once more, trying to figure out what in the world I did to piss in her Cheerios this early on a Sunday morning. When I come up with nothing, I fire off a reply.
Me
What’d I do? Been a long night. We’re all still sleeping.
I catch the time at the top of the screen, noting it’s just after eight. Won’t be long and we’ll have to get up and start chores for the day, including making breakfast. Those thoughts are cut off by my sister’s reply.
Charli
Whitney showed up at paint night last night.
Blood starts to swoosh in my ears as I read her words. My heart starts to pound as dread fills my entire being.
Me
Shit.
Charli
Yep. And in true Whitney fashion, she ran her mouth to Lizzie. I don’t know what about—she wouldn’t tell me. But gauging by the look on Lizzie’s face, I’m sure it wasn’t the ho-bag speaking your praises.
Charli
Fix this. Now. She’s the best thing that’s happened to you and if you mess this up because of the walking STD, I’m gonna kick you square in the balls. Twice.
I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees.
My eyes close, and I picture Lizzie’s face.
She’s smiling at me, just like the afternoon we rode my four-wheeler.
Or she’s cradled in my arms while we fall asleep, like last weekend.
The night I whispered I loved her, wishing I was strong enough to tell her when she was fully awake.
Charli
You there?
Me
Yeah. I’m working until tomorrow morning. I’ll get ahold of her.
Charli
And fix this!!
Me
Yes, Charli. I’ll fix this.
God, I hope I can.
My sister’s right. There’s no telling what Whitney told Lizzie, but I’m sure it’s not flattering toward me.
She blamed me for everything, from being gone too much while I was serving in the Air Force to being the reason she stepped out of our relationship.
According to her, I wrecked everything we were supposedly working toward together.
Yet, I wasn’t the one sleeping with my friends—or, my former friends.
Plural.
But the guilt trip she put on me was pretty intense.
Fuck, I blamed myself for quite a while after it all went down.
If only I had married her during my time in the military, then I could have taken her with me.
Of course, she probably would have cheated at some point then too, so marrying her wouldn’t have fixed anything.
If anything, it saved half my pension and the division of marital assets.
My phone chimes with Charli’s reply, but I don’t read it. Instead, I pull up Lizzie’s name, noticing a message she sent just before one this morning.
Lizzie
Thinking about you and hoping work is going well. Stay safe. Good night.
My fingers hover over the screen. How do I reply? Everything I want to say—need to say—really should be done face-to-face. Sending a text and wanting to talk about my ex is shitty as hell, and I refuse to do that. Instead, I let my heart do the talking.
Me
Good morning, beautiful. Yesterday and this morning were pretty intense. Bad fire. I’ve been thinking about you nonstop. There are some things I need to tell you, I know, and when I get back home, we’ll talk. Until then, know you consume me. I miss you.
I bite my tongue to keep from typing the three little words I want to say.
Not because there’s drama happening, thanks to the appearance of my ex, but simply because I need to tell her.
I should have said it before I left for work last weekend, yet I kept those words to myself.
Well, I said them, but only when she was asleep.
I’m a fucking mess.
But this is something I can rectify. I can fix this, I know it.
I just need to get to Lizzie so I can fill in the details of my past, the ones I should have told her before now. Even if we started off as casual, that’s not how it feels now. The moment we started to teeter into more exclusive and a bit more formal, I should have told her. That’s on me.
We need to talk. Soon.
Until then, I’ll keep communicating, despite doing a shitty job thus far.
Come Monday morning, I’m beat. The drive back to Cooper Town is filled with listening to my mom talk through my speakers, but wishing it were Lizzie.
Not that I’m not grateful my mom calls to keep me company on the trip back to town so I don’t fall asleep behind the wheel, but I’ve barely spoken to the one woman I want more than anything to have a conversation with.
Between her work schedule and mine, our only communications Sunday were sporadic texts between fire calls and patrons.
My morning started with a big car accident on the interstate not thirty minutes after I talked to my sister, and it was practically nonstop until it was time to clock out this morning.
I don’t know if it was a full moon or what, but there was definitely something wonky going on out there.
Now, I’m pulling into town and want nothing more than to drive straight to her apartment and talk to her. Kiss her. Crash in her bed with her in my arms. In that exact order.
But I’m running on barely any sleep, and that’s not fair to her. So, instead of driving to where I want to be, I go home. To my cold, lifeless house. But at least there’s hot water and a comfortable bed to crash in for a while.
After signing off with Mom, I make my way into my place, dropping my bag on the floor by the washing machine to deal with later.
My plan is to catch a few hours of much-needed sleep, shower, and head over to the bar to see her.
I’m assuming Guy is working today, so she’ll probably be on later.
I’ll give her the first half of the day, but then I’m coming for her.
Me
I’m home. Gonna crash for a bit then I’ll come find you. I know we need to talk. I miss you and can’t wait to see you.
I hit send before dropping my phone onto the charger in my bedroom. Then, I crawl into bed and let sleep pull me under.
I wake at three and practically jump out of bed.
I had hoped to be up by one, but apparently my body had other plans.
I knew I needed sleep, but I was hoping I’d catch up later tonight, after talking to Lizzie.
Of course, I could have set an alarm, so the fact I actually slept as long as I did is on me.
After running through the shower, brushing my teeth again, and redressing in a pair of comfortable jeans and T-shirt, I slip on athletic shoes, grab my keys and wallet, and head for the door.
My anxiety level is high, with both a mixture of wanting to see her so fucking bad and knowing this conversation is going to be one of the hardest I’ve ever had.
Even harder than the time I came home and broke up with Whitney.
I jump in my truck and head straight to the bar. Parking in the back lot, I climb from the cab and jog around the building to the front. It’s almost four, not quite time for the shift to change, but that’s okay. It’ll give me about an hour with Lizzie to talk.
Pulling open the door, I’m greeted with the familiar round of hellos from the regulars, all who are sitting at the bar, watching an old episode of Gunsmoke.
Most of them aren’t even drinking. They’re just enjoying the atmosphere and the comradery of friends, something I’ve noticed happening more and more.
They just like being together, talking about life and whatnot, and it makes me smile.
These men are an integral part of what makes The Tipsy Lizard so damn special.
“Hey, Collin,” Guy says as I approach. “Thought you were off today?”
“I am. Was gonna run up and talk to Lizzie,” I reply casually, even though I feel anything but.
“Lizzie, huh?” Jarrod asks, a smirk on his face.
“You sweet on our little Lizzie?” Tom asks, a knowing grin stretching across his mouth.
“You two would make such a great pair,” Larry chimes in.
“She’s not here,” Burt announces.
“She’s not?”
Guy jumps in. “Nope, she took the day off. I’m not sure where she went, but she left a little more than an hour ago. Jani’s coming in at five.”
My heart sinks, and I’m certain my disappointment is written all over my face.
“If it’s any consolation, she didn’t appear upset or anything. Just said she was taking the afternoon off. Something about needing some wind therapy and wanting to go where the trees talk and she could think in peace.”
My brain is spinning, my heart’s trying to leap out of my chest.
Where would she go for wind therapy?
I mentally run through all the places she likes to go, but nothing fits the bill. As far as I know she doesn’t frequent a park or a hiking trail, and she’s never gone on a run with me.
Then it hits me.
Could it be that easy?
“I gotta go,” I tell them, tapping the bar top as I practically bolt toward the door.
“Go get her, tiger!”
“Get your girl!”
“About time he figured it out.”