Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cassian
The car idled by the curb. I didn't kill the engine. The wipers swept across the windshield in monotonous rhythm. Rain hammered the roof like drumbeats.
I gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. I stared at the warm glow spilling from the restaurant across the street.
In the glove box lay a legal document, already signed—drafted overnight by my lawyers and notarized. I wasn't just giving up custody of Laila. I'd set up a charitable foundation in her name.
I rehearsed the words over and over.
"Luna, I wanted too much. But now I want you to be free."
"Even if you take Laila, as long as you let me see her sometimes, I'll accept it."
The words tasted bitter on my tongue.
But I knew if I caged her again like I did six years ago, with that sick need for control, I'd end up with nothing but an empty shell and a dead relationship.
Chloe was right. A man like me didn't deserve to talk about love if he couldn't learn to let go.
I'd even planned it out. When she left for the Chicago tour, I'd shift headquarters operations that way too.
I wouldn't crowd her. That would make her uncomfortable. Even if I could only be a nobody in the audience, breathing the same air as her, I could endure that bone-deep loneliness.
Time passed. I don't know how long. Then across the street, that shock of red appeared. Luna.
She looked breathtaking today, that red dress swaying in the cold autumn wind. She held an umbrella, face hidden. Her gaze was fixed on her feet, like she was building up courage.
I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Then my peripheral vision caught something wrong.
A black SUV tore around the corner from behind, engine roaring through the quiet street. It didn't turn. It accelerated, straight toward Luna's fragile silhouette.
In that instant, my brain went blank. But my body reacted.
No thinking. No weighing options.
In those split seconds, every cell in my body issued one command. Save her.
I moved faster than I knew I could.
"Luna! Move!"
I screamed, and just as the hood was about to hit that red dress, I threw all my strength into pulling her shoulder, barely dodging the most lethal angle of impact myself.
I saw her flung toward the flowerbed like a startled butterfly. My vision was filled with two blinding white headlights.
"CRASH!"
The world shattered with deafening force.
First came the crisp snap of breaking bones. Then pain—soul-ripping, tearing pain from the violent impact. I felt myself airborne, slamming hard into the metal railing by the bushes. My organs felt like shattered stones shifting inside me.
Cold air mixed with thick blood flooded my lungs. Every breath was agony.
I heard piercing screams. Luna. Her cries broke my heart. I wanted to tell her not to cry, wanted to touch her face, but my body had completely disconnected from my brain.
I followed raw instinct, said a few words to her. But her responses sounded far away.
Her voice grew more distant, more muffled. I tried to reach up and touch her face one last time, but my arm wouldn't lift.
Consciousness began to ebb like a retreating tide. Before the darkness took me completely, images of her flashed through my mind—the tears she'd hidden at our wedding, her graceful leaps in the rehearsal studio, that gentle smile I'd never reached when she held Laila in the sunlight.
Enough. I thought.
If this one life could buy her safety, could wash away the debt I'd accumulated over six years, then dying here would be worth it.
Then everything went dark.
I don't know how long passed. Then I saw light.
I seemed to have fallen into a long, heavy dream.
In the dream, there was no Washington cold, no business schemes.
I saw Luna in her wedding dress, barefoot, spinning on the lawn. She wasn't afraid of me anymore and didn't avoid my eyes. She reached out her hand to me and smiled brilliantly.
And I saw Laila. The little one had grown taller, pigtails crooked, running toward me with open arms, shouting, "Daddy! Hug!"
I pulled them both into my arms. That real touch almost made me cry in the dream.
But reality's gravity pulled me back down.
I felt like I was burning. Faintly, a small voice pierced through the fog and entered my ears.
"Cassian... you liar, don't you leave me..."
"I haven't told you yet... I've always loved you... even though you're a bastard, I still can't leave you..."
"Please open your eyes and look at me. If you just wake up, I'll agree to anything..."
That was Luna's voice. She was begging me. She was saying she loved me.
That survival instinct, which had already given up, exploded in my chest like dying embers roaring back to life the instant I heard those words.
I refused to die on the threshold of this beautiful dream. I hadn't told her I was wrong yet. Hadn't heard Laila call me daddy. Hadn't given them a real home.
I had to survive.
I don't know how long I fought—could have been an instant, could have been years. Finally, consciousness returned.
The return came with violent disorientation.
When the first ray of light pierced my pupils, my eyeballs felt stabbed. I saw an oppressively white ceiling.
Medical equipment beeped monotonously, mechanical and cold, but the only proof I was still alive.
I tried to move my fingers. My whole body felt impossibly heavy. Especially my chest and legs—that dull pain surged back the moment consciousness returned, almost knocking me out again.
I struggled to turn my head slightly to the right. Even that small movement forced a muffled groan from my throat.
What I saw was Luna, collapsed by the bedside.
She was asleep. Hair spread across the sheets, golden, catching faint light. Her face pressed against her arm, eyes closed, tear tracks still on her lashes. Her hand gripped mine—tight, fingertips pale.
I watched her for a long time.
She still wore that red dress, now darkened and dried. Her disheveled hair looked like it hadn't been touched in days. Her profile looked so thin.
I stared at her reddened nose tip and moist eyes. Something squeezed my heart hard.
Her breathing was soft, even, occasionally frowning like she was dreaming. I didn't know what she dreamed of, but I hoped it was good. She deserved good.
I moved my fingers, brushing lightly against the back of her hand.
Luna woke instantly.
She jerked her head up. Those swollen eyes that could barely open met mine—first blank, then violently trembling. She stared at me, lips shaking, unable to make a sound.
"Cassian?"
"Yeah."
Tears fell immediately. One drop, two drops, landing warm on my hand.
"Cassian..." She finally broke down crying, voice completely hoarse. "You're awake... you're finally awake..."
I watched the tears streaming down her face, wanted to wipe them away, but my hand was too heavy to lift. I struggled to breathe. With the oxygen mask on, my words came out muffled.
"Don't... don't cry..." I forced out two words, each syllable pulling at my broken ribs. "I'm okay... don't be scared."
"You call this okay!" She shot up, fumbling for the call button, tears falling uncontrollably.
"The doctor said three broken ribs, lung contusion, and multiple leg fractures.
Thank God the car was speeding and skidded—it wasn't a direct hit.
.. Do you know you were unconscious for two days and two nights? Cassian, you almost died!"
I watched her panic, weakly pulling my mouth into a self-mocking smile. "Can't die... heard you crying... how could I dare to die."
The weakness left me dazed. But inside, I felt a strange calm. I'd survived. And she was here beside me.
After the doctor finished a series of tedious examinations and confirmed that thanks to timely treatment, my vital signs had finally stabilized, the hospital room sank back into that delicate silence.
I removed the oxygen mask. Every breath still tasted like blood. Luna brought warm water, gently moistening my cracked, peeling lips with a cotton swab.
I looked at her, couldn't bear to look away for even a moment.
"Luna... I heard everything." I spoke softly, voice like it had been dragged across gravel. "When you stayed with me... what you said. I heard it all."
Luna's movements froze. She kept her head down, eyes flickering in avoidance, ears turning red.
"I heard you say... you love me." I struggled to shift closer to her. "Is that true?"
She pressed her lips together and didn't answer. I looked at her, dropped every defense for the first time.
"These past two days, I've thought a lot. Actually, in the instant I got hit, my mind was empty. Only you. I thought I'd changed recently, but really I still hoped you'd love me, hoped you'd stay. I was wrong. That was just my selfish possessiveness."
I caught my breath, cold sweat beading on my forehead. But I had to finish saying this.
"I shouldn't bind you just because I'm afraid of losing you. You have your dreams. You belong on stage. I shouldn't be your obstacle, so I won't use Laila to threaten you either."
"I know. Stop talking for now." She lowered her eyes.
"No. Let me finish." I looked straight into her eyes, tone more sincere and remorseful than ever before.
"Saving you was my choice. I owed you. And I did it willingly. Don't stay because of this. I won't cage you anymore. I've thought it through—as long as you're alive, as long as you're happy... even if I can only watch from afar, I'm content."
She looked up sharply, something melting in her eyes.
"As for Laila..." I paused, feeling my throat tighten. "She's your life. I won't take her. I only hope... in the future, can you not stop me from loving her? I don't need her to change her name right away, don't need her to call me daddy. Just let me appear in her life sometimes. That's enough."
As I said these words, I felt like my heart was being torn open, but there was also an unprecedented lightness.
"Whatever you choose, I'll support it."
Luna stared at me hard, tears falling like broken beads onto the white sheets. She looked so shocked, like I was a stranger she'd never seen before.
"You big... idiot." She suddenly choked out a curse, voice carrying six years of complex, heartbreaking emotion.
"Why are you saying this..." She cried. "You just woke up, you almost died, and you're saying this..."
"Because if I don't say it now, it'll be too late." I looked at her. "Because I don't want to miss another chance. If I don't say it now, you might leave, and I'll never get another opportunity."
She suddenly bent down, carefully avoiding my chest wound, burying her face in my neck. I felt warm liquid flow down my neck into my collar, burning my heart.
"What you heard was right... you bastard." Her voice shook uncontrollably, carrying a kind of desperate courage. "I do love you! I hate that I only realized I can't lose you at a moment like that! If you'd really died, where was I supposed to go with this damn love?"
She collapsed on my chest, shaking as she cried. I wanted to hold her, but my arm wouldn't lift. I could only let her lean against me, hear my heartbeat.
"What you said," after a long while, she said in a muffled voice. "What you heard when you were unconscious—it's true."
She lifted her head, looked at me with red eyes, and her gaze full of burning, pure love.
I froze.
"I said let Laila call you daddy. I said—"
She lifted her head, looked at me, eyes red, nose red, face covered in tears.
"I said I love you. I said I can't live without you. Did you hear that?"
I looked into her eyes. In those eyes, there were tears, and there was light. The invisible wall between us had crumbled. Her gaze held a determination I'd never seen before.
"I heard it," I said.
"Then do you know how long I've waited for you to say that?" Her voice trembled. "Six years. Every day I waited for you to say you support me, you believe in me, you won't tie me down. I waited until I couldn't dare wait anymore. Then you said it."
"I'm sorry."
"You always say sorry."
"Then I'll say something else."
She looked at me.
"I love you."
Tears fell again. But this time, she smiled.
"I love you too," she said.
I looked at her, felt like I had the whole world.
"When's your Chicago tour? Isn't it coming up soon?" I asked.
She looked at me, silent for a long time.
"I don't know," she said, honest. "I've been on leave these past few days. But after—"
She paused, face showing complexity.
"After, I might still have to go."
I nodded. "Okay."
"You're not angry?"
"No." I shook my head.
"Aren't you afraid I won't come back?" She stared at me intently.
"Yeah," I said. "But I don't want you to stay just because you're afraid I'll be angry. That's not what I want."
She looked at me, smile reaching her eyes.
"You know what," she said, "you're really handsome right now."
I froze, then laughed. The laugh pulled at my wound, making me wince, but I couldn't help it.
"After getting hit by a car?"
She laughed through tears, reaching up to gently wipe the sweat from my forehead. "You've always been handsome. You just used to be handsome in a way that made people want to punch you. Now you're handsome in a way that makes people want to cry."
"So do you want to cry or punch me?"
She thought about it. "Punch first, then cry."
Neither of us spoke. Outside, the rain had stopped at some point. Sunlight filtered through the curtain gaps, drawing a golden line on the floor.
"Luna," I called her.
"Yeah?"
"Can you kiss me? I can't move my hands."
She smiled, leaned down, lips landing softly on my forehead. Very light, very gentle.
"Enough?" she asked.
"No." I pretended to complain.
She kissed me again, this time on my cheek.
"Now?"
"Still not enough."
She laughed harder, tears flowing again, but this time while smiling. She leaned down, lips landing on mine. The soft touch made my heart skip.
"Enough," I said.
She leaned on my shoulder. I felt her breathing gradually steady.
"Cassian. One more thing."
"What?"
"Laila," she said. "When you're discharged, we'll tell her together. Tell her you're her daddy."
My eyes burned hot. "Okay."
She stood up and pulled open the curtains. The sunlight outside was bright, falling on her face, beautiful. I watched her, finally feeling a solid sense of happiness.
"Luna," I called her.
"Yeah?" She turned to look at me.
"You said what I heard was true. So let me tell you something too."
"What?"
"What I dreamed—that's true too. You walking toward me in a wedding dress, Laila calling me daddy, the three of us walking together on that path."
I looked at her.
"That's not just a dream. That's the wish I want to spend the rest of my life making real."
She didn't speak, just walked over. Gripped my hand tighter.
I felt my soul finally, completely redeemed in this moment.
Sunlight fell on our intertwined hands. I knew the long winter of these six years was finally over. Our spring was just beginning.